Daughter's Classmate Is a "Tattletale" and a Trouble-maker

Yes, you need to talk to her teacher. Go into the talk with an open mind - chances are your daughter is telling the truth, but as a teacher myself I've seen this situation many times and often "the innocent" is the instigator. If in fact the situation is as your daughter says, then her teacher should be intervening, not taking the boy at his word, and working to solve the problem. However, I've come across many teachers who would rather not deal with such issues and tend to take the easiest route out. If that turns out to be the case then you need to see the principal. Your daughter should not want to avoid school because of a bully. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi there! Well, you did not say how old your daughter was, but I have 6 children and my #3 has had problems with bullies and kids that make bad comments to him under their breath, etc. I have had to talk to the vice principal, school counselor and all the teachers to get them on board to help him to have a successful life at school.

I would probably not start with the teacher. It sounds like she might have some favoritism going on there. If you could talk to the Principal or Vice Principal about your concerns, they are an outside party and won't have that favoritism concerns. You also really need to say that your daughter does not feel like coming to school because of it. That usually should raise a red flag to the principal that something is seriously wrong. If it does not, that is sad.

ALL KIDS should be heard. ALL SIDES should be respected. You are the ONLY ADVOCATE for your children. I have learned that you have to be 'in there' and have the teachers know of your expectations of them...not the other way around. You are in control of your children's welfare and such. I have told many teachers that I care more about my children's self esteem than their grades or any tests and I EXPECT them to respect my wishes. They all do. :)

Good luck and I hope things change for her. That is just a terrible thing to have to deal with at such young ages.

1 mom found this helpful

I definitely think you should talk to the teacher, and as a few other people have suggested, do so with an open mind. A great approach is to ask the teacher to help you understand what is happening in the lunch room and what you can do as a parent to support the teacher in making sure that lunchtime can be pleasant for everyone. That kind of attitude, if you can be sincere about it, really goes a long way. It communicates that you accept that there is more than one side to any story, that you respect the teacher, and that you truly want to be helpful. Another approach is to simply share what your daughter has communicated with you and then to ask, "What can you do to help me in this situation?" in a very nice way. It's a direct approach that is friendly, but the listener really has no option but to respond positively! Finally, I recommend joining your daughter for lunch a few times. It may be eye opening.

I've taught second grade for several years, and this is the year that some kids begin to get a bit of a mean streak. I have also seen kids gang up on a kid emotionally, claiming that a child is doing naughty things when he or she really isn't. I can't tell you how many parents I've met with who end up in tears because they can't believe that their angel (and I don't say that sarcastically- there is no one as wonderful as my own child!) is making things up or doing unkind things. And then there are kids out there who really are doing the naughty things and pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. Neither is good. Find out which it is for sure...

Good luck!
J.

1 mom found this helpful