24 answers

Daycare During a Maternity Leave

I have a friend who had a baby a few weeks back. I watch her older child full time while she is at work. She is now home on her maternity leave and has decided to still send the older child to daycare full time. I do not understand why she would not want the older sibling to be home. Dad has also taken off several weeks, so he is home as well. Please help me understand why someone would send their child to daycare,all day five days a week,if they are going to be home. I am not trying to judge her, I just do not understand why she would want to send her kid to my house if she is going to be home??? Like I said, I am not trying to be mean. I am trying real hard not to feel like I am being taken advantage off (even though I am being paid) and trying to see it from her eyes

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So What Happened?™

Thanks for all of your responses. Maybe Taken advantage off is the wrong term, since I am being paid. I can see why she may want to send her to daycare, but still do not get the five full days a week thing. I was really hoping she would take some time off from daycare during moms maternity leave. My last child will be going to school full time next year. I was looking forward to spending some alone time with her before she starts camp full time, then school full time. Maybe, disappointed is a better way to describe why I am a bit upset.

Featured Answers

Please give her plenty of notice that you will not be able to care for her child so she can make alternative arrangements for day care.
I certainly would not like my child to be cared for by someone that is supposed to be professional and would write the above post.
You are supposed to be providing a service that you get paid for. If you no longer want to provide this service then she needs to be told.
B.

6 moms found this helpful

First things that cross my mind are:
1. She keeping the older one's routine consistent
2. One-on-one bonding time w/newborn
3. Remember how HARD it is to have a newborn?

Why on earth would you feel like you're being "taken advantage of"? You're being paid, right?

5 moms found this helpful

I plan to send my toddler to daycare when my next arrives. I want that alone time with the new baby - just like I had with my first. Also - I want to be able to rest when the baby sleeps - if my toddler was here - I would get no rest and he would be out of his routine and not get the same sort of stimulation he gets at daycare. AND - why would you feel taken advantage of if you were getting paid?

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Well there are two very good reasons -One, because she has a brand new baby she's trying to get used to and bond with. I would have LOVED for my oldest to be in daycare 5 days a week when my youngest was born! Maybe I would have gotten a little sleep here and there! Two -adding a new sibling is a BIG adjustment for children. If she further disrupts her oldest child's routine by taking the child out of daycare for what -a week? two weeks? all six or twelve weeks? and then putting the child back into daycare -you have another big disruption and adjustment for that older child.

I'm not trying to be mean either, but I don't understand why you're so concerned. You are paid by these people, so why would you want to lose that money for any length of time? How on earth are you being taken advantage of?

6 moms found this helpful

Please give her plenty of notice that you will not be able to care for her child so she can make alternative arrangements for day care.
I certainly would not like my child to be cared for by someone that is supposed to be professional and would write the above post.
You are supposed to be providing a service that you get paid for. If you no longer want to provide this service then she needs to be told.
B.

6 moms found this helpful

First things that cross my mind are:
1. She keeping the older one's routine consistent
2. One-on-one bonding time w/newborn
3. Remember how HARD it is to have a newborn?

Why on earth would you feel like you're being "taken advantage of"? You're being paid, right?

5 moms found this helpful

I plan to send my toddler to daycare when my next arrives. I want that alone time with the new baby - just like I had with my first. Also - I want to be able to rest when the baby sleeps - if my toddler was here - I would get no rest and he would be out of his routine and not get the same sort of stimulation he gets at daycare. AND - why would you feel taken advantage of if you were getting paid?

5 moms found this helpful

She probably wants to spend one on one time with her newborn. I'm not sure why it matters if she is paying you for your services. Why would it be taking advantage of you if she's paying you?

5 moms found this helpful

I sent my child to daycare while I was on maternity leave. This gave me time to bond with my daughter. And my son wanted to continue to go to daycare. My husband and I agreed it's important to maintain the normalcy of our routine during this time. Occasionally, he would want to stay home, so I let him. But mainly it was his choice!
I am not trying to sound mean, either. However, you are being paid. If you view watching her child as a favor and not a job, then perhaps you shouldn't watch her child anymore. I can almost guarantee, that since she is paying you, that she views it this way.

4 moms found this helpful

When we have our next I plan to continue sending our daughter to preschool. It's going to be a huge adjustment adding a new addition to our family that I think it's best to keep as much as "normal" as usually. My daughter is very sensitive to change so I know this will be helpful for her.

4 moms found this helpful

When I had my 2nd child.... my Daughter started attending Preschool. SHE also WANTED to go. She was really happy going to Preschool. Loved it.
It ALSO gave me time, just with my baby and I had had a c-section.

For me, this was a time that my Daughter had as HER own time too, interacting with kids her own age and having her own thing and routine. Not just being around me/new baby... and lost in the shuffle. It gave her time too... to be around friends and learning. Which she LOVED. I was not casting her off.... or banishing her. It was for her benefit too. Again, my daughter LOVED Preschool. I am a SAHM, and home all day. But it gave me time just with my 2nd born and time for my daughter to have positive interaction with others her own age... not just being around a tired M. and crying baby all day. It was an outlet for her too.

All around, it was a real positive thing. My daughter was happy. Not cooped up all day, having to revolve around a new baby.

My 2nd born, also had bad Jaundice after he came home, and for 2 weeks, around the clock, he had to be under the blue-light treatment at home. We could not go anywhere. I could only remove him from the lights, for nursing. It was arduous. And I had to take him to the Doctor and hospital about every other day. Meanwhile, my daughter was at her Preschool.... LOVING her time there. And when she was there, I would nap when my baby son napped. SO, by the time she came home (she was at Preschool everyday for half-days), I was rested. And then spent time with her. Quality time. She KNEW that.

Each situation is different. A Mom should not be critiqued... for having the eldest child at Daycare or Preschool, while a new baby is now in the home.

all the best,
Susan

4 moms found this helpful

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