Daughter "Flaps" When She's Excited

Well, hand flapping is a red flag for autism which may be why people are saying something. BUT not all autistic kids flap their hands and not all kids who flap their hands have autism. My daughter kind of flaps her hands when she gets really upset--she also has super strong emotions--happy, sad, mad, excited--you name it. She is not autistic (she does have ADHD--and I have never heard that hand flapping is related to ADHD so no worries). When my daughter gets excited she gets really giddy and silly and makes funny noises and sticks out her tongue too. Maybe you could just ask people directly why they think it is a big deal? Then you could just say "yes, she gets very silly when she gets excited but it's nothing to worry about."

if you brought her to play at my daycare for a morning I could tell you if it's normal 3 yr old behavior or something that is off. I've seen plenty of perfectly normal kids that flap and get excited, and I've seen the not so normal ones too.

Hi S.. First -- I am not a doctor. I've just done a bit of research on this very recently because of my son's repetitive motions. This info is from our Neurologist.

Based on your healthy description of your daughter, I would guess that this is a motor stereotypy, which is is a repetitive or ritualistic movement, posture, or utterance. From my understanding, a stereotypy is a simple way for the body to calm and soothe itself, although the person does not realize she is doing it.

There are two major types of stereotypies. One group is repetitive movements with a pathologic basis (commonly found in people with autism, etc.) The second group -- likely where your daughter falls -- is behaviors with a physiologic underpinning, commonly found in healthy people--rocking, pencil-tapping, biting/chewing. They can involve head (nodding) or complex movements. You probably know an adult who constantly taps his/her pencils, but isn't aware s/he's doing it. No harm and not a big deal.

If you are increasingly concerned, talk to your Pediatrician at your daughter's next well check-up. And you can always ask your Pediatrician to refer you to a Pediatric Neurologist if you want more of a "diagnosis." The Neurologist may order an EEG.

I hope this helps you feel better! I'll bet these will decrease as she ages and finds other ways to cope with excitement and anxiety.

I've seen otherwise normal people with these types of odd habits over the years, so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. You said she's fine, you know your daughter -- go with that.

Your daughter is fine in every way. Alot of children have different emotions and show them in different ways. My sister at a very young age when she got excited she would squeeze her hands together and make an unusual face, she grew out of it. As for the school suggesting an O/T if she isn't having any problems other than her excitement and she is acting like other children don't worry about it. Sometimes to when a school requests this it is put in her chart as having a problem and will stay with her throughout her school year which is actually red flagging her. Be sure to tell the teacher unless she is having no other signs of problems that you are fine with her behavior and if need be you yourself will have your physician check her not the Schools' O/T. You are not missing a problem, I think the school is being to nosey Pardon Me. I'm sure your child is not the only one who express' themselves in different ways. Ask the teacher this and see what response you get and make sure that the teacher isn't making her the center of attraction. This can sometimes happen which is very unfair to your child. I've seen this to many times. Good Luck!! Maybe sit in on her class some morn/aft. and watch the others. The teacher cannot say "no" to this request.

Hmm. If the teacher suggested an OT, then maybe there's something about the way she's flapping that reminds the teacher of other students she's had who had a similar mannerism and saw OTs. But if flapping when your child is excited is the ONLY such unusual mannerism she has, I wouldn't be concerned about it. What does your pediatrician say? Can you just tell your child not to stick out her tongue because it's not socially acceptable? When you tell her, is she capable of changing the mannerism?

Good luck! :)

Dear S.,
You know what my daughter did at that age? She insisted on wearing all her clothes backwards.
Thank God there was no such thing as people who tried to convince me she needed OT or an evaluation of some sort.
Her argument was, "Why would they put the tags in the back if they didn't want me to be able to see them?"
I didn't have a logical response to that.
She may have looked like a little backwards doofus to some, but, she was in kindergarten at 4 because her preschool said she was too smart for them to keep her. My daughter's clothes being backwards wasn't a signal of anything except she truly believed the tags were meant to be in the front.
Is your daughter getting excited being disruptive in any way?
Is she able to focus on things? Does she just blurt out with flapping at random or is it when she gets excited because they are doing something special and she's really happy about it?
Everyone shows excitement in different ways and at 3-1/2, unless she's being disruptive, I wouldn't worry too much.
Have you been to a skating rink where they get 80 people to do the Hokey Pokey?
Have you been to a high class wedding reception where they do the chicken dance?
What is the definition of weird anyway?

You might try teaching your daughter the song....
"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you're happy and you know it then you really ought to show it
If you're happy and you know it clap your hands."

She may find that more fun than "flapping".
If she's not being disruptive (other than getting attention for being silly), I wouldn't think it's a problem.
That's my opinion.
I think people freak out too much sometimes.

I wish you the best.

I think the other people need to get a life. how are you supposed to break her of what comes natural my 2 yr old does what his brother calls the teradactyl thing. he pushes his arm out behind him when hes play fighting. I honestly think yours and mine will outgrow it.

Sounds like autism to me. She should be tested. The sooner the better. The faster you can work with her, the better she will be able to do in school from kindergarten on. Good luck.

Hi S.-

I have a 8 year old son on the autism spectrum who flaps his hands. I also have a 2 1/2 year old who shows no signs of autism that flaps when excited. Flapping is one of those things that coupled with other symptoms could be a sign of something but on it's own probably is nothing.

When my 8 year old was 3 different little things popped up that I always overlooked. His little quirks didn't bother us or stand out as strange at all. As he got older and there were more and more little things it got harder to dismiss and we finally had him evaluated and found out he had Aspergers.

If you are looking at your child's behaviors objectively and know deep down that she behaves and socializes like most girls her age and this is just one little quirk she has, then I'd say just let it go and see if she grows out of it. However, if there are any other little things it's worth finding out for sure. When there is an issue it is so much easier and so much more beneficial to get them help at a young age.

Good luck,
K.

Hello S.,
Familiar with this also. My son when nervous or excited has jumped up and down and sometimes flaps. It is a sensory thing that some kids just do and grow out of or may be a red flag of something more. I looked into it further for my child and at age 3 it seems to have gotten a bit better but I did the OT service through Early Intervention for my child. They are great but truly it takes time as they develop to determine if your child could be diagnosed with a sensory issue. They did not feel my child needed additional services after age three. I find if I tell mychild to stop jumping each time he nervously jumps, it helps. Some kids are a bit more sensitive on a sensory level. My sisters son is 9 and still jumps up and down when excited. Don't get too concerned but keep an eye on it. Does she have a sensitvity to sound or bright light? Chat with your Pediatrician as well.

Sounds sensory to me - I wouldn't worry about it by itself. JMO

I think the teacher suggest OT because, as other people indicated, it could be sensory or autism or nothing at all! The thing is, if it is something, the early the therapy, the better, so you may want to check it out. However, I'e found that a mother's instinct is usually on the mark, so if you're not concerned by it, it probably is nothing! Just keep an eye out if you think she's not hitting other milestones over time!

C.
www.littlebitquirky.blogspot.com

Definitely ask your pediatrician to write a script for an OT evaluation. It cannot hurt, and you may be able to find ways for your daughter to have other ways to express herself!

Hi S....

My beautiful daughter has the same traits as your daughter...she's 4 years old and it started about 6 months ago. Whenever she got excited she would either flap/wave/shake her right arm...and if she was really excited she would purse her lips...really cute.

I never thought much of her behaviour putting it akin to a puppy dog wagging its tail. That's what I kept telling my partner. Until one day my partner freaked out and called me at work to tell me that our daughter was now wagging her leg...she freaked out so we immediately took her to the local GP that afternoon and we were told it's probably nothing...but to be safe...go get a CT scan.

We received the results today and the good news is there's no neurological concerns. The doctor told us it was just a simple TIC and that she would grow out of it the older she became. It was suggest we call back in 6 months time if she was still doing it. They say TICS can last around 12 months or more.

Looking back...I remember the first time she start to express her excitement through her arms, face and sometimes legs...it started off small then grew to what it is today. I understand where my daughters mannerisms come from....whenever I get excited ie watching an exciting game of Aussie rules (my daughter would have seen me do this) I play air guitar or air drums. Some do the mexican wave or scream/cheer...I play air guitar...and my daughter wags her tail. :)

I hope this has given you some sort of comfort S..

Regards,
T..

S.,

I would try to see a nuroligyst/psycholist. I would not try to self diagnose. My son had the same symptoms and was diagnosed with add, ocd, as well as tourette syndrome. He was five yrs old. an early diagnosis is a great thing. Don't let yourself get caught up in all the what can it be questions. There is a lot of help for what you are going through.

Take care,
M.

Hi S., please let me know what other people say. I have a 6 year old son who does this -- he only flaps his arms and jumps around. We've always thought it was cute and just his "thing" he did when he gets excited. But then my husband does this (in a much less obtrusive way). . But his Kindergarten teacher brought it up in the parent teacher conference.

What is OT? Like you, I never considered it a big deal.
K. B

Hi S.,
The flapping of her arms,could be nothing or not! It is however a red flag,or sign for autism,my sign does it when he is excitied too! The sticking out of the tongue is also a red flag! Do your reasearch,talk to her doctor,see a behavior specialist but what ever you do,act soon. The quicker she gets help the better!
E.

HI
A friends son did this all the time., He is now 17 and still flaps if he is super excited. Unless you suspect soemthing like Autism, I would not worry.

Hippity Hop
J.

Hi S.,

My son didn't start flapping until he was 5 - and I am not particularly concerned by this behavior. For him it was/is an affection - he started doing this after another boy in class did. Also, kids this young are still developing emotionally and neurologically (esp your young daughter). She doesn't really have many ways to express herself at this point. It is certainly worth a trip to the ped. to discuss and have an expert evaluate, but don't spend too much time and energy worrying when this could be just a developmental phase.

My son does this when he is "happy" excited about something. He has sensory issues, but I have also seen kids without sensory issues flap their hands too. I think if your child had autism you would have seen other evidence of it by now. I would mention your concern to your doctor and see if he sees the need to refer you to an OT for testing. If your daughter does have any issues you have plenty of time to get them worked out before kindergarten.

S., I assume you were asked to fill out a lengthy questionnaire at the 18 month checkup? My doctor's office did this for every child at this age and it was all about autism. Or, you may have had conversations with your child's doctor at the regular 2-year and 3-year checkups. If your doctor isn't worried, and you aren't worried, then I wouldn't worry. I think there is such a heightened awareness of autism, particularly with the hand flapping as a prominent sign. My daughter flaps her hands as well when she's excited and she is perfect in every way (super strong emotions as well--you'll have to tell me how you survived the terrible twos!). I also stop and think when she does this in public because I know what other parents must think. It's too bad when we second guess ourselves.

My son does this too. He is mildly autistic. He does get OT. My friend's son has a few sympotms of autism (he flaps too) but not enough to be fully diagnosed. They say he has PDD-NOS.
You should google signs of autism or PDD-NOS. Then you can look at the symptoms and see if your son has any other ones. If he does, you should get him evaluated by easter seals.
Good luck!!!
Whoops, I meant your daughter - not son.