Daughter with Underwear Issues

Updated on March 17, 2012
R.K. asks from Abilene, TX
15 answers

I am having trouble with my 4 year old daughter wearing underwear. I have bought different sizes, several different brands and even boys boxer shorts. She will push them down until they are bunched up under her pants and below her bottom. She fights me every day saying that she does not like them. She can't really tell me why. She will also stretch out the leg holes on them so nothing is touching her. It seems like she does not like things on her waist because she will push her shorts or pants down too. I am tired of seeing her butt crack and fighting with her. I talked to a friend and she said that her daughter does this too and it is something called sensory processing disorder. Has anyone been through something like this? I am at my witts end. Should I just let her not wear underwear? Please help! Thanks.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I bought my daughter target leggings and cut them into shorts. they are on clearance for under $2 and sell usually for $5. She is

4 moms found this helpful

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

sensory processing disorder.exactly, what is sounds like..

Our daughter has a friend that to this day, (she is now 21),, her grandmother makes her underpants for her.

She covers the elastic on the waist and around the legs.. Also makes the seams really small.

See if your daughter can deal with the panties inside out.. That way the seams and elastic is not close to her skin.

6 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

It does sound like sensory processing disorder. Is there anything else she is "quirky" about? Like the seams on the inside of socks? I would talk to her pediatrician and then see if you can get a referral for her for an appropriate therapist to help her with this.

If it helps, you could try underwear from Hanna Andersson...it's supposed to be really nice and very comfortable.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Little girls generally can't go commando. Not in a skirt. They flash all the time and it's just not acceptable on the playground or in preschool.

I would keep looking for something that works. If she'll wear leggings then cut them off as suggested. Or maybe look into making no-elastic underpants that she might wear.

I do agree that it sounds like a sensory issue. In my house, my SD cannot stand tags and used to tear them out and ruin everything. We had to teach her to cut them off (carefully) or buy tagless.

Here's another conversation somewhere else about what to buy/do for a child with sensory issues: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1221727/underwear-pa...

3 moms found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

I would put her in dresses most of the time. Or overalls. I would find out more about sensory disorder but help her overcome it now or just get use to the panties now because she will need them when she is a bit older and starts her period. Learning to be comfortable in undies will help you now instead of when her hormones are flying.

Also I have skin issues and can relate. I would purchase undies entirely too big for her like a womens smallest size to see if they will hang on her while not touching her either. try finding non exposed elastic undies. i also like the idea of making her some home made coverups. almost like they did in the old days!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from New York on

Try cotton underwear - take her to the story and see which ones feel good to her. There are brands of underwear that don't have seems and don't have a band of elastic. I have to say i can kind of understand where she's coming from becuase I hate to have a seam in my socks or underwear bug me. My kids have clothing that they picked out that they won't wear becuase it bugs them around the neck, where there's stitiching on the front, if the iron-on image on the front is too big and feels weird on their chest, etc. My daughter always had me tear our the tags in her clothing.

But I have to say, there are shirts I won't wear becuase the thread along the neck is itchy. I love 3/4 length sleeves most of the time but not when I have to wear a jacket over them becuase they'll bunch up under the sleeve.

Ah well - my brother won't eat foods with odd textures like celery. We all have our "things"...

2 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

My son always hated the feel of underwear and refused to wear it. He JUST recently started wearing it (he is almost 8 years old) for the first time. He has always been sensitive to the way clothes feel. He finally outgrew it. Yes, he has the symptoms of sensory processing disorder. He also used to freak out over loud noises and still hates loud restaurants/rooms. He is very sensitive to food textures and will only eat certain things. He is just plain sensitive to a bunch of different things. Maybe buy your daughter overalls for a while if you can find them.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Tyler on

Hey -
My son has sensory processing disorder. It's certainly a LOT more than just not liking your underwear position. But, tags on shirts drove my son NUTSO and so I had to cut them all out. I'm so glad that they now just print the tag info right onto a shirt. I think the bikini undies might be a great option for you - or something that does not have the elastic string like waist band - something that is more like the waist band of the boy's boxer briefs.

Outside of addressing the undies issue, here are some other sensory issues that my son had:
1. Would NOT transition from concrete to grass or carpet to wood. Would only walk on one surface.
2. Completely hated grass.
3. Did not like loud noises.
4. Had poor gross motor skills and finite motor skills.
5. Absolutely could not stand escalators and elevators.
6. Does not like heights or anything requiring balance (bikes/scooters/skates).

My son had physical and occupational therapy for awhile and it was a MIRACLE. 99% of those issues have gone away. He still isn't comfortable with riding a bike or balancing on things, but we are working on that. If your daughter is experiencing ANY other types of issues, I would HIGHLY recommend therapy. It's purely a miracle.

Good luck,
L.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Buy her bikini's. They work pretty well since they are around a lower part of the torso. It might help. I would not let her go without. That would be really embarrassing if she shot someone a free shot of her crotch even accidentally...lol

1 mom found this helpful

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

My daughter used to be this way about socks. There was a time I bought many different styles of socks, even went to stride rite to get the seamless socks. Nothing seemed to help at the time. (At this point, around the age 2 1/2 I realized she was a "Highly sensitive child" and realized I was also a highly sensitive person) I remember 4 being the age of the biggest battle. She is STILL not a HUGE fan of socks but is MUCH better about socks. She is 6 now. She tolerates socks better because she is older, because I've told her when she HAS to wear them and because I allow her to rip them off the second she comes in the door.

Perhaps you can reason with her. Enforce she wear them out of the house however if she wants to take them off while at home allow her to do so.

Good luck I know how hard it can be.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I see no reason to make her wear underwear if she doesn't want to. We have a rule in our house if she does not want to wear underwear she does not have to; but, if she is in a skirt/dress, she MUST wear shorts under it. It's not a problem. My son also hates underwear...I just let them be them and don't worry about it.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Why not just get her skirts long enough to cover everything and let her go commando?

1 mom found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

+1 on the sensory processing disorder.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.G.

answers from San Diego on

OMG My daughter did that too starting at about age 4 1/2 and stopped around 5 1/2. I too bought ALL the different undies.. She just turned 6 and now prefers boy shorts and I do not notice her pulling anymore. Wow, I thought we were the only ones that went through that.

S.M.

answers from Dallas on

please don't go commando out of the house, little girls will unintentionally flash others and that is not a good idea. talk to the Dr about sensory issues, other Moms gave great ideas, hope you find one that will work for you/her. what about the bodysuits (do they still make those, or maybe dance wear that is a one piece that wont have the elastic at the waist) maybe she is allergic to elastic/latex/spandex that makes her itch... something to consider

I like the idea of boys boxer briefs, maybe rolled down a little so the elastic wont touch her skin

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