Daycare Nightmare

Updated on December 08, 2008
S.R. asks from Corona, CA
8 answers

Hi I took my 3 year old to a new daycare that a friend recommended, my child freaked out when we got there (like any child in a new place) he got angry and started hitting me,I had never seen him react like this! The daycare woman refused to take him and said she was sorry but I couldn't leave him there and proceeded with walking me out of her home!! I was literally there for 5 min!!
My queation is has any ne experienced this and was this rude or am I just new to this????

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J.W.

answers from San Diego on

I expect she has parameters for accepting a child, has had trouble in the past and was a little hasty in making a judgement. Move on, find another place.

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N.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

where do you live my daycare is wonderful and has an opening?

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B.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

oh my! as a day care provider I must say I'm shocked at her reaction. A good rule of thumb, visit the day care and see if you like it. You can go with or without the child at first then with the child the 2nd time if you can spare the time to go twice. Always try to bring your littel ones at elast once . You can read them pretty good as to if they are comfortable or not and will be happy, etc. It is h*** o* the little ones when they have to change day caes but they are also very in tune with "vibes". It may be a blessing in disguise he reacted this way and she was so rude to you.

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

As a daycare provider myself usually I conduct an interview with the family. At this time I will be able to see the childs interactions and behavior. Now on the first day of drop off is much different because now mommie is leaving. Depending on the age I do expect certain things to happen. Usually if the child is under 6 months there are not many issues. If they are around age 1 - 2 there is usually crying because they are more aware and to them I am a stranger. This usually happens for about one week and then the child should start building trust. Now age 3 is the toughest stage. I make sure when I take in a 3 year old I always have either my 1 assistant or both there that day so I can mainly focus on the new child. Now personally I have not had too many 3 year olds start they are always birth to 6 months or school age. I have to say that recently there has been a lot of children with behavior problems that can easily be corrected, but parents are so lacking disipline nowadays that as a provider it is hard to control a child with no consequences. This is what is happening to our teachers in schools.
At age 3 if a child has no disipline they can really be a danger. Not to say your child has a behavior problem, but as providers we are very restricted on what we can do and thats how it should be. With that said a lot of providers are turning away children that show any signs of aggression because they are just don't want to deal with it. I believe she should have handled it a little different, but it is her business and she has the right.

Good luck.

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M.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

As a daycare provider I always recommend a couple of visits for the child before they have to be left at daycare if time permits. Have yourself and your child visit first and let him play all the fun things he will be doing in daycare and show him everything. Then I have mom bring the child back while the children are here and mom stays. Then the child is left a few hours alone. Every vist we tell the child that this will be their school/or if too young to do preschool where they will come to play while parents work. Sometimes kids cry I always tell parents to say goodbye never sneak out, and they can call from the corner the child always stops crying. That is more for the parent then the child because mom or dad leave feeling horrible all day and their child has been having a great day 2 seconds after they left. If this provider did not have the patience to work with a fussy child you may not want her with your child. That is the #1 rule you have to have patience and love children and what you do. Always trust your gut and don't second guess yourself. Best of luck in finding something that works for you and you child.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Rude might not be the right word, I doubt her intention was to be rude. My guess would be she lacks experience/patience in childcare/child developement. But this is a GREAT sign for you actually! I know it was tough on you but do you want to leave your son w/someone who can't handle a situation like this? At the least, she should have been able to give you some pointers/tips rather than just scoot you out the door. Move on to place #2. I'd suggest maybe looking in to a preschool rather than a daycare

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

S., you don't want that sorry daycare woman caring for your child if she can't handle the challenges of kids and their mishaps!!!! This was rude and horrible! He would have more than likely stopped crying and bonded with her by the end of the week or at most 2 weeks. You will just have to interview them and ask about their policies. I hope you are not stuck without child care now. I have watched many new kids in the day care cry for 2 weeks (or less) and then they are over it and playing with the other kids. Now when I walk in to pick up, these kids run up to me, hug me, pretend I am their mom, etc. I am sorry to hear this happened to the two of you, this doesn't help him.

And, no 3 year olds hitting is not signs you have a problem child. Children go through a hitting stage because they are still not able to communicate effectively in a verbal manner. This is the perfect time to constantly remind them to use their words and talk to you rather than hitting.

At age 3, why don't you consider a preschool or day care rather than a home daycare. I chose a home day care for my little girls early years and by nearly age 2 I placed her in a preschool. They have all the children sectioned off by age groups and move them into their groups once they master certain tasks. My little girl is in her second year of this preschool and is so proud when she moves up. Give some o them a shot too.

C.

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S.W.

answers from San Diego on

This was definitely unprofessional and in appropriate behavior by the day care provider. Most kids have adjustment and/or separation anxiety when starting a daycare program, especially if separation from mommy is new to them. I have had my son in two different home day care and both times he got upset in the morning for the first week or so. Even now that he is accustomed, if we vacation or his routine is upset, his anxiety starts again. In a way, its lucky that you found out early that this woman does not have the tolerance and patience to take care of toddlers. My son is almost 3 and sometimes hits my husband and I if he is very upset. Its a common stage and we try to curb it as best we can. Keep in mind that separation anxiety is very real and scary for a child this age, they don't understand and will sometimes behave very erratically. You might want to hang out for a bit for the first few days then leave after your son gets busy playing. I sometimes stand outside after I leave and my son always calms down pretty quickly.

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