Daycare Help - San Diego,CA

You didn't mention her age, but if she is going to be 3 or 4, I would consider enrolling her a good quality preschool program and see if you can get the baby sitter to take her and/or pick her up and still have her the rest of the time that she needs the care. Most preschools are 2 or 3 days a week, for either the morning or the afternoon, and that should give her a good start for getting ready for kindergarten.

Trust no one-if she goes to daycare, she will be sick all the time and pick up bad habits that will do nothing for her.

I had my kids at daycare as I couldn't find a stay at home mom who wanted to baby sit. I ahd a very expensive nanny for the first year when i was making a ton of money. But that was only for the first year.

I ended up with a daycare that I loved (then it changed hands and I followed the teachers to another daycare for my second kid). BUT - there are definite benefits to a babysitter over a daycare. Sure, kids get the value of socialization and learning (my kids were at Montessori schools which gave them both a good start) but they lose out on the value of being special. They lose in that they have to learn to "fight for their rights" at such a young age. I don't mean literally fight - but when a child is at home with mom he's special and loved in a way that isn't possible in a daycare - all kids ahve to be treated the same.

Another benefits is that when the child is sick you still have the babysitter available. My SIL takes care of a pre-schooler that she's had since he was an infant - and he comes regardless of his health. He gets lots of socialization at library programs, parks & when my nieces come home from school. He's an only child but has the benefit of "older sisters" who love him in a way that he'd never get from daycare.

If it's possible I would definintely keep him with a babysitter as long as they're not watching soaps all day.

I have to agree with Robin on the picking up bad habits. Even the kiddos attending the most expensive and "best" childcare facilities pick up the nastiest language and ideas!!

Does your daughter have the chance to go to the park and library, etc. with her provider? Places like that offer the interaction. I also think if you could find a half day pre-school a couple days a week for the provider to take her to that would be beneficial.

M

Personally, I think if you have a sitter you love and trust, stick with it. That's a combination that can be hard to find. Instead, can you see if the sitter would take her out more and put her in more social situations like the park or classes at your local library? Maybe find some workbooks or activities they can do together to encourage learning? With more kids around she will not be getting the one-on-one personal attention you claim to love. Good luck.

In my opinion, you should keep her with the babysitter you're with! Does she go out to the park, library, etc. to interact with other children? I am a SAHM so my two never went to daycare and they did just fine when they went to Kindergarten - I had gotten them involved with kids by going to the park, library programs, etc. Even Barnes & Noble book store had a little reading time they loved going to.

As for learning new things - I was always "teaching" my kids new things and they didn't even realize they were learning! We would play games and do all kinds of stuff. They would "help" me with everything; and no question ever went unanswered. When they got to Kindergarten, they were always right on track, if not ahead, of the other kids.

Oh, and now...they're both Straight A Honors High School Students!! Needless to say, I am VERY proud of them - especially because THEY push themselves and WANT to succeed; I just got them started!!!

Good luck!!

A national non-profit agency called "Child Care Aware" has child care resource and referral services. There are typically multiple sites within a state so they can serve a local community region. They also are the ones who host training for the child care providers.
The resource and referral service allows you to talk to a person (sometimes for a small fee) about what you want - price, location, curriculum, no curriculum, etc. and they find 5 - 7 licensed or registered facilities that have room for your child and then you can go tour them. If you ask, they can also provide you with sheets and checklists of what to ask and how to tell if a child care center or in-home care is quality per development and child-friendly factors.
here is a link to look up your child care resource and referral center. the zip code search is on the right of the page.
http://childcareaware.org/parents-and-guardians

Good luck!

How old is she?

That will really shape everyone's answer. Regardless, I am a believer in our mommy instincts and if they are telling you it is time to put her in a bigger class setting, it's probably a good idea.
Good luck

Added - R., thanks for adding her age.
I'd wait if I were you to add her to a daycare or MMO situation. How about if your sitter took her to a little kiddies' class? Look around for something like that. Playdates are another idea. At 18 months old, I don't think it would be as helpful as it would be if you wait a year or so. At 3, she should be in a half day program several times a week.

Original:
How old is she, R.? It would have helped me to know in order to answer this.

One thing to do is research daycare center costs. Calculate the difference in the cost of the center and your lady. I'll bet the center is more expensive.

Then find a mother's morning out program for 2 mornings a week, near the babysitter's house. (Maybe a church.) If adding the cost of the MMO isn't too much more than a daycare center, perhaps you should consider asking the babysitter to take her to MMO and picking her up. That way you can have your cake and eat it too - the woman you trust who she knows so well, AND interaction with kids and learning new things.

Hope this helps,
Dawn

I think socialization is better learned with adult supervision. We have an only child so we put her in M.'s Day Out and preschool believing she needed it. I regret not waiting until at least age 4/preK to send her. She was overwhelmed and other kids, including me, transistioned fine to K without any prep.

At 18 months, DD stayed home with me. We did library time and are part of a Meet Up group, but I wouldn't be as concerned with socialization and learning at this stage as much as I would be if she were 4. When she is older, I'd look into preschool if you feel that would benefit her. Does the sitter take her anywhere? To the park? I think that 18 months is too young to worry about learning things like ABCs and the sitter should be able to teach her things like colors and shapes and whatever just by normal interactions. "Look, there's a tree. It has green leaves."

I would ask around to friends. We've found two awesome daycares, one in home and one center, that way. The best part was that we knew for sure they were good places because our friends had had such good experiences there.

There are tons of children that do not go to daycare. I really don't think that your daughter is missing out on anything by staying with a private sitter. My son stayed with a private. I put him in a daycare center at 3.5 to get him ready for pre K... just in case he had missed something. He really didn't. Whenever he was with the sitter or home with me, we went places where there were other children he could interact with and I taught manners and courtesy at home. If anything, whenever he started daycare, I REALLY did not like some of the little learned behaviors that he was coming home and demonstrating. I your baby can get the one on one care, then let her have it. Children that age learn what they see. So there's really no point in exposing to some other children's negative behaviors if you don't have to. Whenever she gets older, she will have learned what is appropriate and what isn't.

I also love what the NY Mom said.

I don't know anyone in the San Diego area but when I needed Daycare I asked everyone I knew who had kids. Then I was talking to a friend who didn't have kids and it turns out that her neighbor (and friend for over 10 years) had an in home daycare. It worked out for me because I didn't have to worry about leaving my son with a complete stranger since my friend knew them. So first ask everyone you know even if they don't have kids. All day cares including home day care have to be registered with the state. The state probably has a website. Check local churches and synagogues - they tend to be less expensive than other places. Finally check with the local Universities and Colleges. Many of them have child development programs and they probably have recommendations for day care centers in the area.

Good luck!

No - leave her where she is. She can do playdates on occasion, she can see other kids at the park, at the mall. But she needs all the one-on-one she is getting, all the love and attention. She's not with you, her mother, but is with someone who cares for her well - don't just change for the sake of change. And what do you think she's going to learn from other 18 month olds? Buy her some new educational toys, have the babysitter take her to the zoo, the aquarium, to the library for story time - but don't yank her away from love and care so she can interact with other kids - the time will come soon enough when she will be in pre-school, in kindergarten, in school, with tons of other kids. She will only grow and flourish when she is secure - the best way to be secure is to know you are loved and well taken care of and that your caregiver has your back!
Good luck!

I put my son in an in home day care for maybe 8 hours a week when he was that age. He has pretty much always gone to an in home daycare (2 different ones over the last 3 years, he is 4 now), with just a couple of other kids, and has always had another kid close to his age there. I love it because I am friends with his most recent caregiver, and he is best friends with her little boy, and they now go to preschool together. I think the interaction is important, and useful for learning things like potty training, and if your child is a social butterfly, which mine is, they want to be around other kids. We are now doing preschool, which I also think is so worth it. He comes home with great stories and new things he has learned that he can share, and he still gets to spend 7 hours, 2 times a week, with his best friend.