Daughter, 14, with Stretch Marks - What Do I Do?

S.,

I don't mean to sound critical, but it sounds like you are the only one with the problem. Ifyour daughter shows no sign of worry, neither should you. You are just projecting a bad body image to her. She can't help the way her body grew. Anyone that grows that fast in a short time, their skin doesn't have time to stretch, causing the marks. There are surgery treatments that help smoothe and lighten. But they will never fully go away. Good luck.

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If it's not bothering her, I wouldn't make an issue out of it! If she starts obsessing about it like you seem to be, her self esteem can down right down the toilet. There is nothing you can do about stretchmarks anyway. They will eventually fade with time. I had to learn that lesson with all my pregnancies. I'm sure your daughter is just beautiful the way she is.

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If your daughter doesn't have a problem with them why make an issue over them and push her to be self conscious about her body? Consider yourself lucky that you don't have a daughter that obsesses to look like the women TV, movies and magazines put forward to her. Be HAPPY that she is happy in her own body!! Most women (and men) have stretch marks and it's mostly a genetic thing, if your parents had them then you are most likely going to get them too.
If you are really concerned about her weight then YOU make sure to keep healthy snack and meal options available for her. If you have a box of cookies and a bowl of fruit sitting side by side I'm going to guess 80% or more PEOPLE (not just children) will pick the cookies. Keep fruit, nuts and salads stocked. If your daughter doesn't like just salad put other stuff on it. My daughter will only eat a salad if it has turkey, cheese, crutons and salad dressing on it. I make sure to keep the cheese and dressing on the light side so she is getting mostly veggies. Try to spend some one on one time with her, instead of going out to eat get a snack (HEALTHY) and go for a walk in a park or heck just go walk around the mall! So what if you end up getting something that you weren't planing on at least you and she got up and moving together.

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Don't assume being heavy is the only reason for stretch marks. When I was developing (also around 14) I got quite a few stretch marks on my thighs - and I was 5'5" and 110 lbs. or less. Obviously, my weight wasn't the issue. I just get stretch marks. And no, they don't go away, but they do fade. Helping her accept that is much more important than getting rid of them. Don't make a big deal about it, and if she asks for your help, offer the best advice you can, but don't nag or criticize.

My husband also has stretch marks on his arms - from bulking up his muscles in college (without artificial help).

My advice is to continue to help your daughter lead an active, healthy lifestyle and to accept herself - flaws and all.

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S.,
You are going to give your daughter a complex. I was just like your daughter. I had a big chest at a young age, and stretchmarks. I had a cute figure, not chubby. My mom was constantly making comments about my weight. Now who do you think I hear in my head when I am looking in a dressing room mirror? Even during my pregnancy, I was afraid to tell her how much weight I had gained. I didn't want to hear how after all of her pregnancies, she had a perfect figure. If you don't stop your daughter will grow to resent you.

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I matured at an early age also. I had a c cup by age 10. I also had stretch marks because my body got curves over night. If they don't bother her, all you are doing is making her feel bad about her appearance. Trust me, my mom obsessed over my body and now I have severe problem with self esteem. You don't want that for your daughter. It doesn't go away. The marks will fade over time. Don't fret or do anything about them until she asks for help. Also, have you thought that maybe part of the extra weight is from having such large breasts at such an early age? Breasts weigh quite a bit. I would make sure to only buy healthy foods and snacks. You can't only pick her out to eat them. It needs to be for the whole family so she doesn't feel left out of that something is wrong with her. Same thing with family exercise. I used to have to sit and watch my brother and dad eat whatever they want while I was starving at the hand of my mom. It also carries a little resentment. I hope this doesn't seem to harsh, I just want your daughter to like herself.

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Stretch marks are hereditary, she'll get them when she's pregnant as well. If she doesn't care, you shouldn't either. There's really nothing you can do. People will write and try to sell you things that will help but they don't, it's been proven over and over that there's really nothing you can do but wait and let them fade over time.
A note on her bra size. 8/10 girls/women are in the wrong bra size and Victoria's Secret rarely sizes correctly. If you'd like to know how to properly size, PM me or take her to a specialty shop where people aren't working on commission and just trying to sell you anything. I can give you a place in N Indy but there's probably something closer to you.

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Stretch marks don't go away and skin elasticity is inherited.

You can spend your entire income on creams and potions but it won't change the marks. Imagine stretching a plastic bag way beyond capacity, after you empty it the marks are still there. Your attitude is what is going to make or break the situation in her mind. If you have issues about your own body get help so you don't screw her up. She has enough problems to face with her peers reacting - her mother needs to understand female body issues and be a positive role model.

My own mother fed in to my self body hate and my low self esteem invited the negative attention of others and I thought I deserved it.

Movies, TV, magazines, peers - all tell our girls that they don't measure up. We need to help our girls realize what real women are made of, we are all different and all beautiful in our own way!

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too bad you make her put on those creams and have pointed them out to her. She might not have noticed and been very happy with her body, instead she is 14 and worrying about stretch marks that will probably never go away. How about you and her exercising together and feeding her appropiate portions of good healthy food???? Joining weight watcher together???? Doing somenthing positive instead of focusing on what is wrong wtih her that she can not change. Girls and body image is a dangerous thing... be careful

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I am in the same situation. My daughter is 21 and has has stretch marks since she has been 13 - 14 years old. She has tried creams and nothing seems to help. She uses alot of creams the softener her skin. They aren't red anymore. She tans and they are less noticable. I taught that it was hereditary. I have a lot of them since I had kids but I realized that my mom doesn't have them. So I guess they aren't. I am sorry I am sorry I am no help. I thought it would make you feel better since I am in the same situation.
P.

I had the same thing happen when I was in 6th or 7th grade. I was about 5'6" and weighed about 120. By the time I was 17 I was about 5'10" and 130 and was the same until I started having babies. Stretch marks are just caused by growing quickly and don't mean that your daughter is overweight. They never 100% go away, but they fade to the point that you can't really see them unless you look hard for them. I tell myself that everyday since I have them all over my body now after having my third baby. I know it sucks and I hope your daughters fade quickly.

I don't rreally know what could be done. I have many stretch marks from being exctremely over weight as a child. I was 5'1" and weighed 160 in the 4th grade.

Stretch marks are often hereditary. It has to do with the elasticity of your skin. I have had stretch marks on my upper thighs, on my calves, across my lower back since I was 10. As is common with the onset of puberty, I went through a few years of being chunky then slimming down while growing a few inches quickly. My three sisters, 28,22, and 16, are the same way. My stretch marks faded so much that they were hardly visible by high school. Now at 30, I have a new set of stretch marks on my upper thighs, stomach, and breasts from pregnancy. I tried Palmer's stretch mark cream though I do not think it did much. I also have a strech mark preventer and reducer from Avon. I am not sure if it works well but it feels really nice becuause it contains eucalyptus. I also tried baby oil to help the elasticity of my skin. Little seemed to help. My daughter is 21 months old; and though stretch marks are not the most attractive sight, they have faded back to the same color of the rest of my skin. I hope I have not disheartened you; there are so many issues affecting adolescence, if your daughter is healthy and seems to be in good spirits, try not to worry about something that you have little control over like stretch marks. As far as the weight issue, maybe try smaller portion sizes first and then gradually introduce healthier options and continue to encourage her interest in sports. Hope this helps some.

Hi S. ~

I would recommend taking your daughter to a dermatologist to see if there's something you can do to minimize the stretch marks and prevent further damage. Stretch marks are similar to scars in that they can be minimized with proper treatment, but they never truly disappear.

Like so many others who have replied to your question, I think it's marvelous that your daughter isn't too concerned about this. That shows that she has a good head on her shoulders, and isn't obsessed (like so many other girls her age) with physical perfection. You're obviously doing something right in teaching her about her self image. Good for you!

Good luck!

nothing is going to "get rid" of the stretch marks. i went to a few dr's for that reason and all they recommend is seeing a dermatologist, they'll want to do retin-a on the marks and it will thin out that skin in that area. thus making the marks less visible.

I grew up as a tubby teen. It isn't easy to live through, but at least I had love and support at home to help me cope. You should be grateful and happy that your daughter is active and has the self confidence to play team sports. She isn't sitting in front of a computer or TV all day. She is smart enough to know what she looks like and how it affects her health and stamina. IF she has a problem and tells you she is frustrated or upset, THEN you can give her the diet and exercise lesson. Be thankful that she has two arms and two legs and eyes, ears and nose that work. Stretch marks are nothing to get all worked up about. I am sure you can find ways to tell her she is beautiful no matter what her skin looks like.

My daughter also got stretch marks at a young age. She was around 12 or 13. She started gaining weight and some people are more prone to getting them than others. Just like in pregnancy. My mom did not get any, I started getting them in my second to third month of pregnancy. It was from rapid weight gain. When I got pregnant with her my appetite doubled. I got marks around my smalls breasts, my calves, the back of my legs and around my hips. The funny thing is I don't have them on my stomach which is where I got the biggest. Anyway the sad thing is, stretch marks do not go away. My daughter lost the weight and at 18 now she wears about a size 6 but the strech marks are still there. When they are red, they are new and as long as your daughter is still expanding they will stay that way. When she starts to lose weight they will be lighter then her normal skin color but without some kind of surgery they won't go away. It's unfair and it's hard on them but it something some of us women have to live with.

I grew about 50 lbs overweight and have the same type of stretch marks. Unfortunately, they probably will not go away. But the appearance will lessen if and when she decides to loose the weight.
As far as her loosing weight, don't push the issue. It must be her choice. And if eating healthier is the objective, then make it a point not to have the "bad" choices in the house. The harder it is to get the bad stuff the more effort it will take and the less likely people in general are to make those bad choices. It won't happen right away but it can happen.

The best thing you can do for your daughter is leave her alone. Making a big deal out of something that is already there and will never go away is just setting her up to feel horrible about her body. Tell her she is beautiful, guide her towards healthier eating if that is an issue but do it in a way that doesn't make her feel like you're saying she's fat. Maybe the whole family could use a nutrition makeover? Usually the teen/child is eating poorly because the whole family is, or the food is available in the house to eat. Also, you said she's active in sports so that will get her plenty of exercise (especially HS soccer!) but make sure she stays active during the off season. Maybe you could find a winter or spring activity that you can do together. Trust me, as much as I love my mother, she put the idea that I was overweight into my head as a young teenager and I've never been able to shake it. Now I am very overweight and am struggling with taking it off and make myself realize that just because I was told that when I was young, doesn't mean that's who I am or how I have to be. Be very careful with your words to your daughter, you never know which ones will stick with her.

S., My daughter is 12 years old and 20 pounds overweight also. She also plays fast-pitched softball and is in involved with sports. She also has stretch-marks and I have found that applying diaper rash ointment mixed with any lotion really has helped her. Well, it seems to take redness out a little. My daughter has grown quickly, she is in a size 9 1/2 shoe and is just big. She is a beautiful girl and I hate this for her. She is a big carb eater and I am sure this is why she has put on this extra weight. I keep trying to encourage her to walk with me at night and eat salads, which she eats, but then get's into the other food... If I don't have junk food, she gets into making mac and cheese, she will eat slices of butter bread, ect... I wish you luck. I will pray for her.

It may be her weight which is causing the stretch marks. It would probably lighten up the stretch marks if she lost weight. I have them too from having kids and mine are not as noticable as they were since I have lost weight. Try to get her to lose about 10 pounds and even 5 to start and you will probably notice that the stretch marks are getting lighter.
Coconut oil is supposed to help lighten up stretch marks as well. I have a friend of mine that used it when she was pregnant and after she had her baby and she swears by it.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.

I have had stretch marks since I was a growing teenager - average height and weight, just had big chest and hips. Two years ago i had twin girls, and carried them to full term - and my stomach and hips were covered in huge stretch marks. Someone suggested the Mary Kay Visibly Fit lotion as they used it for their stretch marks. This stuff works wonders - I still have stretch marks but not like I did after the girls were born, and it works like a firming cream also. Plus at your daughter's young age, her skin should bounce back better than ours would. They still sell it (I saw it in the recent catalog) and it costs $22, but way worth it.

It may be a bit spendy, but take her to a nutritionist,,The right nutrition isn't only about weight.. It's also beneficial to skncare, complexion, hair strength, teeth, etc.. and try a more holistic approach as far as creams and ointments for her marks. As tme goes by she may have the same effect as I did w/ my first baby.. I had them all over my stomach, thighs, breasts, butt, etc...It was a HUGE weight gain.. ( I went from 110 lb to 150 lb.) and that was the only time I had them...I had three babies after that but no more stretch marks,, but they healed and faded in time.. I'm 120 lb now and if I'd known then what I know now, I would have gone to a nutritionist before I spent so much money on all the OTC medicinal creams that never worked.
Just a think on my part,
A.

Have you tried the over the counter stretch mark cream with vitamin E? I had the same problem with my 13 year old. She went through some major life changes and then her body decided to change and here came the stretch marks. I believe it is Palmers cocoa butter stretch mark cream. You can find it at the drug store or discount stores such as Wal-mart or K-mart. It has helped my daughters and I hope it helps yours. Keep in mind it won't happen over night.

M.

Hi S., I don't think there is anything that will take away stretch marks completely, but my mother who had 5 cesarian births, 2 bowel surgeries, and a total hysterectomy, had horrible scarring in her abdominal area. It was a dark purple color for two decades at least. This included a large elongated lump inside where she had been cut open repeatedly. I also have stretch marks and a surgical scar on my abdomen that was a bright pink for several years. My scar is completely the same color as my skin now and my mothers has softened up and lightened as well. We have both been drinking Mona Vie. It's incredible...over a million people are drinking this juice. We have several local doctors drinking as well, because they are seeing the results in their patients. I don't know where you are from, but we have tasting parties every Tuesday at 7:30PM in Lorain at the Deerfield Estates behind the new Target at 6049 Whitetail Lane. They are really fun and just give you all the information you need. No high pressure sales...we are just sharing the information! Bring as many people as you'd like. You have just got to see this! N. L.

Tea tree oil is GREAT for the skin. I think -- has been a long time....but I think primrose oil is another one they recommend for stretch marks. Do some homework.