16 answers

Daughter Is Peeing Her Pants After Being Potty Trained for 8 Years.

i don't understand? my 10 year old daughter in starting to pee her pants. She has been potty trained for almost 8 years now. I am going through a divorce with her Dad. She just spent 3 weeks with him and now pees her pants more often. is there something wrong with her or is she just being lazy?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Wel nothing Phyical os wrong with her. She is starting to see a counsler. So only time will tell. Thank you for all of you responses.

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I believe it is called regression, maybe just take it slow with her ask her frequently if she need to go hopefully that will help. My daughter is only three but has been potty trained for over a year and through my divorce she started to do the same thing. She is probably just stressed out and feels like it is her fault, even though you know it isn't. My 3 year old told my father the other day that it is her fault that her daddy doesnt want to see her anymore. So talk to her see how she really feels, then approach it that way. I hope this helps you.

L.

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My daughter pees her pants for a couple of weeks after she gets home from seeing her dad. She's 7, but this has been going on for a few years. It's so consistent, that it has to be related to seeing her dad. She also had a hard time when we moved up to San Francisco from San Diego.
I don't think it's about being lazy. I think it's about being on emotional overload.
I wish your family the best.

1 mom found this helpful

My 8 year old went through that.
Try limiting her liquids after 6pm. If that's not the problem then it could be stress-related. Maybe not you because you're too close to the issue, but if she has a babysitter she's close to or a friend's mom suggest they try talking to her to find out if anything's bothering her. If she has a friend over to play, eavesdrop-you'll be amazed what kids say to other kids.
Good Luck!
K.

1 mom found this helpful

I second the other advice you were given & big hugs!! Life changes are really stressful on adults - just imagine if you had no control over the situation!

Definately have her checked out by a Pedi & maybe a family therapist. My daughter went thru the same thing at 6 when she didn't like going to school. Turns out her teacher was mentally abusing her & forcing her to go into the Kindergarten room (without my permission) when she didn't do something that the teacher told her to do.

You may need some major mommy/daughter time, it took my daughter a long time before she would fess up about what was going on.

1 mom found this helpful

I believe it is called regression, maybe just take it slow with her ask her frequently if she need to go hopefully that will help. My daughter is only three but has been potty trained for over a year and through my divorce she started to do the same thing. She is probably just stressed out and feels like it is her fault, even though you know it isn't. My 3 year old told my father the other day that it is her fault that her daddy doesnt want to see her anymore. So talk to her see how she really feels, then approach it that way. I hope this helps you.

L.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Jen,

I would recommend two things. First bring her to her pediatrician to make sure she doesn't have a urinary track infection or bladder infection. She will probably have to pee in a cup. Usually blood work is not needed. If that all pans out to be all clear, then I would consider counseling.

It may be a phase but at her age a very embarrissing phase. Children can be quite cruel! As for sleep overs and other things, you may want to put them on hold until this is resolved. As for seeing her father, it could be an issue, but unless its a very bad enviroment or dangerous enviroment, then you cannot keep his child away from him.

The last thing that comes to ming and (GOD FORBID) but do you think she has been molested? Thta also is a possibility, though it would be the last one I would look into unless you have suspissions.

After being potty trained for this long, its either medical or personal. I wish you luck. If you do feel that it is medically motivated then don't except "lack of attention" as your answer. There is an expert in every field. I don't know which one to referr to but I would insist on somebody that deals w/ bladder issues. Your doctor is a specialist in pediatrics, not bladder problems.

Good luck!
H. B.

1 mom found this helpful

It isn't uncommon for kids to regress when they go through a major change in life (like a parents divorce). You didn't say which daughter this is, is she the oldest, middle or youngest? She may be doing it to get extra attention from you (or her dad) or she may be hoping that if you and her dad have a "baby" to take care of that you will stay together (even if she can't say so in words).
When my middle child was born, my oldest son was almost potty trained and we reverted back to diapers for several months before we could finally finish potty training (once he realized that he wasn't being replaced and didn't have to act like a baby again for us to love him). I know your daughter is older, but it could be the same kind of reaction.
I doubt she is just "being lazy", as having wet pants is uncomfortable and can be really embarrasing if it happnens around her friends. I would certainly take her to see the Doctor just to rule out any medical causes, and perhaps the Dr. could refer you to someone she could talk to about everything she's going through (the divorce, you dating someone new, etc.)
As for sleepovers and such, they have overnight diaper type things (GoodNights) that look like real underwear that she could use until the problem is fixed so the other kids don't tease her.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Maybe you should take her to the doctor, she may just have a bladder infection.

It may sound strange but it is very likely a control thing.. Not because she cant control her bladder but she cant control whats going on in her life.. I have seen many children start having potty issues after going through major life changes.. you might try givin her more choices.. more control over things in her daily life.. I would also suggest natural consiquences/ cuase and effect.. Let her change herself and clean up the mess when she has and accindent.

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