Crying Newborn

Been there!!
- is it that he wants only you to hold him? or that he just wants to be held all the time?

- has he been checked for acid reflux?

- keep a warm blanket between your arm and the baby. then as you lay him down he won't feel as much of a break in the connnection.

- if possible wear a shirt or sweatshirt of your hubby's for a day or two. your scent will get on the shirt. Then have hubby wear the shirt while he tries to calm the baby.

- put him in his infant carrier while in the house. Loved that thing! carry the carrier from room to room as needed. set the carrier on the floor, not the table or counter while you take care of chores, help your daughter, etc.

- teach hubby your soothing methods. women sway, men bounce.

- about 10 mins before bedtime, lay a warm from the dryer blanket in the crib. this will warm the sheet. remove the blanket when you lay baby down.

If you are the only one holding him all the time, then he isn't learning to trust others. He isn't learning to self soothe. Its okay for a baby to cry. Go in 5 minute intervals. Lay him down. If he starts to cry, let him cry for 5 minutes. If he's still crying, or his crying hasn't lessened send Dad in. If the crying has lessened but still going, wait. Its okay for a baby to cry while your in the bathroom. Its okay for him to cry while you take a shower. Its okay for him to cry while you fix a snack.

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You could try the suggestions you've gotten about swaddling. You could try putting him in his seat, one that secures him well with a strap or whatever, and sometimes they feel more secure like that. I wouldn't do it for months but for right now it might help at night as they fit in there more snuggly. If it was me, and I did this in my day, I would put him on his tummy and if you are feeding him often you will be checking on him often. All but one of my 8 kids slept on stomach in the 'old days'. You could put a musical crib toy in the bed and that helps sometimes to hear music that is quiet. Otherwise don't be discouraged and spend as much time as you can with your 19 month old during the day and let the baby sit by you or in a swing and he will soon learn. Right now he's just so little and needs you, you are tired and adjusting, etc., etc. I know how you feel and if you could find someone to help out even for an hour it would help you all. Each day will get better.

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My son was this way even with swaddling. I just let him sleep in his carseat next to the bed. That was the only thing that worked for us.

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I agree with swaddling. Still, he is 4 weeks old. He needs you to hold him to make sure you are there. It's a time to build trust and he's very young to not know where you are. You are his only feeling of security and it is very important he knows you are near. It will not always be this way. Get a carrier so you have free hands it won't take long.

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I hear you. My first born was like that - although it must be so much more for you, because you also have a toddler to care for... During the day I wore him in a Babybjorn (he didn't care for the sling) and then an Ergo carrier, when he outgrew the bjorn. At night, I co-slept with him. It wasn't how I envisioned parenthood, but once I ditched my expectations and followed his lead in terms the (high!) needs this particular child, we got in synch and he's now a happy, well adjusted 5 year old. Believe me, we tried so many things, but what it came down to is that my little guy was just really intense and needed a LOT of snuggle/connection time as he learned to face and experience the world. On the bright side? He's a pretty independent little guy now, but he's still very connected. Good luck and I wish you and your little one a good night's sleep.

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I couldn't have survived without my baby carriers. When small, I'd suggest a moby wrap type (I had the Baby K'Tan, which didn't require wrapping). The Ergo, BabyHawk Mei Tai, or Beco Butterfly II can all be used from newborn up. If you up the holding during the day, he will likely be more content at bedtime. Newborns just need your physical contact. You can also find used ones at Diaperswappers.

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I second the swaddling and the swinging and the patting. Once he is asleep, and you put him down, how long are you letting him cry before going to get him? I would wait at least 15 minutes even though I know it is hard. In the end he may just crash out and stay asleep. As for food, is his tummy full? Try and get as much breastmilk or formula in him as possible. I really like those swaddlers with the velcro that keep them so snug. Can hubby take him and drive him around for a little while, then let him continue to sleep in the carrier?

I am sorry you are going through this, it will get better! If nothing else works, find someone who can alternate nights with you so that you can get some decent sleep. Good luck!

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are you swaddling? both my kids could sleep thro
ugh anything as long as they were swaddled, good luck
wish I could offer more suggestions. is there a relative that can offer help?

Try to swaddle him. They have the swaddle me blankets that make it easy to do. I don't know why it took me to baby #3 to try swaddling, but it is a lifesaver. Be prepared for him to fight it when you are doing it, but in the end he will sleep more peacefully. We also love the pacifier too. Does he have reflux? Babies with reflux tend to want to be held upright. Or maybe colic? My 3 month old goes through this from time to time, today being one of those days where she didn't want me to put her down so I feel your pain. You could also get a carrier to cart him around with you all day so your hands are free, that is what my doc suggested, but it kills my back.

Try the Nap Nanny, it is pretty expensive ($130) at BRU, but I got it for my daughter who had problems with gas and reflux and it was a miracle! :) I would swadlle her up nice and close and put her down and she would go right to sleep (after about a week of putting her down asleep). It was great. It is elevated but allows you to strap them in so when they are that small they can't fall out. I also put it in the middle of my bed when she slept. I highly recommend it! If it's too expensive, try looking on ebay or at a secondhand place. The cover can be taken off completely and washed, and the foam can be wiped down with warm water and soap.

I can think of two things:

first, when he's on your chest, he hears your heartbeat so maybe get a white noise machine that has a heartbeat option and put that in his crib;

second, when you lay him down, he's not as warm (no body heat). Try heating up the mattress/sheet or whatever you're laying him down on. Between the two, you might be able to put him down to sleep.

Good luck and congrats on your new bundle of joy!

newborns need held...they do grow out of it...been there three times! You will survive...that's about all I can say!

Try Swaddling. There are tutorials on youtube. It takes a bit of practice to get a good tight swaddle. Or if you want simple they sell swaddle blankets with velcro that makes it a lot easier.

OMG, this was my son to a T (he's now 5 and a great sleeper). We found that he had tummy troubles (lots of gas) and I suspected that part of being on me was that he could be face down and this helped with the gas. SIDS is a real real concern and I would NOT put your infant face down under any circumstances (I have a friend whose son dies of SIDS). This is what we did:
1) definitely burp the baby; be persistent and wait for that gas to come up
2) use the Miracle Blanket swaddle (only one that worked) -- its expensive but you only need 1; wash it and then sleep in bed with it under you so it smells like you
3) put a wedge under the crib mattress so it's at a slight angle
4) wear a big tshirt for several days, then put the mattress in the t-shirt (so it's not loose and is like a sheet); then the baby can smell you
5) put the crib/moses basket right next to your bed so he can hear you breathing
6) use a sling (moby wrap or ergo carrier which really protects your back and can be used for a long time) during the day to save your arms
7) slowly practice putting him down during the day while he's fully awake on a blanket next to you, on the floor, etc. with you right near him and talk, sing, etc. so he know you're there and can see you but you're not holding him. He'll get more used to not being held all the time.

I realized, too late, that when my son was born, people were holding him 24/7-- then the whole extended family left and he was totally used to being held all the time.

Also, contact your pediatrician and see if you can come in for a chat. There might be something else, medical, going on and/or they may have some good advice.

Good luck and hang in there! It gets getter I promise!

Try swaddling him. I would put him down in the crib and pat him while he cries. Try different positions - side, back, stomach. Sometimes babies do better on their tummies. I know SIDS is a concern, but SIDS happens so seldomly. (My ped had me put my second son on his belly because he just couldn't sleep any other way.)

The only way you are going to get him to stop sleeping on you is to make him. He likes this. You have to get some rest and take care of your family. Put him down, pat him until he passes out asleep. You are there - he feels you, he is not alone. He will finally get used to his bed. Swaddling him will help him feel like he is in the womb.

During the day, when you really have to get something done, you could try wearing him some in a sling. But if you are like me, I couldn't do it because my back couldn't take it.

Good luck!
D.

I feel your pain. I remember so many frustrating days early on because there was no rest of relief from the little barnacle, it seemed. It is always difficult when you've got an older sibling in tow because you can't just sleep when the baby sleeps (seriously, who is the mother with more than one child that can do that?) or drop what you're doing (i.e.-potty training eventually) the second the baby cries. It's an adjustment all around for everyone. I think you got a lot of good responses so far (swaddling, CARRIER DURING THE DAY--let him nap in there when convenient--I let my second one take his naps in there until 3-4 months and then I got adamant about doing the crib at that point where he has slept like a champ, dad take over when you can let him), but I also disagree with some.
I think we have selective amnesia when it comes to certain things about pregnancy/newborn parenting. If we didn't, I don't think we'd continue having kids. (Something to note: we all know lots of baby people, but have you ever met a newborn person? I haven't.) I also think some information we get about childrearing is very western and self-centered. A 4 week old self-soothing? Waiting for 15 minutes while a 4 week old cries before deciding if it's a necessary cry? Yikes. A newborn is, by it's nature, very high maintenance. It's been carried in you for 9 months and needs the attachment and to be able to trust that you are there for them to grow to be confident to be independent. Ignore that need and that's where the problems begin. I've never been completely on board with attachment parenting (I could never in a million years co-sleep), but I think there are a lot of wonderful things that come from it yielding great results.
Also, I saw this video recently and have heard form a number of moms who said it saved them so much frustration. I recommend watching it. I am so disappointed I had never heard of this when my kids were at this age.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1fsofmvz4g
Sorry to have written so much, as I know your time is at a premium right now, but I hope some of it was helpful. Good luck! I'm sure your instincts and whatever advice works for your son will make all the difference.

Sounds exactly like my daughter. The only peace we had was after the miracle blanket. I tried all the other swaddling blankets but she was able to get out of them. One night in the miracle blanket and she slept for 6 hours in her crib. I highly recommend them, it saved my sanity and now she's a good sleeper, up to 12 hours /night in her own room! Good luck, I know it's frustrating.