Curiosity or Is It More?

Updated on November 19, 2010
S.G. asks from Ramona, CA
14 answers

There is this little boy that lives done the street from us that was coming over to play with my boys. I no longer allow him to come over because the last two times he did he asked my six year old son (he is also six) to see his privets and both times when I went to talk to the boys about it the other boy ran home. I was wondering if I should call someone or just not let my kids play with him anymore?

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

I think it's just curiousity and he ran because he got caught & embarrassed. As a parent I would just tell the kid that it is not appropriate behavior and not to do it anymore. I would tell your son not to participate in anything like that either. If you still don't feel comfortable with the kid, let his parents know.

3 moms found this helpful

R.M.

answers from Modesto on

It's normal, but warrants a visit with his mom to inform her of his curiosities so she can solve it.

3 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Modesto on

Probably just checkin for circumcision data, haha.
Boys are not shy with their "junk".
This is normal, but I would tell your son the "good touch bad touch" story. And let him know that his privates are his privates and he really shouldnt be whippin it out.... and that his friend shouldnt be either.

If you aint goin pee then just let it be.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

You need to let the other parents know why their son is longer allowed to play over at your house. That gives them the opportunity to discuss it with their son. This is also a good time to discuss the issue of privacy and touching again with your kids.

It could be curiosity or it could be that this child is exposed to more than they should be, they could be abused. Could be a number of things.

3 moms found this helpful
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F.W.

answers from Flagstaff on

Welcome to curiosity. 6 is the right age. In my family sex education started then because of the niave great granddma who got married out of wedlock and was shunned the rest of her life. It's time to have a starting conversation with your son, you don't have to tell him much. GO ahead and talk to the boy's parents. Maybe he just is curious and doesn't know how to behave. I know this is a touchy subject but kids sometimes start up knowledge bases before we are ready=)

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

At that age, I would say that it is probably curiosity that is sparking his interest. Instead of forbidding him to play with your son, I think this is a good time to, (a) get to know this child's parents if you haven't already, and (b) both sets of parents speak with the boys together and on their own about the importance of keeping their privates private.

This doesn't have to be a huge deal (you don't want it to become this big shameful experience that will dog them for the rest of their lives) but you should use this experience as a springboard for asking them (your sons, not this boy) if they have any questions about their body and the importance of not showing off their body parts that are normally covered by a bathingsuit to someone (even someone they know) if that person asks.

But I really wouldn't worry about this little boys intentions beyond that unless you have more reason to be concerned. At this point, it's probably just curiousity and nothing more.

Hope this helps.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Definitely mention it to the mom. Most likely it's curiosity. Approach it like "Guess what I found Jimmy & Bobby doing....." And "I'm just telling you so you know, because if Bobby does anything like that at your house, PLEASE let me know b/c I would want to know!"

1 mom found this helpful

S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

Tough question. Hard to speculate as little kids get curious. I would just not have the boys play with him. Seems a little harmless at this point but if you are always going to wonder.... CPS will take annoymo. callers I think.

1 mom found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Talk to his mom about it. It could be curiosity, or it could be more if he has been a victim of sexual t******* h******, or seen sexual content in mags/tv.... kids this age do act out, I know my good friend was sexually assaulted at this age by a youth who had been molested. You won't fully know b/c your son stopped it before it had a chance to grow into something more.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

For a 6yr old, I think that's normal. I have a 6yr old niece that is very curious about other's privates. They're just learning that things are different, and this boy may not be exposed to or taught about it at home.
That said, I would make sure your boys tell him that those are their p****** p**** and not for other people to see or touch. - However you want to word that.
The boy just may need a little help socially. I would very much doubt that it's meant to be inappropriate. He's probably just curious.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Hopefully it's just curiosity. I would mention it to his mom - I would want to know. Just keep it a light and easy conversation.

I think this also presents a great opportunity to talk to your son. Tell him that he did an awesome job telling you and that he absolutely did the right thing my not showing him and by telling you.

Hopefully, this kids mom will tell him to "keep it in his pants" and all will be resolved.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

Well- on one hand, that is the age where kids start to do that! I mean, it is perfectly normal to be curious and also, if a mom caught you or asked you about it, to run away and be all embarrassed.

I would just speak to the other mom about it- don't be angry or accuse her son of doing something 'bad'. Just let her know that he was doing a little "show me yours and I'll show you mine" and say that you thought she would want to know.

I would not keep your son from playing with the boy, but I would have a little talk with your son about that. Don't make it into TOO big a deal and scare him- but he is old enough to be reminded that our private areas are just that- private. We use them when we go to the bathroom, but no one else needs to see them or touch them, even friends their own age.

Tell your son it's natural to be curious, but that if his friend brings it up again, he should just say " No, my p****** p**** are not for looking at." and ask him to let you know if it happens again. Remember, you want to always encourage your son to feel comfortable confiding in you and telling you stuff that happens- even UNCOMFORTABLE stuff!

but this sounds pretty normal to me- just talk to the other mom and your son, and maybe next time he comes over, supervise the play a little more- a movie or game where you can be around in the background!

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

Wow! This is kind of scary. I would be apt to call someone about his behavior. 6 years old is too young to be into that kind of curious. Sounds like something is going on. It is about protecting a child, I think you can even talk to the school and they will take the appropriate steps. You can do it all anonymous. It just seems worth it to me, even if nothing is going on with this little boy, you just wouldn't want to find out later that he was being abused and never did anything about it.

I would also not let your children play with him anymore. I know it seems cruel but again it is about protecting children and this could make a huge impact on your babies which are your first priority.

Good luck!

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K.F.

answers from New York on

You really have no way of knowing if it is curiosity or more but I would inform the parent or parents of the other little boy.

If you are going to permit him to come to your house to play you may need to have more supervision when he is at the house. Keep your eyes and ears open at all times when he is there.

Please talk with your kids about keeping their privates private and having them be open with you and let you know what the heck is going on.

I have a friend with a 15 year old step son who has some serious issues that are getting worse. Now he is begining to not have any boundaries with her 12 year old son. She is going to take him for counseling or there is going to be some major problems for him in the near future.

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