Deciding to Stop Breastfeeding or not....help!

A woman I know that travels a lot for work and is committed to brestfeeding for at least a year FedEx's milk home every couple days in a cooler. She swears she's never had a problem! Expensive, but maybe worth it if it's important to you.

I personally would not wean. Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization advocate breastfeeding exclusively for the the first 6 months and then continuing after the introduction of complimentary solids. The AAP recommends breastfeeding continue "to at least 1 year and thereafter as long as mutually deisred" while the WHO recommends breastfeeding for 2 years.

I find it to be a sad commentary on our society that our breastfeeding mothers face such scorn and opposition. Worldwide, the average age of weaning is 4 years old. Nursing provides not only the best possible nutrition for the child but also play an important role in emotional development. And it's also a really nice trick to have up your sleeve when you need to calm down a hysterical toddler.

My daughter was born 6 weeks prematurely and will be 6 months old tomorrow. We are still exclusively breastfeeding. I anticipate this continuing for at least another month or two as she is not showing any developmental signs of being ready. My absolute minimum for breastfeeding her is 1 year. My goal is 2 years. With the cost of formula and even cow's milk going up so rapidly, I cannot imagine choosing to take on that cost when I have a better alternative available for free.

Will you have access to a freezer while you are away? It could be worth the hassle to have a stash to take home with you.

S.

hi H.,
of course this is a decision that only you can make - whichever feels more right to you. but, if you really don't want to give him formula and had hoped to breastfeed for a year, you really can still do it by pumping while you're away. you can even possibly freeze some of your "stash" and bring it back with you :-) i went away for a long weekend when my son was 6 months - we stayed at a bed & breakfast and the owners were kind enough to let me use their freezer. i think if it were me, i would try to continue to breastfeed until it felt like more of a natural time to ween. good luck with whatever you decide.

J.

you can't just wean - your breasts will become super engorged and will really hurt and there's a possibility that stopping cold-turkey can give you an infection in the breasts. someone suggested cabbage leaves to me when i was pregnant and was not sure whether i was bottle or breast feeding. she said it worked great in reducing your milk supply. (i breastfed, so i have no results with cabbage leaves).

i think you will have to pump on your vacation, maybe not as often as your son eats, but enough to not get too engorged (to the point of your trip not being fun!). i don't know why you say pump and dump for though...that's perfectly good milk! i suggest keeping what you pump, just bring a cooler and ice.

all this being said, i think your son is too young for you to be gone this many days. maybe go on your trip and if he needs you, i think you should go back home. it may suck, but these young years of our children's lives do not last forever! it'll be over before we know it and we'll be stressing over those teenage years! lol

good luck! :)

Congratulations on nursing so long! I personally, am all for the breastfeeding! I nursed my youngest for 14 months and loved it, I wanted to go longer. I think you should "pump and dump" and continue at least a few more months. I'm expecting our 5th and it's a boy this time, yay! I have 4 girls whom I've nursed all. Good luck!

Hi, if it were me I would continue to breastfeed but that is a decision you have to make for yourself. When you come back your son may be looking forward to that bond with you. Also, sometimes weaning takes more than a few weeks. You can have painful engorged breasts. I don't think right before a vacation is a good time to do something like this. Also, if it's tramatic for your son when you stop breastfeeding, you may have guilt and then it will ruin your vacation anyway. If there's anyway you can save the milk for when you get back that would be even better.

It doesn't sound like he is ready to wean. I would pump while you are away.

H.
From all that I have read weaning is not a quick process. Especially if your son helps himself. Check out the le leche league site or contact a member from them. They have a lot of knowledge and are happy to share. I weaned my son at a year. I started to cut out feedings until we were down to one a day. Then he got a cold and I ending up holding him for a week so I think it is what made the weaning easier. Since you are leaving him as well as trying to wean him it may be a lot for your little one. But do what seems okay for him. You may be able to start the weaning process and then finish up when you come back. Good Luck!

Will you have a fridge or a freezer where you are going? If so then you can store it and bring it home with you. I have done that before. If it is in your heart to breastfeed for a year, bring the milk back home (I would cry when I would have to waste my "liquid gold") or dump it out to keep your supply up.

Stopping breastfeeding is a difficult and emotional decision. I stopped nursing my son when he was 18 months because I found out I was pregnant. I was down to 2 feedings a day, but it was hard to give up. He loved nursing! Weaning feeding by feeding is the best way to do it. This should help to eliminate engorgement and infection. Give up 1 feeding for 3 days and then take away another for 3 days and so on. You may want to pack your pump anyway in case you fill up while your away. It is okay to relieve engorgement, it will not cause you to keep producing unless you do it a lot.

I went away when my son was 14 months and packed my pump because I was not ready to wean yet. I pumped and kept it in the hotel fridge and had packed a lunch cooler, packed it with ice, and flew it home in my luggage. It was just fine in there, but I did worry about TSA searching my bag, they did not. I just couldn't bring myself to pour that milk down the drain! Especially because being away depleated my stash at home. It was a little inconienient to have to worry about while DH and I were spending time together, but it worked out just fine. I would do it again if I had to do it again.

Hi H.:

I'm in a similar situation with my 14 month old son. We go away in April and he still loves to nurse before bed and nap. I also have a 3 year old.

I think you have to follow your heart. If you will miss nursing and he will miss nursing then don't let it go. You can pump while away. Even if your son goes through the supply you have while you're away he'll be fine with food and water. You won't be gone long. I weaned my daughter before she was ready and it was really hard and tramatic for both of us. She was trying to nurse from me for about a month after I weaned her everytime I hugged her.

Whatever you decide, enjoy your trip!

Jen

Hello H.,

Aganist my doctor's wishes I transition both of my children to whole milk at 9 months. I started with whole milk toddler/baby yogurt and then started giving them sippy cups with milk. (I stop bottles at 9 months) At their 9 month appointments they check their iron level and both were fine. When they went to whole milk they were also eating table food so I knew they were getting iron. I will probaly getting reamed at on these sites, but I really think your child will be fine at almost 11 months to start whole milk. It isn't like suddenly they wake up on their year birthday with different digestive systems. Also if you continue nursing he would be getting some iron from you.

Andie

I gave my daughter whole milk when she was 11 months, and she was fine. She was eating cheese, yogart, and milk in cereal and seemed to do fine. I figured if she was going to have an allergy to dairy, she would have had it with all of these foods. I also recommend that if you're going to ween him, ween him completely off of the breast and bottle at the same time. I have several friends who didn't listen to this advice and their kids would only drink milk from a bottle, and never from a cup. Put the milk in a sippy cup and let the breast and bottle be done all at once. My daughter was off the bottle at 11 months. It took her a couple of days to get used to it, and then she was fine.

In my opinion, I don't really think you have enough time to wean, and it doesn't really sound like he's ready for it. When I weaned my two boys at 10 months, I gave them formula until they were 12 months or older. It has more nutrients than regular milk, and closer to breastmilk too.

As for the pump & dump method, I have to say I agree with my doctor... Your breast milk does not get fully expressed with every feeding, much less with every pump. When you drink, the alcohol could be in your milk that didn't get expressed. So if you pump the night after drinking, you are not clearing your system enough to be safe for your baby. If it were me, I'd have to give myself quite a few pumps after drinking to be comfortable feeding my child again.

Good luck to all of you and enjoy your trip!

You've made a commitment to breastfeed your child. Can't you just wait another 2 months and then ween?? Honestly, the decision to take away breastmilk seems selfish unless you're willing to pump bottles for the five days you'll be away. Sorry.

I would encourage you not to wean, as you might regret it later.

Be warned though, your son might be very angry with you when you return from your vacation, and you might have a bit of trouble getting him back on the breast. You might not...but I've heard some moms report having problems like this. I have 4 kids, and though I did work full time with 3 of them and 20-30 hrs per week after the 4th was born, I've never been away from them for more than 1 night at a time (and actually, with my oldest now 9 years old, I don't think it has totaled 5 nights all together), so I don't really have any advice on getting a baby back to the breast after such a long absence.

Jenn

I nursed all my girls until their first birthdays. I think your decision is a very important one! Just my opinion, but I think you should pump while you are away. Main reason, it will be a big change for your son to try and wean him so quickly and then you being gone....may be too much for him to handle. You should enjoy the weaning process and take as much time as you both need!
Best of luck..enjoy your time away!!
J.

H., I breastfed all three of my kids, and am a firm believer in how great it is for you and baby. I got to breastfeed my third baby the longest - for 1 year -. This was my goal, as I wasn't able to do it with the other two. I think trying to wean a baby within one week will be too difficult. I found it better to wean at a slower rate. But it may have been because I didn't really want to wean. I could have gone longer. Is it possible to pump and keep the milk to take home with you? If not, then just pump and dump. I wouldn't be too concerned about whole milk at your baby's age. He is closer to one year old. I always waited until they were 1, but know other mothers who didn't. I think you would feel better about weaning if you didn't feel rushed to do so, and when you were ready to wean. It doesn't sound like you really want to wean yet. Good luck with your decision.
M. P

Hi H.:
My children are now in their 20's and I am in my late 40's. When to stop is a personal choice. I breast feed both but when my daughter was six months, I had no choice but to stop breastfeeding (my daughter burped on my right breast and it was infected.) I did not like formulas so I used 1 percent milk with just a little cereal. She did not like the regular bottle nipples eventually I found one that she liked. This is just what worked for me.

PUMP AND DUMP!!!!! Weaning is a tough transition for litle ones and to do this right before leaving him for five days would/could really cause him (and his caregiver while you're away)a lot of stress. Weaning should be a gradual thing, like maybe one feeding at a time. This makes it a lot easier on you and your precious baby.
Plus, you might find yourself in a lot of discomfort still after a quick week of weaning. Your body is going to need to adjust too.
PUMP AND DUMP!!!

Because you say that in your heart you wanted to breastfeed for 1 year, I think that you should pump while you are away, just enough to keep your body making milk. Then when your son is 1, you can start giving him cow milk and wean him in a way that works for both of you. It sounds like you know this is what you want to do. I nursed my son until he was almost 1. A couple weeks before his first birthday I had to go away and so I stopped nursing and I really think that stopping nursing at the same time I went away from him for the first time made everything harder for both of us! Good luck - follow your heart!

You shouldn't need to stop if you don't want to. Just keep storing up for your freezer stash and allow the caretaker to use it in his bottles while you are away. Pump on your vacation and dump it. When you get back your son will be glad to have his booby back! One thing you should do before you leave is get him used to not breastfeeding himself to sleep, if he is doing so now. The best wat to do so is to feed him a little earlier in the night than bed time. Put him in bed at the bedtime and tell him he needs to go to sleep without mommy. Let a nightlight on and leave the room. He'll cry. Go to the door every 20 mins or so and tell him from across the room that yur are still here and you'll see him in the morning. This will be hard- but don't go to him and hug him- let him cry and assure him from the door. This will save your caretaker from heartbreaking nights of crying for his breastfeeding. It should only take a few days to a week to get him to learn to sleep on his own- make sure your caretaker does not feed him to sleep and just puts him in and lets him fall asleep on his own.

The best way to wean is cold turkey. Pick your date and stop breastfeeding. Do not give in and let him nurse at any point. He'll cry, but you just have to hold your ground. It will take a few days, but he'll get over it.

The great thing about this situation is your son takes a bottle easily and you have ennough milk saved in the freezer! :-) I weaned our daughter a few months ago and it took about 2 weeks, which seemed to be faster than some weanings go. I generally waited a few days before dropping another feeding.

The one thing to be very aware of is that when you drop the last feeding, you will be VERY full. This lasted almost a week for me, and there were a couple days I had to express a little milk to avoid clogged ducts. It was even painful to wear a bra. You will be very sensitive to say the least. Not to mention, your hormones go a little out of wack. ;-( So, considering these things and wanting to enjoy time with your husband, you might not want to wean right before a trip.

Three things, though, that I found very helpful when dropping the last feeding are: take tylenol, wear cabbage leaves in your bra (sounds weird, but really helps!!), and drink sage tea. These will help dry up your milk supply more quickly.

Hope this helps! I would imagine your son would be ready to resume breastfeeding once you're back home, especially b/c he'll want that closeness with you after being away.

Hope this helps!

I feel for you, as pumping is a "pain" (I never liked doing it), but personally, I took cues from my daughter when she was ready to wean. At 12 months, we started to introduce whole milk to her from a sippy cup and she really liked that. So, we gradually reduced nursing until we got to only once a day then that was it. From what her pediatrician said, not every woman is able to do that, for some once you reduce nursing, your milk supply may stop all together. I felt fortunate to that my daughter and I were able to gently ease out of it together. I think that helped both of us. Good luck with it and enjoy your trip!

K. T.

It's hard to let go of that closeness you have with your baby.

I breast fed all three of my babies (now all grown) and as I recall, the emergence of teeth at this time was always a factor in when to stop nursing!

You've given him a good start, so they won't write you up in the book of bad mommies if you wean him now, especially since it's for the benefit of your relationship with the other important guy in your life!

I am the mother of three girls (4, 2.5 and 15 months) and nursed all of them. The first for a year, the second for 10 months, the third for 8 months.

I dont think you will be able to wean him a week especially because he is your first. You are probably nursing him four times a day, maybe more sometimes, but you my advice would be to pick one feeding, the one he does not eat as much, and take that away first. You should do that for a week and then the next week take another one away.
You will be in a lot of pain if you try and do it all in a week.

I HATED to pump but did it when need be. I would take the pump with me and ask for a refrigerator with a freezer and
store the milk. Dont DUMP it. bring it home with you from your trip and use it.

I did use formula especially when I stopped nursing and they say you are good to go if you can get passed 6 months. Your son may find it easier to take the bottle if its formula and not breast milk -- my kids did.

I hope this helped!

Unfortunately, either option will suck for you while you are away since it takes ~2 weeks for your body to stop producing milk.

I would recommend you pump and freeze if you can--dump when you can't. Hot showers and tight bras will be your friend.

When I spent the first night without my son, my husband even helped me to get the milk out--although it was kind of awkward lol. (He understood how women feel with the whole 'spit or swallow' question! j/k)

I'm a breastfeeding advocate though--my son is 18 months and still feeds ~6 times a day.

Whatever your choice, good for you for getting an outsider's view to make your decision!

Have fun on your babyless trip!
~meg

I made the mistake of thinking I could completely wean in 2 weeks....Ouch! Not a good idea. Weaning is definitely a process that takes time. You need to start with taking one feeding out during the day and only leaving that one feeding out for 2 weeks....then remove another feeding. Take your time....otherwise you get clogged ducts, etc. and lots of pain!

Dear H.,
If it was me I would pump and dump. Let him self ween it is truly best for them. And hurts nothing and noone. Our society has made a wonderful thing dirty and this is very sad to me. Your are doing a wonderful thing for your child and should be proud of your commitment to your child.

"We must be the change we want to see in the world"
-Gandhi

Abundant Blessings
Trish

Hi H.,
That is a tough choice. I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself and your son to ween in 1 week. (Unless your son does not seem to be bothered too much by weening quickly and your okay with it)
Maybe see how it goes, start weening him now b/c he will not be breast feeding while your gone, and see how he responds when you get back. If he is upset and fussy continue the weening process slowly. Do what works best for you, and don't pressure yourself too much to make a final decision!

Hi
Well in my opinion, you should go ahead and pump & dump to keep your milk supply for several reasons. First, he is too young to give whole milk yet, so when you run out of your freezer stash, you'll need to put him on formula...why do that when you have all that awesome free milk!!

Also, while he may be accepting of the bottle while you're away...he's going to miss you and when you get back he's going to want to bond with you which will include wanting to nurse. He's used to getting that from you and will not understand that your milk has dried up. It could be pretty difficult for him to deal with.

Babies usually let you know if they are ready to wean...sounds to me that if he's still enthusiastic about it, then he's not ready. :)

Of course, I happily nursed both my kids until they were 2 yrs old and am a strong advocate of the benefits of extended nursing, so I am biased!! :)
E.

pump and dump while away and when you come back you will feel like you are bonding with him again and making him very happy to see you. You can skip pumping one time a day while away your milk will come back once he starts nursing again. You will probably feel guilty for leaving and if you take this away you may feel even worse. At a year you can go right to a cup of milk and slowly stop nursing over a couple of weeks it will be less uncomfortable. I am a mother of 3 (4, 2, and 9 weeks) and have done this 2 times. Good luck what ever you decide will be the best for the two of you.

If you want to continue nursing I don't think being away for 5 days will be a problem. You may not even have to pump as much as you'd think since your supply is already well established unless you have an oversupply and get engourged easily.

I recently weaned my daughter but I had to enlist my husband for help some help. During the day we just slowly cut back one feed at a time but overnight I had my husband go in with her and comfort her when she woke up looking to nurse. Sometimes he had to sleep on her floor and sometimes there was a little crying but it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. She was older though at 16 months.

Either way I hope you make the decision that makes you happy and that it goes smoothly. Have a great trip!

If you feel that his being away from you is going to be h*** o* him, this might not be a good time to ween. He will need that comfort from you before you leave and after you get home. Pumping can be a pain, but if you want to continue, it can be done. I was away from my first for about a week when he was 6 months old, pumped and returned to nursing when we got home and it worked out fine.
Do what you feel is right. You have given him a great start, and it is a very personal decision.

H.,

I had a similar situation in which I was going away for a week without my daughter. I started weening a month before going away. A week is a short amount of time to ween and may be very painful for you. It can be done, especially if he is accustomed to the bottle already. I would suggest mixing your breast milk with whole milk (50% breastmilk, 50% whole milk) if you are not wanting to put him on formula.

I read your update and think he will understand completely that he cannot nurse when you're away b/c you won't be there. It'd be different if you were, say, having surgery or taking meds and would be home but unable to nurse - that would confuse him b/c all the "equipment" would be present, he just wouldn't be able to do it. You'll be amazed at how forgiving he is and how anxious I'm sure he'll be to reconnect w/ you through nursing; it's such a special bond! Kudos to you for deciding to continue it beyond the trip!! I'm still nursing my 21 month old son and intend to go for as long as he wants or at least until at 3... talk to me then and maybe I'll have changed that to at least age 4 - LOL

I was in the same situation, but I brought my pump and storage bags. Most hotel rooms have mini refridgerators (or you can request one). It was a little bit annoying but I was really happy I did b/c I truly wanted to make it to at least one year. Even more important....you don't want your boobs to hurt when you finally have a few days alone with your husband...and they will when you stop pumping/breast feeding!!

I stopped brestfeeding at exactly 10 and 1/2 months with my first, and also didn't want to do formula. My goal was a year, but, like you, a situation came up at the 10 and 1/2 month mark which made it best to ween at that time. I started whole milk early just because I figured it couldn't do much harm to a perfectly healthy baby with only one and a half months to go to 1 year!!! For what it's worth-it worked out great and we had no problems. If you're weening soon anyway-I wouldn't sweat it. You can always bring your pump just in case, and scrap it of you just want to relax!!!