14 answers

Daughter Humping the Floor

How do I get her to stop? She has done it for about a year. Less now than it was. She is 3.5 and usually does it when she is bored or tired. She really goes at it and we really want her to stop, or at least do it in in private.

I don't want to yell. Don't want her to feel she is bad or wrong in any way. I just want her to quit doing it out in the livingroom or whatever.

We have tried telling her that is not something people do in front of others, and she should go to her room and do it. We have simply asked her to stop, have said she could (bribe)either go to bed now if she kept doing that, or could watch a little more tv before bed if she didnt.

Any ideas on how to get her to cut it out without damaging her little psychie? (sp?)

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

My kids did that too, I also got embarrest by it and still do with my 3year old. Her legs just don't want to stop moving. She's jumping but since her head and arms are on the ground, it looks like she's humping. What I did was I would tickle her, that would tire her out the rest of the way. A much happier & fun way to think of it.

More Answers

If, as you said. it is most often when she is bored or tired it might be more about sensory input than sexual exploration. When our systems get tired we often look for calmming repeative movement. Deep pressure and vibration can help to calm the nervous system instead. If you think she is tired try cuddles, hugs, and deep pressure massage. If you think its boredom try a toy like a bumble ball for vibration or give her a piece of very hard gum to chew on for deep pressure. You are right not to make her feel bad just try some redirection with a sensory component.

2 moms found this helpful

Someone posted the same question regarding her 6 yr old and this is part of my response to her:

Don't freak out - it is not totally uncommon. Explain about privacy and that she can only do this in privacy and that those are HER private parts and NO ONE else is allowed to touch them. I would probably say "Do you need some alone time in your room?" when she does it.

This is called "self-stimulation" and kids who self-stim often masturbate, or rock back and forth, often before sleep, etc. It is similar to thumb sucking and they get comfort and calming from that, especially when they are alone. It may be your daughter's way of physically comforting herself and releasing stress/tension. Just like some kids get to the point that they can't go to sleep without rocking, some kids begin to need/depend on this release. It is also very common in neglected or abused kids, especially in orphanages. They don't get much physical contact or comfort and this is one way to create those comfort feelings. (not that I'm suggesting your daughter is neglected.)

You might try to give her some extra time and attention... rock with her if you can. She may be experiencing some extra stress or going through a needy period and needs some extra help in calming and comforting. Help her remember that you can comfort her and give her physical contact, she doesn't have to do it herself. :)

1 mom found this helpful

Hi A. V-

Most likely, your child is doing this for attention, since negative attention is better than no attention, right? So-as soon as the behavior begins, pick her up, put her in her naughty chair for 3-5 minutes, say very calmly, "We don't act like that." Be consistent, and be strong. She will tantrum. Her psyche is not being damaged. Do not allow the behavior for even 2 seconds! It is self-rewarding.

Make sure that she has adequate outside activities to entertain her. Make sure that she is not imitating any adult or other child's behavior. Find ways to give her positive attention.

You will be just fine, and so will she :-) Hope this helps, S.

My kids did that too, I also got embarrest by it and still do with my 3year old. Her legs just don't want to stop moving. She's jumping but since her head and arms are on the ground, it looks like she's humping. What I did was I would tickle her, that would tire her out the rest of the way. A much happier & fun way to think of it.

Hi, Amy and Laura

I have been discussing this type of behavior with my pediatrician since my little girl was about a yr old. She claims that this is hormonal and to not call attention to it or make her feel embarrassed. She mentioned that when she begins to do this to speak to her calmly and let her know that that this should be done in private and in her room. I can honestly tell you that this has happened very randomly in the last year. She is 4.5 now. Don't worry , it isn't a major problem.

It sounds like it could be related to a possible yeast infection causing itching, or maybe she has a sensory issue and the stimulation goes hand in hand with that? There are many potential reasons.....

Here are some links with info:

http://www.drgreene.com/21_606.html

http://www.babycenter.in/toddler/development/socialemotio...

http://www.ehow.com/how_###-###-####_deal-toddler-masturb...

Best,
C.

My daughter too did this and we actually talked to a counselor regarding it because it seemed excessive.It always seemed when she was tired or bored like when she was watching TV. They said the same thing...tell her she needs to do it in her room or in private and just stick with that. As they said above, it is completely normal.

M.

I have read that it is usually a nervous habit. The book suggest to spend some more time cuddling with the child or distracting them with a game or project. Hang in there. It is normal

My niece did the same thing when she was your daughters age. The pediatrician said it is normal. She is just trying to soothe herself. The child doesn't know that it is "humping". He said she would grow out of it and she did. Be patient and try not to get angry at her for it.....she doesn't understand and if it makes her feel better at this age I would say let her. Good luck........Oh by the way, my niece didn't do it on the floor, she did it on a big stuffed animal !!!!!!!!!! yikes

We deal with this at school sometimes and it seems one of the most effective things is distraction. Ask her to get something for you, or offer something to her that will involve her moving location or doing something else with her hands/body. At her age it's probably almost impossible to differentiate between private and public behaviors, and pleasure in one part of her body would have no particular meaning versus another part of her body. I think it's wise to not call attention to it, other than as you have done, telling her it's something to do in her room, but I'd even let up on that and just ask her to change the channel, or feed the fish or whatever might distract her.

My son kept touching his "private parts" when he was young so I just calmly told him that we only do that in private. We just continued to tell him that very matter-of-factly over and over again. I would sometimes just point him toward his room and remind him. It worked fine but I have to tell you the funniest part. We were in a store a year or so later and he saw a sign on a door in the back. He asked what it said. I told him that the sign said "Private." Then he asked me if that's where people go to touch their privates. We still laugh about it today and he is 19!

Hi A.,
Just to be sure, have you had her physically checked to make sure she doesn't have an irritation or infection or something that is causing her discomfort? My daughter had a vaginal yeast infection at that age. It was a shock to me and I had no idea that they could get one so young. Our peditrician said that it can be diet related. (My first thought was someone was being inappropriate with her -- that was a terrifying thought!)
But you do want to cover all the bases to be sure.
A resource that I recommend is Dr. Wm Sears, pediatrician in San Clemente, CA you can ask questions from his website:
www.askdrsears.com
He also recommends whole food nutrition for your childs health that I offer in my health education fitness and family practice.
Find out more here: www.sherryfritz.com
Let me know if you have any more questions or if you'd like to come to our next health education series!
S. Fritz
www.getfitandfab.com
866-508-2910

My mom said that I was a masterbater and she just told me that nobody wanted to see that and if I wanted to do it I had to do it in my room. She said that she never said that it was bad or wrong, just that nobody else wanted to see it. She said that I would always stop because I did not want to go to my room. Just be consistent with the rule!! -- only in your room and/or in privacy. Good luck!

She probably isn't thinking of the motions she is doing the same way you are. She doesn't know what humping is, you do. I'd say leave it alone, or just tell her to knock it off... It may be like thumb sucking, a comforting motion like rocking or something. Let's not go explaining what humping is at 3.5 years old. Kids do wierd stuff, it's our job to figure out what they need to stop it.
I had a boyfriend who was neglected as a child. He did alot of rocking type things. I'm not saying your girl is neglected or abused, but maybe she neeeds a little more stimulation from you...

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