Custody Trouble

Updated on January 13, 2011
A.N. asks from Pittsburg, CA
11 answers

Hello, My ex-boyfriend and I split just before our daughter turned 1. I did put his name on the birth certificate and established paternity. He has legal rights to her but not custodial rights, unless he chooses to file for them in court. For the last three years I have been planning a trip to Spain for this summer and was planning on taking my daughter with me. I already have her passport, but was wondering if I might need anything else from her dad so that I could take her. Someone mentioned that I might need him to sign a notarized letter, but that might be a difficult thing to acquire. The embassy has been very vague about my situation because my ex and I were not married and he has never filed for custody. I just dont wanna find out at the airport that I can't leave the country with her. Any ideas?

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I think you need to speak to a family lawyer about this. It also might be a good idea to esablish the custodial/visitation rights legally. I don't believe you will be prevented from leaving the country - they likely won't know at the airport that you are or are not married to the baby's father or who has custody. The issue is whether he is okay with this trip and doesn't press kidnapping charges. If he won't give a letter giving his consent, then it sounds like he isn't consenting to you taking her out of the country. Speak to a lawyer, get the custodial rules established.

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K.I.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Do you have a copie of the custody?? If so...you just may take it to the airport with your other documents.....
they will ask for a permit from her father to leave the country...but if you have full custody this will be not necessary , call the airport customer service or you travel agent, they should answerd all your questions.

1 mom found this helpful

J.C.

answers from Columbus on

I would be concerned, too. When we went to Germany a few years ago, they gave us a REALLY hard time leaving Germany about my oldest son having a different last name than hubby, myself and other son. I felt like the only reason they allowed us to take him home with us were the facts that A. my boys all look almost exactly the same, and B. we happened to be traveling with my parents, who shared my son's last name. I hadn't even considered that it might be a problem, he had my maiden name as a last name, and I had full legal/physical custody...again, it wasn't a problem leaving the US that we had, but a problem getting home! You just never know and it is definitely better to be safe than sorry!

1 mom found this helpful
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T.Y.

answers from Sacramento on

I am a notary and would be happy to help you out. All you need is a letter signed by the father that he agrees to allow your daughter to go out of the country with you and you will have all rights if something happens to her to take care of the needs until you return to the states.
It is considered a declaration and should be easy to write up. Email if you would like further help to ____@____.com
Good luck!
T.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't think that since he doesn't any legal custody that you need anything. We were in a similar situation a couple yrs. ago with my step-daughter and her mom had my hubby write a note saying that she could take their daughter out of the country and he did not have legal custody established either. I would call the Family Courts just to make sure, but I don't think you are required to get anything since you have sole custody. Good Luck!!

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Call the airline and ask.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Speak to a family attorney and have documentation that clearly spells out custodial rights. If you have sole custody it should not be an issue unless you have a written legal notorized agreement. Consult an attorney. They would be best place to start and will save you some headaches before traveling.

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

You are the full custodian parent. You do not need to ask anyone's permission to take your daughter anywhere.

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L.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Check with a lawyer. I was grilled by Canadian immigration after flying into Montreal for a conference with my son. They asked for a notarized letter from my husband (father) giving me permission to travel with our son. I did have paperwork for the conference which they finally accepted 45 minutes and 7 officials later. The airlines only care that you have the proper paperwork (passport & visa) to enter the country that they are flying you to. If they fly someone without the proper paperwork, they could be required to return the person, at the airlines expense, to their original location.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I also believe you will need a notarized letter from the father. Since neither of your have legal physical custody, you may run into a problem. I'd get the letter.

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I flew with my daughter of out the country, I did get the letter notarized and signed by my husband. But, they never once asked for it. But, just to be on the safe side get some information. However, you entioned the you have full custody of your daughter. Which means you dont need his permission, right?

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