Daddy's Girl??

That's very true....my daughter went through so many different phases in her past 5 years and the worst is when they decide they don't like a family member! But just keep trying and wait this one out, she will come around.

Is there any chance that Daddy's the one who does the feedings or usually the diaper changes? The reason I ask is because I nursed our son and we often found that when he was around your daughter's age he didn't want me to hold him unless he was hungry. He only wanted to be held by his Dad. As soon as I would pick him up or take him from my husband he would cry hysterically unless he actually wanted to be fed. Just wondering if maybe you guys are bottle feeding and you could be seeing the reverse of this if Daddy is the one who usually feeds her... Possibly same scenario if he's the one who typically changes her diapers. Either way, it was a phase that my son grew out of so hopefully your daughter will too. Good luck!

She does sense his getting frustrated quickly, she may be real sensitive to his emotions, and let your husb be rest assured that she will come to in her time, when she ready, mabey dad needs to back off a little, (please dont take this in a harsh way at all, not meant to be, possibly dad can play with her like on the floor with toys that she likes, and build a relationship instead of him wanting an immieadaite result, this is patience for him and a chance for him to grow, our children teach us dont they,

how often is your husband around? I went through this too, but my husband was a stay at home dad and my daughter was with him all the time, so I was the one she cried with, it broke my heart so I had to make an attempt to be around more and spend more one on one time with her and she came around.

It is actually proven that infant GIRLS tend to reject their fathers, and all other men. Of course a boy can do it too, but its not nearly as common as in baby girls. There are theories as to why, but no real answers.

The positive thing is that they DO grow out of it.

From almost the time of her birth my daughter, now 2, rejected her dad. He was nothing but nice (actually created a problem, he's afraid to discipline her much because he so badly wants her to LIKE him). She wouldnt let him bottle-feed her when I weaned her, wouldnt let him spoon feed her either, no diaper changes, no games, no holding his hand even. She would even freak out if he gave ME a hug by the time she was about 18mos old. Yes, it got much much worse as she older.

But then, slowly but surely, as she got older and less dependent on me, she began to decide that maybe, just MAYBE, he wasnt quite as bad as she thought. Last night she got really mad at me (she wanted to get a brand new banana instead of finishing the one she started 1 hour prior. I of course told her no way, which because she is a typical emotional 2 year old girl got her bursting into massive amounts of angry tears.) and ran off immediately to her father, crawling into his lap and putting her head on his chest, telling him all about what the big bad mommy had done! (He did back me up and say no, she has to eat the first banana, well, first.)

So trust me, if a girl as anti-dad as Claire can come around any kid can.

Remember that is actually natural, though not well understood. Make him stay involved. Remind HIM that babies cling to mommies- his time WILL come too. Promise. :-)

I have all boys and have never gone through this but I've heard of it happening before. It can be quite discouraging for your husband I'm sure. I really think it's just a stage. If he just keeps trying I'm sure she'll come around. Maybe he can help during bath time, or maybe even just play with her on the ground (that way he's not holding her) while you aren't around. Good luck!

Are you breastfeeding? My baby had the same initial reaction and always turned to me for comfort, but when my husband started to feed her from a bottle it changed and were more "equal".

Dear Jeanette,
Does Daddy have any distinguishing features like whiskers, a moustache?? Facial hair can scare a baby, you sound to have a darling daughter. Just keep calm & you nurse baby, BUT let her face him a LOT and when he talks to her and plays with her, just reassure her you are close by. She may feel that Daddy is nervous holding her, is amazing what our babes sense, hence she is more comfortable with you. Let her touch his arms, face, hair etc. Good Luck you sound a lovely Mom. E. D.

They flip-flop at this age so don't worry about it. In a few months, she'll want only daddy:)

Well it could be many reasons. Children go through different stages. I remember when my child didn't like men with beards. My husband had one. So he shaved. Our child went through a stage where he called us by our first names, because he heard others calling us that.
I would suggest that your husband be patient and take things slowly with her until she comes through her stage. If he is a more disiplinary (ex. he tells her no more) and you are more relenting, she could pull more towards you.
It can be frustrating, but she will pull through it eventually. Just be patient.

-B.

My daughter was the same way. My ex-husband was hurt by her behavior, too. She eventually grew out of it and fell in love with her daddy :-)

Do you breastfeed? I did it longest with her and we thought that maybe that had someothing to do with it.

M.

My advice is . . . give your daughter time. My son didn't want to be held by ANYONE but myself and my dear uncle. Now, I think my son prefers my husband over me because he wants to "be a cool dude" and really looks up to guys. In the meantime, the very best advice I can give you is to have your husband read to your daughter everynight. You may have to hold her at first while he reads, but I think gradually she'll get used to having just dad read.

Maybe something on him is irritating to her? Cologne, soap, deoderant, facial hair, breath, etc. Maybe have him drop using one thing at a time and see if that helps.
That being said it could also just be because she is a baby and she wants her mama. Don't worry she will warm up soon be Daddy's girl! She just needs her mama most right now :)

My oldest daughter went through this. We just assumed she would be a Daddy's Girl, but she wanted nothing to do with him. She loved him, and would smile at him, hug him, etc... But for the most part, she had very little to do with him and would cry for me. This was from early on (just a couple of months old) until she was probably 2 or 3. Then for whatever reason she changed and to this day (she's 7 1/2) she adores her daddy! The world revolved around him and she is absolutely crazy about him! He just always acted normal toward her and figured one day she'd some around. We didn't force the issue. He's in Daddy heaven right now! lol

My oldest daughter was the same way from birth to about 8 or 9 months. She wouldn't let anybody hold her but Mom. Dad would try but when she'd cry and he couldn't calm her, I would get her back and she would stop instantly. This just didn't pertain to Dad either, it was anybody but Mommy.

Grandma was more upset than Dad. Grandma didn't get to hold her until she was almost a year old.

I went to dinner one night with my girlfriend, when my daughter was about 4 months old. My husband called me after one hour and wanted me to come home because she wouldn't stop crying. I did, only because he was getting frustrated.

She was in Daycare too. For some reason she didn't have a problem there.

She is now 7 years old and loves her Daddy to pieces. It will pass. Try playing on the floor with her and Daddy. That way she knows you are right there and its ok.

I am a first time mom of a wonderful 10 month old little boy. At about the same age time frame as your daughter, my son didn't want anything to do with daddy either. I just made it a point every night when my husband got home from work that they spend a few minutes togher, whether my son liked it or not. I would leave the room and let them play with favorite toys or books. We started out with doing this for about 5 mins each night. Now, my son is a mommy's boy until he sees daddy and then look out. They are like best of friends. Once he hears my husband walk in the door, he is off to meet/greet him and will not leave his side until bedtime!!! Just be patient and work with it. I promise it will get better.

I had the same problem with my daughter when she was that age. Due to my husband not being with her as much as me because of work. He has to just keep trying and not handing her off, tell him to calmly sing to her(paddy cake worked great for my daughter and husband)and to play with her get her interested in something(stuffed animals and finger puppets work great also for imaginary play)Daddy should let his inner child come out. She will soon learn that daddy is fun. Sometimes I would have to be out of sight for her calm down and give Daddy a chance. I can't remember how long it lasted, but I can tell you she is now 15 mons. and runs to the door when she hears Daddy come home. She will grow out of it and Daddy needs to stay calm, be patient and don't give up. Good luck!!

My daughter did the same thing with my husband when she was that age. To be honest, she didn't like anyone but me and her brothers til she was a good 6-7 months old. Now she is 18 months and her daddy is one of her favorite people. When daddy comes home she wants nothing to do with anyone but him.

don't worry, this is probably temporary, happend to us when our daughter was 6 months. Suddenly stopped after a few weeks, babies change day by day.

Hi J., already your daughter knows who mommy is, babies are very keen on mommy scent, did you try draping a t-shirt (that you've worn) over his shoulder, she might "smell" you and be calmer. Dad also needs to relax, and deal with the crying for a while, whats he going to do if you have to leave, who will he hand her over too?

yes, just keep on making sure he talks to her, and even when you hold her, that he is a part...

my youngest grand daughter would not let me hold her til she way past 9 months old...she would scream... but smile and plat peek a boo if her mommy held her... so I just smiled and told her Iloved her... we also had a niece that is she was anywhere us that same grand daughter would scream blood curdling screams... now she loves her to death lots od time to snuggle...just keep his voice and smile plentiful...

Does your husband have a favorite cologne to wear? It sounds silly but I had a simisler problem until my husband stopped wearing his cologne. Apparantly the smell bothered our daughter. Just a thought.

Go out and leave them alone. My 3yr old needs mommy to do everything. But now that daddy picks her up from school once a week the alone time has done wonders for there relationship. Give them some time to bond, and give yourself some alone time, even if its just going to the grocery store.

Daddy's girl..maybe she is Mommy's girl. When I was preg and we found we are having girl..My hubby and everyone said...she is gil so shei naturally inclined to Daddy, I would have to make more effort. But its reverse she has to be bribed (by him) so she goes to him.

For her comfort she snuggles on to me...@@

Besides there has been phases where she would prefer him over me. He would have his time...

It is very normal that she is going through this. My daughter went through it as well. Now at just a year old she loves her dad to death. Although she still wants mommy when she is tired or upset about something. My brothers daughter did this as well to him and to my mom. All she ever wanted was my SIL. Now she goes to anyone and she is 7 months old. It's just a phase.

Hi J.,
My son has gone thru so many phases and he's only 13 months old. He prefers me, when I walk into a room he will fuss or cry if my husband is holding him and will stop immediately if I go to him and pick him up. The best thing for your husband to do is to get involved with feeding time and play time so he's interacting with your daughter on different levels at different times. You may also want to try having him hold her while you leave the room for a while...she will probably stop fussing/crying pretty quickly, it's an out of sight out of mind sort of thing. Your husband shouldn't feel bad...in a few months he'll be her favorite. Good luck!
L.

Hi J. -

My 9 month old recently became a mommy's girl. I took a week off during Christmas and it was pretty much just her and I and ever since then she prefers the mommy. My husband has been getting his feelings hurt. I also think we as moms are just more comforting, that is our nature. My daughter will go to my husband but it is really clear who she wants more right now. When she had a really bad cold she didn't want daddy at all. I was telling my own mother this and she even said that it will all change and soon enough she will be a daddy's girl.
I also think the other moms are right and let daddy try and comfort her and you not rescue him, as much as you would like too.
Hope this helps.

Little ones are very smart and they know who there mommy is. You (mommy) are comfortable hold your little one. Perhaps daddy is not as comfortable holding the litte one-- and the little one knows it. Just a thought

Babies have an amazing sense of feeling ...in other words, they can feel your stress. If your husband is nervous when he holds her, she will sense that and get stressed and cry. I have witnessed this many times with my three babies when I have given them to a person that isn't used to holding babies OR when I myself am stressed out.

You may want him to play with her while she is in her bouncie seat or on a blanket. Once she is used to seeing him along in a non-threatening way without you, she will probably warm up to more interaction with him. With all of that said, babies prefer their mommies!! Just wait ..I have two girls and even though they LOVED me as infants, as toddlers - it is ALL about Daddy! ;)

Someone told my husband when he was a new dad that babies are for mama's and around 2 then they get fun for Dad's. My husband has alwasy been involved, but his bond with our children does seem to get stronger around 1 or so. Hope that gives you some hope.

My youngest, now 17 months old, does this still occasionally. Daddy is only home in evenings for an hour or so before her bedtime and weekends. When she started doing this, it really upset him. It's one thing when she's hurt and wants Mommy, but all the time?? Anyway, I made it a point to 'disappear' and MAKE her hang out with him. Sometimes just going upstairs/downstairs to leave them alone, but on weekends I'd do the store, etc. and leave them alone. Helped A LOT. She still isn't as close to him as me, but that makes sense as I am always with her. If you make them be together, it may take a little time, but it will work.

It may be a hearing problem and the "boom" of his voice scares her. That was the issue w/one of my nieces. We were so mystified why she didn't like being around men ~ no man. We also noticed that she could sleep through all kinds of noise. So once, when she fell asleep during a family get-to-gether, we got out pans and made loud, clanging noise right by her. She didn't hear it. We knew she wasn't totally deaf, but obviously enough to make deep voices scare her. She is now 14 and hears and speaks normally. When she was about 5, Easter Seals worked with the her and the sounds that she hadn't been been able to pick up during her early years. Before that, she had an operation that cleared up her hearing ~ both at the ages recommended by doctors. Best wishes in figuring this out. In the meantime, we'll pray that your husband doesn't get discouraged and give up being trying to interact with her.

Oh, that's a rough one for hubby. The baby can probably feel the nervousness of its daddy and responding by crying. Babies can feel anxiety and respond accordingly. Make sure daddy is holding securely so he's not nervous. Don't "be there" to rescue him. Good luck mommy and daddy.

Tell him to try eliminating cologne & deoderant for a day or so... that was the problem with my 4 month old and her grandpa. Fresh out of the shower with nothing on - he could hold her for hours... after he applied his after shave or deoderant she didn't want anything to do with him. Also have him wear a warm fuzzy sweatshirt - similar to a blanket that the baby likes to cuddle with.

J.,

Mom of six here, ages 13 to 3 and I was a private nanny for 5 years. If Dad is a good Dad and you trust him, start leaving the house for short bursts of time. Baby needs to learn to trust. Tell Dad that it is going to rough, but only for a short time. Start with 10 minutes and work your way to 30. She'll be loving her Daddy in no time. Even if you just drive down the block, she should see you leave so she knows you're not there to rescue her.
Hope this helps,
J.

It's possibly that daddy's just not comfortable holding her yet. Babies can sense that kind of tension or nervousness. It may be hard, but you could just leave them alone together for a couple of hours. That way they get accustom to each other and quickly. You need to be able to get some downtime, too.

J.,

Hang in there! I have four daughters, and my second daughter was the exact same way! From her birth she completely preferred me over my husband. Since she had an older sister, we both just laughed it off. I continued to hand her over to her father regularly. He accepted that he wasn't me, but didn't give her back. I am happy to report, she is now ten, and enjoys both of her parents.