21 answers

Daughter Does Not Bring Home Correct Materials to Do Her Homework? HELP

My daughter has been struggling in school since she started and is now in 5th grade. She had and IEP done and it states that she has a slight learning disability. The homework her teacher gives her is not hard for her to do but i can't get her to bring home the workbooks she needs to do the homework. We went thru this everyday last year, me asking her where the book is that she needs to do her homework and her crying saying that she can't remember. Her teacher last year assigned her a "back pak buddy" to help her organize. I think this embarrassed her a little but it seemd to help. Now with the new school year starting off she is already forgetting to bring home the correct materials. I am at a loss. Some friends have suggested putting her on medication but im not sure about that. I hate to see her fail, it breaks my heart. I don't know what to do to help her!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Is it possible to get another set of workbooks to keep at home? If she remembers to bring the one she needs, GREAT, if not you then would have one at home already. I just would not let her know if you do get them at home. Some kids would take advantage of that situation and get "lazy" about attempting to bring the needed supplies home if they know that there is already supplies there. (my daughter would)
Or maybe a reward chart/system for when she remembers to bring what she needs. She can get a stamp or sticker on her chart for every day she remembers then when she has X number of them or remembers her supplies for 3 days in a row, one week, whatever, then she gets the reward. The reward could be ice cream, a day in the park, extra tv or computer time, ... whatever she likes that is not too extravagant or expensive - something fairly simple. Then at the end of the semester or year if she has met a set goal then y'all can do something bigger to celebrate.
Just a thought, good luck

5 moms found this helpful

Ask the teacher for a set of books and workbooks to keep at home.
I did that because the books were too heavy for my daughter to manage in her backpack and they gave them to me. I still ask for extra math books and she's in high school!
LBC

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

You can ask that she get the added accommodation of an extra set of text books and workbooks for home! Then they are already there. This will mean you have to amend her IEP. Some school districts have books on CD. It really makes everybody's life much happier.

5 moms found this helpful

Is it possible to get another set of workbooks to keep at home? If she remembers to bring the one she needs, GREAT, if not you then would have one at home already. I just would not let her know if you do get them at home. Some kids would take advantage of that situation and get "lazy" about attempting to bring the needed supplies home if they know that there is already supplies there. (my daughter would)
Or maybe a reward chart/system for when she remembers to bring what she needs. She can get a stamp or sticker on her chart for every day she remembers then when she has X number of them or remembers her supplies for 3 days in a row, one week, whatever, then she gets the reward. The reward could be ice cream, a day in the park, extra tv or computer time, ... whatever she likes that is not too extravagant or expensive - something fairly simple. Then at the end of the semester or year if she has met a set goal then y'all can do something bigger to celebrate.
Just a thought, good luck

5 moms found this helpful

Ask the teacher for a set of books and workbooks to keep at home.
I did that because the books were too heavy for my daughter to manage in her backpack and they gave them to me. I still ask for extra math books and she's in high school!
LBC

5 moms found this helpful

I am a special educator and the parent of a child with a mild learning disability and attentional difficulties. You have received some very helpful responses. First of all, let me say you are not alone. There are very intelligent children everywhere who have mild learning disabilities and difficulties with focus, attention, and organization. I teach them and I live with one. These kids have average to well above average intelligence but for some reason they do not always achieve as well as their IQ's indicate that they should. Having an IEP and specialized services at school will help this. It also requires heavy parental support...which you are giving.

It sounds like the main difficulty your daughter is having right now is with organization, memory, and attention to detail. Your description reminded me of my son around 3rd grade...he's 17 and in 11th grade now. I would tell him to go get his shoes and he'd return with something totally different. He has always needed help remembering and keeping information "sorted". When he was identified with a learning disability, I also had him tested for an attention disorder. He was never active or over active, just inattentive. Tests showed he is ADD (inattentive type). He started medication at age 9 and still takes it today. He will tell you and anyone else that the medication made a wonderful difference in his life. In his words, "When someone asked me a question or to do something, everything I had learned in my entire life was rushing through my brain while I tried to find the correct response. My medication helps me to sort information and pull from the correct place. It makes retrieval more efficient." My son, like your daughter, could handle things academically. The poor organization and inattention caused most of his difficulties in school. Once he started taking medication, the "learning disability" part seemed to go away...those gaps closed.

I have watched my son do many things on his own to compensate for this attentional problem that will be with him for life. He carries around small pieces of paper with words or notes on it so he won't forget to feed his fish or get gas. He writes on his hand. He asks us (and others) to give him one or two directions at a time. If I give him a list of jobs, he may say, "I'm taking out the trash and getting the mail. I'll come back and ask you to repeat the rest when I'm finished."

On medication: It's definitely a personal choice! People with a diagnosed attentional disability are lacking a chemical in the frontal part of the brain that the rest of us have. Just like a diabetic needs chemical regulation in order to live, folks with attention disorders need that chemical to be able to remember, attend, and focus properly. I don't see it as "drugging". I see it as medicating a health issue that is necessary....restoring a chemical that isn't in the brain that should be in the brain. I chose to give my son medication to restore the chemical to his brain...just as I would have if he was diabetic, had a heart problem, or had high blood pressure. He has thanked me many times for helping him to help himself. I'm glad I didn't watch him struggle for years because I was afraid of what others thought about me as a parent.

Sorry, back to you. Having extra books & materials at home is an excellent idea. I like the backpack buddy idea too. Can her teacher made her a buddy for someone using her strengths so your daughter can see that we all have strengths and needs and we help each other out? Does your school subscribe to online versions of text books/workbooks? If so, get the username and passwords and utilize them. In an emergency, are there other 5th graders near you/in your neighborhood who would loan her the book when they have finished their homework? Is there some kind of physical reminder (like the old string on the finger reminder) that will help her to check for homework books before she leaves?

Good luck to you. Great things are possible. I was in your shoes several years ago and now I see a bright, capable young man doing extremely well in high school and preparing to apply to college. Most of the time he's so independent that I can't believe that those earlier years even existed. Hang in there.

4 moms found this helpful

hi, my now almost 26 year old had an iep in 1-6th grade. he had a language proble. it wasn't truly discovered until 3rd grade. in his iep the teacher had to sigh his agenda at the end of the day to make sure he had everything and then we sighed it at home. no one else even new this. it only takes a minute and all the teacher have to do was to look over it binder. maybe she can have a base list of things to always bring home. if the teacher has an e-mail have her send out an e-mail so you know what is going on. if the iep say's that this is what you all are going to do then she has to do it, i guess you already know that . anyway just remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel. does she have a folder just for homework? if not go out and get her a really cool looking one today and that way she can put her stuff in it right then when she is given the papers or she can write down what it is and put the book with the folder. anyway good luck and know you are not alone. i think all kids around this age do this. my 12 year old is always doing this. oh , if meds would make a real differance for her maybe you should consider them. it might make her life much easier for her and lower her stress about this stuff. i would hate to feel like that all the time. think of what it is like for you when you have a bad day and can't seem it get it together. she is having a bad day everyday. if you tried the meds and they don't make a big differance you can always stop them. talk to her and see how she feels about them. she may be wishing she could do something to stop the forgetfulness and the being so unorginised. anyway just my thoughts. wow i spelled a bunch of word wrong and don't have time to fix them. sorry. and god bless, mom of 7 R.
p.s. you might want to make it a rule that she ALWAYS brings all her books home every night wether she has home work or not. it isn't that big of a deal and that might work. my 10 year old is in 5th grade and she hasn't had a lot of homework yet.
p.s.s. if the school doesn't provide an agenda go out and buy her a neat looking day planner. maybe find one with peace signs or puppys on it what ever she is into. my 10 year old is all about peace signs, i was to 40 years ago. i just got old the other day. had my 50th. wow.

4 moms found this helpful

Get a double set of books. One set stays in school the other set stays home.
If it's workbooks, she can rip out the pages she's completed at home to turn in at school. It can go a long way to helping even the most disorganized student to stay on track.

3 moms found this helpful

I think that asking the school to allow a second set of workbooks at home would be very helpful. BUT, your daughter should still come up with a system to remember what she needs to bring home so she can learn to take on that responsibility. As soon as the homework is assigned, she should write it down on a list that she keeps in her backpack. At the end of the day, she should pull out the list and place each item in her bag, checking it off as she goes.

In addition, talk to the teacher. If this problem is truly related to her learning disability, then the teacher should help her fill her backpack at the end of the day, or assign a backpack buddy if that was a successful system last year.

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

I hope the answer to helping our children get organized is NOT drugging them! Those drugs are so dangerous!

It sounds like your daughter needs a good system. I would arrange a conference with your daughter's teacher and you can come up with a solution together. Perhaps she needs a backpack buddy again. OR, perhaps a calendar would help her. She should have a column for homework and then a column for materials needed. She should fill out the chart AS SOON AS SHE IS ASSIGNED THE WORK. You could enlist the aid of the teacher to remind the class to write down the work. I'm sure she isn't the only kid who gets mixed up or forgets.

Everyone has some kind of "disability." It's just something that they need in life that they are not good at. There are varying degrees of it. The important thing is that we learn how to cope with it. I was a scatterbrain in school too, so I needed a good system of writing down my assignments. To this day I have a long "to do" list which is a habit I got into in school. So, you see you are teaching her a lifelong skill of how to strengthen the things she is not good at.

3 moms found this helpful

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