Daughter Super, Super Excited to See Dad - Am I Alone??

I bet if she saw you that rarely it would be that way. She doesn't have to miss you that way. And that's a good thing! You are her rock. You are home. He is Disney World. You know what they say... Disney is a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there.

I have also experienced this with my children. My boys were 1 and 2 when we divorced. They also were very excited to see Dad as if it was Christmas!! Drove me crazy. They are now 14 and 13 and they still get excited to see their father, but it is not as it was when they were little. I feel that their Dad was the fun one, but I was the disciplinary one. I was the one that made sure kids were in bed on time and that they ate a good dinner on time and brushed their teeth. I was also the one that put the kids on time outs and they had rules, I feel my ex-husband was more lax on rules and bedstimes and such, but the kids only seen him every other weekend. I did most of the parenting. The kids also did not have to clean up their toys or rooms at Dad's house. They did not have to get their homework done. They really did not have any responsibilities at dad's house. They were always going somewhere fun, out to eat, valleyfair, beach. So I am sure it is not true in every case, but my ex-husband was a part time dad, every other weekend, I was the mom all the other days!!!But kids grow up and see who the parent is that is there for them. I hope this helps, it will get better, I know it is a struggle to feel like the bad guy, but in the end, my kids appreciate what I have done for them and they know I will always be there for them, anytime.

hello
I think it's just one of those things you need to come to respect and help nurture.. Relationships with either parent are so vital. Regardless of what happened between you and him and too, even if in the beginning he didn't see her much, it's great that he does it now.
Allow her her joy.. Once you look at it from her perspective which is , hey I have my daddy and I get to visit with him, then you will want more of this for her and hopefully your feelings of jealousy will go away.. The thing is, every relationship is different. Ever have those types of friends for whom you don't see often but when you do you have a GREAT time.. well same goes with family.. some family members don't necessarily need to see each other all the time but when they do, they feel blessed.. When I was a kid, I lived in foster homes and on occasion (albeit NOT often) I got to go and visit my biological mother. She lived in a one room studio, had very little money and frankly drank a lot.. but do you know, I still couldn't wait to see her.. it was as IF yes.. I too had won a trip... never underestimate a kid's ability to know what the important things are in life, so if she treats a visit to dad's house as though it was like going to Disney... then even Disney can't conjure up that kind of magic... perhaps your daughter in her own way without knowing it, showing you how to love unconditionally.. she's sounds like a lovely girl..

best of luck

Im guessing its probably because its a new thing, seeing him regularly. My son has always favored his dad, I think its because he doesnt see him much (he works a lot) so when he does see him, hes very excited. You are always going to be the main person, the one that constantly takes care of her and disiplines hers. Dad is probably just the fun one. He probably spoils her and doesnt do too much disiplining. I know its probably hard, but a relationship is both parents is VERY important, for the well being of your child. I can relate to how you feel, but it really is best to her to have you both. Try to look at it as a good thing. Im sure you will always be her go to gal!

This is normal and I would not discourage her reactions in any way. She sees you 24/7 and knows that you ar always there for her. She rarely sees Dad so he is exciting and a "treat" to look forward to. Kids often hav this kind of reaction when told they are going to visit their grandparents. Be glad that she looks forward to visiting Dad - far too many kids dread, whine, and cry when they have to visit the other parent.

We have a similar situation. We're the grandparents raising our 5 & 8 yr. old grandchildren. They were removed from their mother (our daughter) by DHS over a year ago, and given to us temporarily. Mothers rights were terminated and we are adopting them. While they lived with Mom they were always so excited to visit us, on the phone and in person. They could hardly wait to visit us, even though we live 3 blks. away and see them several times a week. They always had a good time when visiting us and since we weren't the parent raising them, we were the "treat" to visit. Now that they live with us, and are doing well, they see Mom supervised by DHS 2 hrs. per wk. They are very excited to see Mom and talk about it the day of visitation. Between visits they rarely mention her or act like they have a mother.

When they're excited to visit Mom I just go along with it and say, "I hope you have fun at Mom's. Don't forget to tell her about the "A" you got on your spelling test last Friday, trip to the zoo, etc.". It is good for their self esteem and emotional well being to have a good relationship with Mom. Every child should have a good relationship with a Mom and a Dad - even if the parents aren't living together.

Do not feel threatened by your little girls excitement to see Dad. He has a special place in her life that you can fill, and YOU have a special place in her life that Dad can't fill.

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Because daddy is like a new toy...he's fun, new, exciting...all that fun stuff. Have you ever questioned what she does with her dad while she's there? Does she go to all sorts of fun places and eat out every meal of every day? Does she have any other siblings there or grandma that she sees every time? There are so many different reasons she could be so excited to go there. Be thankful. When my daughter was 5 and would go to her dad's for the weekend, she would call me from the closet at noon saying she wanted to come home because she was hungry and daddy wouldn't wake up :(

I experienced that with my daughter who is now 15 years old. Her dad and I divorced when she was a year old. He was always part of her life, but in a negative way. However, when she became a tween, she fought me tooth and nail to spend as much time with him as possible while both of them made my life a living nightmare. Eventually, I turned her over to her dad because I got sick of their shenanigans. Some girls just adore their dads. Dads can do no wrong even when it's so obvious. I never understood it because I always was more of a mommas girl. Some girls just need that daddy attention.

I want to give you a hug... It's her daddy, and she loves him. She loves you too very much. It's easy for you to see all his faults, but she just see her daddy. It's okay that you feel jealous, but you need to let the bitterness go. I think only time will heal you, she'll probably be an adult and tell you how much you have always meant to her, for being her cornerstone. She's just a little girl right now.
Lots of hugs are going out to YOU! You are a GREAT Mother!!!

Well... if you eat at home all the time and get a chance to go to a fancy restaurant, how do you react? Are you excited? Do you feel guilty for not wanting to eat at home? Do you like home cooking any less because you go out to eat?

I am sorry your feelings are hurt but remember your daughter is with you all the time and it is a special treat to go with her daddy. girls need their daddy and it is important to encourage that bond rather then be jealous of it. Feelings are feelings and you can't help but feel that twinge I am sure, but you can talk yourself down from it. Remember that even though she is so excited to see him, you are her rock.. it is you who she will turn to when she is hurt, when she is in the need of something. Be glad he is coming around and being the daddy for her.

as a divorced mom of 2-your feelings are totally normal...PT DADS-are referred as...DISNEYLAND DADS...they get everything they want,no boundaries etc.plus they love their daddies.ive been divorced 28 yrs-i still get that nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach when my kids go to their dads or talk about him an his vulgar wife(yes shes truly vulgar) i still just listen-smile an deal with it silently...took me a long time to realize that our kids know we are their rock-and we will be there no matter what...but they still have the want an need for daddys love an attention-an we cant change that-hopefully he will do the right thing an stay a postive in her life.take these wkends off an use them to your total benefit...good luck

Thank you for posting this question. I have dealt with the same thing with my 6 y/o daughter. She sees her Dad every other weekend too. She gets so excited to see him and it breaks my heart. Reading all of these answers has made me feel better. I'm so sick of being the one who enforces the rules and is "unfun" because I have her most of the time. He gets to take her places and buy her stuff because he only has to provide for her every other weekend. I have fought really hard to stick to my guns and not "compete" with him. I believe that as she gets older she will see what he is doing to buy her affection, and will come to respect me and appreciate me for always being there and giving her what she needs, not just what she wants. That being said, it's still hard when she comes home full of stories about where she went and all the fun she had. There has been a recent switch where she leaves super excited and comes home sad. He has a girlfriend and she has 2 kids; he now has to work hard to support them. She's been coming home feeling sad because she spends more time with his gf than she does with him, and she's really upset by the loss of time with him. I'm torn by all of this. Part of me wants to rejoice that reality is setting in, but the other part of me is sad for her because she's so sad about it.

Sorry for such a long post. This is a subject that I struggle with constantly. I want to do what is best for her but my hurt feelings make it hard to stick to my guns. You are not alone, and I have faith that things will get better for all moms in our situation. If you ever need to talk, feel free to send me a message. Keep your chin up; you are being a great mom, and she'll thank you for it one day!

Nope, not alone. My sister's husband died when their baby was 9 months, so she's essentially been a single mom. Her son barely acknowledges getting to see her, but when he gets to visit the grandparents, who are a lot like a 2nd set of parents, he gets SUPER excited. It used to make her feel bad, but eventually she realized that she is the one that is always there, like the air he breathes, so it makes sense that he'd take it for granted.

Sounds like you're doing a great job as a mom :)