Dealing with Bullying

My children are much younger so I cannot say I've been through this with them but I went through similar situations as a high school student. I am strong in my Christian faith and did/do not like profanity either. I was very involved in my youth group and that alone gave me the strength and character to deal with "bullies." Since your son is going through a similar situation it might comfort him to know that it is normal to be persecuted. In Matthew 5:11-12 Jesus says "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." If your son can continue to be loving towards them when the bully him, they will notice a difference and gain respect for him (as long as the bullying is not physical, in which case the school obviously needs to get involved). I can say that not letting them know it affects you and continuing to show love is not always easy but it works. Your son may find comfort (as I did) in Scripture...1 Peter 4:8, James 1:2-18, Romans 8:28-39 (especially verse 31).

My daughter has been bullied as well. If you and your son has told the teachers about this problem and has done nothing about it, my next step would be to go to the school board. Bullying is not allowed in school anymore. When my daughter was being bullied I told the school if they did not put an end to this matter that I had no problems going to the school board, they fixed the problem and I have never heard anything about the bullies again. I was also bullied when I was a kid it is not a nice experince to go through kids can be so cruel. Your son sounds like a good kid and he should not have to compromise himself just so someone will like him. I hope that your issue will be taken care of.

Your son doesn't compromise his moral character by ignoring bad behavior. He actually adds to the negativity when he confronts the individuals doing the behavior he finds offensive.

He is not the "Bad Language Police" and should not take it upon himself to teach other children how to behave. This only leads to trouble.

He should ignore the children that behave in ways in which he disapproves. This is not a compromise of his morals and is not an attempt to "fit in", as you put it.

It would more be a display of self-control and independence.

As a teacher of 10 year olds. I have to tell you that this is soooooo common at this age, and it only gets worse before it gets better. I should also share that the school is responsible for this behavior! Your school counselor should have a policy on bullying with clearly defined steps and consequences for such behavior. If a child experiences or witnesses bullying, they are expected to report it. If a child is identified as a bully, there are consequences (including education and training on what makes a bully and why it is wrong). If you want your child to grow to have a strong moral character, then you must be prepared for it to be tested as our system/culture does not support such a thing. Unfortunately, that's just the world that we live in. Keep on doing what you are doing as it sounds like you have the conviction and dedication to raise your child properly. In the meantime, I would be up at the school and demanding that this get taken care of. If the counselor doesn't seem to be getting it done, complain to the administration, and so on and so forth. Children will always do what they can get away with and the behaviors will only worsen if left unattended by school personnel. Good luck!

It sounds like he is active enough, and interested in enough subjects, that homeschooling would be a great idea for him. Then, he would have the freedom to explore his interests free from bullying. Plus, his social skills would not be hindered, because he is involved in after school activities. We have homeschooled for almost seven years, and our children are very busy, happy little people. Because they are so active, they have not been forgotten by their public schooling friends. If you would like a glimpse into the lives of some homeschoolers and even unschoolers, you can check out some blogrings on xanga.com. If you check it out, my nickname is faerydusting. I just opened my journal back up, so it's a little bit bare right now, but there are hundreds of mothers who write everyday.

I would confront the teachers, principal, and the kids who are bullies parents. Keep moving up the chain. Go to the district if you have to.

Your son should not be bullied. He has a right to a safe school environment, so by all means, work with the school to get this problem resolved.

On the other hand, your son needs to understand that correcting other students is not his responsibility. Nor does it compromise *his* morals when *other children* do things they shouldn't. Trust me, trying to be the Morality Police for everyone in your presence is not the way to win friends and influence people. It also shouldn't be encouraged for your son (who has no official authority over the other children) to try and do the job of the teacher (who does). This will only lead to the children challenging his authority...and therefore bullying.

The good news is, it seems as if your son knows his own values, is intelligent, and is of good moral character. These other students aren't causing *him* to curse or bully. So if things are handled through the proper channels, everything should be fine.