Dating a Man That Has a Jealous 22 Year Old Daughter

I know that you may not want to hear this but it sounds like your real problem is with your Boyfriend - he is allowing his daughter to behave this way and it is likely that she did not get that way overnight. I don't know how long you have been dating him but it seems that he isn't willing to stand up for you or to correct her behavior. She would stop having her hand out if he never put anything in her hands to start with!

It may sound cold but how did she get to a point where she is without resources? Where is her Mother? Where are the boyfriends/babies Dads? Where is the rest of the family to help out? It is likely that her self-centered and obnoxious, immature behavior has made everyone else give up on her, which is sad but it is of her own making.

If you continue your relationship with this man then you are in for a long battle with this young woman and your boyfriend is the one who needs to take action before things can change.

Good luck.
blessings,
Stacy

if three is a crowd realize your the three! i wouldnt be in that type of relationship unless i was already married to the man. that 22 yr old little girl has always gotten what she wanted and has always been the way she is acting now. there is no way i would be doing these things and apparently you either because we were raised differently. she wasnt. the person you sould be frustraited with is him. he should be defending you,seting the boundarys,and really letting her grow up by being on her own not taking her under his wing again. its him. he is the problem. cut your losses now. thats my advice. good luck.

I have a friend who went through this with her Mom and eventually she got to a better place with her Mom dating. A lot of it was that they included her in outings from time to time. She was worried about losing her Mom to someone else. You might try reverse psychology- invite her into the room to watch movies. Help her feel less threatened.

However, I had issues with my MIL(jealousy, immaturity, whatever) that I talked with my husband about prior to marriage and it was never dealt with and now we still deal with those issues. It is very sad that she has never been able to get over this- and that is my only concern for you. Good luck!

I have a very good friend who was in a very similar situation. The relationship ended because the man couldn't decide what he wanted and definitely couldn't put his girlfriend before his adult children.

My advice is that if he can't put his foot down and set some boundaries with his adult daughter you should get out now! It's understandable to help your children when they are in need, but you have to help them help themselves, you can give them everything you have top teach them how to provide for themselves. If he is not doing that, and refuses to do that then you can't make him change.

Just recognize the signs and do not be a doormat. Talk to him but make it clear that he needs to set the ground rules. Try not to spend as much time over there if she is nasty to you and make sure that he shuts his ringer off and only check his phone once while you are out (in case of an emergency).

I really hope you can work it out! Hang in there!

You're right, 3 can be a crowd. Sounds like he is planning on marrying you. This being the case, he needs to let her know her boundaries. She needs to respect you whether or not she likes you. If she cannot respect the laws of the house, then at 22 she needs to move on. I'm all about helping your children out, but if they are disrespecting your home, they need to go. Good Luck.

Hi S., I feel your pain. I am going thru the same thing only I am married and his son is 25. He has lived with us for about a month and has caused some problems. My husband & I do not have any alone time; and my husband is more interested in being his friend. The only advice I have is to get it solved now before marriage. Otherwise, your marriage will be strained. Good luck!!

I have to agree with Stacey, your boyfriend is the major problem. He just needs to put his foot down! You never under any circumstances let your children run your life. One thing is him trying to help her and another is for this adult person acting like a 2 yr old! You need to have a serious conversation with this man that needs help. He needs to put a stop to this whole mess. You really can't do much because it is NOT your place to do so. Have you tried being friends with this 22 going on 2?

Good luck

You need to tell your boyfriend to tell his daughter that whenever you and him are spending time together that she needs to respect you and him and give you'll privacy. She wouldn't like it if her dad went in her room constantly if she had a friend there. At least you know what she thinks of you, so you can try to work out things with her for respect of her dad, and if it doesn't work out, you did try to work with her. If your boyfriend loves and respect you, he needs to tell her to respect you too, because if you and him gets married and if she still has that attitude towards you, you know that you would still have problems with her. She just needs to grow up, she has reponsibilities of her own, with her kids.

You now know who your bf is. That's what dating is all about. Is this the person you want to continue to have in your life? If you get married, do not expect the situation to change. People are who they are. He may have some guilt for not staying with her mom and is trying to make it up to her. If this is something you can learn to put up with, then stay with the guy. But then you cannot ever complain. You have to decide if you can put up with it without ever complaining. When you are with someone who has all the cards on the table, you are at an advantage. The decision is yours. Love is not enough. Whoever tells you it is has not experienced enough of life to know. Be thankful that you know everything now to make an informed decision.