A.L. asks from Rincon, GA on March 14, 2009
Dealing with Mommy Being Away to Give Birth
I am pregnant with our second child, due Sept 14. My son will be 3 1/2 then. He has never spent the night away from us, and I am concerned about the time we will be in the hospital. My mother will be staying with him at our house so he still has the comfort of being at home, and I know he will be fine all day. Bed time is another concern all together. When we have gone out to dinner and the Grands kept him, he is always still awake when and very sad when we come home. I'm not REALLY concerned, as I know he will eventually fall asleep, and my mama will bring him to us in the hospital in the morning. But I'm just wondering if there is anyway to help him prepare for what is coming without stressing him out?
K.W. answers from Atlanta on March 15, 2009
When my mom came for our forth child to be born, we had a 13, 3, and 2 year old at home. For the first time we had family around so my hubby could stay with me in the hospital (I had the 13 year old from a previous marriage.) What we did was, my hubby went home every evening and gave them dinner and put them to bed. This didn't disrupt things so much for the little ones. Grammy was there, but Daddy put them to bed, which made things work very well. My girlfriend did the same with her second and third child.
D.P. answers from Atlanta on March 15, 2009
I'd have your mom come over now and put him to bed a couple of nights to give her a practice run and to get them both used to each other.
L.C. answers from Albany on March 14, 2009
Funny, on the way to the hospital to give birth to my second daughter, joking to my husband, "I thought our first night alone together would be someplace a little more romantic". Your boy should be fine with his grandparents. It'll just be a couple of nights while you are at the hospital. One thing we did, for each day our 1st born came to visit the new baby, we gave her a gift from her newborn sister. Alex not only looked forward to seeing her sister, but she was also getting a gift too. If someone was more focused on the baby (i.e. the nurse for check-ups), she'd would have something to keep her occupied and it avoided any opportunity for jealousy. Magna-doodle worked out great - it was a toy that kept her busy and it was a quiet toy. :)
Y.F. answers from Atlanta on March 15, 2009
We've always brought the little ones into the birthing suite with mommy and daddy until the very last moment. They all love the fact that they are there to welcome the new baby brother/sister into this world as we know it and they feel like such a very special part of the " Special Event " and they are not left at home with grandparents. We were all in there for each birth.
I have 13 grandchildren.I have four wonderful adult children and we always made the new birth a fun thing.Of course years ago we weren't allowed to have anyone in the room with us but now it's so wonderful.
PS at two years old....he probably will be excited to know that you had the baby and brought the little one home to BIG BROTHER now. you might want to get him his own little baby doll to see what it's going to be like with new baby. AND NO it won't make him effeminate to hold a doll for a little while.
My two sons are very strong men and they had one. Also my oldest son thought it was great running to get the diaper for me when I had to change the baby, etc. Just make sure you love on him just as much as the baby or he will feel slighted and rejected. ( touchy subject ).
God Bless you momma A....I'll be praying for peace in your little one in the transition and addition to your family.
In Jesus' Name Y. M Fields Austell, GA ###-###-####
C.P. answers from Atlanta on March 14, 2009
I would let your son trying staying with the Grandparents a few nights before you give birth. This will not only help him but I think it will help you not worry all night about how your son is doing,the night you are in the hospital.
J.M. answers from Atlanta on March 15, 2009
If you make it a big ordeal and try to calm is nerves too much than it will become a big deal. I wouldn't mention much about it at all. As you get closer to your due date I would just say oh grandma is coming over to stay the night with you when mommy goes to the hospital to have the baby. End of story. He will be fine. I'm sure your parents will keep him busy and he won't really miss you. One more thing I have 3 kids and my husband never stayed the night in the hospital. He would always go home soon after the baby was born so your son might not have to be without him.