June 02, 2007,
T.R. asks from Midlothian, TX on May 31, 2007
Dating Issues - Midlothian,TX
At what age did you let your children have their first girlfriend or boyfriend? What rules did you set? Did you let them go out?
Update: What about the girlfriend or boyfriend going on a family outing with us? Like out to eat, to the movies, etc.?
J.Y. answers from Dallas on June 01, 2007
My husband says our daughters can't date until they get married. Our oldest is just now starting to get that one. She wants to know how she'll ever get married if she doesn't date! We'll see. My husband & I started "dating" when I was 13. Our parents knew each other & basically we were just friends until I turned 15 & then I was allowed to go out with him. Then it was only out to eat & a movie or something. No parties or going to people's houses. It was also with the understanding that my parents could show up wherever I said I was going to be. And they did. As I got older I was allowed a little more freedom.
J.D. answers from Dallas on June 01, 2007
In general, this is very dependent on the relationship you have with your children. If you feel that you can trust them, then 16 is a good age to start dating outside the home. I was dating when I was 16. I had to call and check in at 9:30 and be home by 11:00. I was only allowed to go out on friday or saturday. One or the other, not both. The boy had to come to the door to pick me up and had to meet my parents. My parents had veto power if they did not feel I would be safe. (They never used it, but I knew that was the agreement) And, they always had his parent's phone number and visa versa in case of emergency.
The other side to that is educating your children on the risks of certain behaviors (sex, drugs, alcohol). Your children need to know that allowing them to go out without you is a responsibility and a priveledge and you are trusting them to be the good person you raised them to be and to make the right decisions. All that you want for them is to be safe and know you love them.
It's a big decision and I'm glad I'm not in your shoes at the moment. I won't have to face that for 16 years. :) You'll make the best decision for your kids, trust your instincts!
A.A. answers from Dallas on June 01, 2007
I think it depends on your child and your gut feeling. Children with "issues" are typically 2/3 rds the biological age in maturity. I don't let my aspergers child do things at the same age I let my "normal" child do them.
D.G. answers from Houston on June 02, 2007
Sixteen is the number, the number is sixteen. Period, no discussion at our house. The younger they date & are allowed/ encouraged to pair off, the younger they seem to do "everything else," too, statistically speaking.
The logistics we'll worry about when they actually get there- but I'm thinking group dating from 16-17, then we'll discuss pairing off.
My husband is federal law enforcement & carries a gun...I can't wait to see the boys my daughters bring home, but I'm sure they aren't going to be too thrilled to be interviewed by him!
LOVE the new cell phone commercial with the dad talking to the boyfried about how his picture next to the boy's in his daughter's cell phone is "Just like I'm watching you..." It's a hoot!!!
M.R. answers from Dallas on May 31, 2007
My oldest is 16 and still hasn't been on a "date" it has usually been just group things. As for me I was 15 when I was dating his dad and it was always group things and he would come to visit and parents had to be home and could not go to bedroom.
When I was 16 I was allowed to go on a date but had to tell my parents where we were going and had to be home by 11pm and I had to call to check in.
K.D. answers from Shreveport on May 31, 2007
My oldest is 13. She already has had boyfriends, but they have been just an at school thing. Her dad says 32 is when she is allowed to date, but it will probably be 16 before she can start actually dating. I know there's not much I can do about boyfriends at school. At 15 depending on her maturity we might consider group dates to the movies or adult supervised dates, or something like him coming to the house to visit. When she does start dating she will bring him to the house to meet the us first, then if we approve she can go out another night with him. Plus she will have to tell us where she is going. Hope this gives you some ideas.