Daugthers Weight Problems

You can not make her be motivated to loose weight. Just keep encouraging her in a loving way. Ask her if she wants to go for a walk with you to encourage exercise. Continue to have healthy habits yourself and be a include her in your successes. Make sure that she knows you love her no matter what she looks like. Most of the people that I have know who are majorly over weight have emotional issues that are tied to their eating habits. I'm sure that all the normal teenager issues do not help with that. Try to find the reasons behind the problem instead of addressing just the weight or she will always struggle with it.

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Good Evening A.,

It looks like you've gotten some good thoughts already. I too think that a size 14 isn't that big of deal. But you didn't say how tall your daughter was. I'm 5' 7" and would love to get back to a 14! But if she's just a few inches shorter that could make a difference in the way she looks and feels.
I also believe that we as a society focus WAY too much on a slim body instead of overall health. Being of normal weight does not mean you are healthy. You (the family) may be eating fairly healthy watching fats/calories/points but how many chemicals are you ingesting?
This is what I do. Check out www.YourKitchenCoach.net What I tell people is that I don't worry so much about the carbs or calories but the chemicals. Start reading labels. MSG is a big deal and actually what is used to make lab rats fat so they can do obesity studies. But the food manufacturers have figured out that we know what MSG is AND the government helps them and says that if it is less than 95% (I can't remember the exact percentage but it's something like that) pure MSG it can be labeled as "yeast extract" and anything that says "autolyzed" or "hydrolyzed" is a form of MSG.
Also High Fructose Corn Syrup is NOT natural, I don't care what the commercials say! Think about it. . . HFCS is in soooo many inexpensive foods that to make the quantity needed to use in all those products most comes from genetically modified corn. AND a recent discovery, overshadowed by the bad peanut butter, is that many HFCS samples are tainted with mercury! Google "risks and dangers of mercury" and just read!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it may not be as easy as just watching her fat intake or calories. There is a lot of evidence out there that says all these man made chemicals in our food like products are not natural to us and our bodies don't know how to handle them. The best is just get back to basics, fresh whole foods. Believe me, Weight Watchers is a fantastic program and in my opinion one of the very few that actually deals in real life. But my issue with WW is that as long as they can assign a point value to it and you can count it your good. And that most WW leaders have little to no actual training in nutrition but were successful with their weight loss program. I do not believe that artificial sweeteners are safe and telling me to microwave my vegetables in a plastic bag is wrong on so many levels. Both taught and believed by WW and many other weight loss groups.
It sometimes is not enough to have fresh fruits and veges in the house. An apple can sit in the basket for days before someone eats it at my house. But if I just slice it up and put one on the table at dinner, it's gone! Same with vegetables. If I have broccoli/cauliflower/carrots/peppers cut up and sitting on the counter OUT OF THE FRIDGE funny how they disappear!
I also recently discovered a whole food line called Wildtree herbs and foods that are chemical free!
I would be happy to talk to you privately if I can help in anyway. You are a great mom who has nothing but love for your family and want to see them happy and healthy. We just have to get there!

In good health,

L. Krause, RN
____@____.com

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I also believe that a size 14 is NOT very overweight. In fact, my blood boils just thinking about it. I've struggled with being overweight most my life. BUT, I maintained a perfect weight for me for almost 10 years as an adult. The problem is, my husband was convinced that all "real woman" should wear a size 8. WHATEVER. I would get so frustrated. I'd lose 10 more pounds. Then he would still make snarky comments so I'd give up and gain 15. I'd lose 20 the next time and when I'd get sick of dieting I'd maybe gain 10 or 15 back. I bobbed all over the place and my self esteem was just about all gone until I got up enough gumption to be really ANGRY! But by then the damage had been done and I've spent the last 10 years fighting the battle of my life.

I recently lost 31 pounds. I still have about 30 more to be just considered overweight and not obese. I have 40 more to go to be in a nice healthy weight category and I want to lose another 50.

What is working for me is to eat almost nothing but boxed meals. I eat lean cuisines, healthy choice, south beach and weight watchers meals. I enjoy the variety and can have up to 4-5 per day and still have room for an apple and a banana at some point and on days I only eat 3 of the boxed meals I'll eat fruit 2-3 times per day plus a container of yogurt.

I gave up almost all sweets and all soda. I water down juice to the point that it's just flavored water. BUT I REALLY want this. I don't give a rats behind what anyone else thinks and I'll decide when I'm happy with my weight. I'm in a size 18 now and getting pretty darn close to being able to get into some 16's. Only I had to lose 25 pounds before I even dropped a size.

If you really love your daughter you need to back off and leave her alone. See if she likes these dinners just for the sake of being able to eat good healthy portioned foods. If she does and you are willing to spend the money on her, it is at least portioned controlled and you can let her pick out her own dinners at the store.

S.

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Make sure that she knows you love and care for her no matter what...she may really suffer a blow if she feel she's not "right" or "good enough"
Explain to her why you are worried about her, and help her to learn good food choices...and back it up by what you buy at the store and eat. There are lots of books out there. Does she have any interests? Can you turn those interests into a motivator or as a reward for getting healthier?
My other suggestion would be...to make sure you turn off that tv/computer and do things as a family to get moving. Take a walk each day...do a yoga or a walking dvd (yes they have these) indoors if its yucky outside. It's not just about food.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

I hope this doesn't sound mean or rude but I think the fact that you are refering to your daughter as "very over weight" when she only wears a size 14 is probably contributing to the problem. I am sure she feels self conscious already and then if her parent who is supposed to love her unconditionally is down on her about her weight if will just make her feel worse and she might compensate with food.
I went through this as a child so I know how it can make you feel when you feel like your parents think there is something wrong with you because of your weight.
I know that you are just trying to help your daughter and are worried about her but setting a good example (which you seem to be doing) and helping her make healthy choices will do a lot more for her health that trying to make her lose weight and having her yo-yo up and down.