Cry It Out 9Month Old SCREAMING!

Does he stop screaming if you pick him up? Perhaps he just needs to be hugged and cuddled. Honestly, I really don't agree with this method of sleep training. Babies tell you what they need by crying which is the only way they have to communicate. IMO you should just pick him up and comfort him. Don't allow him to scream for 20 minutes unnecessarily. This too shall pass.

It sounds like the CIO method is working. When my eldest was a baby he would get really loud and yelly and cry right before he conked out for a long sleep. He was a great sleeper and we used the Teach to Sleep method (same as CIO) which worked well. But he would still get really loud before dropping off. Sometimes he was so loud it was embarrassing! He is a well-rested, well-adjusted nine year old now.

Pick him up, snuggle him, tell him how much you love him, sing to him and rock him to sleep every night, if you want to. I promise this method will not scar him for life. It will teach him that he is safe and secure and loved and that he can always count on his mommy. And it is a much nicer way to end the day. He will be a big boy before you know it and you will long for the days of rocking him to sleep.

Perhaps this is his way of putting himself down. That's a shame, but if it is, there's nothing that you can do to change his need for SOMETHING to help him soothe himself to sleep.

To be honest, your remark that you've been using the CIO method for 3 months seems a little strange. The CIO method is used to teach a child to sleep through the night. From your description, your child has already learned it and is consistently doing that. The method works. What is be-deviling you is how he goes down every night. That's really different than him actually sleeping through the night. He has learned how to self-soothe during the middle of the night, and that is great.

How did he go to sleep before he was six months old? Did you hold him? Did you rock him?

I'm not saying that you should necessarily go back to whatever worked before to get him down at the beginning of sleeptime, but he obviously needs SOMETHING to go to sleep at the beginning, and he's screaming in order to wind down. Either accept that he needs to do this, or try some other form of soothing in order to bypass the screaming. Just understand that if you do try to bypass the screaming, you need to go ahead and be consistent until he passes this stage. It may take a while. However, DON'T do it if he wakes in the middle of the night. Continue to expect him to self-soothe during the night (unless he's ill) or sleep training will be for nothing...

I would never use that method myself. Kids cry because they need something. It's not like they can tell you what they need. It's not working, unless you hadn't noticed this method isn't working for you.

Maybe the kiddo isn't sleepy yet.

I gave all the kids a bottle as I got them to sleep at night and they're just fine, didn't hurt them at all to have love and attention at bed time.

I remember my child crying for a little while falling asleep, but sleeping throught the night. I found he was overtired and i put him down earlier and made sure he was burped and comfy bit I too let him cry. He didnt scream though so maybe ask your dr what they think it could be and then it is up to you on the method you use at bedtime.

He needs the binky at this age. Not all kids do (I had one of each), but those that do really need it. Throw 4 or 5 in the crib so when it falls out of his mouth, he can easily find another.

And the binky doesn't have to go away at 1.5 years. Our pediatric dentist said as long as they are only napping/sleeping with it, it can stay around until they are 3yo without causing permanent tooth movement. At this age, your kiddo doesn't have other tools to use for self-soothing. At 3yo, he should.

If he settles down and sleeps after 20 min of screaming it might just be what he needs to do to settle himself.
It's not like it goes on for hours.
Does he do this at nap time too?
Eventually he'll outgrow it.

What time are you putting him down for the night? I found that at that age, they go to sleep with much less of a fight if you put them down no later than 7pm. Also, if he has any way of comforting himself, such as a pacifier, make sure he has that before you put him down.

Do you have a nightlight in his room? Also, perhaps play soothing music or white noise. We also used a timed musical light that projects a starfish image on the wall. It plays for about 15 minutes and then cuts off. Something like that might give him something to distract him or soothe him as he goes to sleep.
CIO also just works better and faster for some babies. My son was a textbook case. My daughter- well we never got it to work. She would scream her head off, and with another child in the house sleeping, we would have to cave. She's was a much poorer soother than he, and I think it's just her nature. Even now at 4, she is very outgoing and requires to be the center of attention. It's all about her all the time! lol It makes perfect sense now why it just didn't work back then!

He's not just crying for no reason.
He's trying to let you know, in the only way this new life can, that he needs something.
Please don't let him cry like this any more.
Pick him up & see what he needs.
Chances are he can be gassy.
Like you said, it's not just fussy it's SCREAMING.
So he's trying to tell you something.
Pick him up, be sure he's not in any kind of pain (gassy belly, diaper
rash etc.).
Do you put him to bed too early?
Something to remember, what once worked for your child may not continue to work as they grow.
4 months of letting this continue is way too long.
Maybe he's starting to pre-teethe. My youngest did that at this age so I
rubbed Infant Orajel on his gums & Hylands teething tabs. Later as he grew we used Infant Tylenol.
His "screaming" as you put it, is his only way to communicate to you his
needs. He needs something.
Try different things until you find the right thing for your child. Each chil
is different and needs different things.

I agree with Doris Day that you are no longer using CIO to get him to sleep through the night. He's been doing that for months. CIO is really what you did in the beginning for 3 or 5 or 7 nights, whatever it was, to get him to sleep through the night and put himself back to sleep in the middle of the night. So it worked.

That's not what's going on here. He's in a really frustrating and annoying habitual practice of screaming for 20 minutes. You have to figure out if this is "just his way" and something you and others can either live with or hope he grows out of, of you can address it by teaching him to calm himself in bed before falling asleep. I think, at this point, I would try some calming techniques because you really can't have him doing this when he's 2 or 5, right? So you have a great nighttime routine with bath, bottle etc.).

Are you positive that there is nothing about the bottle that is causing him some abdominal distress? Can you give that to him an hour before bed and keep him upright? At 9 months he shouldn't need to be fed right before bed. If you feel he needs the comfort of the sucking, can you water down the formula or give him plain water? Make sure he burps of course and let everything settle.

Otherwise, I would lay him down but put a hand on his head or shoulder or whatever, no talking. Just gently rub/caress until he calms down. You could also try saying the prayers with him lying down so he hears your voice and doesn't associate lying down with you leaving the room. Get him completely calm in a lying down position. Try this for 5 full minutes, 10 if necessary. Next night shorten the time, make it shorter and shorter each time, until it's just a little pat. Over a period of a week or so, hopefully it will resolve.

Do these issues occur when other people put him to sleep? What if his father or a babysitter is the one to put him in bed? I'd make sure everything in consistent.

I agree with you NOT to give him the binky. That's the problem with them - they soothe short term but then they fall out, and the child can't adjust or calm down.

And I agree with you that you should not rock him to sleep - there's always the disruption when you stop and put him in the crib. If he doesn't like the singing, then maybe he just needs pure quiet.

CIO is a method I don't really like in the first place, but I will admit at it works well for many babies. It sounds like your son (and my daughter, because I did try it at one point...) are not the type it works on.

When I did it with my dd, at 7 months, I used the Ferber CIO method in which you check on baby in increasingly long intervals (first after 3 minutes, hen after 5, then 10, hen every 15-20 after that...) with no fuss... Just a quick check and soothe then back out. My daughter SCREAMED for up to 6 hours straight for 3 nights before I decided to seek out a different method. I wound up reading to No Cry Sleep Solution book, then tweaked it to fit my own parenting style.

Ultimately, my method was to rock/snuggle her to sleep, then put her down. I would comfort her when she cried, then put her back into her crib as soon as she was asleep again. Once she was falling asleep easily in my arms, I would wait until she was at the point of falling asleep, but not quite there, to put her in the crib. (Repeating as necessary if she woke up...) then I started putting her down drowsy, then awake. Pretty much just make it a gradual transition. I will admit that my method took a while- I would hazard a guess that it would be around 3 months (although, you have to consider that I was also co-sleeping part if the time, and nursing, which broke the consistency and I imagine that dragged out the time quite a bit...) but it was MUCH less stressful for everyone involved.

Good luck figuring his out in a way that fits your needs!

I did the cry it out method. I felt horrible but it worked. But I would only let her cry for a few minutes and then go back in. I started at 5 minutes, then went back in, laid her back down, then went out again, then I would let her go for 10 minutes and so on. It was a rough month, but eventually she got the idea. I still rock her for a few minutes each night, just to snuggle but then she knows its night night time and sometimes she even asks to go in her bed. She does still go to sleep with her bink, but once I know she's really asleep I go in and take it out of her mouth. I don't like her sucking on it all night and once she's asleep she doesn't miss it.

Just make sure that there is nothing like a stuck diaper pin (yes, I believe in diapers), a wedged foot, etc. before you let him cry it out.

Sounds like his habit. I had one child who liked to cry before he fell asleep-and would stop shoot me a dirty look if I "interrupted him" by coming into check on him !! :) Luckily he only did it for like 5 minutes though.

One thing that helps BIG TIME with much sounder sleep over all, like faster falling asleep and staying asleep all night, is FOOD FOOD FOOD all day. He's probably in a growth spurt and hungry enough to be fussy, even though he seems fine all day and is eating normally. If you "force feed" him- I just mean offer him more food and get him to eat more often all day long- after three days his body will adjust and you'll see him being much more settled at night.