DD HAS To Be Potty Trained Soon - 20 Mos Old

Stop rushing. She is not ready :-) 20 months is really really young. Put her in onesies if she's ripping diapers off.
We loved the DVD Potty Power for potty training. My girls both trained around 2 1/2 and were fully trained before 3 some time.

Wait until after the surgery and let her body recover from that.. Emotionally, She may even revert to needing more holding and carrying around.. Then start your potty training a week later.

She is going to do great with the surgery, but emotionally she may be a little clingy and with the anesthesia, the entire experience needs to get past her.

Please never rsh a child to meet your expectations.. You must follow her lead.. a child that plays with her BM's in not ready to potty train.

Good Grief! DON'T add the potty training dilemma to her surgery! Poor thing! DON'T use panties! DON'T overload her with drinks! DON'T do this thing!

I get it that you are frustrated, but imagine HER frustration! She doesn't talk yet, she has been in pain in her short life, thus the need for the tubes.

Put her in the new 'pull up' type of diaper that comes off easily & then put larger panties that are tight but still comfy over them & keep an extra eye on her (you will be doing this anyway since the post surgery will be a time for caution).

She will come around to the potty on her own time, give her a break mama!

I have just read over ALL the other responses & I can say I am not a newbie to this dilemma I am 59 & raised 4 & now am raising 3 again, sooooo I AM saying ALL children are different you CANNOT lump them into categories, by saying, '20 months-2yrs-3yrs' each individual child WILL come to potty on THEIR own terms! I have raised children who were COMPLETELY trained by 14mts. all the way to 3yrs.!!!

Your little one has communication problems, she is just as frustrated as you are, she NEEDS the space & time to, 'get it'.

Hoping for a speedy recovery & a wakening to sound for her & your family!

Your daughter is having surgery and this is not the time to potty train her. She's not ready, you need to have her waking up dry, not wearing a diaper or pullups, talking so she can tell you, and she's not ready. Salty foods are not good or the way to potty train a child. They should go because they need to go on regular diets. Why are you rushing this poor child?
EDIT: Remember all kids and people are different and there is no magic age to be potty trained. Some kids were trained early maybe but the average is usually around 2 1/2 unless you want a long process of training.

Please don't do this until after her surgery. It will be too much.

Just a question... aside from ripping off her diaper, what makes you think she's ready to potty train? How else does she indicate her readiness to you? I would suggest using the 3 day method AFTER the surgery if you REALLY think she's ready to do this.

Just some developmental experience speaking, but you will need to find a way for her to communicate her toileting needs to you. I would suggest picture cards. Find a picture of a potty or take a picture of a potty, laminate several copies and have them around the house. Teach her how to use them to indicate to you that she needs to go.

"Readiness" isn't just about not liking a dirty diaper. My 3 month old doesn't like a dirty diaper either, but she's nowhere near ready to toilet train! 20 months is young, but you don't say much about her other readiness signs, so she very well may be!

You can correct the "messing with her mess" behavior using immediate consequences. The solution does not have to be potty training. Just because she's going on the potty doesn't mean she won't use it to decorate your walls!

Good luck in whatever you decide, just please wait until after the surgery!

I never waited for my kids to tell me they had to go, I just took them, every thirty minutes at first, gradually stretching it out over time. They didn't go every time of course, but it became a routine for them. That's why it's called potty TRAINING, you are training them to go. This worked well with all three of my kids (trained between 22 and 26 months.)
Don't let anyone tell you she's not ready, because she clearly is, she just needs help figuring it out. I just don't get why so many parents keep their kids in diapers for so long (apart from medical/developmental reasons) it's so nasty :(
Good luck!!!

I would not introduce a big change (new bed, no bottle, potty training) during another big event (the surgery). I would allow the child the time to deal with each thing.

I'm not sure what the push is. Can you explain? Why does she NEED to be trained right now? It is common for 2s to be trained, but not UN common for them to need more time. If she cannot yet communicate her needs then maybe she's not ready. Each child is different. DD trained faster than SD, but she was still 3. Friend's son was trained by 2.5. Another friend's son not til 3.5. There's a wide range of normal. This applies to ALL kid behavior. Even if the others trained early, this child may have her own timetable.

Does she not talk at all or does she not have the skills to communicate pottying? If she doesn't talk at all and is nearly 2, I'd address that before trying to get her on the potty.

ETA: I would teach her signs, like "diaper" or "potty". Even if she can't hear well, she can learn to communicate that way. I would also do things like put a strip of tape around her diaper or put her in a onesie if the issue is that she can take it off but makes a mess. If she doesn't like it, but has to wait for you, then she may be inspired to toilet in the potty.

In my own experience....
She is awfully young. Other signs, for me, that she would be ready. She wakes up from her nap and bed dry and clean. She tries to get you BEFORE she is wet or dirty. It would sure be nice if she could take on and off her pants. I watched a friend of mine struggle for a YEAR with her son and potty training because she started too young. It was awful and really made her angry and resentful and made him angry and resentful as well.
I have only potty trained three children. Two boys (at exactly 3 years old) and one little girl(at exactly 2). The boys were trained within 3 days, day and night, about 5 accidents total. The little girl took a little longer, about 1 week, but day and night trained as well.
I don't understand why you say she HAS to be trained before her surgery. IMHO it will backfire on you. She may very well "get it", but what happens with a lot of children is that once something "traumatic(like surgery)" happens they regress.
I truly think that you may want to hold off. BUT, you know your daughter best. If you are going to go for it then may I suggest NOT giving her a bunch of salty food. Just keep feeding her normal.
L.

This age is pretty young to even try. I don't think it would hurt to try it. But I would not be too disappointed if she doesn't get it until she's a lot closer to 3.

I think it's possible but not very likely it will happen in one day and at this young age. But it cannot hurt to try.

Oh, and all kids go through this stage. Most moms put a onsie or overalls on them so they can't get their diaper off.

Why don't you plan to start IF she is feeling ok by Saturday. If she is not back to her "normal self" and over any tubes associated trauma, then wait. The next weekend, decide if she seems back to normal then, and if so, go for it.

I don't think she is too young, but you are right to be concerned that she might be overwhelmed with the tubes stuff still. But the thing is, you don't have to decide right now (Tuesday) about what you will do on Saturday. :)

ETA: and if you think she is ready, why wait until some later age? I love how so many folks defend NOT training because: they will train when they are ready. But if she is ready now, they want you to wait because she is "too young". LOL My daughter was trained before her 2nd birthday because she was ready! I also wonder often, if some of the "late training" kiddos WERE ready much earlier, but their family didn't quite recognize that they were ready and so missed a prime window of opportunity. I don't think kids today have changed all that much from the toddlers of my generation. And we were ALL potty trained before age 3, most by age 2, if I understand things correctly. There weren't disposable diapers and moms wanted us trained, so we were. Successfully. :)

If you do not mind cleaning up the messes after her and if you can remain calm if she pees or poops her pants for the 5th time in a 2 hour period then by all means go ahead and start her on panties. I have a friend whose girl was out of diapers before her 2nd birthday. It required her to watch her like a hawk and it was about three months of cleaning up daily pee (mostly) accidents - but she didn't mind and was super patient and it worked just fine.

Me personally, especially with having DD in daycare and working full time, I waited until she was READY at 2.5 years. We tossed the diapers one day and by the next day we were out and about without a diaper.
I don't think you can expect it to be that fast for a 20 mo old, but if you have the patience and time - I don't see that it would do harm to try.

Normally I fully support and encourage early training with Lora Jensens 3 day potty training method, at least as a strong base for training. I have used it for years with my home daycare. But the surgery part I am not sue about.

Getting parents on board and doing the 3 or 4 days weekend at home, with all the preparation and really really following it, then I support the outcomes at daycare. Prep is getting house cleaned if need be, shopping and planning to NOT leave the house during the "siege". All focus on the child every single second...literally. Wearing undies and a tshirt. Ready to clean up messes and following her cures.

With many of mine it was body language and a whine noise well well before a word came into play. I even had one trained (as per moms starting it) with the sign language sign for toilet (the letter t being sorta shook about).

My youngest was a 22 mos old girl and usually all are trained by 28 mos latest. All successfully using this method as a base and NO pull ups. I hate those things. Just saying.

Best of luck with whatever you decide, and I hope surgery goes great!

"Being ready" in terms of not liking to be wet/poopy is not the same thing as "being ready" in terms of getting to the toilet on time, getting on it, peeing/pooping in it. Not to mention she is not ready to clean herself.

And as for hating being dirty -- the fact she is .so interested in playing with her poop indicates to me that she is not bothered by being dirty elsewhere, and not yet feeling like poop is something to get rid of. That's not a sign of readiness, it's the opposite.

It sounds like you have expectations based on what your other two children did. She isn't them, she shouldn't be held to the same "schedule" that they set for themselves, and the additional issues with her hearing and talking make this more complicated for both of you. Add to that the fact she is 20 months -- not even two yet -- and many children do not get fully trained until three (or later in some cases).

Please do not push her so hard. Why does she "have" to be potty trained so soon? Because she's ripping off her messy diapers? Granted, that's a big motivator for you but not necessarily for her.

Keep doing what you are doing, keep getting her to the potty by the clock (sit her on it at regular intervals, rather than asking "do you need to go") -- that helps a lot since at her age they don't always tell you when they need to go, but have a better chance of going in the potty if they are put on it like clockwork. She may train soon but if she does not, please don't press her too hard or it may become a power struggle between you and then it will take much longer.

If the surgery goes smoothly I think kids with tubes recover really quick. So it might be okay to start this weekend. If she seems to be feeling off base wait. Don't worry about the naysayers who will tell you she's too young. You already know she isn't. GL! I remember when my youngest potty trained, it was awesomeness :)
ETA- my kids potty trianed fully by, 24, 21, and 22 months. Most people think 20 months is too young to start, it isn't. In my experience younger toddlers are a it less stubborn and less attached to diapers.

I'd wait. Keep taking her to the toilet but don't do a boot camp. she doesn't need that on top of surgery.

My first played with poop. Nightmare, let me tell you. She was fully trained by 21 months.

My son didn't tell me he had to go when he started training, he just started taking himself, then, a few months later, he'd say 'pee pee.' he was 21 months.

Keep telling her where her pee and poop go, take her to the potty, and let her figure it out.

Most important, stay calm and be patient! You knw they respond better when we are calm.

Whatever you do, don't listen to the 'too young' crowd. Before the stubborn twos hit, it is always easier to potty train. The earlier, the better.

I would put her in real underwear and train. We just put my son in underwear and took him to the bathroom whenever he woke up, after he ate and every time we noticed he had not been in a couple of hours. He was 25 months old and had ZERO signs of 'potty readiness'. He had been dry in the morning maybe once, didn't care if he peed or pooped in his diapers, had no obvious interest in the bathroom (of course, being perfectly normal, previously childless adults - we didn't make a big fuss about the bathroom the way most parents seem to), never asked for a diaper and never asked to go to the bathroom. He had frequent accidents for 3-4 days, a few more over the week, two more over the next month and two more over the next 6 months. So - I would say - trained in a week. We did not do stickers, rewards or excessive praise.

The average child in the US was trained (done, fully trained, not just started) at 18 months prior to the advent of disposable diapers. One half of the world's children are trained today by 12 months of age. Potty readiness is a completely American invention that as far as I can see only benefits the companies that make disposable diapers.

I would say - just go for it. But, I would probably wait until she is fully recovered from her surgery.

Not liking to be wet/dirty does not equal ready. Also being capable does not equal being ready.

I have 8. My first was 3 when trained, communication was a problem. The middle 6 all done at their 2nd birthday. The last was 2 1/2, no where near read, but completely capable. They have to want to do it as much as you want them to.

If you ar going to go forward and give it a try wait till after the tubes are placed
They need to be able to pull their undies up and down on their own, and they need to be self motivated to want to do it.

One key thing that was present in all of my kids was an almost need to be independent. For every kid that is different and happens at different ages. As the baby of the family the youngest don't always feel that need as quickly as the first and second born.

Then there is the communication, sign might help with that, but I didn't have good success cause with my oldest unless I was on him I would miss some of the signs.

I would also wait till after the surgery, maybe communication will be better. Plus surgery screws up many routines in little ones, might as well wait till it can be your main focus.

My daughter was trained at 18 months as well, so yes, go for it once she's on the road to feeling better ツ I'd wait until at least the following week, possibly after she has her first follow-up doctor visit, just to make sure she's healing well so you know physically it won't put a strain on her.

The signs are there, and I wouldn't be concerned that she can't communicate with you that she needs to go, my guy has always been very verbal but really never shared he had to go, just went, very independent. Even though SHE isn't talking, she is still capable of understanding.

When you begin training put her in undies (I prefer cloth trainers at first as they're a little thicker) and take her to sit on the potty every 15-20 minutes until you know her personal schedule of needing to go. You'll eventually catch her needing to go when you take her and she'll start to make the connection. Also let her see you and her sister going so she sees this is what you do on the potty, kids learn from modeling as well as being told.

I know things are messy (literally), but with surgery right around the corner, this little one sounds like she has a LOT on her plate. At least, wait until she's recovered. When she has, you can give her a new potty (or, just stickers or a ribbon for the existing potty) as a post-surgery present.

Then, if you're determined to go for it, a combination of sign language and no-pants-time is probably your best bet.

You can START potty training but dont expect it to be completed in a few days. Figure out a hand signal/sign to associate with potty so she can communicate without words. Let her know with upset face and stern tone that it is NOT OK to mess with her poop! Work on that problem! Again you can start but dont put too much pressure to be perfectly potty trained immediately

If you can, let her run naked/bottomless while giving her extra liquid. We have potties both upstairs and downstairs so our girls can make it to the potty in time - put them someplace accessible. A friend had a potty in her living room for a while, while she was potty training her kids because they didnt want to take the time to go. Also, are you putting her on the potty when the older kids go?

Yes, it's possible. Teach her the sign language for potty. I can't remember what it is. My son was that age and doing well with the potty and doing the same thing your daughter is. Good luck!

I would go slowly until after the surgery. Have her sit on the potty at certain times of the day (for pooping) and have her sit once an hour for pee. Make sure you have some kind of reward for her if she does go in the potty. Don't push her too much or you may end up with control issues. I am sure once she can hear better it will be a breeze. You may also ask your older children to help out since the younger ones always want to be like the older siblings.

I was lucky that my daughter never had the urge to play with her poop. Thank goodness because my hubby just doesn't have the stomach for anything like that.