Delayed in Speech?

Not only would this be common in families who are bilingual, but boys generally take longer to perfect their language skills than girls do. I have one of each, the boy being born first and he began talking *well* by the time he was 3. My daughter who was 1 by then was already leaps and bounds ahead of where he was at that age. I think having the boy first made the comparison seem like my daughter was advanced because I compared her to him. But having a girl first who developed language early on, may make a normal boy seem "delayed." I wouldnt be so quick to jump the gun about him needing speech therapy. This society is so quick nowadays to "label" children with a condition so it can be treated effectively so they become "normal". Phooey! Every child is different with different strengths and weaknesses. Leave them to develop as their brains (and bodies) need to. There will come a time when there might be cause for concern, and when and if that time comes, then yes, seek help. My opinion is, this isnt quite the time! :) He sounds normal and healthy to me!

Hi V.,
I am in exactly same position as you are. I would say - do not, repeat - DO NOT worry. I am very surprised abouth the advice given to you by a speech therapist. Considering what the entire scientific world is saying about 2 languages, I would seriously reconsider taking your son to her. Actually I would not take him anywhere (with the exception of regular pediatricians visits of course...).
I would say your daughter started to speak very early, so don't compare your son to her, all the children are different. And boys are known to start speaking later than girls.
Our daughter did not start really talking until she was your son's age. And again - you wouldn't really call it talking, but it's ok if they use their own words for things, as long as they use them consistently (for example "pepe" is a hat, always). Now she will turn 4 in March and speaks English like crazy, and Polish a lot (that is more difficult because I am the only one speaking Polish to her, and even I switch to English when my husband comes back home). Our son (23 months) starts to speak more and more, but again, it's very little, he is improving though all the time. I noticed a tremendous progress after I have sent him to school for 2 mornings a week. Before that he would hardly say anything (he started going in September). He tries to say things, and he obviously means things by what he says but it doesn't sound exactly like our speach. And it doesn't have to! Ignore the speech therapist is what I would do. Talk to him a lot (in your own language!!!! all the science suggests, is not to introduce the third language too early because this might be too confusing, but 2 was proven to increase the ability to learn languages in the future, to boost the intelligence and all the good things!). Choose a simple word and repeat it many many times at a time pointing at the thing you are describing, or activity you are doing - choose something that he likes ideally. Give him time and relax. You don't want him to feel that you are stressed out about it because he will take it over!

Good luck and all the best in the New Year!

Hi V.,
I don't really have any experience bringing up a bilingual child, but I don't really think think that you have a problem. My niece is the same age as your son (though not bilingual) and she speaks on about the same level. I think that it is normal for some children to begin speaking much later than others. I've known many people who didn't talk much until they were almost three and they were caught up by the time they were four or five. Your son will probably just take off in his speach at some point and catch up with other children his age. I have never heard that it could in any way be harmful to speak multiple languages with children. In fact, I've hard just the opposite. That it can help strengthen some cognitive skills in young children.
You should do what YOU think is best. A Mom's intuition is usually right...and sometimes we just get bad advice from "Professionals"
All the best and have a Happy New Year!
B.

honestly, I wouldn't give what your therapist said a second thought, you just keep doing what you're doing. A child raised in a bilingual home is SO LUCKY, and both languages will come natural to the child, what an opportunity! Have you met adults that don't speak? maybe they're out there, I haven't met 'em. How about a 5 year old, know any that don't speak? Again, they probably exist, I don't know any, though. Sooner or later your child will communicate as well as anyone else, and with the benefit of two languages. I think your therapist has his own theory and.... he's just wrong, that's what I think, frankly!

Hi V.,
I admire your commitment to teaching both languages to your children. And first, a few personal observations:

* It seems the girls in my son's daycare center are ahead of most of the boys of the same age in their language development
* My husband didn't talk--at all--until he was 5 years old. Professionals told his parents he was retarded adn should be institutionalized. His mother vehemently disagreed and fought the diagnoses. He WAS placed in a developmental enrichment program, where he met his friend JJ, who said only swear words. My husband said his first words, "mother *ucker" while on vacation, much to another mother's horror. My mother-in-law was overjoyed that her son was speaking, and taught him to say "mother trucker" instead. PS--20+ years later, my husband completed an Ivy League bachelor's degree, then a master's degree, then a law degree. He is one of the most eloquent speakers and writers I have ever met.

Now--in case you want to pursue further evaluation or he continues to have difficulty as he gets a bit older:
Knowing nothing specific about speech development, but as a family life and mental health professional who frequently makes referrals for occupational therapy, neuropsychological, bonding, and other types of evaluations and routinely interacts with those professionals, I would advise you to seek a second opinion with a speech therapist who you know from the get-go has experience working with bilingual families. If you hear the same advice, it might be worth further pursuing evaluations to determine if your son has a disorder of the part of the brain involved in the cognitive and/or physical aspects of speech production (as opposed to receptive language). I happen to have two friends whose sons both struggled with an inability to physically produce the speech sounds that they could mentally conjure, and speech therapy helped them greatly. It was not a confusion issue--it was an issue of their brain not being able to "tell" their muscles to move the right way to produce the speech sounds that they were trying to make. Both boys experienced a high level of frustration at trying to be understood, had wicked temper tantrums tied to their expressive language difficulties, and became more shy and withdrawn as a defense against engaging in social situations that would be frustrating or embarrassing to them. And in both cases, when their speech therapy started, they blossomed both expressively and emotionally, boosting their confidence and self-esteem. And it had nothing to do with "confusion", but rather, ability to produce the sounds.

Good luck to you! Your son is lucky to have such devoted and conscientious parents.

Hi V.. My husband and I live in Russia at the moment. I am from NJ and my husband is Russian. My 2 boys are both being raised bilingually. My first son was speaking A LOT by 18 mos in both English and russian. My second son however just turned 2 in December and he also has probably 50ish words also...although he uses both languages. I would absolutely disagree with your speech therapist that you should stop speaking one language. Boys are slower than girls and I was always surprised by my first son speaking so early. He's only 4 1/2 and is reading now in 2 languages...slowly, but he's getting it. I have a feeling my little guy will not be the same...but I'm saying this just to give you a feel that there are are other families out there who have 2 or more children and THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT. So don't worry. I would continue what you're doing. God bless you and your family!

I have a 2 year old and I speak Turkish and my husband speaks english. My daughter is receptive to turkish but mainly speaks english. I try my hardest to speak to her in turkish but I am very young and have been speaking english my whole life. My mother is my full time sitter and she speaks turkish to my daughter. I do not know how accurate the speech therapist was because my pediatrician had sad don't stop speaking turkish because they will not get confused there brains are like sponges.

Good luck I haven't come across that issue yet

V.,

Hi! My name is A.. I have a 2.5 year old son and am an adult ESL teacher. One of my biggest pet peeves is when my students tell me they're only going to speak to their kids in English, even though they still need a lot of improvement becasue it's the 'right' thing to do. Your children are blessed to be bilingual. Blessed beyond belief. Keep both languages and go for a second or third opinion. I had to take language acquisition classes and it is a process that has yet to be fully understood. There's no one center or spot in the brain that is known ot be the 'language center.'

Boys do differ in their timetable. My son just exploded with the vocabulary and speaking in the past 2 months. Yet he surprises us sometimes becasue he'll say something we haven't said in a while. For example, when he was born we had a nickname for him and then the other day he just said it even though we haven't used that in over a year.

Don't worry.

Good luck!

A.

V.,

I am very sympathetic to your situation. Our son is being raised bilingually in English and Spanish. We assessed our son at about the same age and received similar advice as you did. There were a few differences. I am the English speaker and my husband the Spanish speaker with our son (now 3.5yrs old). Also, my son's lead level went up at a little over one year as a result of exposure to lead paint. We quickly brought it down, but we were always concerned with his expressive language.

I would say that, like you, we felt it was important to continue to speak in Spanish and expose him to his father's language at home. We we live he will only get it from that and occasional contact with family or other native speakers. We set our own language policy despite what the experts said (and more than one bilingual professional implied we should just stop speaking one language, presumably Spanish).

I also have the good fortune to know some researchers who focus on oral language and early childhood. One expert advised me children jump into languages at different times. This was really refreshing for me as these days I feel pressured as a mom to do things according to some mythical timeframe. I do feel that we ended up altering our behavior as my son went to school in English and has become more English dominant. He continues to get some assistance, but I am not certain how helpful it has been. In fact, sometimes, I feel like it has had a cost. People may not have the same expectations for your child when you tell them about the language delay. Nonetheless, I felt I was in a bind because early intervention is the way we are taught that we can help our children.

I do feel like you are saying your language is important. You have the right to continue to plan your language at home as you please and to continue to talk with people who have other opinions. Also, we do live in a very English only society. Thus, the suggestion to give up Malay rather than English.

Good luck. I know we are studying these issues in a program I am in, in education, and language learning does not seem to be a linear process. It is recursive and not predictable from one child to the next.

Hi V.,I would encourage you to continue speaking in both languages to your son. From some experience I have with speech delays, I learned from a language professoional that it can take eight years for a child to be fluent in two languages. Perhaps just continue encouraging him to try to make the complete words that he does use, and add a bit at a time for fluency. It is common for children to say only part of words, even when they are only learning one language. Don't give up; having two languages is wonderful. It does take some children longer than others and I know of one other mom who was told to speak in only one language at home. She was not happy with that solution but tried it anyway. Do what seems best to you and your family. Best of luck with this problem. Ginnie

Whenever a person with a daughter then gives birth to a son, I ALWAYS warn them that they are going to think their son needs speech therapy, early intervention learning help etc. I have absolutely no medical expertise, but I do have 4 sons. I remember being on vacation with my best friend who called home to speak with her 2 year old daughter. I listened, amazed as she had a very coherent conversation. I then got on the phone and spoke with the little girl myself. I then called my 1st son a very healthy, happy, normal 2 1/2 year old boy and got a "Hi Mama", and nothing else, for my efforts. Boys develop so much slower than girls. Your son's handwriting will probably seem illegible compared with your daughters, his coloring won't be as neat (if he'll even sit still long enough to color). I would definitely get another opinion before you stop speaking two languages in your home. I think it's very normal for a child who is raised in a bilingual home to take longer to speak, but it will be well worth it. It's an amazing gift to give a child the ability to speak 2 languages-- wish I could have done it for mine.