22 answers

Dads Giving Daughters a Bath, When Is Girl Too Old?

Hi all. I have a friend who has an almost 7 year old little girl, and a 2 yo little girl. Long story but he just got them back after almost two years of searching and taking the wife to court. Anyway, he has temporary custody part time until a final divorce hearing. He of course doesn't want to do anything wrong and has some concerns about bathing his daughter. When is a little girl too old to need help with her bath, especially from her dad? What do you lady's think? TIA

1 mom found this helpful

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I think it depends on the dad and daughter. If he's uncomfortable, then he he shouldn't do it. The 7 year old can probably bathe her self and might prefer the shower, but he really NEEDS to help the 2 yo because she should't be left unattended in the tub at that age.

It wouldn't be a bad idea for him to look into an age appropriate parenting class. There are probably free ones offered through social services and maybe even one especially for dads. It'll give him a chance to ask these kinds of questions AND it will look good that he took the initiative to go out and educate himself about raising his girls.

HTH

T.

4 moms found this helpful

I'm so sad that this is even a question being asked. What a wicked and perverse generation we are to even have to think like this. He should be just fine bathing his daughters.

3 moms found this helpful

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I think when the child becomes uncomfortable with it, then it's time to stop. I have a 7 yo boy who I'm pretty sure I'll be bathing on prom night! :-)

6 moms found this helpful

6-7 is around the age when most girls will start to bathe themselves. I would tell dad to ask her if she wants to bathe on her own (like a big girl) or does she need help? Maybe dad can just "supervise" to make sure she washes well for a while. Most parents will say their daughters gave them signals that they were ready to bathe on their own and that was that. I can understand his hesitancy (even though it's sad that has to even be considered) but have him talk to her and see what she says.

4 moms found this helpful

I think it depends on the dad and daughter. If he's uncomfortable, then he he shouldn't do it. The 7 year old can probably bathe her self and might prefer the shower, but he really NEEDS to help the 2 yo because she should't be left unattended in the tub at that age.

It wouldn't be a bad idea for him to look into an age appropriate parenting class. There are probably free ones offered through social services and maybe even one especially for dads. It'll give him a chance to ask these kinds of questions AND it will look good that he took the initiative to go out and educate himself about raising his girls.

HTH

T.

4 moms found this helpful

I'm so sad that this is even a question being asked. What a wicked and perverse generation we are to even have to think like this. He should be just fine bathing his daughters.

3 moms found this helpful

If either of them is uncomfortable with it, she's too old. And there are families who are completely cool with nudity right up to adolescence or later, so it doesn't necessarily have to be a problem. But, since they've been apparently separated for awhile, that could add additional shyness or awkwardness.

No problem with bathing the younger child. The 7yo is probably old enough to bathe herself, or let him know if she'd like his help with shampooing or rinsing.

I think it's great that he's sensitive to this possible concern.

1 mom found this helpful

My daughters 8 and has been able to bathe herself since 6, maybe it was 5 but can't remember for sure. 7 should certainly be old enough for her to shower herself. My 8 y/o DD won't even undress to shower or use the restroom anymore around me or dad! She's very shy.....as soon as she's done showering she runs to her room and locks the door to get dressed.

I wasn't as shy as a child but I respect her need for privacy and let her bathe herself. There has been times where she'll bathe with little brother so I have to be in there to help with brother and I'll help wash her hair but ONLY she can do her body. : )

Tell him to not worry and if he thinks she has any trouble washing herself, they can go over the "how to's" before she gets in and he can demonstate for her (clothes still on) the proper ways of washing herself w/out before she showers/bathes herself. IF she absolutely needs his help and she's comfortable with him helping, have him buy one of the $1 body scrubbers that you add the liquid soap to and maybe that will help him feel more comfortable with washing her body. Take care!

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter just turned 7 and either my husband or I draw the bath for her. She washes herself then puts the shampoo in her hair. We leave to give her some privacy then return to make sure all the hair has been washed. We typically help with rinsing her hair which is long and thick. Then we ask if she has cleaned her specific parts (neck, behind ears, girlie parts, feet, etc.). Lastly, we are there for towel time. We scoop her up in a nice big towel and give hugs and snuggles before she heads into her bedroom to put jammies on. This is a wonderful bonding time for all children.

Good luck.

I don't know what age is too old. I can tell you though that I have a 5 1/2 year old daughter who now showers herself. I coached her the first few times and made sure she did things that right way and washed everywhere. Now she does it all on her own, all I do is turn the water on for her. I think that you could encourage him to allow her to take showers, and with a little bit of his help, she will be on her own in a very short while.

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