11 answers

Dealing with Temper Tantrums

I have an 11 month old little girl who acts like a 2 year old. She has temper tantrums but seems to act that way with me only. I work full time and so i leave her with the babysitter. She is great the whole day and if they say no to something she stops doing it. If i tell her to stop she laughs at me and if i take something from her she complains and throws a fit, to the point where she throws herself backwards. I don't knowhow to deal with it. Please someone help me.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Firstly, i want to thank everyone for the advice. It has been very helpful. I haven't seen much of a change but i'm happy to know that it's part of growing up and i have to deal with it the right way. She still throws her tantrums but now i stay firm. Thank you again.

Featured Answers

The best way to deal with a temper tantrum is to ignore it and to not give into what it is she wants. The minute you give in she realizes that throwing tantrums works to get what she wants. If you ignore it she'll eventually realize it doesn't work and that mom means business. Once you start doing this the tantrums will get worse before they get better but hang in there it will get better. If you are out in public, store, restraunt, etc. Pick her up and leave until she gets control and then try again. As a mom of 4 I've been there but it does get better.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

The best way to deal with a temper tantrum is to ignore it and to not give into what it is she wants. The minute you give in she realizes that throwing tantrums works to get what she wants. If you ignore it she'll eventually realize it doesn't work and that mom means business. Once you start doing this the tantrums will get worse before they get better but hang in there it will get better. If you are out in public, store, restraunt, etc. Pick her up and leave until she gets control and then try again. As a mom of 4 I've been there but it does get better.

1 mom found this helpful

It sounds to me like she isn't seeing you as an authority figure. Make sure that whatever discipline you use you follow through. (ignoring is not a form of discipline)She has to realize sooner or later that YOU are the parent and she is NOT in charge. Pretty much all children will test at one point but if you are consistent they usually get it. It will get better. My husband & I have raised 2 children, one boy and one girl. They are now 16 & 20 and are still a great source of joy in our lives! I hope you get to stay home like you are planning, it's very rewarding! God bless!

I have a 16 month old who started the same way. I had to learn that she is not the one in charge. If she throws a fit because you took something away, ignore it and don't even look at her. She is throwing the tantrum to get your attention and she knows it has worked in the past. Take control and be firm and don't give in or react because that is what she wants. It works for her so she does it. My little one throws herself back also, I just make sure she doesn't hurt herself on the way down and leave her. Make sure to give her lots of praise when she is doing well playing nice or if she gives up something w/o a fight! This has been working on mine and believe me, I know it is hard to ignore a screaming, kicking and completely (in your mind) unreasonable baby. There are sometimes when I just have to sit back, take a deep breath and say to myself, "She is only a baby, she doesn't understand why she does this either.". Unfortunately, she isn't old enough to punish with time-outs because she wouldn't understand. Taking your attention away from her is the best thing you could do. Good luck and keep your chin up, it will get easier as you gain back control.

Try time out. She is not too young to discipline. You have to get a handle on her now or she will keep running over you. She probably wants your attention so try positive reinforcement when she listens to you. Also you should ignore her tantrums. She knows that she will get your attention when she has one. She is using your guilt of leaving her all day against you.

As I was reading this I wondered who knew my story!
You have to be firm. I am an advocate of discipline but kids (especially smart girls)go through it. Practice patience but know when to discipline and when to just breathe. Be sure to ask your mother because when my daughter started throwing tantrums at 8 or 9 months! my mother said I did it to her.
Karma is a LADY!

You already got some good advice but I wanted to add a little tip that I am sure you have already thought of.
My girl did the same thing, sometimes if she were standing, she would fall straight back. I have ceramic tile in my kitchen and I made sure I removed her from that room if I needed to take something away or discipline her. You don't know how many near misses I had when she would throw herself back near that floor so just make sure she's not in areas where she could hurt herself.

Hi M. :)

My daughter is almost 2 and I've just started using this technique on her--but it works so well, I wish I had started doing it much earlier. lol!
When my daughter (or son) throws a tantrum or won't stop whining I warn them first, then banish them to the bathroom. The bathroom is a very boring place and there is no one to hear them so they stop pretty darn quick hehe! When she stops crying, open the door and say something like, "Ok, now. Are you going to stop crying now? You can come out, but you be a good girl ok?" If she starts in again--put her back in. Be consistant and she will soon learn that tantrums are very unrewarding and will stop doing them. :)

I have been watching nanny 911, and I think that she would say that your daughter is not recognizing you as the parent or the boss. she maybe has decided that the babysitter is the boss, since she obviously is listening to her. Nanny 911 would say to talk to her when she does this and explain to her that when she acts out in this way it is time for a time out. perhaps put her in a chair or area that you call time out. let her know that when she starts acting calmly she can re-join you. If you give in to these tantrums you are giving "her" the power and relinquishing it from yourself. you should watch the show, these nanny's are really smart when it comes to handling children's behaviors. She holds nothing back. She lets you know that it is usually the parents mistakes that create the bad behavior in the children. Good luck!

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