Dating Sites

L., I met my husband and the father of our three children online through a Christian site back in '99. We've been married for almost six years.
I was 35 at the time and had just made a major change in my life. I quit my job and returned to school to finally complete my college education. A very good friend lent me his computer because he knew that I would need it for my assignments. I was so computer illiterate. During the Christmas break, I started fiddling around w/ the Christian site, never intending to really meet anyone. I was too committed to school. I just wanted to see pictures of cute guys, lol. Somehow, my husband sent me an instant message and it terrified me. I was so naive, I felt as if he could find me and stalk me with just the little info. that I gave on my profile. I didn't give my real birth date even. Anyway, I figured out how to answer his im the next night when he sent me another one. See, I didn't respond to the first one, I didn't know how to. Can you believe he tried me again after no response the first time? I looked up my husband's profile and he was gorgeous. Tall, dark, and handsome w/ blue eyes. Two other guys who seemed interesting and attractive also started sending me emails through the site as well. My husband happened to live in San Antonio also. Of course, he wanted to meet right away. I was more cautious. I prayed about meeting him, very hard. He gave me his number but I told him I wasn't ready to call either. It took only three weeks of praying and asking my friends to pray also. One Saturday, I just woke up with a very peaceful and assured sense of meeting him. I made my decision right then and there to meet. I talked to some of my friends and they told me that they did not feel any sense of danger either. Please understand, I am a VERY cautious person. And I trust my friends opinions and intuition. Well, we met at Maggie's (a local restaurant-now closed). Still on safety's side, I had a friend stop by during our meeting to sit and talk with us for a while too. He-he, I even told him that a couple more of my friends were also "planted" in the restaurant and watching us. Well, here we are, nine years and three kids later. And after knowing me for so long now, my husband can't believe we met on the internet because I am so cautious. He thinks that I must have been temporarily out of my mind to even try it because it was so out of my character.
Give it a try. Just pray about each and every step you make, ask your friends and family to pray for you also and place it all in God's hands. And listen!!!!!!
Hope this helps.
L.
P.S.
Those two other guys who were sending me messages? Strangely, I never heard from them again after the day I met my husband.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi, I met my boyfriend on yahoo personals and we had been together for almost three years. But just recently we have decided to end things because he never got off of the dating sites. I know alot of people that it works for, you just have to be careful because alot of men of these sites are just looking for a booty call.

Good Luck!

I met my husband and father of my children online.
Well, our first real meeting was at church, but our initial contact was online. It's a great way to meet.
Good luck.

Also, one of my closest friends just married last month a man she's dated for the last two years that she met on a Christian online dating site.

Hi there !
I met my husband "13 yrs. Ago" ! Through the "greensheet newspaper"! Yes, the greensheet (who would have ever thought that) called tele-capanion's ! (not there anymore) but I ran an add (my sister talked me in to it) & I also responded to a few, well I met my husband on it and we met at chili's, we didn't even know what each other looked like or nothing !
We talked back & forth on the phone, back then the internet wasn't as popular like it is now ! But we have been married for 11 yrs ! & we have 1 girl & 1 boy !
I got tired of the fake bar scene ! & I tried different church's and nothing, so I listened to my sister & this is my story...............enjoy !
Try plentyoffish.com -

Depends!! I met my husband on a Catholic Faith based website (www.avemariasingles.com)which was very thorough in profiling and of course the main draw was the solid faith element. It was excellent and I corresponded with many wonderful men before my husband wrote me. Other secular websites can be so hit and miss and sorry to say many men use them as predatory sites and I would be very wary.

P.

My boss met her current boyfriend online. (She didn't tell us the site, she's a little embarrased about how they met) Personally it is the best thing that happened to EVERYONE else at work because she went from a beast to super sweet and happy. They dated after talking a while and then called it quits. They stayed friends for about 2 years and then got back together about a year ago and she is so happy.

I also met my husband on Match.com and we have been married for almost 4 years now. He is the best husband/father ever, even more than I could have ever expected.

As I always tell my hubby, I had to weed through a lot of duds to get to my stud! I would also suggest meeting for drinks/coffee so that you are not expected to stay for a long date. This seems to always be the best dating scenario for the first date. I think me and my hubby talked online for about 3 weeks before I gave him my number, we met for drinks one night and have been together ever since.

Well, I have tried it (match.com)and it didn't work for me but I didn't stay on long because when I finally got the courage to actually meet the guy from several weeks of talking (through email only) which he sounded so awesome he turned out completely opposite plus his pic was like 12 years younger than what he was. So I decided maybe it wasn't for me. The guys are really quick to give out their number. I was really leary of calling so quick for you never know what kind of weirdo you might get if they are so quick to make that move. A girlfriend of mine is doing match.com now and seems to be okay. She has dated several of the guys she has meet on there. Some okay some possessive/strange. The last one she dated she dated for a about three months and liked him but he just broke up with her. So I guess it is about the same as meeting them in a bar. Life (dating) is like a box of choclates, you never know what you're gonna get.

I met my husband's friend through AOL back in 1998. We became friends and he introduced me to my husband in 98 as well, and we've been together ever since, and married over 6 years. I worked with a friend of mine back in 2003 and she met her boyfriend (now husband, a VERY hot fireman) off Match.com. So yes, it can work.

i have meet some very nice guys and a few bads but also in real life 2 on sites but my fav 1 is plentoffish.com also i have a few girlfriends that have meet great guys alos.i have meet some good friends and a good date on there.just be careful about meeting them always in a public well lite place just in case.

It worked for me! I met my husband on yahoo personals almost 4 years ago. We went on our first date the same day we started talking and have been together every since. You can tell a lot about a person by the types of emails that they send you and the way they respond to you.

I say yes!! I met my husband online. I was a divorced mother of two with no outlet to meeting a man. My co-workers talked me into trying it. I was very reluctant but finally gave it a try. It's nice because you can see them and read about them before ever talking to them. You can e-mail them to get more of a feel for their personality and go at your own pace. My husband and I started e-mailing then talking on the phone and finally met in person and we were in love immediatly. We were engaged within 3 months and married after 6 months. We are about to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. Good luck!

Yep. I met my husband on Match.com His best friend met his wife on another dating site. Give it a shot! You will most likely have to weed through a lot of emails that are not of interest. I got several that were clearly out for just one thing. I was also amazed at how many guys couldn't be bothered to use half way decent grammar. I always tell my DH that I married him because he can write in complete sentences! Other than that, it can be fun and you may well meet the man of your dreams.

I have no personal experience, nor do I know anyone who has married anyone from an online service. I do know that Match.com has received a not particularly good rep for being the place where guys go to 'hook up' with woman. This is all anecdotal of course, but unless you pick something like ave maria singles or e-harmony, I would be very careful.

I met my husband on Match.com as well. It takes time to weed through all the profiles but definitly worth it. Meet for lunch or coffee before giving any personal info. Good Luck.

My sister is getting married to a great guy that she met on eharmony. They talked for a few months on the site and then finally met in person and have been together since then.

I know 2 married couples from E- HaRMONY!!

A friend of mine met her husband through eharmony.com so I'd say it works. From what I hear there is a big screening process to help weed out the people who you don't have much in common with.

God Bless!

e-harmony really works! my husband and I met through that and we've been married almost 3 years and have a 2 year old. That's the only on-line dating thing that I would trust, they really match you, we are SO compatible! good luck!

-T.

i have a great website from my church you might want to try out www.faithmate.com

L.,
I have tried 3 different sites (eharmony, true, and match) and so far, none of them have worked for me. I have yet to meet anyone although I do have a date for this weekend. The issue I have is that most people do not post their photos. Additionally, the "matches" do not respond probably because they do not have active memberships. Some of the matches are from other cities or states which is pointless. Other women have told me the same thing so I would not recommend online dating. Good luck!

I met my husband of 3 years through E-Harmony. It takes alot of time and patience. I did it for 9 months consistently before I met him. I also dated quite a few nice other guys through the site. Yes, I had a couple of dates that did not turn into anything. I was just about to quit when I met my husband. I do have to tell you that I did not limit myself to just people that lived in the same city. My husband was from Fort Worth and I lived in San Antonio when we met. I always tell my girlfriends that E-Harmony was the best bar I ever went to.. LOL I was 35 when I started E-Harmony and had never been married. I was extremely tired of doing the bar scene. So, I gave it a shot and it worked. Now, I have had girlfriends that just did it for a month or two and quit. You have to be very dedicated to responding to people and willing to be open. I like E-Harmony the best because they match you up with people that similar beliefs and values. It is by far the best one I have ever done. I also did match.com and I thought it was kind of cheesy. I think since then it has improved alot. I would still do E-Harmony. Let me know if you have any questions. Good Luck. My journey was long but he was definitely worth the wait. I always tell my husband that he cost $900 because thats how much I spent on EHarmony before I met him. He got lucky he only did it for 3 weeks and then he met me. I dated him for 5 months got engaged and 5months later we were married.

I agree with many of the other posters -- yes, online dating has real potential, and it does work, but it takes a lot of patience and common sense. Right after I got divorced, I tried a bunch of sites and went out on a ton of dates and had a blast. I wasn't really looking for the love of my life, but just enjoyed meeting new people and treating it all as an adventure and learning experience. I had one bad experience (partly because I wasn't smart about meeting this one person -- heed the advice about meeting in a public place!) but the rest of the people were all, without exception, nice people. I agree that the guys usually want to call/meet right away, but I always stuck with the emails for a long time -- partly because you get to know someone better first and partly for efficiency. Women get a LOT of matches and emails, and you could conceivably go on a date for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day if you wanted! So you have to find some way to narrow it down. I always enjoyed the suggested "icebreaker" questions ("If you were on a desert island, which 5 items would you bring with you?" type of thing) because I got a lot of insight into the guy's personality -- and writing back and forth a lot shows how committed the guy is to taking the whole process seriously. The married/just-want-to-get-laid guys usually won't bother with all the writing.

Even the dates that were semi-disasters have left me with some hilarious stories :)

My opinion on sites? I think eHarmony is the best if you're looking for a serious relationship. My brother is actually getting married in March to a woman he met on eHarmony 3 years ago. I didn't have much luck on there, but I think it would have been just a matter of time. You get fewer matches on eHarmony, so if you are new and don't want to get overwhelmed it would be a good choice. If you want lots of dates and a big selection, Match is good. I agree with another poster that it can be very cheesy, and you definitely have to be more careful because I think it has a lot more married/player guys. But if you are "browsing" it's a good choice. I found True very creepy and my impression was that it is little more than a hookup site. I wasn't initially impressed with Yahoo Personals -- BUT I have changed my mind. I met a WONDERFUL man on there four months ago and we've been dating ever since. He treats me like a queen and we're very compatible. So it just goes to show that good people are out there everywhere and when it's meant to be the right one will pop up right on time. In the meantime, have fun!

A friend of mine met a wonderful man on one of the higher end dating sites and is now married to him. I can find out which one if you're interested. She found that the higher entry fee tends to weed out the jobless, married, etc. and attract more professionals who are just too busy with their careers to meet women in the more traditional venues.

Good luck!

www.GoodHealthMadeSimple.com/M.