Daughter Says That She Sees a Scary Ghost

Updated on January 04, 2011
K.K. asks from Bayonne, NJ
21 answers

Hi everyone. My 2 1/2 year old daughter says that she sees a very scary ghost named Joshua in her room, mainly at night. She started saying this to my husband and I a few weeks ago. I have been telling my daughter that there are no such things as ghosts, but angels. I have asked her what he looks like and what does he say to her. She says that he has blue hair and green eyes and that he picks coconuts. She does not see him everyday, but when she does she has this frightened look in her eyes and wants to sleep in our room or have my husband stay with her until she falls asleep. My husband tried putting her to bed the other night and then all of a sudden she started hysterically crying and ran into our bedroom. She said that he was by her diapers. We were stopped at a red light yesterday and she said that he was sitting on top of a house. I don't know if she is making this up or not. I had my house blessed by a priest about 2 months ago, before my son was born. Has anyone out there experienced this? I need help on how to handle this situation because I don't want her to be afraid in her own bed and room.

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A.B.

answers from New York on

I have a 2 1/2 year old and a new baby too. She isn't experiencing ghosts, but she has very recently named her hands "deedee" and "gogo". She talks to them and uses their names to describe what she is doing.

Anyway, I think it is the combination of feeling a little lonely when i have to pay attention to the baby and this age where they become so aware and their imaginations soar.

My suggestion is to tell her to talk to him and become friends with him. Maybe you can say hi to him too if she says he is in the room. Embrace him. If you act scared that it can be a ghost, she will be very scared too. If you are accepting and excited about her new friend, she will have nothing to fear.

If you don't believe it is a ghost, she won't either. If you have her convinced that he is her friend and she still acts scared, re-visit the situation.

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T.P.

answers from New York on

Wow, I would be very concerned b/c she is too young to know what a ghost is. I think I would have her sleep in the room with me until this passes.

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

While I do believe in the possibility of ghosts I am guessing that with a new baby in the house it may have more to do with her feeling insecure and wanting more attention. Try giving her some extra attention (even if you have to get someone else to watch the baby for an hour or so). I have a 1 year old and an almost 4 year old and the older one has quite a vivid imagination. He also came up with all kinds of tricks to get more attention when we brought the baby home (it is finally settling down after a year). Sometimes he talks about monsters (but is usually not really fearful except not wanting to go to sleep by himself, but he has a number of tricks to put off bedtime too). He did talk about ghosts when he saw cartoons about it around Halloween. As I said, there may be ghosts in the world (I have always been interested but have no personal experiences), but what your daughter is describing has the quality of something imaginary (blue hair, picking coconuts, sitting on a house). Kids younger than 6 or 7 can't always distinguish real from imaginary. I think the book another poster suggested was used in my son's preschool as well and it was really good. They read it and then drew a monster they imagined and wrote "Go away Monster until _______ says you can come back" on the picture.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

go away big green monster is a great book, very empowering. with the new baby, a little more alone time with mommy might be what she needs too. also, i found this out quite by accident, but my son had begged for one of those old disco lights, it spins with different colored lights, and they went to sleep with that on for the past 2 years. i also got that rainbow in my room light. it doesnt work so great, but the 2 things were just a great distraction going to bed. glow in the dark stars on the ceiling too, stuff like that. my kids have a lot to look at and they usually fall asleep looking. i was worried about starting bad habits, but the disco light recently broke and they were upset about it for a night or so, i told them i would fix it tomorrow, and they have forgotten about it now. do you read to her before bed? some kind of settling routine? prayers might be good for her. good luck. if she is really terrified, i would do what it takes to comfort her until you guys work it out, the poor thing.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

If your daughter has had NO exposure to ghosts through TV, vivid halloween displays in the neighborhood, books, movies, etc., I'd say maybe you have a ghost. If there was any place she may have learned of ghosts, it may be her imagination, either way, it is scary for her.

My parents have a very old house, with lots of rumors of ghosts. My sister-in-law thinks my 2 year old niece saw one at Thanksgiving. (personally, I never did, but one of my brothers may have)

I think you have good advice with the monster spray (again, especially if she has had any exposure with cartoons, christmas specials, halloween specials, etc.). Also, leave a night light on in her room, but while you don't want it to be too bright, make sure it's not somewhere that it casts scary shadows either.

The only other thing is, what did the priest use to bless the house? Was it holy water, or did he use something to sweep out evil spirits? Santoria, for example, uses mercury. they sprinkle it on the door threshold and sweep it out of the house, to sweep the evil out. they also sprinkle it in babies' cribs. Mercury causes mad hatters disease, which makes you act "crazy as a mad hatter" (mad becuase they used mercury in the hat making process and it made them act crazy) Just making sure there is not an environmental component.

Kids have fears, they have imaginary friends, and they may see ghosts (real or imagined). I would do what you can ahead of time to try to ward off the ghost, and then comfort her just as you would if she had a nightmare when it happens. If it continues to happen, but only in her room, you could try setting up a different area of the house for her to sleep in (if you have the space). Good luck!

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L.N.

answers from New York on

I usually tend to seek other explanations when it comes to kids and ghosts, but in your case, I feel your daughter is seeing something. Let's rule out the obvious. Was she present when the priest blessed the home? did anyone talk to her, or could she have overhead what was going on or being said, or why was the house being blessed? btw, why did you have the house blessed? do you guys talk a lot about things like this? If the answers are no, then you move on to other possibilities.
Let me tackle one thing. I totally agree the older child reacts to the new addition...baby. But in other ways: like being unhappy, seeking attention, if potty trained, then going back to diapers. Whiny and clingy to mom or to whomever is giving most attention to baby. At her age, she cannot possibly be making up ghost stories just for attention. She would be doing that throughout the day not just at night. Something is terrifying her, and seems to happen at bedtime, or when nighttime falls.
So, here's a suggestion, while you can go and talk to a priest (don't involve your daughter if you do do this), but in meantime, every night take her to all the spots in her room, closet, under bed etc. Use a flashlight to make it more serious so she knows you are being serious. After you've checked all the spots with her, sit down and talk to her about not finding anything. Get her a lantern, a night light, and a favorite stuffed animal. If you don't have one, put a baby monitor in her room, tell her how it works. Send her to your room while you're in her room and talk to her. Afterwards explain to her that you will be listening to her room all night every night, and that if there is any noise you'll come running. She needs to feel protected, watched over etc. In meantime, do not take her ghost story as a joke. LIke I said, I am so not into ghost things at all, but this is exactly what I would do if it were my child going through this.
are there ghosts? i don't know. nobody does, but if a child is going through this whether sometimes or frequently i'd be trying to find out what is going on.
good luck

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A.P.

answers from New York on

personally, I would speak to your priest. There might not be ghosts in this world, but there are demons. Talk to your priest and ask him for help with this situation.

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C.K.

answers from New York on

Hi K.
I read somewhere once that you can set aside several minutes before bed when the child can draw out what she thinks the ghost will look like or what silly things he or she might do (the ghost). Just to kind of get it out of her head and onto paper may help her. I've never tried it but it's an idea. You could also try using as much humor about it as possible, help her make it seem funny, or even helpful for her--what could it help her with? Good luck!
C.

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H.P.

answers from New York on

When I was little, I had the same thing... I used to "think" I saw a dragon. I named him and everything. Sometimes he was nice, sometimes he was terrifying.

Perhaps you should get the book "Go Away Big Green Monster." It will empower her to be able to tell the monster/ghost to go away. It essentially deconstructs the "monster." It's a wonderful book that I found out about when my oldest was in a toddler program at pre-school.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

My friend's daughter has nightmares. So she keeps a spray bottle on her night table and calls it monster spray. She uses it around the room beofre bedtime and it keeps the monsters away! Should she have a nightmare, my friend will go in and spray in the middle of the night and it usually works. Give it a try - can't hurt. Now if only she had new little brother spray :) I'm sure that this is all about the new baby so hang in there and this too shall pass. Good luck.

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N.B.

answers from Jamestown on

Well..my oldest daughter saw a lady angel float through her window in her room when she was 4. I found her screaming under the bathroom sink.

I do not rule out these types of situations. We had a "ghost" named Julia follow us from one house to another. She would watch over my youngest son. The initial house when she made her presence known actually had a fire a long time ago and they were killed in it. (her, her husband, and their baby) We checked it out a few years later and it turned out her husband killed their baby and covered it up with the fire.

Anyway, she stuck around for a few years at the next house. My youngest son was having trouble in and out of the hospital due to lead poisoning from the first house. He ended up setting the house on fire when he was 4. Julia's voice woke me up and we were able to get out of the house.

My son during this time also had imaginary friends(7). I did not feel their presence so I let it go.

I am a Christian and a firm believer that ghosts, spirits, and their echos still exists. Check out the library and local newspaper to get the history of the house and town. Joshua might have lived there back in 1883 or 1983. Just a hunch.

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G.S.

answers from New York on

It's scary for a child especially. My oldest daughter has seen my mom since she was about 14 months old & she in now almost 12. The weird thing was that my mom died 3 weeks before she was born, but we have spoken w/a few different mediums who have told us that my mom is her guardian angel. The first time this happend was when we were in Florida staying at my parents old house about a year & a half after my mom died. Then she saw her sitting on the chair at the hospital next to her when she had hemorraged from having her tonsils out & then when they almost lost her on the operating table she asked me who the blonde lady in the maroon suit was (that was what my mom wore the day she was buried) my mother-in-law even has a photo of what looks like an angel next to my daughter - one doesn't have the image & then the next photo taken does - if your daughter is sure this is what she sees you may try asking her to see if you can talk to him. Maybe ask him to try not to scare her - I know it sounds crazy, but we went thru the whole sleep thing too & this worked. It validates what she is telling you, but also puts her mind at ease. Good luck!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
Get yourself a can of air freshener, tell her it's monster spray and spritz a little around her room before bed.

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C.B.

answers from New York on

Hi - I don't mean to freak you out, but I would take her to a child psychologist for an evaluation. At this age, their imaginations are vivid, but you mind want to rule out if something more serious is going on. Also, I'm guessing that a therapist will have some experience with "ghosts", and may be able to help you work through it with her. I'd put money on it has something to do with the new baby - she is making sure the baby isn't the only one getting attention!

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I believe in ghosts, never have seen one myself. I also belive that 2 yr olds have very vivid imaginations and can not fully make sense of everything. I have a 2.5 yr old and over the last few weeks he has developed several different fears of monsters outside, things in his room, etc. I would sleep in my childs room if he kept speaking of a ghost though. Just to comfort him and to be directly involved. Just keep talking with her and supporting her. I like everyone else's advice too. What has she been watching on tv or reading in books? I think a lot of my sons fears are stemming from what he is seeing, especially after Halloween! He is a very smart little boy and has always over analayzed things, so maybe your daughter is doing that too. He'll flat out tell me a certain color monster is coming either from across the street, or from the backyard (he's developed a fear of the outside after dark) He's also told me is scared of "widget the robot" from wow wow wubzy. He has a love/hate relationship with woody from toy story and he is so afriad of Nemo (the opening shark scene) Clearly those are things he's seen though and not ghosts but he does have a vivid description of monsters...she sounds really really scared though so I would just stick by her side for a while...no harm in comforting your scared toddler! I do often think that when my son is "afraid" that he is trying to get close..now he's not as afraid as your daughter sounds though, so it may not be the exact same situation. I just think as much comfort, love, support. attention, explaination and understanding are all that you can give! It will pass...

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C.O.

answers from New York on

I am not going to comment on whether the ghost is real or not. You'll never prove it, and though I believe in ghosts, you'll never know for sure.
I am surprised that no one has made this comment--You brought a new baby home 6 weeks ago! This is huge! She must be feeling so insecure and uncertain! My two boys are 2 years and 2 days apart--so we went through all kinds of things when we brought the new one home! No ghosts, but from my oldest boy came all kinds of negative personality traits and agression that was not normal for him. Now 4 months later things are much much better.
I have heard that the monster spray works well. But plan some special time or activities for just you and her and i bet you'll see Joshua less and less as she regains her confidence.
Good Luck!

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J.G.

answers from New York on

Hi K.! I would first try to find out if she's not seeing any movies or cartoons that have scary like characters in them. You know kids have wild imaginations! If this isn't the case, if you have a Bible, try reading something out loud in her room before she goes to sleep from the book of Psalms. Try praying with her. I'm sure this will help!

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D.

answers from New York on

Whether you believe in them or not, ghost do exist. And children tend to see them more then we do. If she sees him tell her to tell him to go away. That this is her house and he needs to leave. Do not act scared when she talks about it, because that may only scare her more. If she comes to you and says she sees him speak in a clear voice "Joshua go away." If that doesn't help you may need to speak to a priest about coming into the home again.

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Hi K.,
I like most of the advice you have here (most). You mentioned that you had your house blessed--if you are a believer you might speak to someone in your church you are comfortable with. Just something I would probably do (to make life happier for a while) is to bring in a blanket and sleep with my kid for a few nights. I don't think that would become a habit but you would be there if she sees anything, and if not, then if she is imagining it it might go away, and if not, at least she will have had a few restful nights. I have known children (young toddlers) who said they saw someone (who usually had a name), and would even tell them to do naughty things. It can be scary because you don't know what is imaginary and what is not, but anything like that is frightening to the child. I had very frightening and realistic dreams as a child and I found that if spent some time praying before bed I slept better, or if I was in a bad dream, if I started to pray in my dream, that I would wake up or sleep more deeply. This could be nothing, it could be something, but I like the idea of researching your home so you know anything sad that has happened there, and would also encourage you to speak to your priest if this does not go away. (I think we are all taking this rather seriously, for good reason, but also make sure she is not watching any cartoons with a similar character. My son has become "obsessed" with ghosts because he keeps watching version of A Christmas Carol this time of year. No ghosts at Halloween, just Christmas. :)

A.A.

answers from Anchorage on

OK! I have a friend who's 2 year old talks to her self, As If she was playing with other children, Not a problem till they moved into there new(but old) house. The family has been experiencing strange things like, finding there front door wide open, hearing moaning sounds( I know that sounds wiered) But it is happening. They found some of the mothers cloths in a plie outside! ???? There 2 year old screams hysterical at night, TILL ABOUT 3 IN THE MORNING SHE WILL INSIST ON GOING BACK TO HER OWN ROOM AND SLEEP IN HER OWN BED! She tells her father that they are calling him a (bock-bock) a chicken. ???? This child is a very smart child, They parents are very upset from this. As I said they have only been in this house for a couple months, They people that lived in it previously sold it do to hes terminally ill wife. They have know idea what to think. Alaska has alot of strange happs. But mostly millatary sightings from the past. Is there anyone that could suggest what this might be. ????

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S.C.

answers from New York on

I was going to make the same suggestion that Mindi did, but take it one step further and check the entire room before your daughter goes to bed to show her there are no scary things in her room. Some kids have very vivid imaginations and at 2 1/2 years old they certainly don't have the capacity to know the difference between the imagined and reality so everything seems real -- and sometimes it's scary. As difficult as your daughter's imagination is making things right now, it's a gift to be nurtured and channeled positively because it can lead to great things down the road.

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