38 answers

Daughter Wants to Live with Father

I have 15 yr old who want to live with her father after 14yrs. I say no, but she keeps telling me that i can't stop her, who know what age is it when they can decide?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I still have not let her move to her dads, and really don't know if i will. Due to the fact I don't like his life style, he like to drink all the time, (Not sure if he still gets high) he says he does not, but I don't know for sure. I will let her go in the summer time but during school I doubt it. There won't be anyone there when she gets on the bus or off. I don't feel comfortable with her being by herself. To many preditors.

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Hiya I am in a similar situation. I really battled with this issue. But I thought that if I kept her then she would rebel even more. Maybe she needs to see for herself that it is not always greener on the otherside.

Unfortunately at the age of 13yrs. children have the right to decide which parent they want to reside with!

I looked into this when my now 19 year old was 13 - in the state of Texas he can decide at age 13. After going thru everything we worked things out and he ended up not going to his father's as he didn't want to lose his friends, change schools, etc. So he decided things were not so bad at home after all.

Good Luck

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As you've seen by the other responses, 12 is the age at which a child in Texas can voice their opinion about which parent they would like to live with. My husband and I went through a major battle to get custody of his then 14 year old daughter because her mother fought it. She was unable to prove that he was an unfit, uninvolved father. In Harris County, the judges often appoint an Amicus (which is an attorney who represents the child). The Amicus will visit both households, interview both parents and interview the child privately. The Amicus' opinion weighs the heaviest. After a year long battle, my "bonus" daughter came to live with us her freshman year of high school. She is now a junior. Last June, his 12 year old son decided that he wanted to move in with us as well. Instead of the brutal 18 month long court battle, there was a 3 hour mediation where it was agreed that he would move in.

The reason both children wanted to move in with us is because they have a voice in our home. Their mother wouldn't let them express themselves verbally or otherwise. The rules in our house are actually more strict than at their mothers, showing that kids need and want boundaries.

Good luck to you! I know that this has to be heartwrenching for you. Talk to her and more importantly, let her talk to you openly without fear of you freaking out on her. You can get to the heart of the matter if you listen to her heart.

1 mom found this helpful

After "suicidal" threats, I relented to let my then 12 year old daughter live with her dad. It has been the best thing for their relationship. At that point they only tolerated each other, but now they have grown to love each other. While that doesn't seem to be the "best" for me, I think that I had to consider what is in her best interest.
It may also be a jealousy issue to the youngest addition to the family. We had also added to our family.
After making it perfectly clear that there would be flipping back and forth from one house to the other, it has been three years. I think my ex-husband is better suited to handle the "teenage" years.

If she has choosen to live with her father then there is nothing that you can do about it. It will be of her choice. You have taught her values, morals and sometimes they think it greener on the other side and once they are there it's not.
If the age is 13 by law then there is no way you can keep her from going to stay with her dad. But maybe meet her half way allowing her to go on weekends and summer vacations and Holidays. But she has to come back and go to school where you and your husband live.

I believe the age is 12 years old. I am also in that same situation. My son is twelve and whenever he gets upset with me, he always tells me that he wants to live with his father. Let me know what you find out and Good Luck to you.

Unfortunately, she has well reached the legal age to decide. She is able to sign an affidavit stating who she would prefer to reside with. Of course, this is presided by the courts, and only you or her father can have the papers drawn up.

Dear Sharon,
In Texas a child may voice a preference to the judge about who they live with when they are 12. Good luck with your blended families and new marriage. I hope there is a solution that everyone can live with.

Hi Sharon,

Ok, the other 2 ladies are right, the age is 13. However, there are things you can do about it, if you are willing to take the time and possibly even fight. Get an attorney, talk to your ex. Your daughter can't just up and go and that's that. What will need to happen, is new papers will need to be drawn up stating who the minor child resides with. Then once you have retained counsel, let them know that you DO NOT want this. Explain to the attorney (and later the judge) why. The Judge will very much consider what is in the best interest of the child. If you have provided a stable, sound, comfortable and non abusive home you will have an amazing chance at keeping her with you. How is her father? That will be the grounds for comparison. Does he make good money? Can he support her? Does he pay child support? Is it current/on time? Does he have a room for her at his house? Is it clean? I know it seems like a lot but all things will be considered. I hope this helps and good Luck!

Hiya I am in a similar situation. I really battled with this issue. But I thought that if I kept her then she would rebel even more. Maybe she needs to see for herself that it is not always greener on the otherside.

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