Crappy Soccer Coaches

Updated on October 01, 2011
S.C. asks from Milwaukee, WI
13 answers

My daughter (5K) joined a soccer team through our city's parks and recreation department. Each elementary school has practice at the school. We have 2 coaches, a boy and a girl (sorry, they are too young to call man and woman). The girl is 22. The boy looks younger and may still be in HS but I don't know for sure. What I do know is I think they suck as coaches. Today was the 4th practice and they have a game tomorrow. During the 1st practice when they had the kids all lined up to practice throwing the balls in, instead of giving all the pairs balls, the coaches sat and volleyed a ball back and forth. During the 3rd practice instead of playing outside, they moved practice inside. The games are played in any weather and this practice day was windy and chilly, but sunny. They ended practice 20 min early to look at the schedules instead of having it done so the kids got the full hour to practice. And to clarify, the "they" looking is the coaches, not the coaches and parents. Today's practice just blew my mind. We went outside but one kid felt a raindrop out of the partly sunny sky so we went back inside (again, they play games in all weather). By the time they got around to brining the kids outside, then back in there was already 20 min of practice time gone. Once the girl got them going on drills, the boy sat there shooting hoops w/ the soccer balls. She went from group to group to help them, but he ignored them and just shot hoops. 5 min later they called a water break. At this point, the girl gets out her McDonald's french fries and starts to eat them. They call practice back on, her eating fries, him wandering around and shooting baskets. It is driving me insane. Now I understand they are 5K and 1st grade teams, but the coaches are terrible!! Wasting 20 min of time talkiing to each other and moving practices around then the one not helping the kids at all. Once they set them up he just checks out. He's not actually coaching them. What would you do? Would you call the rec dept and let them know? I'm a little leary about doing this because I don't want them to know i was me. There were 3 other parents there talking to each other and then 2 dad's hanging out, but I'm still paranoid they will know it was me. On the other hand, my kid is going to be crushed when they lose because they don't know what they are doing! During the scrimmage, the boy just sat there on the stage (in the gym) and didn't direct the kids at all. They have no clue what they are supposed to be doing and he is not helping them to learn. What would you do?

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So What Happened?

I want to add that I'm not expecting a lot. I'm expecting to laugh as they run the wrong way down the field, and to remind her to stop dancing and watch for the ball and to cheer and give thumbs up all the time. But, I guess I was also expecting the "coach" to actually coach. He pays them no mind once he has told them one time what to do. He doesn't try and remind them about anything. He doesn't even watch them to see if they need reminders. That's the part that really bothers me. How can you teach them by just saying something once and then ignoring and not ever correcting?

Featured Answers

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Welcome to the world of park district sports! They're pretty lousy. You can certainly call and complain, but I don't think it will get you very far. Unless you want to pay big bucks for a soccer club, you'll just have to deal with it.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Become the coach and put in the time, stop complaining, work with your child outside of practice, or find another team for your child with coaches you approve of.

Blessings.....

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C.Z.

answers from Omaha on

As a person who has been married to a soccer coach for many years, I can tell you that what you are experiencing is probably pretty normal. At 5 years old, they are playing "bunch ball" and truly, it is about the snack AFTER the game! It is also about having fun and learning how to play as a team.

It sounds to me like you are looking more for a club like experience for your child. In clubs, most coaches are paid, they have paid trainers and the coaches/trainers are usually older people. You can expect more professionalism. You can also expect that your kid can't miss many (if any) practices or they will not start or may end up benched. At many YMCA's, the teams are parent coached. Maybe this is something you can look into. You would have to learn the game, and take on the responsibility of coaching but you would also be in control of your child's learning and soccer experience.

I truly hope at five years old that your child won't be "crushed" if they lose. They are going to lose MANY games...crushed shouldn't come into play for a long time.

I would also like to add that two of my daughters played college ball, in NAIA (half tuition) and the other is in her senior year at a Division 1 school (full ride) and also plays for the Chilean National team so I understand the importance of good coaching.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Did I get the age right, five years old? That don't play soccer at that age, they play herd ball. If they are playing with a ball learning what a field looks like and that they should run in one direction or the other they are doing just fine.

Sounds to me like you except too much from what you signed up for.

If you don't like it you can put her in club ball it cost around $5,000 a year.

Just an FYI in case you go back to read these. My daughter played CYC since kindergarten. She started playing select, ya know with try outs and all that, in fifth grade. By sixth grade she was one of the top keepers in the state. They need to love the sport to put in what it takes to be good at a sport.

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C.D.

answers from Springfield on

Are these paid coaching positions? If not, you could always volunteer. I have been a certified coach for many years, and up until this year I coached every season my son played from 4 to 14 years old. I started out as a mom with no soccer experience, but a kid who wanted to play, so I learned the game and went with it. We have taken one of the top three medals in 5 out of 6 years at the largest tournament in our state and had several undefeated seasons in both recreational and competitive play. These young coaches may be players that have volunteered because they have experience playing, but probably not any experience coaching.
In any case, the best thing to do is go to the coaches directly and state your concerns. Respectfully tell them how you feel about the lack of fundamental training happening in practice. Does the program have a philosophy for the younger kids about it being more of a social time? I know when my son was that age we taught them basics, but a lot of it was them spending time with peers and learning to be part of a team. If you talk to the coaches and nothing changes, go to the parks and rec director and talk to them.
I wouldn't even be considering wins and losses at this point. The question should always be, "Did you have fun?" If your child says they didn't have fun, try pointing out the positives and not the negatives of the game. Try not to get in the car after a loss and say, "Well if little Timmy would do ____ we would have won." or "If coach _____ would do ____ we would have won." Cheer just as much when they lose as when they win. I always started the season telling the kids that we might not win the most games, but we would always have the most fun. That's the point of youth soccer. Even when we hit the competitive circuit, the main idea was fun first.
Try to be positive, and get involved in creating the team experience you want for your child.
Good luck with the situation and with the first game.

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

It sounds like the rec department doesn't have many volunteers willing to coach so they are making do with what they have. I spent years volunteering in Girl scouts, boy scouts, USA wrestling and Sunday/bible school while my kids were growing up. I still volunteer in the Sunday school and bible school departments. The thing is if you parents would step up to help coach, your children will excell in the sport and it gives you control on how their practices go. I remember when I headed the Girl Scouts in our town, one mother complaining because she rather have the meetings on a different night then my leaders were able to have them. I asked her what night would be good for her and she said any other night. I said "Ok, so you will take over being the leader to have it on that night?" She replied "ME? No way, I am not going to be a leader" So I told her "well I guess we will have to go by the schedule of the parents who are willing to take on leading the troop" and while I hated to lose the girl, I would really hate to lose those who are willing to help all the ones who could make it. They were some of the best leaders we had, the girls loved them. The point I am making is if you want it different, you need to step up and take over... sorry.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Well, you're paying for your child to learn a sport, correct? If the people that are hired to teach your child are goofing off on the job, then they should absolutely be reported. They sound like lazy young kids who don't really want to be there. If worse comes to worse I'm sure you can find somewhere else for your kid to play soccer.

FYI to some of you that think all coaches are volunteers - they are not. The city run programs pay their coaches, as do competitive leagues. Telling her to "coach if she doesn't like what's going on" is dramatic. Not everyone knows how to coach, and not to mention, the parents PAID for this. My guess is that the youngins "coaching" the team are part of the entitlement generation & just don't want to have to actually work.

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Why don't you volunteer to coach next year with the girl (she seems at least a little vested)? Then you'll ensure that the kids are getting a better experience.

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

I'd be frustrated watching a practice like this as well! I've coached before and at 1st grade they are capable of learning skills and drills above just running around the field. To me, it sounds like these young adults (at 22) are lazy and are wasting practice time by doing ridiculous things like moving practice in and out for a drop of rain. Having attended many town rec programs, I know they're not outstanding but they shouldn't be wasting you and the kids time.

I'd go in and speak directly to the parks director. So what if people find out it was you who complained, you're complaining in the best interest of the kids. If that doesn't get you anywhere, maybe you and/or another parent can start stepping in and help to run practices...coaches are hard to come by unfortunately.

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M.F.

answers from Columbia on

I think you have every right to be upset. I think you should go in or call or even email Parks and Rec and explain what is going on. My niece has played since 4 or 5 and has played in all weather as well. They don't even do indoor practice. The kid coach shooting hoops is way outta line by showing how uninterested he is and the girl is being a very unhealthy role model. I think they are both unexceptable. Here in CoMO our Rec teams do cost to join not to mention cost of cleats, time, etc. While some people may assume that you have to pay 5000 to allow your child to be part of a team, most people don't. I think if you bring this issue to light it will be better for everyone. Who knows the other parents may be thinking the same thing. I know tons of ways to handle these things so let me know if you need some starters. Your clearly a good mom keep going with your instinct

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D.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'd let the rec dept. know. They are paying these kids to do a specific job, unless it's volunteer for community service hours or something, and would not want them wasting their money (or yours). You could ask to remain anonymous. Even though the kids are young, they are supposed to be learning basic skills at least, I assume. The coaches' job is to teach them and make it fun. It sounds like they are doing neither. I'm a little put off by those saying don't expect much from these volunteers and stop complaining, because there are young rec coaches doing great things with kids all over the place. My daughters ball camp with 4-6 year olds was great, because the counselors enjoyed the kids and what they were doing.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

We had the same issue at a local soccer league. The coaches are volunteer and not expected to actually know anything. It is sad when it costs me so much money to register the kids.

Each year we have had a different coach(es). One year it was 2 sisters and they argued the whole time. Another year it was a guy and my daughter told me he was abusive to his older daughter and not to let him coach my granddaughter. He never raised his voice, paid attention to the kids and actually was a very good coach but the rumors she passed around made it impossible for him to continue. I don't know if he was or not, he was pretty calm and focused on the kids at practice, besides, we were always there.

Also each Fall my grand daughter would be on one team and then is Spring a different group due to her birthday being in the Fall after the season was started. They go by age so in the September sign ups she'd be on level (age group) and then Spring she'd be in the next one up, on a different team....

I decided to stop the madness. We did soccer through the Y this last time, it's more like a soccer clinic with no scores being kept and sportsmanship being the main theme. I really enjoyed it but she is too old now. I don't know what we'll do, maybe just Spring season or something.

Our BMX track is closed for a while, the track operator quit due to work changes so we are down 1 activity. She really misses soccer so I may try again. If she gets a good coach and can stay on one team then maybe we'll start up again. I don't know.

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H.M.

answers from Omaha on

You are doing something with the state correct? Pry free or a small fee. These "kids" as you are calling them don't seem vested. I'd guess they are volunteers in the first place. Boy is pry doing his volunteer hours required for civics. Can't say I'm surprised in the least that the young adults that are volunteering aren't taking it very seriously. I'd expect none the less.

If you expect more go join an actual team or hey even a YMCA team. We are talking about 5 and 6 year olds. I hated doing birthday parties and I was older than they are. I can't imagine how pointless it would seem to try and teach little ones soccer or whatever sport it is .... and for free none the less.

So if it was me if I expected my children to learn the game I'd get them on a real team and not a parks and rec team.

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