I guess I am into more life affirming things than the games and big blow ups. Each year, for my daughter's birthday, I had friends and family write a note about their favorite memory or event that happened related to my daugther and them. For small kids, I had adults help them by transcribing what they would say. Then I put them in a memory book. Each year I used specific paper that would reflect her age. For first year I found some pretty baby paper, for second year some Pooh & Piglet paper, and as she got older it was more sophisticated. When she turned 19, I gave her the memory book and we spend hours from time to time reading over her memory book. Some contributors have now passed on and many are still with us. She loved it so much, she started one for each of her kids. I sent these out with the invitation and asked that it be kept secret. For the little kids contributions, their "scribes" pulled them aside and asked them quietly what their favorite thing they have done with my daughter. They were so busy playing they would forget after talking to us that they would never mention it to her. I took pictures of each person that attended and put them with their letter. It was a fun way to see how the kids grew, how she changed over the years, not to mention how us adults aged, some gracefully and some not so gracefully, and the fun stories people told about her. Of course I made my own contribution each year. I included her accomplishments and special things we did together.
She cried when I gave it to her and so did I. We usually cry together when we work on her two daughter's books after each birthday. I have done one for my son as well though we don't always have bday parties for him as he is a special needs child and can't handle the excitement or crowd of a party atmosphere too easily so we limit it to close family. Friends also make their contributions and he feels like his birthday goes on forever because his friends usually spend a week meeting privately with us to do presents in a low keyed manner. We play a game or two with each and have cupcakes until I never want to see another cupcake (which usually lasts about 2 weeks after we are done!!!!) So basically we have "mini parties" for a week or so.....try planning that out....lol.
WEll good luck on your daughter's party. Focus more on relationships than the party though it sounds like you have a good time planned. Throw in a hot dog or two cooked on a grill with plenty of chips and juice and a good time will be had by all.