Daughter Wrestling

I say let her wrestle!

Since they are wrestling kids of similiar weight it isn't so bad. Keep in mind that boys hit puberty later which means that typically an 8th grade girl may be stronger than the boys (that will change around 10th grade). Girls tend to be better with "putting in legs" but should not try to out muscle...they really need to out wrestle very quickly. If you girl is not small and petite she will encounter a strength disadvantage in the upper weight classes as she advances. If she is about 125 lb or less (in high school) she should be able to do just fine.

Some boys won't want to wrestle her because if they win they "beat a girl", if they lose they "lost to a girl. It won't always be easy, she needs to know that.

My son wrestled so I have seen girls wrestle as young as 4 years and as heavy as 189 in high school. I don't have a problem with it (my husband does).

Both the boys and girls need to realize that when a girl steps on a mat she is not a "girl" she is a wrestler and her opponent has to wrestle her as such...no special treatment!

I have a friend whose daughter is on the footbal team. No one messes with Audrey!!
As long as she can hold her own and enjoys it, I say good for her.

I would support and encourage her. It's obviously something she really wanted to do or she wouldn't have taken the time to get all the signatures (and then some!). She's going to be coached and supervised. And aren't wrestling matches set up according to weight? So she won't be up against someone much bigger than she.

When I was in Jr. High, our wrestling coach personally asked me to come out for the team, as the first girl wrestler for our school and for any other schools in our conference. I was really excited for it, but my parents were hesitant about me getting picked on. Even so, they expressed their concerns and told me the decision was mine. Then I found out the wrestling season was the same as the basketball season and I REALLY wanted to try out for cheerleading. So I did that instead of wrestling. Cheering didn't make me popular, like I had thought, and by the time I realized I should have wrestled instead, it was too late. The point of my story: If it was my daughter, I would encourage her to do something that was different, because the usual stuff will always be there. She wants this so badly that she has fought for the right to do it. She has a friend who is right there with her, so she won't be alone. She could get hurt participating in any sport. I admire her courage and her determination.
Good luck!

Susan T.. At our daughters Middle school and High school they had girls on the football team a couple of times.. The Coaches believed everyone and anyone had a right to try out.. One of them was a kicker and pretty good. She is also a beautiful petite blond was class President and in the National Honor Society.and Homecoming Queen.... Her Kick was awesome.. lots of years with brothers and also all of those years in soccer beginning when she was 4. She was not intimidated by anything or anyone.. So please consider, you do not want your child to have regrets.. I would never try to talk our daughter out for something she at least wants to try..
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At our daughters high school one of her best friends was on the wrestling team.. She was awesome.. They still have a very active team at the high school. She is beautiful, petite blond and incredibly intelligent.

She was also on a Hockey team.. Yes I know Austin, Texas, Ice Hockey and still plays college Hockey. I need to see if she still wrestles..

She was not seen as odd or butch or anything like that. I used to tease her that she was smart to be on that team, because they traveled for their matches with the boys team.. She actually said they were more like brothers and sisters than anything romantic...

Make sure when she applies to college, she includes this information about the petition, it will look great on her College resume.. Congratulations mom, your daughter sounds very special.

I don't know enough about wrestling to know if I'd even want my son wrestling. If you're OK with the sport then I'd say let her do it. She's worked very hard to be included and I think it's important to reward such diligence.

I was one of the first 6 women hired as a police officer in my department. I'd do it again. Yes, being the first in a man's/boy/s field is a challenge. When a woman achieves in such circumstances she's developed confidence to a higher degree than if she'd not challenged herself. She's also a pioneer and will be admired her entire life and probably forever as she paves the way for the next group of women. She and others will be proud of her accomplishment. This is a great opportunity for your daughter.

If you're concerned about male/female contact, don't be. It's a sport with rules that protect all players. And, it's hard work which doesn't leave room for sexual feelings. There are female wrestlers on other teams at other schools and there hasn't been a problem in this area.

After reading Susan T's response. My daughter pumped gas, often alone, as a teen in the 90's on the evening shift and had no problems. When someone got out of line she could call her boss or the police. She only had to make a call twice during one summer. It was good experience for her.

Wow that is a tough one. In a way I think the horse is already out of the barn and there's not much you can do about it this season. Your duaghter has already done what she had to do to get the school to include girls in the program. I have to say I'm surpirsed they rquired the 75 person petition. I thought title 9 requires that girls be given the same athletic opportunities as boys...

My daughter is in 9th grade and has been talking about football - but I've told her that it's not an option. I admitted to being sexist and told her just becuase you CAN do anything doesn't mean that you SHOULD. I reminded her that I "can" go on a drinking binge - after all it's legal as long as I don't drive - but that doesn't mean that I "should".

When I was a teen back in the late 70's I wanted to get a job at a gas station pumping gas and my mom wouldn't let me. At the time I completely did not understand - but now I do since I wouldn't want my daughter doing that job right now. On the other hand she's very good with math and spatial skills so I'm encouraging her interest in engineering and she's taking a first year engineering class in HS, loves it and is doing well. If she had to work out on a construction site as an engineer I wouldn't object but I would push her to make sure she was trained and educated regarding self defense.

I can understand why your husband is hesitant since he remembers what it's like to be a teenage boy - and he knows what a teenage girl will look like in a singlet. The boys will have a really tough time in a match against her as they'll have to spend effort and concentration to avoid having a "physical response" to being entangled with a girl. <smile> You neverknow that coach may find that having a girl or two on the team will help - even if other teams forfeit matches.

Hopefully it will fizzle out and she'll lose interest. I have to assume that since her sister is a cheerleader she wants to set herself apart from her sister and establish her own identity - so she's gone to the opposite direction. Kids are funny aren't they?

I have a feeling this will resolve itself - I'd love to hear about how it all works out in the weeks to come!

I think it's awesome! Go girls! If they meet the requirements and enjoy it -why not? I had much rather my kids get involved in something positive and athletic than doing nothing or sneaking around after school and doing God-knows-what! Plus, they've learned an awesome lesson about going after what you want and getting past obstacles. I think those girls have a bright future ahead of them that they won't let anyone stand in the way of -and you and your husband should be proud! If they get any flack from anyone, tell them to hold their heads high. Everyone who has ever done anything "different" for the first time has had to put up with ignorance -it will just make them stronger.

You daugher is not the first female wrestler in a Middle School/ high school wrestling program. I'm sure there are ways that she could even contact some of the women she is following.
Congratulations to your daughter and her friend for being brave enough to follow the activity she wants to do - maybe it will encourage some of the surrounding schools to recruit a girl for that same weight class!
I remember the days of trying to join a soccer team, but only boys soccer was available. Look at how that sport has changed in less than 20 years! Now there are FULL teams at MANY high schools for girls. We need females who are as brave as your daughter to open the doors for the next generation!

Hi, T.:

Patterns for your daughter's life will unfold as it should. Hope she will
continue to have a sense of justice as she goes into adulthood.
Have you seen women mud wrestle?
Women can do anything a man can do, yes, and they lose their life in
the military for us too.
Kick back and watch her grow.
Good luck. D.

When I was around that age one of my best friends was a female wrestler... And she beat most of the guys she went up against! Lol.

Your daughter will do fine :)

My husband wrestled in high school & college, and he then coached wrestling + officiated wrestling. He is in no way sexist, but he has MAJOR problems with girls wrestling. Middle school is a tough time for almost every kid. They are struggling as their bodies are changing and hormones are raging. That said, when he coached, if a girl was on the other team, his team's policy was to have their wrestler forfeit. If you have watched wrestling, you see the guys place their hands in places you would not want your daughter touched by an adolescent boy. It places both the bos and the girls in an awkward position when girls wrestle. The guys can get sexually excited...and your daughter would be wearing that tight singlet...do you really want that for your daughter?? Yes...girls should be given every opportunity...and we've encouraged our daughter to try everything she wants to do...but would draw the line at wrestling. I would find an alternative for her...what about some type of martial arts?

i think you should encourage it and tell her how much slack the boys are going to get if she wins. it will be an adrenaline rush for her to beat a boy. boys tend to take it easy on girls so have her take advantage of it. :) I noticed this when I had to spar with guys in a martial arts tournament and used it to my advantage. :) as long as she is a tom boy she will be fine if she is dainty talk her out of it it could be demoraling to her.

I would be a little hesitant, for my daughter...just becuase of the sport involved. It's a very...heavy contact sport. They are teenagers and that can just be weird...not to mention boys are boys. It's just my opinion, but I would not feel very good about my daughter wrestling. We should encourage our kids, for things that will be great for them. I just wonder, if wrestling would be a great thing for her?

That's fine...as long as she doesn't make a big deal about it when she gets "touched" innapropriately. And to be honest-I do think they will get an unfair edge if the boys on the opposing team have to be more 'delicate' with them than they would with one of the boys. If my son were to wrestle your daughter I would strongly encourage him to see NO difference and to do to her EXACTLY what he would do to another boy. And I would request that the 'girl' team put in writing that there could be no legal repurcussions because of this.

I don't think you are wrong in encouraging either of your daughters in their interests.

I was a cheerleader (and also did track), we had a great coach who stressed that cheerleaders were athletes not "rah rahs" - and when you think about it, you are doing a highly aerobic workout for the duration of a football or basketball game, I'd like to see a lot of the critics try to keep up.

As to your wrestler, she's going to have a tougher battle. The reality of the male wrestling world is rather dirty and nasty, guys are competitive and anything goes as long as you don't get caught - probably more so in practice even than during a match. There will be far more people who feel girls shouldn't be doing it than those who support her, both on and off the team. If she wants to do it, I'm glad you support her, I would also prepare her for the potential for some really bad behavior BUT make sure she knows that if something really inappropriate happens to speak out, she does not "deserve it" or need to suffer through it just because she is playing a boys sport. Also, if she decides it just isn't for her, I would let her bale out with grace (where, normally I am a big proponent of sticking something out for the duration of a season). I am not a big fan of wrestling for boys, I've seen a lot of male eating disorders come out of it, and like I said (at my school at least, and I graduated in '85 so maybe they're more enlightened now) it was full of bad behavior - guess all that grappling in leotards is a little too stimulating. Best of luck to your daughter, don't blame your husband for being hesitant, but keep supporting her - whatever her decision becomes.

I wouldn't like it AT ALL, but like you, I would let my daughter to do it if she wanted. Good work. Yikes. I hope my daughter doesn't want to wrestle when she gets older. I'll let her though. I just dont' like the macho nature of it and having a whole team of boys involved, but technically as you said, she could be hurt just as badly cheerleading. Or getting hit crossing the street for that matter. You're brave! I would have tried, "Oh sweetie, it's not allowed, let it go." But if she pushed that hard, like I said, I'd have to let her forge that path. You've got a cool daughter!

My cousins duaghter ( who will be 16 this week, not sure of the grade) just started wrestling. She loves it!! She did have a couple incidents where the boys would grab her butt, etc, but she told them to knock it off and they did.

I think its awesome. Good for her & good for you! She has learned a great life lesson already.