Daughter Getting Sick at School Every Day

Is she actually having diarrhea or could it just be her way of getting out of a bad situation? I know at her age I had a teacher that was ruthless with me and I would do anything to get out of that classroom. I was "sick" all of the time. If it is actually diarrhea, she has a very severe case and should definately see a doctor.

I've been going thru a similar problem with my 4 year old and I recently posted the question about her chronic diarrhea. While all of the responses I received were informative, they also worried me about all of the possible diseases she could have. She had many tests, all of which have been normal. She just took 10 days of a probiotic (Florastor) to help balance out the bacteria in her intestines. I mixed it in her applesauce and she couldn't taste it (she even knew it was there). By the end of the 4th or 5th day, no more complaints of a tummy ache and by the end of the 7th day, no more diarrhea. Her problem was partly attention-seeking also -- she is now complaining about every other part of her body since she knows her belly is OK!! Good luck and don't stress out yet. Hopefully it's nothing major -- just nerves or a little bacterial imbalance.

I would strongly recommend taking her to the doctor. Diarrhea is not normal and should be evaluated, especially if it is ongoing and interfering with her day as you described.

This sounds like anxiety. I was sick for the first three weeks of high school-couldn't eat breakfast, saltines for lunch, fine at dinner, for three weeks! My daughter needs to be passed from adult to adult (especially at school) and needs to know everything that is planned out for the day and be reassured over and over.

It sounds like you understand this, but this is real to her. She is feeling an inappropriate reaction to a situation, but she feels it and you can't brush it off.

I HIGHLY recommend "The Anxiety Cure For Kids". It is not a quick fix, it's long term, but my daughter (now in 2nd grade) has made HUGE progress over the last two years. I wish my parents had had this when I was younger.

You are doing the right things with the food, keychain and picture. You may consider writing notes in her lunchbox. Keep reviewing that you will see her and do fun things (even if it's just reading or eating together). See if anything else makes her nervous at school and work with her teacher for smooth transitions, plenty of warning about change of schedule, etc. We have had to talk with her main teacher and PE, Music, Art, coaches... but they have all been wonderful about letting her take her time to get into things.

Anxiety is a lifelong challenge, but if she learns to work through it now, she'll be much better off.

Good luck!

Please consider that your child's symptoms may be physical rather than psychological. I just started reading up on something called celiac disease, which is a gluten allergy; those who have it exhibit symptoms very like your daughter's. I have been reading about it because I have experienced other symptoms that seem tied to CD. I'm registering for a free test in October given at The University of Chicago. It does not sound like you should wait that long, though. A trip to the pediatrician would put everyone's minds at ease, if it achieves nothing else.

How about irratible bowel syndrome. There is bloating and diahea. The cramping and pain is awful. Nerves and allergies can cause it. I have had to ware diapers when mine is bad. One probable cause could be reactions to protiens in wheat (gluteon) or milk (creasen). The tests to find out are not nice if you go to a regular doctor. You might try an alternative specialist instead. There vitamins and diets that can help. I am so sorry that she is so young and suffering from this. My son has a similar problem and the teachers also complain about the trips to the bathroom.

I hope you find help for her soon. I know part of it is emotions but finding the cause will keep her from feeling crazy. This is just a symtom of the real problem.

poor kiddo. i am sorry that you both have to go thru this. it sounds like you are doing everything that you can do to help her thru this. hopefully it is just temporary as she adjusting to a new schedule. if you work full time she wouldn't be seeing you while she's at school anyway right? just to be sure it isn't something physical i'd take her to the dr. best of luck to you.

This is how her body reacts to stress. Some children are naturally more sensitive.
My 16 yr had stomache pain for 3 days at school after she was cut from the dance team. I taught her a technique called EFT for emotion clearing and that resolved the pain. You can learn the basics on this site: emofree.com. It has been compared to accupuncture without needles because it is based on the energy meridians that run through our bodies. In a 2 minute sequence you use your fingers to tap places on the face & body to clear out emotional energy. It is now being taught in hospitals like Ressurection & Swedish Covenant. You can learn it and even tap for her.

My daughter had the same things happening to her ( now she is 9). It ended up that she was having anxiety issues. After talking to a social worker ( outside of school ) I realized that the pressures of school and other things going on was making her an nervous wreck. Some kids can handle it and some can't. Ask your pediatrician for a recommendation to a licensed social worker or pediatric psych. They do an evaluation and will let you know after 3 visits what's going on. May I suggest Smart Love Family Services. They have offices in Oak Park. ###-###-####

I'd say have her see a good GI doctor for a full workup and test for celiac disease as well. Also note that she can still have gluten sensitivity without having Celiac. There are also possible issues with other food sensitivities to keep in mind as well, especially if all the medical tests come up negative. Anxiety/panic attacks/stress might also be something to keep in mind or get her help for as well. That's my "2 cents".
Hang in there,
G. Spielman, LCSW
www.ginaspielman.com

Doctor first to make certain there is no PHYSICAL reason for this.
My daughter was 19 when this happened to her. By her 20 th B-day she was so sick I was worried about loseing her.. She had been to several doctors and had many tests.. It was finally diagnosed as very tiny ( microscopic) parasite in her intestine known as Giardia Lambleia ( spelling maybe off) . It was discovered through a blood test. My daughter was down to 86 lbs. and very sick. She is now healthy, and gifting me with my first grandchild.
The point is.. It might be more the emotional. See a doctor.

Is it possible for you to take an afternoon off to eat lunch with her? It may give her something to really look forward to and also give you an idea of what is going on at school. To me it sounds like a little girl who is homesick at school, but I would make an appointment with your doctor to rule out anything medical. I really think she could also benefit from taking a Probiotic (lactobacillus). They promote the growth of good bacteria in your digestive tract and can help with many digestive issues. Our family has been taking it for a few years and we are amazed by the results. Do your own research and see what you think. It may also have a "placebo" effect if you let your daughter know this pill will help her belly? Yogurt with live cultures have a similar effect but it isn't always easy to get kids to eat yogurt! Ask your doctor about it.

Good luck!

M., this just breaks my heart - I can't give you any suggestions but reading this gave me a concern. Have you made sure she isn't getting "picked on". I've heard that kids often get sick when they are being bullied. It sounds like you are making good attempts at alliviating her stress. I would make a call to my peditrician too. Good Luck.

Hello,

As a Kindergarten teacher, I have had children who miss being at home. Perhaps reading a few books and discussing them, such as Pocket Full of Kisses, I'll Always Come Back and I Love You All Day Long. Also, the idea of the picture and key chain are good. You may want to go a step further and give her a pocket token. It's something small that she can put in her pocket and reach in to feel it whenever she is missing you. It would also help for her to believe that life is not all rosey while she is at school. For example, with your younger children, perhaps your eldest doesn't know that you went to the park that day, or that fun was had without her. My last suggestion is that she sees a doctor about the stomach issues, and if he doesn't believe that there is a medical reason, versus an emotional reason, that it is discussed in front of both of you, so that she hears from him that there is no reason to be ill.

I will say that I know this is tough on both of you. Noone wants to send their child to school knowing that they will have a bad day. Sometimes, though, you have to get them to face it and provide coping skills so that eventually it won't be an issue anymore.

Don't worry, eventually this will pass. It is a part of growing up!

I love all the caring advice you are getting. One thing I noticed is your chance to have a good talk with your daughter while out for dinner and shopping. I think that one on one time is very important. If it has not been already happening, you can tell her going to school is part of getting older AND so is getting this special one on one time. I know it's not easy with 4 kids, but I would encourage doing that more often now and when she's adjusted back off some but not completely. All children need that from both parents. With all the little ones in your house, my guess is she has already been "missing" you before school started. If this doesn't clear up in a couple more weeks with using all the advice here, a therapist who does EMDR with children can help speed up the clearing. I do EMDR with adults and Creative Psychology in Cr.Lk.(also a business onthis site) does it with children.

Going through the same thing with my daughter in kindergarten except when she goes potty it isnt diarrhea. I call it the nervous stomach aches. Every morning before school she is in the bathroom and at school when i drop her off she cries. She has horrible anxiety about school. I think as long as the teacher is understanding and you guys keep communicating she will get through this. First grade has to be hard and i notice you work but if you can set something up to where you can have lunch with her every friday that might help. I gave my daughter a locket and put a picture of me in there and told her if you miss me at school open the locket and i will always be close to her heart. Her teacher told me she looked at it a few times. Make sure the teacher stays understanding and doesnt start embarassing your daughter or not letting her use the bathroom and i think in no time it will get better. Good luck

Hi--My daughter is in kindergarten and basically was going through the same situation. She was going to the bathroom anywhere from 4 or 5 times before getting to school. She had the same reason for her stomach bothering her--I miss you too much. I have put a picture of her and I in her backpack and she can look at it when she is at school. I also pack her snack and write a little messages on her water bottle--"I love you, Mom" and we talk in great lengths about what is going on at school. Since I began writing the notes and the pictures things seem a little better. I did find out that a girl in her class was pushing her and calling her names and that a little boy in the class was pulling her hair. I did talk to the teacher and things have improved.

I would encourage her to be positive in school and always let her know that she can come to you with ANYTHING. My daughter was also afraid that if she told me about the girl and boy that were bothering her she would get them in trouble and they would be mad at her. I strongly believe that your daugher is going through something at school and maybe she is trying to deal with it on her own and can't so she is having these stomach issues.

Also, I noticed that you stated that she'll see you after school, I know that you work, but it doesn't state if you pick her up from school. I also try to pick my daughter up a few times that way it gives her something to look forward to at the end of the school day.

Best of luck to you!

Look for food allergies. If you can, there is a lab called ImmunoLabs out of Florida that will look at your bloodwork and do a complete immune system workup. It is not cheap. However, it is cohesive. It was the only test that found my 12 allergies and gluten intolerance (I do not have celiac, but a moderate allergy that can lead to celiac).
The tricky part is finding a doctor that will send the bloods to them. I would suggest doing this before just jumping to one or another assumption. My MD doc refused to do this but my chiropractor would and my health is amazingly better.
good luck.

While it may be nerves, it also could be an allergy or food sensitivity like Celiac disease. Check with her pediactrician to rule out those issues. If it is a separation thing when did it start, did you recently go back to work full time? Start devoting alot of time and energy into a sibling or other project? My daughter does have Celiac but also has anxiety because my husband works alot and she is scared something will happen to me, I can't even take the trash out without her following me.

Hi M.,

I'm sorry to hear that about your daughter. I do think she misses you but I think she feels extremely uncomfortable with her teacher and the school all together. At such a young age kids are very impressionable and younger ones get scared entering a lunch line or even walking down the hall where the bigger kids are.
My suggestion would be to ask her teacher if you could participate in some way in the classroom. If your daughter knows you are involved her nerves will subside on their own. At my sons school, we have a surprise reader on fridays (a parent shows up to read a book from home) and we have home room moms who come in to help for an hour or so. It's a hard commitment to make especially if you're working, but it will make the world of difference. And ask your daughter what she would like. So much will be revealed if you enter her in on the problem solving.
Lastly, has she had some sort of encounter with the teacher? My sons teachers assistand told him if she has to tie his shoe laces again she's going to start charging him a dollar. He didn't want to go to school for a few days and I questioned why because he was so excited the first week. This was 8 days after school started. He felt threatened to ask for help and really didn't want to tell me because he was embarrassed. He's learning but he hasn't gotten it yet. The point...Look at every possible explanation for her leaving class and getting so upset. There's a reason! Once I switched his shoes to velcro again and mentioned something to the TA he's been fine with going to school.
The kids are out of their comfort zone and in a strange environment with strangers. The best way to confront that reality is get involved. I hope this helps!!! Best Wishes!!!
C.

If she's having diarrhea every day, I recommend getting her checked for any medical issues. Probably a pediatric gastroenterologist would be the best sort of doctor to take her to. I take my daughter to Dr. Susan Nelson in Glenview. You could also ask your pediatrician for a referral. There is a blood test they can do for Celiac disease. Celiac disease involves an intolerance to gluten, which is in wheat products. Good luck!

My oldest daughter used to have complaints of "something" hurting when she was much younger than kindergarten age. I finally took her to the doctor and her analysis was an attention getter as EVERYTHING checked out ok. She prescribed some medicine that she quaranted tasted horrible and after one dose my daughter wouldn't have problems any more. Well she was right...........Robyn "smelled" the medicine and then hid it from me in a junk drawer in the kitchen I found it 2 years later when we moved. Needless to say the smell was enough to convince her to not have "headaches,tummy aches or whatever it was that hurt on a given day. I know it cost to go to the doctor's,but it was one office visit that was well worth it. Thank goodness,none of the rest of the kids ever had ideas like that. I don't know if maybe going to school at lunch time on occasion might help her adjust as well.There might even be a child she doesn't get along with well that is causing some of the problem. Or maybe she has a problem with the teacher. I realize she is awfully young to make her mind about things like that,but I certainly wouldn't rule it out either. Good luck and let us know how things work out. J.

Sounds like your daughter has Crohn's. I suffer from that as well. Is is so important to take her to a stomach doctor. A medication can really help her.

Good Luck and I pray that your daughter gets relief soon!

Sound like her body is taking on her stress. It's a big jump to grade 1.

Talk w/ the school counselor or social worker and see if they can check in on her. Sometimes a few play sessions, or girls' group in the beginning of the school year helps:)

I'd take her to the doctor to rule out anything medical. It could be nerves, but there may be an underlying issue. The neighbor across the street had stomach pains, and would not go anywhere because it made her feel like she'd throw up (she never did). But this child did not come to play once last summer, for fear she would get sick. So definitely, take her to be checked.

I see you work full time, but are you able to have lunch at school with her? We are allowed to go for lunch at our schools. Could you find an hour to volunteer in her class?

When my 9 yr. old was in first grade she had a hard time adjusting to a whole day of school. We put a family photo in the front of her folder. So sounds as if you have done that, on her bookbag. I also sent a note everyday in her lunch (she never wanted to buy). On occasion if she had a hard morning leaving, I'd email her teacher and she'd tell her what mom said (just hi, or have a good day, etc).

Good luck to you, I hope you get to the bottom of this soon. But definitely get her to the doctor ASAP, poor kid has got to be embarrassed about having to go to the bathroom so much.

Does she have problems at home on the weekend too? If not, then it probably is nerves, or is her diet different on weekends as compared to weekdays??

Keep the teacher and the nurse informed, and tell your daughter if she has an accident the nurse is used to it and not to be worried about needing to go for a change of clothes.

Let us know what you find out.

My little sister had this issue some 25 years ago. They tried everything. Finally the Dr. decided to give her a "medicine" that would cure her tummy aches and other issues. It was a sugar water, placebo. Well, it worked! Her stress induced illness went away. School phobia is a hard thing to deal with, Good Luck
K.

Hi M.! Have you taken her to the doctor? They may test for several things......if nothing else, she may have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) - that can be exacerbated by stress :( This may need to be treated with a change in diet, as well as some stress-coping strategies.

Sorry you (and she) are going through this.

Well, it's definitely stress related. In terms of the stomach: up the yogurt, try Kefir, or supplement with acidophilus. I swear, it fixes everything.

On a more personal note, I had stomach aches and headaches every day in school. It was early onset depression, and was triggered by the teasing of the other kids, and the perceived disapproval of my teachers. I once peed my pants rather than ask to go for fear of being scolded, because she had just told me I raised my hand too much.

If there is a family history of depression or anxiety disorders, or even seizure disorders, I would make an appointment to get it checked out. It seems a few visits with a therapist wouldn't be out of order here, either, so she can learn some new coping strategies independent of you.

I hope this gets better, and I do feel for her.

Good luck.

In high School my son had the same problem. I teased his girlfriend cause he had what seemed like morning sickness. He was throwing up before school and often I had to go get him or be in touch with the nurse many times throughout the day. He lost a lot of weight too. After taking him to the Dr. and seeing a psychologist only once, we realized that he was under a great deal of stress about going away to college. It also had to do with him not getting enough sleep. if he didn't get his 8 hours, he was sick and throwing up! After much talk time and assurance that he could stay at home to go to school and started getting the right amount of sleep, he did better and is great now.

There is a book you can read with your daughter called the kissing hand. It's about a baby racoon who didn't want to go to school and how the mom handled it. Maybe it will help. Also, half of a banana in the morning is good for many things. Make a few secrets between you and her and things for her to look forward to at the end of the day. An incentive type of deal with her. A few code things that when she sees it she will know you are thinking of her.

Sounds like you are already on top of things pretty good. Also I know panty liners are for ladies but maybe she would feel more comfortable with one in case of emergency. Good luck and know she will be fine eventually.

I am pretty sure it is medical here. Especailly after breakfast sounds like celiac disease with the tummy hurting and then direarrah all day. I bet she has cereal or pancakes or french toast all products taht have wheat or she could be lactose intolerant and the milk in the products will do this too. Does she have any mucus in the stool? have you had the stool checked for blood? Is she gaining weight appropriately?
I think it is food sorry once achild gets to school and gets going there are times they are ok. IF i had a tummy ache and dirreaha every day at school I would miss my mommy too.
I would take her to a pedatric Gi and or allergist. Sometimes this stuf doesnt show up on allergy or blood work but if you take wheat out of her diet for two weeks you should notice some improvement. If not then try taking milk out. Does she have any food allergies or intolerances?
HOpet his helps
hang in there you are at least on the right track;
Also do you talk to the social worker at school? Nothing big has changed? I would definitely check into this direarra thing it is just common sign and she has classic symptoms.
Good luck
J.

Hello M.,

My daughter went through something similar, first grade is all new and it can make children really nervous. I too did the picture thing which helped. I also picked my daughter up from school on Fridays which helped her stay at school all week. She use to work her self up to an anxiety attacks.
But we worked with her teacher and with the whole missing mom situation and after 1-2 weeks she loved being in school and loved me picking her up on Fridays and What I did on her first Friday she made all week and some after I made it just me and her time we would do dinner and ice cream.

hope this helps
good luck,
L.

sounds like it is stress related- is she getting teased at school? Yes, stress can cause physical symptoms- she really does have stomach aches, but school avoidance is not a good thing. I'd look into her classroom situation, maybe the school social worker can help out. She can learn stress reduction techniques.

I'd say take her to the doctor first to make sure that there isn't anything seriously wrong with her. Does she have this problem on the weekends or just during the week? If it's just during the week the I'd say it's nerves and anxiety. You work full time so she's accustomed to you being gone all day and even though she does miss you, it's something she should be used to. Also first grade is all day long. In our school district kindergarten is a 1/2 day but they go into a full day of school beginning with 1st grade. It's a lot for a little one to handle. If you don't work too far from her school, maybe you can make special arrangements to meet her for lunch once a week for a little while. My friend's son would throw up if he even attempted to eat anything when he started school. They work themselves up so much that it makes them sick. You'll have to be patient but also very firm with her. She can't go on missing long periods of time from her school day because she might start falling behind in her lessons. Then that is going to start another set of problems that you don't want to get into. Good luck M..

Hey M.,

Definately make sure that she feels safe and cover all grounds. I know it is difficult but you want to make sure that no one has done anything bad to her physically and emotionally. Continue to communicate and let her know that there are no secrets allowed she should always feel safe to tell you everything.
Talk with the Doctors also to zero out things like a gluten intolerance. crohns disease and anything else.

I'll be praying for you all

Hi M.,
Her sickness is stress. She is not faking it & you need to figure out how to reduce her anxiety. Talk to a school counselor.