Daughter Who Just Misses the Birthday Cutoff to Turn 5...

I used to teach kindergarten, and all I can say is that it won't hurt your daughter a bit to not start early. Maybe right now the other school thinks she can handle it, but what about down the road. She would always be younger than everyone else in her class. She won't be able to drive a car when her classmates can when she gets older. She won't be able to join her classmates when they require older admissions. Think about the future not just now. Remember, she will only be this age once. My son was at the same stage when he was a youngster, his birthday is early October. I am so glad that he stayed with his class, because the classes before his and after his were not the same caliber of students that his classmates were. I would just say look to the future and weigh all the pros and cons before you leap into this. Good luck.

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I agree with those who say don't push her. My first two children have October birthdays. One of them was reading well before he started kindergarten. Academically they would have been fine to start early. Now that one is in HS and one ready to start middle school, I know they are right where they need to be. Let them be children and don't push them. When they are older they will be with many children their own age and you will be glad.

Do lots of things with her at home to keep her interested in learning!

You are lucky that she is so bright and you will not have the problems of having to tutor her or help her as she advances in school.

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My daughter missed the cut off in kindergarten by two weeks! I found a private school, enrolled her, then took her back out in the middle of the year. She was ready academically, socially, etc., but it was all day kindergarten and she was exhausted! As someone else said, you have no idea when missing that extra year might rear it's ugly head during her school career.

And I'll tell you this: the way schools are today, that extra year of maturity will be a blessing when she's a teenager. You can stimulate their little brains academically all you want but only age brings the maturity they need to deal with the pressures of being a teen in today's sexed up, drugged up world.

That daughter I'm talking about is 19 now and moving out this week. It seems like yesterday! But I saw no ill effects from that extra year and there were times that she had a hard enough time dealing with something...if she'd been a year younger than her classmates it could have been worse.

Don't rush them to grow up...it happens way to fast as it is.

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You did not say if you were a stay at home mom. Don't be in such a hurry to send her to school. They have to go for so many years as it is. I chose to keep my daughter at home as opposed to going to Pre-.I more or less home schooled her that year. I just felt like four was too young to send her. Remember, if they go to Pre-K, they are in school for 14 years. Now, if they want to go to college, you are looking at another 4 to 8 years, depending on what they want to do. That is a total of at least 18 years being educated. No wonder so many kids get tired of school. Samantha is now 12, 6th grade and an honor student. Is your daughter in daycare or a school setting? If she can continue at the same school, why don't they just bump her up a level until she is the right age for public school? Samantha was so ready for kindergarden, but her age was not. She cried to get on the bus with all the other kids. Once we got started into doing our own school work at home, she really enjoyed that year. I even got her a used desk from our local school. I already had kids that had been in school, so I pretty much knew the school schedule. We even did school lunch with a tray and nap time. It became learning and fun at the same time. Her social skills were not affected at all. Those just got better when she started public school.
Enjoy her while you can, those years pass so quickly. I am so glad I had that year with Samantha. It is such a precious and learning age for each of you.

Good Luck Let us know how it turns out
S. MIller

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You are right, there are "no exceptions" in these cases for the cut off age to start school. Stop fretting over this. If she is this advanced, she will be eligible for advanced (sometimes called RLC or AP) classes in school, even in elementary schools. She might be able to skip a grade but we had a friend whose child did this in 2nd grade and they hated it when she reached high school because the older children were MUCH more mature than she was and it caused problems. Let her relax and enjoy being at the top of her class. You could get her involved in local or community school courses in addition to what she is required to do in class. Trust me, she won't be bored. It sounds as though you're rushing her to grow up too soon. Let her enjoy being 4 and what will it really matter if she gets to play some extra time in a day school. She will start school soon enough and be busy, busy. Enjoy these years, they pass too quickly.

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My son missed the cutoff by 3 days. But I decided to take that extra year to spend enjoying having him home. You can still work with your daughter at home, but why be in a rush to send her to school? She'll be there the next 12+ years. Let her have one more year at home with you.

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