DD Constantly Asks If I Love Her. Is This a Phase or Something Else?

Yes, kids like to question but some questions get rather annoying after a while. Especially when it feels like she should have this one down pat. Try to reverse it on her. Ask her do you love mommy? Do you love daddy? Do i love you? Maybe you will find teh root of the question. It could be she simply is trying to understand what love really is. It can be confusing.... I love you, i love pizza, i love this tv show, oh i love those shoes. This is where you can begin to teach her the differences. That you can use actions also. Does mommy show you she loves you? She is just probably trying to work it all out.

R.,
As far as I know this is not a normal phase, but really I have no idea what "normal" is. This never happened with my kids, but I can guess. Obviously your 4 your old needs to feel secure. Every child is different. Who knows why this one is feeling insecure, but at least she is verbalizing it so that you have a heads up. Do your best to reassure her, try not to be "mad" when you discipline her. Try to sound empathetic instead. I believe in Love and Logic (a book you can get at the library). See how it goes for a month. If it doesn't get better I'd talk to the pediatrician.

AS you are telling her that you will always love her, ask her why she is concerned, and why would she not think you did. IF she mentions the time out, just say I love you, just don't like some of your actions, there is a differencce. But she may have some fear from some program she watched or something she heard that you have no idea, so maybe she will tell you why. If she doesn't know , then just keep reassuring her, and I feel it will go away in time.

smile R. its okay my 3 year old does that too and she even says you dont love me anymore cause we want listen to her or something i have 6 kids and kids go thru this phase just keep doing what your doing and always let her know that you love her when she says that like your doing its just kids

My 3 yr old asks us "Are you happy?" all the time. I think if she sees us looking worried, stressed or upset she reads our faces & then asks us. We tell her yes & hug or comfort her. It makes me realize that I must have had a frown or something on my face & I try to readjust my attitude. When my 14 yr old was around that age she used to ask "You love me?" & then she would go down the line asking if the whole family loved her. It was a phase with the 14 yr old so I'm sure it is with my 3 yr old also.
I think this is just a little kids way of doing a reality check.

I went through this with my youngest daughter. It was just temporary and she finally grew out of it. I was glad. Because it seemed like I was repeating myself over and over to her about loving her. Good luck!

Maybe she just needs to hear it more often. I tell my son "I love you" ALL the time. Pretty much everytime he leaves the room that I am in. So, he knows it and hears it. BUT, on the flip side, when he was 4, he went through a phase of asking me (A LOT) if I was "proud" of him. He asked all the time and for a while, I said yes. Finally, I was sick and tired of it and I told him that I was proud of him, but I didn't want him to ask anymore. I had to repeat that 2 - 3 times and he finally quit asking.

What might sound like insecurity to a Mommy could just be a game to your 4 year old. She probably receives extra hugs and praise everytime she asks you if you love her, and that would prompt anybody to ask and ask and ask again. Bottom line, she's being raised by loving parents so she will be just fine, in fact, she sounds pretty darn smart to me!

My son did this for a short time. When he got in trouble he would think it meant I no longer loved him. I started telling him that even when he makes bad choices and goes to time out that I still love him a lot. That I just didn't like the bad choice he made. I would talk to him about this everytime he brought it up. Now he understands I am upset with the choice but I still love him.

Hi R., I think this is just a stage. Make sure she knows that no matter what she does or says you will always love her. Then I suggest making the question into a game. Every time she says Do you love me, answer her with something silly like I love you more than peanut butter sandwiches, I love you more than playing at the park, or I love you more than finger paints. LOL Just make it funny and switch it up every time, maybe you can even ask her if she loves you some times to see what she says. As you play this game, maybe you can eventually change her do you love me phrase to how much do you love me.

It could be a phase. Maybe ask her why she asks all the time. I know sometimes I just like to hear itm it makes me feel good. I tell my son I love him all the time too. he is 3 and gets annoyed, but tells me he loves me too.
Good luck