Crying 7 Year Old in the Mornings

Oh, dear - C. - how tough for you all -- and I'm so sorry that he has discovered how powerful it is to throw a fit and not answer people. I strong suggestion -- at a time when ne seems quiet and calm - -NOT in the morning- say '' hmmm -- Henry-- mornings are being really hard for all of us - do you have a suggestion on how to make it better?? ''' --regardless of whether he gives you a pleasant answer - a grumpy answer or more tantrums --- regardless - ssay -- ''' your Dad and I have decided that since mornings are SO tough- that we are going to take you to day care in your pajamas. We don't like tantrums - and this way- you'll not have to worry about it- we'll take care of everything'' ( you will need to get permission from your neighbor- but I'spect it willbe fine with her) You can add'''' when you feel like you can help us by picking out your clothes - and getting dressed nicely-- that will be super - but until then- we'll solve the problem by picking out outfits FOR you - - and just taking the clothes and you to 'nancys' house''''''

That's a very ''' Love and Logic'' 'kind of response- but more importantly it puts you and Dad kindly- firmly- without argument- in the role of ''''we are the adults - we make decisions- you always get to VOTE - but we have decided- and there it is''''' The only other strategy I'd suggest is be sure that his blood sugar isnt low (I don't mean to imply he's diabetic- we all have dips and spikes in our blood sugar levels through the day-- ) -- try a small glass of OJ and see if that helps - but make sure he knows''' Dad and I have decided to help you out- here is the way it will work- tell us when you have a helpful suggestion'''''

Blessings--
J.

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C. - I would be super grumpy if I had to get up at 5:30am too!! I have a 7 year old who goes to bed at 8pm and gets up at 7:15. Maybe you need to get your kid to bed an hour earlier. That way he is getting more sleep, maybe THAT is why he is so grumpy.
I would also pick out clothes before he goes to bed and just take him to daycare in his pajamas. He can get dressed there.
I would wake my son at 5:50am, sit and cuddle with him for 5 minutes and then take him to the neighbors. Breakfast and getting dressed can be done there.

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more sleep, let him pick out his clothes the night before and go in his pj's but if he can't change at the babysitters, you could let him sleep in his clothes.

also, some people are just not morning people. i am not, and my mom is very much so and happy and talkative in the morning, and i just wanted her to be QUIET.

good luck!

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5:30am is very early for some kids...the only idea I can offer, is maybe (just until he gets adjusted) let him sleep in his clothes? I have heard of people doing that with younger kids when they have to get up very early...maybe it might work for a little while? He really just needs time to adjust. Also, try pushing bedtime to 7:30am?

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earlier bed time and maybe try not getting him dressed and letting him get dressed later at the neighbors house, if possible.

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I concur with the advice of taking him in his PJ's and let him dress and eat at the neighbors. You can provide some food, oh and don't forget a toothbrush/toothpaste for thier house so he can brush his teeth before school. Plain and simple he is tired. My 7 and 5 year olds go to bed at 7:30 to get up at 7:30 and some days that isn't enough sleep. He can have the 8pm bedtime on the weekend and then see how long he sleeps on his own so you know how much he requires. Plus remember he is not getting any down time at school to rest.

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My son sleeps 11 hours at night from about 7:30-6:30am. If I was in your situation I would be putting him to bed around 7pm.

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Would it be possible for your neighbor to come to your house so your son could get more sleep?

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I agree-- 11 to 12 hours sleep, or my almost-seven-year-old is completely unmanagable. Second thing (I was reminded forcefully this morning): feed him FIRST, get him dressed SECOND.

;) :P!!!!!

(Wish I'd remembered that BEFORE the huge (albeit verbal) fight this morning about not being willing to wear any of his three pairs of jeans ... I let him eat in his underpants, and then he wandered off and got dressed with no further commentary (nor mommy attention)!!

Poor kid (your son, with this change)--I'm with him on how it feels to have to get up at 5:30. My mom swears at age 4 I used to get up at 5:30 on my own. I don't believe her ;). Certainly by 5 I was a champion morning complainer ... and (not surprisingly) a champion sneaky-manipulative-stay-up-later-er!

Good luck sorting your new situation out :).

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Hey there! Wow, that's a tough one! My son is also 7. He does not have to get up nearly as early as your son does ...and my son still complains when waking up for school. I used to get really upset and frustrated when he would wake up and grunt and throw a fit but now I just ignore it. I go in about 3 times to wake him. The firs two are pats on the back to wake him and the second time i let him know that next time i come in he has to get up. He ALWAYS throws a fit bout it but i just say "get up now or you won't have a chance to eat breakfast before the bus comes" . Then he gets up and gets dressed in a mad fit but i just keep ignoring it. Now, this works for me but i understand all kids are different and i do not have to get ready for work as i stay home with my baby right now. Would you be able to do a little bit of an earlier bed time? I know that is hard with schedules and family times etc, but if you can work it in maybe you could try that. Maybe getting more sleep will help him. If not, how about maybe giving him something to wake up for?Like, maybe he could watch a favorite movie while eating breakfast or if he gets up early enough he could have a few mins to play before leaving..etc? I dont know..just some thoughts! Good luck to you!! =)

**I Just remembered this trick! On mornings my husband is home, he will go in and tickle my son awake. He gets him going until he is laughing so hard and that helps to wake him in a happy mood! He will be playful with him after that for a little.. Logan still hates to get up but he doesnt throw a monster fit and is a bit more cheerful due to waking up in a tickly good mood! I forget to try that some mornings! :)

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A few things come to mind... 1, he may just not be getting enough sleep. Sounds odd, but I have a 10 year old that at least once a week goes to bed at 7 in order to get up at 6:45 and function. He can handle an 8:00 bedtime for a day but by day two you can't handle him cause he's so worn out. And it's worse if he's in a growing spurt.
2, you aren't allowing a lot of time for him to wake up and have to move. I am sure you want to let him sleep as long as possible, but to him, it may feel like he's being really rushed the second he wakes up... before he really has time to think... and he's meeting it with defiance, as most kids would. Maybe get him up 15 min. earlier and allow him to have a few min. to wake up before you're demanding clothes, etc.
3, Get everything you possibly can ready the night before. Set out his clothes, etc. so it takes less time for him to get ready... this will allow more time for him to wake up before demands.
4, Does he really have to be dressed before he leaves the house? Is it possible that he could wear sweats, etc. to bed and get dressed at the babysitters? Just a thought.

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Hi C. - I second all the Mamas on he clearly needs more sleep. Yes, he is adjusting to the the schedule but he still needs sleep. It sounds like he is being woke up in the wrong part of the sleep cycle (the non communication, crying, etc). I have a 6 & 8yr old. Both of my boys I put to bed at 7pm during the school year (including weekends) because they are up at 6:45am (helps to have a set routine). It might be very hard for your family but I think that you at least "need" to move up his bedtime considerably. He is also old enough to sit & talk to him about why the early days & what he can do to help the process. For our family we try to eat between 5 & 6pm (even if Dad is not home), then into bedtime routine (bath, teeth, reading, etc). Then lights out at 7pm. My kids (me too) get grumpy when we get up before we have had all our sleep. What about getting him up just enough to get him to the neighbor's so he can go back to sleep, then he can get up, eat & get dressed there. When we have had to do things like that I always try to have a bag packed with their clothes for the day, lunches packed, and even breakfast ready to help save time. Hopefully you will be able to find something that will work for your son & family soon. God Bless

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Hi C.,

Your son has my sympathies...I had a job which required me to wake at five, and I quit when I was pregnant. I was so tired in the morning I wanted to cry, but was too tired.

So, you have a few options. First, put him to bed earlier. 5:30 is extrememly early for a kid to wake. A 7 o'clock bedtime would suit the situation.

Second, think about how you can make this transition easier for him, because asking a kid to be up and functioning at such an early time isn't fair to anyone involved. In regard to getting dressed, I'd find out if he could just go to the sitters in his pj's. He can pack a backpack of clothes the night before and change when he's more awake; you can pick up the backpack of pajamas the next morning when you drop him off. (I know, two backpacks--but it's easier than what you're doing right now, maybe!) Or see if he's be up for wearing his next-day clothes to bed. This is unconventional, surely, but will lessen the frustration of having to dress every morning. It's important to remember, too, that having to make decisions about which clothes to wear and having to get dressed is akin to waking up to a forced march each morning.

Between the change in sitters and the change in wake-up times, this is a lot for a young child. Nobody's fault...these things just need to happen. For what it's worth, as a nanny I've been privy to several different families mornings, and even at 8 or 9, kids are still needing a lot of support from parents to get out the door. Streamlining by picking out clothes the night before, etc. can help, but some kids are just tired when they wake, period. So, again, I'd urge you to try an earlier bedtime. Oh...and if it helps, my suggestion would be to also wake him up 15 minutes earlier. This might sound like hell, but it will give you a bit of a time buffer which could take the edge off a little.

My best to you and I hope something here helps or gives you an idea that will work for your family.

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Try just getting him out of bed and taking him straight to the neighbors house. Then maybe he can lay down for a little longer and get dressed at the babysitters before school. He may just need a little more time to wake-up.

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He's adjusting to a new routine, let him get acclimated. Wake him earlier to prevent you from being late. Pick out his clothes with him the night before. Try to have as much as you can get done for the next day the night before.

I would move his bed time up to 7 so he can get more sleep. If you do not see some improvement then I would start taking away something he likes to do for the time you are late. He is old enough to understand what he is doing is unacceptable. Does he have an amount of time he is allowed to watch TV or play video games? If so then subtract time for the time you are late to work so he understands the meaning of the time.

Put him to bed earlier. Some kids need more sleep than others.

He's VERY tired. At his age, seven, he should be getting an average of 11 hours of sleep per night. Not getting enough sleep not only causes the behavior you're experiencing but also longterm and lasting affects on his body's development, brain development, ability to learn, etc. Put him to bed MUCH earlier and you'll find him happy in the morning. Also, I'd bet that he's stressed by the changes and also the shuffling from one place to the next. Do everything you can to reduce what needs to happen in the morning. Pick out clothes the night before and lay them out, rehearse the plan, give him warning in the morning BEFORE things need to happen (i.e. "In about five minutes I need you to get out of bed and put on the clothes you laid out last night."). Trying at all costs to allow him enough sleep for his body to wake up naturally is essential at this stage of his life. This may necessitate a very early bedtime as I mentioned, but you'll find that he'll be happy and you'll know you're doing the best thing for him.

One thing that may help, if you don't mind a few wrinkles, is to have him wear the clothes for next day to bed. Do everything you can before waking him - make his breakfast, have everything ready to go. It's tough enough for adults to make decisions when they are tired and cranky, so it's got to be plenty more difficult for him. Good luck! I hope it all works itself out.

Ugh - 5:30 is even early for a grown-up. Try to be patient as you all adjust to this new schedule. At 7 he is old enough to dress himself. Maybe you can have him take clothes to childcare or the neighbors and wear his PJs there. He can then have the responsibility for dressing himself at a better hour.
Another thought is to set up a reward system. With something that he wants at the end of the week if he complies and isnt grumpy each morning. Maybe give him tokens each day when he does well and he can trade them in for a reward later. No tokens for bad behavior.
Hang in there.

isn't he in school? 5:30 sounds like it might be a little too early for him to get up - why can't you pack clothes and take him to the neighbors in pajamas?

Much too few hours of sleep - he should be sleeping 10-12 hrs a day at that age. Imperative for growth and development. You should consider a 6:30-7pm bedtime. I would pick up the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weissbluth. from Powells or the library. It is very informative about sleep needs, averages, behaviors, etc. It is based on years of research by the doc. Good stuff and also has helpful advice about bedtimes and naptimes.

I would say he's tired. Hey, I grunt in the morning when I'm tired, and then burst into tears when things don't go right, and I'm 28! I would put him to bed earlier, if at all possible, and see if it helps.

your biggest problem is that he is not getting nearly enough sleep. A 7 year old needs 10-11 hours of sleep! If your son goes to bed at 8, assuming he falls asleep immediately, he would only get 9.5 hours. He needs to be going to bed at 6:30 or 7. I know that seems very early, but his mornings are very early. You need to allow him enough time to settle down and relax in bed, and then 10-11 hours of SLEEP time. "Sleep is closely linked to learning and memory ability, which can both affect school performance. Foul moods and even depression are also tied to chronic sleep deprivation in both children and adults" (Web MD)
You can try things like having him sleep in his clothes, or bring them to get ready after he has had a chance to wake up, but ultimately, he just really needs more sleep!

http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/news/20040331/kids-n...

Most children need 11-12 hours of sleep. If he'd getting up at 530...that would mean bedtime between 530-630....OR instituting a nap. If you do the math a nap + nighttime sleep with kids still equals 11-12 hours. I know the 530 bedtime would be hard, since most elementary schools don't get kids home until 4, and with a nap you run the risk of having him wired until midnight, if your could even get him to take one.

Another option is if your neighbor is only watching your child...is to have the neighbor come over to your house in the morning (I'm assuming she's/he's getting your son off to school). That way your son would get an extra 2 whole hours of sleep, and she wouldn't be dealing with an exhausted child, and he'd have the energy and focus needed for school.

The middle ground would be putting him to bed in clothes the night before, & or transporting him to the neighbor asleep and or in jammies, if your neighbor can't come over.

C. - It looks like everyone has already given you some great advice. :) When my two step-sons were around your sons age, we did have some issues with them having a change in their wake up time. They were cranky, didn't want to get up, etc... Everything you are describing. We thought we were allowing them enough time for sleep. They were getting anywhere from 8-9 hours. We talked to our family doctor. She told us that children their age should be getting 12 hours of sleep. We adjusted their bedtime and once they got used to going to bed so early, they started to behave much better in the mornings. They also started behaving better not only at home but at school too and getting better grades.

I also agree with everyone about the clothes too. Try to get everything for him ready (and he can help with it) the night before and maybe allow him to wear his pjs over to the neighbor's house if possible. He is old enough to start helping you out with getting his clothes, school items, and even lunch for school (if he takes one) ready the night before.

If things don't get better, as someone else pointed out, he is also old enough to understand that his behavior is unacceptable and there are consquences for it. I agree with having a set amount of time for tv, computer, video games, etc.. and taking away some of that time every time you have to talk to him more than two times about a particular behavior. If taking away time does not work, he isn't too old for time outs. However, he does need to understand why he had the time out or the time taken away from him. So after everything is said and done and everyone is calmed down, try talking about what happened and how it could've been prevented. If the behavior happens in the morning and you don't have time to talk about it before work, then when you get home you could sit down with him and talk about what happened in the morning.

Hope all the advice everyone has given helps you find what works for you and your family. :)

Sounds like he may not be getting enough sleep. How about moving his bedtime to 6:30 or 7 pm? Also, does he take a nap at his daycare? Of course, make sure there is not some other reason why he doesn't want to go to your neighbor's house - like bullying by older kids, etc.

He needs more sleep if you are getting him up at 5:30!! Definately get him to bed by 7:00 pm. This will be easier as the days are getting darker earlier! But I think he is just not getting enough sleep!

Hi!
5:30 is really early for a 7 yo. Any possibility he could pick his clothes out the night before and go to the neighbors in his PJs and lay down for another 1/2 hour or so and then get dressed there? I don't know how you working moms do it. You coordinate so much with busy schedules etc. Good luck!
H.

Let him stay in his pjs, put his clothes in a back pack, and let him get dressed at the neighbor's house. He is half asleep and the less you do to disturb him the better.