Dealing with the "Family's"

Hi J.,

We recently brought home a puppy too. She is 15 weeks old and we got her when she was 9 weeks. I did a lot of reading on different methods of house training and found that crate training was the best method for us. We have 2 young kids and I wanted her trained as quickly as possible. I also read that a puppy that is not house trained needs to spend time in the crate whenever you cannot watch her (i.e. when working, cooking, taking a shower, etc.). Since a dog doesn't want to mess in her private crate, then this teaches the puppy that she can indeed hold it until she is let outside. I also read that a puppy should only be in a crate for 1 hour per month old that she is. Also, a puppy needs to be let outside about once every hour, and right after eating. We have a designated place in our backyard that we always take her to go potty. That way we don't have to worry about the kids stepping in any poop and it is easier for her to know that she needs to do her business before playing. I am also a big fan of clicker training too. So when I take her outside to go potty I will use the clicker and then give her a treat once she finished. If she has an accident inside the house, don't scold her, or rub her nose in it. This will only make her afraid of you and then she will go potty in the house but in places that you can't find. There is a lot of info. on clicker training on the internet and lots of books out there if you want to read up on it. This worked VERY well for us. It is time consuming in the beginning, but the puppy will get it. If you have any questions feel free to e-mail me.

Good luck!
L.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi, I can sympathize. We raise and train dogs. Mostly Labradors. I am also magnet for strays. Dogs are way hard, especially when they are not house trained. If I were you , I would get a nice sized dog crate (big enough the dog can stand up and turn around) for the house. When your family is gone, put the dog in there. They can stay there for 4-5 hours comfortably, if all "aired/empited" out before hand. If this is a puppy 6 months or younger it may need to be taken outside more often. If the dog is sleeping, let it sleep. If the dog/puppy wakes up and makes noise, take it out to "go". Watch and make sure it "goes" outside, then do big praises. If the dog has never been in a crate before, You may have to do a little quieting lesson. Bang on the crate and tell it "NO-Quiet" Put the crate away from where you are so the dog will rest. You can choose when the dog goes out and also walk/watch the dog to make sure it is "going" outside. Praise the dog when it "goes" outside. Also an outside kennel/run is awesome for them. Dog can be outside and move around a little more. You can pick and choose which depending on the weather. If the dog barks in the outside kennel you can get a no-bark collar, they are wonderful. You may need a little lesson on how to teach the dog not to bark, but this can be accomplised in a day or two (if the dog even barks) You can find used kennels/runs in the paper or on craigs list all the time for a good price. They last forever so used ones are just fine. Dogs are awesome for kids.

1 mom found this helpful

I feel sorry for you. A new dog is alot of work! I would suggest crate training your dog. Buy a little dog kennel with a door on it. You can put a blanket in there and even feed your dog in there. It is always a good idea for a dog to have a safe zone or a place to call its own for travel or whatever. It also provides a place to keep your dog while you are busy with your work. When you let your dog out of the crate take it right outside and tell it to go potty or whatever words you want to use. If you are consistent they will begin to go potty on demand. One thing to look for if your dog is in the house if they start dancing around or moving their legs really fast they have to go potty. It really may depend on the breed too, my border collie x had one accident and that was all it took. My lab took a few more times to get it. Good luck!!!

J.
I would agree that crate training is probably the best answer for you. You can get work done in the house, not have to worry about your puppy or its safety or breaking any hearts. It could be the dog WAS house trained but you and the dog aren't communicating the same way the previous owners had. I have 2 dogs we rescued and even though they were both trained it took a couple of days for them to understand my cues and for me to understand theirs. Well worth it though, as we don't have accidents now. We used crates when we first got the dogs. It helped tremendously.
Is there a way to find out from the previous owners how they let the dog out to go to the bathroom? know what cues were already used? it would speed up the process for you.
Your husband can feed the dog, have a set time as he gets up in the morning to feed the dog and have it out for its morning run around the yard. My husband does this in the morning at 5 am. Then the dogs come back in and rest for a few hours. I don't have to feed them again just let them back outside for 30 min. then I run the kids around and they are inside resting. We get back from dropping kids off at school and they go out for a couple of hours most days if the weather is nice. Then they nap again. Granted my dogs are getting older now but still young, 3 and 4 yrs. I've had both since 9 and 6 months. I'm more annoyed with the cat we added in March since she is more demanding of my attention, I have to clean up her litter box and change out her scratch posts. I feel the cat is more work. lol. But I love not having mice! hehe.
If this will turn into a huge resentment you may need to sit down with your dh first and then your kids and talk it through. My mom says she never agreed to the family dog and my dad says she did--he's 14 years old now (the dog not my dad haha) and is with my brother who owned him. And it is still something that sometimes festers between my parents. They don't communicate well. It could have been resolved earlier, my mom didn't hate the dog but resented that the decision was made without her. My dad didn't see it had been made without her. But she didn't say anything to him for a long time because she was mad and he was just supposed to know why. So talk it out with him, see if you can come to an arrangement that pleases everyone and let it go, if not you may need to find another puppy later--I'd try to see if you can work it out with the dog first, but I am also a dog lover--and our first was a present to me because my dh knew how much I wanted a dog.
Good luck.

what you do with the dog, when you are at home you take the dog out or put her in the yard about every two hours. and when she does her business you praise her to no end. I know that is a bit of pain. Or if you have a fence you just put her out there for the day. If our weather is decent and not raining and or the like she will be fine. Remember she has a fur coat and her normal temp is about 102.0 so unless it is raining or really cold out it is not going to harm her. Good luck. I have the same here right now. But mine is house broke but she still thinks my cats are her toys. She is so wrong on that one.

We kennel trained our dogs. To do this buy a kennel that the dog fits in ( can stand up in and lay down in comfertably) Then when the dog is inside and you cannot watch her very closley and I mean every movement that is were she is. She wont want to go poody if she can't get away from it in the kennel. Do the usual praise when she goes outside and soon you can let her have more roam of the house.

Keep the dog outside or get rid of it. PetSmart has doggie training programs. Your husband should have asked you first, so talk to him and let him know that if he can't make it easy for you, you just can't do it. That should include potty training and anything else that makes your day rough. I can see feeding a dog and taking it for a walk; feeding takes little time and walking is healthy. Beyond that you should not be troubled. And since you said you would think about it, now is the perfect opportunity. Keep thinking about the dog. Is it worth it? I always thought it was a fortunate mark of our civilization that we no longer have to live with our animals.

We had our dog in the house for a while. It was a mess if she had to go outside and it was raining. We ended up getting another dog to play with her and they are outside 24/7. We also made them a doggy door so they could use the garage for their house when it rains or snows. Maybe you should try to get her a dog house and toys to play with outside and leave her outside.

Get a crate. Crate training teaches the dog to hold it until he is let out, plus they have their own safe space to go to if you have people over or the dog feels otherwise overwhelmed.
There are plenty of books on crate training. Its not vry hard.

Hi J.,
I would say do not keep the dog. From experience, you will resent the dog and your family if your heart isn't in it because YOU will be doing all the work! It will become a huge burden and you will be a nag to everyone. Believe me, I went that route!
Hope that helps:)
S.

I've always owned dogs until a year ago and the only reason I don't have any now is that we are in a rental house and not allowed to have one. Reading through everyone's advice, I agree with Donna A that kennel training is a workable solution for you. Buy a kennel just large enough for the dog to stand up and turn around in. Put the dog in the kennel between taking the dog out on a schedule that works for you. The dog needs to be taken out in the morning, just like a human needs to relieve himself in the morning. Feed the dog on a schedule that works for you. (I also agree with the suggestion that it ought to be your husband's responsibility to take the dog out in the morning and perhaps a morning feeding. It can also be his responsibility to let the dog out for a bedtime trip to the yard.)

A lot of folks shy away from the notion of using a kennel because they think it is somehow cruel to the dog. Not so! Our (my grown kids') Labrador was kennel trained and outgrew her first kennel and had to have a larger one later. She went into the kennel whenever all the family was out of the house for work and school, and was brought out and taken outside as soon as someone got home. Then she was allowed to roam the house if she choose. She didn't always choose to stay out, sometimes she went right back into her kennel. It was her "safe place," her "bedroom." We positioned it in a corner of the living room where she could be "in the middle of things" and see us. She'd go to her kennel to rest or to get away from it all. Eventually, after she was completely grown up, we removed the door of the kennel but left it there for a while, then took the kennel away and left her blanket in the same spot where the kennel had been. The dog is now 8 and that's still her preferred place in the house.

Best of Luck

I would be very angery if my husband brought home a dog for the kids without a really good plan on who is responsible for taking care of the different resposibilities involved (besides me). Especially if I was excluded from the final decision!

My dad raised my sister and me: he went to work at 5:30 am so when we got ready for school around 7, one of us was responsible for feeding and watering and the other took the dog for a walk around the block on alternating weeks or days of the week (I can't remember). Taking care of a dog is really good for helping teach kids responsibility, and just because you work from home doesn't mean you're available to babysit the dog.

I think it would be a good idea to call a family meeting or bring it up at dinner- divy out responsibilities for the dog to your 7 and 10 yos and your husband. For house training I agree with the positive reinforcment suggestions made, punishing has been found to be totally ineffective for most behavioral conditioning. Plus if the dog actually was house trained already it may just be fearful after being moved to a new environment. I don't know about crates, but restricting the dog to a smaller area with hard floors rather then carpet will probably help. If it does have an accident on the carpet "Nature's Miracle" is the best stuff for removing pet stains.

If the rest of the family doesn't take-on responsibility, or the dog can't be house trained within an agreed upon amount of time, finding it a new home will probably be best for your family and your sanity- just be honest with the new owners!

Well you could try to crate train the dog. This is when you put the animal in a crate instead of letting rome free. i have never done this so have no idea if it works or not. but in this way you could keep peace with the family and keep your sanity. the dog could be let out when there is time to care for it or when the family comes home, so they can care for it.

when my dog was a puppy on nice days we would have him spend a lot of time outside. and we would kennel him when we couldnt keep an eye on him in the house or needed to get something done. and when the puppy uses the bathroom outside make it a big deal, give her a treat and tell her shes a good dog. hope it helps

Definately the crate training, but also make sure you take treats outside when you take the dog out. Command it to "go potty" or whatever you want to say. When it does, praise to high heaven "good potty, good potty" and give it a treat. We use commands "go potty" and "do your poops". It is sooooooo great to have trained our dog to know what we want it to do! That way we can have him poop before we go on a walk (most days) and we don't have to clean it up off someone else's lawn! GOOD LUCK, and if it just isn't working out have your kids help you find a home for it to be adopted to. Family first!

Bringing home a dog is a HUGE decision. If someone brought a dog to my home, I would return it, and it wouldn't matter whose heart got broken, because the work always falls on the Mom, doesn't it? So if the Mom's not interested, sorry! He wouldn't adopt a child without asking you first, would he?

We need to voluntarily choose which areas of life will be our big ones -- job, kids, husband, pets, religion, hobbies. Just as you couldn't force me to be a jogger or change my religion, you can't force someone to become a dog owner. Stand up to this J.. Your kids will learn that having a dog is a HUGE responsibility, and we can't just go around willy-nilly taking on such projects blindly. It's not any different than your husband buying a boat, with money the family can't afford to spend, without talking to you. A boat is a HUGE committment of time and money. A dog is a HUGE commitment of time and effort/cleanliness.

I'm not anti-dog -- I'm just pro-planning & cooperation.

Absolute must with a young dog or puppy - dog crate/kennel. This is for your sanity, it helps train the dog to potty outside and it's a safe place for him. I also work from home, at the moment have 10 dogs and while all mine are outside of the potty training ages, our kennel is still used for at least one dog at any given time during the day and/or night. My "stud dog" Tate loves his kennel. He frequently puts himself to bed (all hours) as that is where he sleeps at night. The others go in occasionally on their own just because they know they won't be bothered in there. I do daycare and the kids can be a little tough on the dogs at times. lol

Now even if your puppy/dog has a kennel you will still want to be taking it outside to do its business often. Absolutely take him about 15/20 minutes after he has eaten. Take him after he has napped. And if he is awake and playing, take him about every hour to hour and a half. You'll be amazed how quickly your dog will potty train. They will usually avoid relieving themselves in the same place that they sleep which is why it is easier to train them with a small space such as a kennel.

When we have had young pups, they stay in their kennel anytime that we cannot be right there playing with them and/or watching them. If you feel bad about the dog being in the kennel too many hours, you can always attach a dog leash to your belt loop and let the dog be with you at all times. This also helps because you will start to see the signs of needing to relieve himself and you can immediately take him outside to potty. He's also within reach and it is easier to keep him out of trouble.

I hope this information helps. If you need more assistance, feel free to write.

I am a huge fan of kennels! I had a dog that was very difficult to house train and our solution was to put him in his crate when someone couldn't keep an eye on him. He didn't mind the crate and was happy not to get scolded from taking a dump in the house and we were happier too. I have a friend who was going to make her husband find a new home for a dog he brought home (similar situation to yours), and she got a crate for the dog. They still have the dog. Look online for some guidlines to follow when crate training.

I would crate train her. A great and simple book is How To Raise A Puppy You Can Live With. Hpwever you can also look it up on the internet.It works for older dogs as well. I have never heard of crate training not working and it is so easy. Hope this helps...gotta run.

Hi J.,
I didn't read the other posts, but here is just a little comment. Try to step back and realize that you are angry with your husband and not with the dog. The dog is just doing the only thing it knows how to do at the moment. It sounds like you really don't want to give the dog up at this point so express your feelings to your husband and then move on from this. Let him know you are unhappy with the way this all played out and then focus on training your dog to be a part of your family. It will take some effort on your part but if the dog was house trained once it can be again. You have to take it out frequently, and be very consistant. Take her for walks and don't leave her alone in a room at all until she is totally trained. Make her stay by you all day. I have a 2 year old dog that we adopted as a puppy so I just went through the whole training thing, chewing on everything, toileting in the house. I know how hard it is and how angry you can become. But with just a few changes in your daily routine you can get passed this tough time and end up with a sweet friend for your family.
Take care,
B.

Try getting a spray to put in the areas the dog most frequents, the smell will keep them from returning, you can get it at Petsmart. The way I have always potty trained a dog was with a crate. Crate the dog if you leave, have to work, at night and they typically will not mess in their sleeping areas. The dog if had a big adjustment is regressing just like a kid would. It is stress related possibly. Give it some time. Also make sure you let the dog out after it eats for a good thirty minutes. Really praise the dog when it does go outside and make a big deal out of it. Scolding a dog for going inside will make the stress greater. Eventually the dog will get it. Make sure it is spayed or neutered too as that can be a marking of territory.
Hang in there! :) Good luck.

Hi J.,
A dog is a big decision and since hubbie and kids want one, but you're the one at home, here's my suggestion. We brought home an unruly greyhound, if you can imagine. We took her to a specialty trainer who usually trained police dogs and aggressive dogs. The first rule in dog training is letting the dog know that YOU are the pack leader. So, we put our dog on a leash and everywhere I went, in the house and out of the house, the dog was on a leash. This teaches the dog that you are in control of them. Every hour, you take the dog outside and when the dog does something positive, like going pottie, or anything, you always praise them, then give them a taste of a meat treat-something they love. After only a couple of days of this, you will find that you have much more control over the dog, including elimination problems. Hope this helps.

T