Daughter Swiping Food off the Table

Updated on July 17, 2008
W.G. asks from Mission Viejo, CA
29 answers

Hi all! I was wondering if any of you could provide some advise. My 16 month old daughter has started sliding her hands/arms across the table at meal time when she is done and throwing food all over the floor. I have tried asking her to stop and saying "no" neither of which have worked. I am a bit frustrated with this behavior and wondering if anyone else has had this problem and how they cured it. I try to limit the amount of food she has in front of her but last night when I turned my back she dumped an entire bowl of food on the table and proceeded to move her arms back and forth and throw it all on the floor. I am at the end of my rope! Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all of the suggestions and advice. I am trying to remain calm and remove her from the table when I notice she is done eating. Also, if she does swipe something I say no and remove any remaining food from in front of her. I am sure this is a phase and am trying to enjoy the ride!

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L.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Don't give her the bowl. Only put small portions on her high chair tray and refill as she eats it. Sometimes they get frustrated and overwhelmed with too many choices in front of them. I put a couple bites on my son's tray at a time.

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A.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you are talking about my 22 month old! I think it is just a stage they go through. We would pull her chair away from the table and tell her that it was not O.K. to throw her food. We would have her sit away from the table for around 1 min. with no eye contact or attention. Then we would ask her if she is ready to eat her dinner. Sometimes she would...and sometimes we would have the same behavior. It HAS gotten better though...don't fret. No we tell her that when she is done she needs to give the plate to mommy/daddy...and she does it nicely now.

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F.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi W.,

My son is 17 months old today and does the same thing sometimes - all I do is say calmly to him that mealtime is over and I remove the tray table and take him out of the high chair. I don't get upset or angry, I just take it as a sign that he's not hungry, he's more interested in playing around.

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V.B.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD! LOL!

All kids do this at some point. I would just move the highchair away from the table say no, clean up the mess and then told my girl she would be finished eating if she did it again. I also made sure that she told me when she was done and praised her when she notified me...that prevented her from just being boared and playing with what was in front of her. You might have to police her a bit at first but she will get the picture pretty quick. Don't get me wrong I did put her back up at the table after a bit to finish her meal, but I didn't do it right away. She did test me at one point so I took her away from the table had her "help" me clean up the mess and then did not return her to the table for a good little stretch....It only took maybe 2 or 3 times for her to understand that I would not tolerate this behavior and she never did it again.

Be patient and realize that if you are dealing with the situation with stressed, or angry energy then you are only feeding her impulse to keep doing it, it turns into a game. If you don't get frustrated and stay consistent on how you choose to handle it she will get the picture.

Oh and this is one of MANY battles of the MESS you will have to deal with....it doesn’t stop! LOL!

Peace~Love~Light
V.

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N.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have the same problem with one of my daycare kids. He was cured, went of vacation and we are back to square one. You need to teach your daughter to say she finished, I use the words "I'm done" and then respond immediately by letting her down or taking the food away. When she knocks the food on the floor, make her help you clean it up. Like I said, my little guy was cured until he went on vacation because his mom and I were not communicating, so make sure you are communicating with her babysitter/daycare provider and are doing the same thing.
Good luck!

~N.

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M.L.

answers from San Diego on

My son did that at her age. We just made it a point that he didn't do that or dinner/lunch, etc was over and he would be asked to leave. When she does it simply get her down from the table, clean her up and send her on her way. She may test it a few times but it should work. The thing to remember is to not feed her unless she's sitting at the table, that's where the food belongs. The minute she throws something on the floor, she's done.

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G.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds totally normal. Also, she probably wants to pick the food up with her fingers. I let my 19-month old daughter eat spaghetti with her hands. It's messy but she eats it!

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E.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't have any advice, but I am looking forward to reading your responses. My 14 month old son does the same thing and it is extremely frustrating.

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S.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

What I did when my daughter misbehaved at the meal table was to put her in a "time-out" of sorts. She was 18 months old at the time. My occupational therapist suggested it (my daughter had feeding issues) and it worked within a couple of days. What I did was when my daughter acted inappropriately, I pulled her high chair a few feet away from the table. She had to sit away from the table for a minute or two with no control over what happens except to improve her behavior. She did not return to the table until her behavior improved. But, I made it clear that her behavior was not acceptable. I don't remember what I did with the food...I know I must have removed it. But, I only had to do this only 2-3 times before the issue disappeared. Good luck!!!

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C.L.

answers from Reno on

Children that age don't learn like an adult or older child and every child developes differently. It isn't an unncommon behavor few moms don't experience this. Your child is learning some fine motor skills, cause and effect(which can become a game) I drop you pick up, depth perception as their vision is developing more and several more things. Enjoy it for what it is and take lotsa pics. These innocent moments don't last long.

What worked for us with my son and what we will do with my daughter with some child appropriate tweeking is giving a smaller amount of food at one time. Inconvient cause your giving them food more but less for them to throw so they are more likely to eat. Removale from tabel if the eating has stopped and it is just throwing she done for that moment and will eat later when hungry. Finially help with clean up she makes the mess although not much help, she helps pick up its a learning experience. For my son we did counting excersises and ABC's with him as we picked up the pieces it filled some time and last butt not least lots of noes. hehe

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J.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi W., ugh. I know.

What we did with my DS was remove him from the table every time he did it and put him on time out. After it was over, we explained not to do it, and he was to help pick up the mess. That worked most of the time (sometimes they just love seeing the cause/effect thing too much!) but really, it's the age.

We had to really be consistent and yes, it interrupted our dinner a lot, but most of the time, each meal was only a couple of interruptions. Of course, it would start again at the next meal. So, yeah, ugh.

Good luck!

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C.B.

answers from Reno on

Hi W.,
Although I never experienced this myself, I have been around friends who have. I recommend that you give your daughter her full portion of food and explain to her that this is her meal and that there will not be anything else to eat. If she throws it on the floor then calmly say something like " oh dear, I see that you have had enough to eat. Help mom to clear this up' and then have her help you. Do not give her anything else to eat. Once she realises that the reward for this behaviour is being hungry and having to clean up, it should stop pretty quickly.
Praying for your success... remember being calm so she doesn't see her behaviour get a rise from you is really important.
C. :-)

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D.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sometimes you just gotta be quicker than them! Before she is even finished, get on your mark, get set and take her straight to her room and get her involved in some other activity. The dishes can wait.

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R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter will do that sometimes too. I encourage her to tell me she is done, and she is allowed to push the plate away from her. When she dumps it on the floor, I just tell her that it is not appropriate and leave it at that. She goes into a mini time out type as I clean up, then we go back to eating. We try to include her in the table conversation and make eye contact with her, but if she is done before us (usually) we don't let her down. We eat together as a family, and when we are all done, then we get down.
Good luck
R.

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B.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son does this too but only when he's not hungry. As soon as he throws one thing, I ask him if he's all done and he signs all done to me. I take the food away and give him a baby wipe. He swipes and scrubs his high chair top for me! That swiping happens with the food if I don't take it away. I'm sure it is a phase. I don't know that I would punish for it other than the saying "no" and/or removing baby from the situation. Your daughter is just telling you she doesn't want that food. Good luck!

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S.O.

answers from San Diego on

It is a stage...a very frustrating and messy stage. I would just continue being consistent in letting her know that the behavior is unacceptable. She is old enough to understand time outs or a quick little swat on the hand, whatever form of discipline you choose to use.

She is also doing this because she knows she will get a reaction out of you. She is also doing this out of sheer curiosity and testing her limits..of gravity and with you.

With my son at that age, he is now 3, I would pick up for him once or twice and tell him firmly "no". Then the third time he was put in time out for 1 minute and removed from the table. Then a few minutes later we would try "eating like a big boy" on the table again. Then if he continued with the bad behavior, he would be put in time out again and removed from the table until the next meal. Now at age 3 if he does not behave properly (eat with utensils, sit down nicely, etc.) he immediately gets time out for 3 minutes. Then he can come back to the table and try it again. Or he can choose to not try it again but will have to suffer the consequence of being hungry until the next meal is served.

And for laughs later on....take pictures of your daughters food art to put into her scrapbook. Then you can show it to her when she has kids who do the same thing :D.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi W., the next time she swipes food onto the floor, still tell her no, but at the same time tap her on her hand, if she still does it, take her down away from the table, and have the family finish eating, at 16 months old I wull assume she is in a high chair, I have a daycare child that is 17 months old and everytime he is don eating, his bowl, cup ends up on the floor, so with his dads permision I tap him on the hand I tell him no, and even though it is empty I put them back on his high chair tray, and give him chance to obey, if he does it again I take him down and he goes in the playpen, you cant even go out to eat if you have kids that throw their food or dishes on the floor. J.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi W.,
This is normal 16 month old behavior - she is just experimenting. If you don't already have one, I suggest buying a splat mat (I think I got mine at Babies R Us) and put it under the area where you daughter sits. You can just rinse it off outside or in the tub and it keeps the floors clean. Meanwhile, just try to give her small amounts of food at once and keep everything else out of her reach. She'll eventually stop and move on to something else that annoys you!

Good luck and try not to stress!

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi W.,
I totally can relate! My suggestion is that when you observe that she is done, let her be excused from the table, or remove the food before she has the chance to sweep it onto the floor. This is completely normal behavior, no matter how frustrating for you, and she is learning cause and effect, among other things. Plus, maybe she's just ready to have a clear table space. Also, something I am still using with my 2 1/2 year-old daughter, a big mat for under her high chair will be a lifesaver (not to mantion save your floors!). When food gets on it, I simply rinse and wipe it clean and it's ready for the next inevitable spill. Try to be patient, even though it's hard. Keep telling her that you don't want her to do it, but anticipate her next move and you'll likely help nip it in the bud next time! Just stay calm and consistent.
Good luck!

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

W.,
My Daughter did a similar thing, when she was done with her milk bottle she would launch it like a grenade on the floor and cry that her milk was gone. After trying the "No's" I tapped her on the hand, not too hard but just enough for her to feel it, it came as a surprise to her and our problem was fixed... Sometimes you just have to go back to basics. Good luck!

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J.V.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi W.- It might take a little time to curb this behavior. Be patient and consistent. I work with preschoolers with special needs, and some of them are used to throwing their sippy cups, dumping food etc. We have to be proactive- stating what behavior is desired and assisting the child to do the behavior, and remove potential targets quickly. For example- after she is done drinking, say "Put the cup on the table" and physically assist her if she doesn't want to do it. Then praise her and take the cup away. If she does manage to dump food- then she helps to clean it up. You stay calm and you help her clean it up. Also let her have some messy play during the day so she can have the opportunity to explore with messiness ( and enjoy it) during an appropriate time. This is not a "special ed"technique. This is what I did with my 3 kids when they were growing up, and it works.

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

W.~
Take her out of her chair and remove her from the table. If she starts crying that she wants to go back to eat, she's testing you. It becomes a game to them when they throw it and you pick it up for them. They will see if you will keep doing it. Show her that if the food goes on the floor, she's done. She will figure it out after a few times and not do it anymore if she's still hungry.
What I did with my girls was teach them sign language. There is a communication barrier between infants and adults and if you teach them simple signs, it will help them communicate what they want. I used "please" "more" "all done", and "milk". When the food started leaving the tray, I would sign "all done" and after a few times they picked it up and starting signing when they were finished eating. Good Luck!

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D.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Our 24 month old is doing the same thing. We just take the plate/bowl away from her when she acts like she's going to push it away. If she wants it again, she only gets it for a short time and then if she acts like she's going to toss it again, it's taken away for good.

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

W.,
I have been going through the same thing with my 20 mth old. She's been doing that since she was about 14mths. It's really annoying I know but unfortunately she's just experimenting. Now that my daughter is older she understands "no" & "time out". And if she doesn't listen to my "no" she knows where she's going. I never did figure out how to stop it. I just tried to me consistent & continued with the "no's" while getting down to her level & looking her in the eyes. Your daughter will eventually get it. Sorry I couldn't be more help.

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is frustrating, but this is just a LO exerting her in independence. My 16 month old son does the same thing. SOmetimes, they're just not hungry, so you're right to just put one or 2 pieces in front of her and if she doesn't want it, let her get up. It's not worth the fight and she will eat when she's hungry.
Check out www.weelicious.com for fast, easy and fresh homemade baby/toddler recipes.

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Welcome to the mess of mother hood :) I have five , the youngest is the same age as yours.

Here is what I do :

First off give her a fork, food is a game to little kids. They are not as hungry as we think, and often they want what we eat not the little carrots and hot dogs we are offering them.

Get a dog to clean up her mess :) joke..

When meal time is over give her the game of picking up what she dropped. show her the trash can, she will happily help out. this also teaches her what the effect is of her cause. don't get angry at her!!! life is a huge adventure and she is exploring it fully with her newly gained mobility...try to see the activity from her eyes, not from yours . You are an adult and adults only trow food when they are angry or trying to make someone wrong... kids start that stuff way later :)

Small children bang glass windows, smear poop, eat dirt,put their pants on their head, poke the dogs eyes , push the wrong buttons and pull flowers apart... all of which we as adults have figured out not to do, and not because someone said " no" but because the effect of our cause created a bunch of extra clean up work or repair. Let her be the one that does that... she will figure it out. ( do not expect that she will stay on task.. but let her experience the task, and be ready with the paper towels.)

The word No never created understanding... try saying " uh. ohh"when something drops to the floor and look what happened, now what shall we do? and " auuu" when something is hurting her or someone else or is broken or can break , then pout, shake your head, and show her what to do instead. be very cheerful when she handles a situation, validate her, and move on.

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A.K.

answers from San Diego on

I think this is pretty normal so you are not alone in your frustration! For my daughter we just put three bites on her tray at a time. It only lasted a month or two and then she was older and better able to listen to reason.

Good luck!

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L.P.

answers from Honolulu on

Sound pretty normal for a baby. When my baby was learning I would put newspapers on the floor and lock her in a high chair. Limited the mess. when going out so other people's homes, especially with other kids, I would put out a sheet or a towel under them. They learned that other kids don't need it. Let your child be around some other kids and she will mimic. It's all about that. Good luck.

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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think the only way to cure it is to wait it out! My son is 15 months old and he's been doing it for months now. They're so young right now telling them no doesn't really do anything. I've noticed that he only really does it when we have a late dinner and it gets too close to his bedtime. Right after dinner is his bathtime so I try not to stress about him getting messy while he eats. Babies get messy it happens! I also have 2 dogs that wait eagerly underneath his chair while he eats and anything that goes over the side they clean up for me lol You've got to remember that she's just a baby and that babies LOVE to play with their food! If you think it's bad now wait until the terrible twos!

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