Dealing with Weight Gain Gracefully

I had a hard time losing much when I was nursing. I know all the "books" say that it helps you lose, but it made it more difficult for me instead. So, just bear in mind that that might be a contributing factor and cut yourself a little slack.

My husband has also tactfully mentioned when I had let my weight grow a little too much, and it was a great incentive to do something about it. He is less concerned with my appearance with the gain, as with my HEALTH. I'm guessing your hubby might think that way too? So you take that attitude about it. It isn't about your look, or your size, but about your health! Eat healthy as much as you can. Try to eat whole foods (eat an orange instead of drinking juice, for example) and as unprocessed as you can. Keep yourself drinking water throughout the day (which is good for you nursing anyway).. just keep a bottle in the car, a bottle in the diaper bag and a glass around the house somewhere handy all the time. And remember that it took some time to gain, so it will take some time to lose. No expecting miracles. ;)

Hang in there. You'll get where you want to be. Just keep on keeping on...

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Keep your "eye on the prize" and focus on 5 lb. increments. After all the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time! Drink lots of water & keep it handy at all times. Take advantage of his support by ramping up your exercise time at the gym/park/wherever you work out.

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try counting your calories. It's the best way I have found to shed those pregnancy lbs. if you are nursing you have to stay between 1500 to 1800 calories a day. Don't go lower than that cause it can decrease your supply. I stayed right around 1500. To make it easier to count I would drink slimfast and also get the lean cuisines or smart ones frozen meals. Then I knew exactly how many calories I was eating. And when you need a snack have fresh fruit or veggies. Best of luck! I know it's hard but you can do it.

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Weight Watchers is a really good weight loss program (I lost 69# after baby #2). It is based on science and not fads and really helps you put things into perspective. But you do have to lose the wt for YOU and not him.

After reading your update, if you are nursing, 1500 calories is NOT enough. You need 1000 just to nourish the baby! You are most likely not losing wt because you are not eating enough. Please make sure you are taking your vitamins.

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You're right to be treating your husband with such respect. He has a right to ask you to be at a healthy weight. But trust me, it doesn't make it any easier when your husband is okay with it. The pressure and difficulty to loose are still there.
My suggestion for eating right is this. Try to cut out the unnatural stuff. So many of the foods we eat are processed and have chemicals in them. These chemicals cause a chain reaction and make us want to eat more and more of the unhealthy types of food. So if you decide to "cheat" and go for a pop (soda) it will make you crave pizza, or ice cream, or a burger, etc.
I've started by reading every label and refusing to bring things into the house that contain corn syrup, MSG (monosodium glutamate), or aspartame. Many of these chemicals are cancer causing and detrimental to your health in many ways, including weight gain.
Since cutting out the "big 3" I've noticed myself not thinking about food nearly as much, not having cravings, and not being nearly as hungry as I was. Drink lots of water and Green tea.
You can do this! You and your family are worth it!

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If you are still nursing, then getting the weight off at this moment shouldn't be a worry. If you take too much off, it could mess with your milk supply.

It sounds like you are doing the exercise, so the thing you need to do is find a diet that works for your taste buds. You need to change the way you eat though. If exercising isn't doing it alone, then you are taking in more calories than you are burning. Losing weight is hard, so just be positive about it try to stick to your guns about exercising and eating healthy. The best thing I found that works for me is to have a cheat day once a week. That way, the foods I don't normally eat, I can eat in moderation that one day. Good Luck to you.

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It is going to take TIME - the weight didn't go on overnight and won't come off overnight either! I think that your husband sounds nice and supportive which means that as long as he sees you making an effort then he will be happy and looking forward to the SUPER HOT you!

Start with a check-up at the doctor to make sure all is well - especially since you are nursing! Have them take blood and check your thyroid levels (thyroid problems make it difficult to lose weight and because the symptoms are so varied it is hard to pinpoint a diagnoses).

Good luck.
blessings,
Stacy

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join some kind of class and have him take care of the kids at least one night a week and perhaps during the day on the weekend. That is 2 classes a week. If not a gym, go for long walkes, bike ride, etc. It is great that he is motivated to have you lose weight, so that he can pitch in and give you the time to do so. What worked for me was Weight Watchers and walking 45 minutes daily. I would put both kids in the double jogging stroller with a snack in front of the toddler and walk while baby was about to nap. Usually baby would fall asleep and sometimes toddler too. And I never did get back to my pre-baby weight but at least feel healthy and somewhat shapely again. Enjoy the time with the little ones and your outings and before you know it your weight will be off.

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You've got a lot of great answers already! Just skimming through some of them, here are my thoughts that I haven't seen mentioned yet...
One thing you should keep in mind is to watch the fit of your clothes rather than the scale. I was working with a trainer, making slight changes to my diet a little at a time which added up to HUGE changes over a few weeks or a month & lost over 36" overall (down 2 sizes finally!) 4 yrs after gaining 50# with my first. The scale didn't budge at all, but I was down 2-3 sizes, so I was thrilled! =o) I also got prego with #2 right towards the end of my weight-loss goal when I could almost wear my skinny clothes. I was really lucky & lost most of the weight from #2 very quickly, but also got prego quickly with #3, so here we go again!
There are so many little changes you can make to your diet to cut fat, which was the hardest for me. Until I started tracking my eating, I had no idea I was eating over 100 grams of fat every day!! RdV is around 60 I think for a 200 cal diet, and my trainer put me on 30g/day to lose the weight. at first it seemed impossible, but just cutting a little at a time worked wonders. Within less than a month I was able to adjust my diet to get down to the 30g/day. Granted, I still splurge once in a while and eat Chick-fil-a or some other nastiness, but I seriously feel it later..
Even just watching portion sizes can make a huge difference. Since my hubby isn't particularly interested in the whole "weight-loss plan" (he gets a total attitude about it), but complains constantly about his weight, I've been encouraging him to try this... Instead of eating a whole sleeve of Oreos, stick with the 3 that are the serving size on the package, or rather than eating an entire bag of goldfish, go by the serving size, etc. Though it doesn't seem like it at first, over a short time you will realize that you are satisfied with the smaller portions. It's made a big difference for him in just a couple of months. He's a major geek & gamer, so constantly on the computer & snacking on something. Though he's certainly not obese (he almost looked anorexic before), he has also gained 50#+ since we married 7 yrs ago and it bothers both of us- not just for aesthetic reasons, but health issues that can accompany it.
Another thing to keep in mind (as other moms have said) is that the weight loss has to be all about you- no one else. What most people don't realize is there are lots of emotional triggers that cause people to gain weight (not just hormonal). Once you figure out what's eating you and can move past it, you'll start losing the weight. For me personally I had been through a whole long string of bad friendships where the people I thought were true friends were just using me. I used food as comfort and literally built a cushion around myself to keep people from getting too close. I figured this out, started working with a naturopath to help with the hormonal issues, and am now much healthier both physicall & mentally. It makes all the difference in the world!

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There is a website out there called SparkPeople.com, it's essentially Weight Watchers without the cost, absolutely free! It gives you a place to track your exercise and diet habits, as well as giving you a great community of people who are doing the same thing you're doing. Under My Nutrition, you track your water and food consumption; it will start out giving you a food plan but you can change the page so that you enter what YOU eat rather than following a set plan. Having to track everything you eat really makes you think of what you put into your mouth! Once you've entered your weight and your goal, the site will compute a range of calories, carbs, fat and protein that will get you to your healthy weight. Generally for weight loss it's 1200-1500 calories, and you want to zero out that lower range, in other words, eat at least 1200 but not more than 1500, using that example. Your range could be totally different!

Good luck!

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I just wanted to say that hormones and stress can make it nearly impossible to lose weight no matter what you're eating or how much you're working out so don't be too hard on yourself. The hold up could also be the nursing too. I've never been able to lose weight while nursing and in fact I gain weight. It's super annoying to not be able to work on the baby weight until after weaning, but I try to focus on what best for my baby. I'm sure your man is just as wonderful as you say, but it's never easy to hear/feel like your hubby wishes you looked another way, period. Tell your hubby that you need him to ease up on the pressure to lose weight that his putting on you. It won't help and at some point you might start to resent him for feeling that way since you gained the weight having his children. Pregnancy weight is just one of those things that a man should NEVER even hint about it bothering him. I'm sure if your hubby was to think about it, he would rather have you with a little extra weight if the alternative was having to give up those precious kiddos to keep you thin. As for the eating thing, I try to eat what I'm feeding my kids. I'm sure you make a point to give your kids healthy food, so why not have the same snack they are having, portion wise and all. A banana and skim milk works surprisingly well at killing a sweet craving. Anyways I guess my point is, just relax, eat healthy, be active, and try not to focus too much on the weight, it will come off. Best of luck.

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Hi J.. Feeling overweight and out of shape is not fun! I completely understand how you feel....after two children. First thing to realize if you want to make this a temporary or permanent change. I don't like diets because you eventually gain that weight back and go back to your old habits. I recently decided that this was a new life change and I was ready to start eating healthier and become fit. I have been drinking Shakeology for about 2 months now and I love love love it. Its healthy and tastes great! I also work out 4-5 times a week. I have lost 9lbs and 1.5inches in my waist.....and no I am not at my goal yet. You can visit www.beachbodycoach.com/coachshivok and sign up for a free membership that gives you access to recipes, a virtual online gym with lots of motivation and even a profile to help you track your goals and success. You can learn more about Shakeology at www.myshakeology.com/coachshivok. If you are interested....message me and I can send you a sample to try.

PS - I also use a BodyBugg that helps track the calories that you burn but you have to keep track of your calories you consume....helps with that weightloss too! ;o) Good luck!!

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I do not know how much money you want to spend but their are several places now that you can go to to talk to a nutrionist and get on a meal plan i.e., My Fit Foods, Diet Gourmet, Healthy Meals, etc.

I am pregnant right now with my second and looking into how to get this weight off once I am done. It looks as if it will cost anywhere from $500 to $1000 for a month's worth of food. Also, you could look into getting a trainer or joining a running club to train for the half or full marathon i.e. HoustonFit, Roadrunners.

By the way, tell your husband to have two kids and deal with all of the hormone changes. It is not easy and I am very active when I am not pregnant. I have done 5 marathons and 5 MS150s along with weight classes and I still have issues getting some parts of my body back.

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its like i am reading my own words, from the pregnancy after having finally shed baby weight for #1, to the eating right , working out all the time, breastfeeding, and the husband who is supportive , but i know he likes me smaller. EVERYTHING is the same with me. Im having a very hard time with the 40 lbs i need to lose to get back to 130 lbs. My breasts are 38 e and are the hugest things on me, although my butt does an excellent job of competing. Its just harder for some people i think. I started a raw vegetable cleanse 3 days a week, on top of my already vegetarian/good fat/high fiber/no sugar diet. I started Jillians 30 day shred 3 times a week to go along with my rollerblading/powerwalking/pilates.

I am just barely inching along, when did it get this hard!?!

The only advice i can come up with, that has helped me a little, is going more feminine, more skirts, more cute hairdos, waxing, nighties, pedicures, things like this can offset the sluggish way i feel when i face my plump face in the mirror every day. I know im not obese, and am actually in pretty good shape for a mom of two , but i cant shake the feeling either.

God bless and Good luck to you and yours

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it is HURTFUL when you hear someone doesn't like something about you. no way around that. i'm sorry i don't have any advice about that. but is he really going to say that and then not be willing to help you...or would he excercise with you, cook and eat healthier meals with you...etc...if he is as great as you say i bet he would. even if he is in perfect shape himself, we could all use more excercise and to eat healthier.

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I know how you feel. Not only do you look and feel better its healthier too. I really need to loose 90lbs. I also got preggers while loosing the weight from the first one. I would however focuse on being healthy right now and how bad the extra lbs are for your body. Its also really unhealthy for your kids to grow up thinking its ok for us to be over weight. My husband also feels the same about me and I do about him. We both have gained a ton of weight and were more attracted to each other. I just saw your hubby got you a gym membership and is super supportive. I love that he is backing you and supporting you to be the healthy person you once were. It didnt all come over night and it wont all go away over night either. Keep it up.

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Hi J., I see that you already have a ton of advice on this, I just wanted to throw out there that back when I had my first child (almost 14 years ago), I knew a couple of moms who'd gained a lot with their pregnancies and were really struggling to take the weight off. They went to Jenny Craig because they had a special diet for nursing moms, and the weight literally FELL off them! They felt really good the whole time--not starving or anything--and they knew because the diet was designed for a breastfeeding mom that they were still 'doing right' by their kids. Anyway, thought this little tidbit might help, and best of luck to you!

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My honey made the comment once that I was still alright. Ouch. That's far from the compliments he used to give me. I tell you what is working for me. He used to go to the YMCA and take the kids in the evenings. I would stay home and make dinner. I loved the quiet time to pick up the house and get dinner done. Then 1 day he asked if I wanted to go. I didn't want to sound lazy and I was so touched that he invited me that I went. I haven't stopped since. I go do the group classes alot, but we also work out together. He shows me how to use the machines and that makes him feel good to be able to teach me something. I take him to the treadmill and eliptical with me. It's kind of fun and a good relationship building activity. I haven't lost that much yet - only 12 lbs. But if you ask him - I am now the hottest woman in the room! He can't stop going on about my body. And our sexlife has spiked! I think some of it is for my benefit but some of it is all in his head. I tell him - I'm going to work on my butt and thighs - a week later he is obsessed with my butt and thighs! In his mind, they are improving. And since he is there encouraging me It keeps me going. I had to just swallow my pride and walk into that 1st class with no makeup on, wearing unflattering workout clothes. Now I look beter in his eyes and he tells me how proud he is.

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Wow, I am impressed that you are taking the challenge. Way to go! Now you just need to figure out what is going on inside that makes it hard to eat right. Do you reward yourself with food? Are you the type that doesn't like being told what to do? Do you resent the fact that other people seem to have it easier than you? Find out what is getting in the way of you following the plan.

I reward myself with food, so I make orange juice popsicles for dessert or have those whipped low fat yogurts that have dessert flavors. Find what works for you.

If you don't like being told what to do, then give your husband the kind of phrases and encouragement you do like. For example, tell him not to tell you what to eat, but to ask you what you will be eating. Or remind him that you'd really like it if he would applaud you when you are eating the right foods but to say nothing if he thinks you aren't eating something that you should. Men need to know the words to say. He obviously will do anything for you.

If you think other people have it easier, then just keep reminding yourself of what you have that others don't have: a supportive husband, a trainer (I'd love that!), a gym membership, beautiful kids, etc. The more you stop looking at what makes other people's lives look better, the better it will be on you. (If that is an issue.)

These are only examples, but it is not hard to put the right food in your mouth. It is hard DECIDING to not put bad food in. If there is something you absolutely have to have, just have a bite of someone else's. For example, if you go eat at someone's house and they fix your favorite dessert, just ask your husband if you can have a bite of his. When I was trying to lose weight for my daughter's wedding, I only ate a bite of dessert here and there and I got used to it. It was nice getting to taste it and I got to the point where I felt more in control than everyone around me because I could just enjoy one bite. I was just applauding myself inside and felt really good, which helped me want that feeling again. Then when your husband starts noticing the weight come off, you will want to keep at it.

You can do it!! You are stronger than you think. You had kids, didn't you? Wasn't that all worth it?!

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Sounds to me like you've got it all together except the motivation. The only way to lose weight is to exercise and count calories. 1500 is a good reasonable goal. The only thing I would add is to give yourself one splurge a week (splurge, not blowout). It's going to take up to a year to get the weight off even if you're perfect, so you need to feel like you're not completely deprived. This way you don't feel like "I can't have chocolate for a year", you can have chocolate on Saturday. You're on a good path. You can do it!

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If you have had a tubal ligation, it can effect your hormones and make weight lose more difficult. I agree with challenging yourself 5 pounds at a time and with 1500 calories. If you stick to 1500 calories religiously for several months and still can't get the pounds to budge, you may need to see a doctor and have your Thyroid checked. Certain foods are said to boost your metabolism, you might study up on that. A teaspoon on cider vinegar 30 minutes before a meal will help with digestion by helping your body break down the food into smaller particles and thus help with weight loss. My mom has lost 15 pounds in 1 month just using the cider vinegar. It shouldn't hurt the baby since it is in Vinaigrette type dressings.

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Try taking up an activity with your husband. My hubby and I exercise regularly together (including weight lifting, hiking and riding bikes). You may like tennis or racket ball. If he sees you being active and working, he will stop nagging you. We take the kids with us on the hikes, so everyone is getting healthy. Also, it is lots of fun!

i would try weight watchers... you can have the foods you like and still lose weight if you stick to points and portion control.

I have to add my 2 cents. 1500 calories is not enough for a nursing mom. In fact if you are not eating enough your body will hold onto the fat and you will do exactly the opposite of what you want to do.

My suggestions is to move more, and try Weight Watchers. WW even has guidelines for pregnant and nursing moms and it's easy to do all online. You don't even have to attend meetings, just use the online tools and you will do great. I lost 37 lbs a few years ago and I did it all online. I kept most of it off too! I think I gained 5 or so back, but I'm not too worried about that.

Another thing that can really hinder the process is stress. If you are feeling a lot of pressure that can't be helping. I'm sure as long as your husband sees you making an effort he will be grateful. Remember weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint. It took you 9 months to put on the weight you have to give yourself at least 9 to get it off. With Weight Watchers you will lose at a health rate of 3-5 lbs a week, and before you know it 10 lbs, then another 10 lbs and so on.

You may also want to look into Jenny Craig or another weight loss system that has counseling and tools to help you learn to eat healthy, portion control and make good food choices for a life time of weight control. I just recommend WW because it worked for me and many of my friends and I love that I was in control and no meetings!

Good luck, I'm sure you will get there!!

I have never been great at losing weight but I was able to shed a bit before my wedding with Weight Watchers. The can help you adjust calories for breastfeeding. Good luck.