Daughter (8) Wets Pull-up Before Sleeping

Updated on February 11, 2014
C.W. asks from Ozona, TX
8 answers

My daughter (8 years old) wears Goodnites pull-ups as she is regularly wetting the bed. She usuall puts them on before going to bed while changing in her pijamas. After that i usually tell her a good night story.
When i told her her good night story tonight i suddenly realized her pijamas was a bit wet around her private area, the way it looks if a diaper has leaked.
I asked her why she was wet there, at first she said she didnt know why, but i found out after checking her goodnites that she had peed in it and it had in fact leaked. I asked her why she didnt go to the potty, and she said she didnt want to... And i asked her if she had done that before, she said sometimes...
Is that normal? Why does she pee her pull-up while still awake? Does she care at all if she has a wet goodnite in the morning? What should i do?

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L.K.

answers from San Francisco on

My son does that too. I've decided to hold off on putting pullups on him, until right before bed. That's made all the difference =)

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

She's doing it because she can and because she feels lazy. There is absolutely no excuse for her intentionally using the pull up while awake. It also isn't healthy for her to sleep in a wet pull up all night for no reason. Make sure she pees before changing into her pajamas so that her bladder is completely empty when she gets into bed. Make it very clear that, if she is awake, she needs to use the toilet. Same should hold true in the morning - many kids will intentionally pee in their pull ups when they first wake up, rather than getting out of bed to use the bathroom.

At eight years old, there is absolutely no excuse for using the pull up when awake.

8 moms found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

what happened to her not wearing them anymore after those 5-6 were all used up from last month?

6 moms found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

You posted about this last month and got a lot of responses then about how your daughter needs to be out of diapers and pull-ups. You said then that the only issue had been "a small bladder" and a few accidents but you let her wear diapers during a ski trip so you wouldn't have to stop for her to get to the toilet, and she wanted to stay in diapers after that. It started out purely about your convenience on vacation (which frankly was a mistake but that's done now) and she has been able to play you and stay in goodnights for HER convenience at home. I think this is the kind of "intentional but not intentional" thing kids do -- she does not consciously realize she is manipulating you, and she does not go around thinking, "Ha! I'm going to get my way again tonight!" but she does know that goodnights mean she doesn't have to get up and pee if she doesn't want to, and she doesn't want to.

Please go cold turkey on this. Unless she genuinely has a developmental disability or physical problem that means she cannot control her bladder enough to get to the toilet, she should not be allowed to wear diapers (and goodnights are diapers!). She wet the diaper in bed because she could. Cold turkey, mom, and when she wets while still awake -- she has to strip the bed, put everything into the laundry herself, etc. She will fuss and fight and be cranky but if she does not clean herself and her bed up, she will not learn that it's more pleasant, in the end, to get up and use the toilet than to have to strip her bed and herself every night. She needs to learn this, now. She cleans up, not you.

Wetting while asleep is another thing and NOT something for which you should discipline her. That indicates lack of control and the body's inability to feel when it's ready to urinate and to wake up accordingly. But peeing in the diaper when she's awake, unless she really has a physical problem, is her being lazy because she's been allowed to be.

Throw out the diapers; stop all liquids at dinnertime (no drinks after dinner, no bedtime glass of water) and make a last trip to the toilet her final thing before lights out every single night. If she can't go all night without wetting, get her up again when you go to bed later and walk her to the toilet briefly then walk her right back to bed, room still dark, no talking to her.

If she is wetting in her sleep, more than once in a great while, see the doctor right away. That's different and may require intervention. But what you describe in this post and the other post about diapers is purely letting her do what she likes because it's convenient. It also sends her a message that it's OK for her to stay a baby in this way. It's not. If she can hold her pee and get to the toilet at school all day, she can do it at home right up until she is actually asleep!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

She's doing it because she can and because she's lazy and because you're encouraging it. I'm sorry to sound harsh. Do you actually still refer to using the bathroom as going to the potty? She is not a toddler or a preschooler. she is 8. In 3 years, she'll be wearing a bra and in middle school. We are past diapering and potties at that stage.

If she's wetting the bed in her sleep most nights, then she might need an overnight product, but if she's doing that, at age 8, she is old enough to see a pediatric urologist to screen for any problems, if you haven't yet taken her.

These disposble pullups are like a disposable diaper. They don't really feel uncomfortably wet. I bet if you provided her with heavy overnight cloth trainers, she wojuld only have accidents and not on-purposes. She likely would not pee in it at bedtime and have to spend the night in a soaking wet cloth diaper more than once.

This may sound harsh, but based on your past post and this one, I think you're as dependent on this diapering process as your daughter, and it needs to come to a stop.

S.L.

answers from New York on

I re read your post from last month, I would have her talk to a therapist, this does not sounds like a physical problem, more emotional. What would it hurt to have her talk to a professional? It could help a lot and I wouldn't want her to enter the hormonal swings of the teen yrs that are around the corner with emotional issues that are untreated. I believe the fear of growing up, of their bodies changing, can sometimes cause anorexia.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I don't agree with Mindy after having a 10 year old wear pull ups. Her brother that is 15 wore them until he was 13.

They've been to the urologist and the doc said it was normal for some kids to not be able to be dry during the night. So trust the doc.

She started being dry a few weeks ago and she's not been wet since. The first time in her life she was ever dry waking up. So it will happen one day.

IT's like this.

IF IF IF you enjoy doing laundry all day washing bed linens and pads then by all means take her out of her pull up. The pull up is to keep the bed dry all night. Not her. She's wetting and if you want to clean that up every morning then stop putting her in one. My utilities are too high to add more laundry. That bill will go up. I use a $15 box of laundry soap per month. That will increase. My gas bill will go up due to running more hot water and the dryer. Not worth it at all.

A box of pullups cost $15 at Walmart for the whole month. No way the kiddo is getting more than one per night though. If he pees in it he can sleep in it. It's a choice if they do it before going to bed.

IF IF IF you have a life and want to save time and money they use the pull ups and let her put them on after you've made sure she's gone to the bathroom to brush her teeth and gone to pee. She is pretty normal. I've seen worse for sure.

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Our son was doing the same thing. We started making sure he used the bathroom just before changing into pj's. We also repeated the mantra for a week or so that we pee in the toilet, not in the pull-up.

If she's already snug in bed and listening to a goodnight story, I can understand why she wouldn't want to get up to pee. As a mom I didn't like it that my son was doing the same thing, but I can understand why a child would think nothing of it.

Try not to get mad. Just let her know that she needs to pee in the toilet. If you think she'd understand, you can let her know that a pull-up can only hold so much pee, and you want to make sure it can hold any pee that happens while she's sleeping. But I don't think she's consciously doing anything wrong.

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