Hi moms- my husband is really crabby these days because he says he is "robbed of his sleep" because of our 9 month old. We also have a 2 year old who has always been a great sleeper, so he has been spoiled. Little Hannah however, has been an early riser since she was 4 months old. She goes through cycles where she will sleep better, but then she always goes back to getting up either in the 4am hour or the 5am hour. My hubby thinks it is hunger waking her up. She has 3 solid meals a day, and has 3 or 4 bottles a day. She takes 2 naps a day (avg 3-4 hours total) and goes to bed at 7pm. Hubby wants to try keeping her up later but I feel strongly against this- plus she is already sooooo tired at 7pm. Below are some things I have already tried.
1. Room darkening shade and noise machine since birth
2. I have tried feeding her a bottle before she wakes up to try and reset her schedule (this only worked once)
3. I have tried the cry it out in intervals sleep training many times, but going into her room does not work for her- it makes the situation worse and last longer. This method always worked for my first born if she got off on her schedule.
4. We have tried to "ignore" her loud screaming/talking/yelling until 5:45 or 6:00am when I will go in and get her up for the day. But we have to lay in bed listening to this for over and hour.
5. I have gotten so frustrated that I have given her a bottle at 4:30am to eat herself in her crib (of course this worked and she just went back to sleep until 6:30am) I don't really want encourage that habit though.
6. Today I went and put toys in her crib, but she didn't seem to care about those either.
So...Does anyone have some advice or unique suggestions of things we can try to help her sleep longer?
With my first child someone suggested the book "Healthly Sleep Habits Happy Child". I found in this book the suggestion was odd but to put the child down earlier maybe 6PM or 6:30PM. I found with both my children that after they were about 9 months they could go down at 6:30PM and would not wake up until 6 AM. I hope this helps.
J., what would happen if you went in and rocked/held her and gave her a bottle when she wakes up that early? Would she go back to sleep or play? If giving her the bottle in her crib put her back to sleep until 6:30 then maybe it is because she's hungry. However, if she's going to bed at 7pm and not waking up any other time, then really, she is getting 9 hours of sleep, which is a decent amount. When babies sleep through the night it's not usually that long! I would suggest giving her a bottle at 4 or whenever she wakes up and then putting her back in her crib. If this doesn't work, then you might have to readjust her schedule....and if that doesn't work, then you're husband is going to have learn how to enjoy the blessing that your children are and get over his crabbiness! You might try getting some suggestions from your pediatrician--with your husband present so he can't say that you didn't ask the right question, etc. Good Luck!
If she is tired by 7:00,then you are right to put her to sleep at that time. With my own experiences, if I try to put the kids to bed later just to get them to sleep longer, they won't. They will either wake up earlier, and be crabby, or wake up at the same time, and be crabby. My son (11 months) goes to bed at 6:00 pm and wakes up at 7:30 am. She may just not need anymore sleep considering how long her naps are. If she goes to bed after giving her a bottle, maybe try giving her water, or try a pacifier if she doesn't take one already.
Babies aren't supposed to need to eat in the middle of the night, but I still nursed my son when he would wake up, until recently, because that is what worked for us. He has started sleeping through the night now.
I would either try feeding her, either with water (just so she is not damaging her teeth, or future teeth) or milk, whatever you decide, or maybe suggest that your husband go to bed earlier if possible. I know sometimes that isn't possible though. Good luck with this, I hope you find a solution, (and more sleep!)
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Loved your question because I am in the same boat! My fourth baby is doing the same thing...he's 6 months old. He goes down around 7 and wakes up every morning between 3-4 a.m. I've done the exact same things as you have, as I have successfully done with my other 3 kids, and this little dude is not cooperating. I think I am finally ok with just going in there and nursing him back to sleep, habit or not, it works for us. And I know very well with 3 older kids that these days are precious and will be gone before we know it and we will (honestly) miss the sweet moments at 3 a.m. when it is just you and your sweet baby. My advice on your sleep-deprived husband...I think you should have him read all your responses you get so that he knows how common this is!
I would have to agree with your husband that the 7pm bedtime might be a little too early. If she is waking at that time every morning, it means that she either has had enough sleep(especially with the two naps) or that she is hungry.
If you don't want to budge on the bedtime, then I would suggest feeding her and seeing if she will go back to sleep. I don't blame your husband for being crabby, I would be too. Oh wait, I am crabby, as I had a three year old in my bed at 4:00am!
Hi, J.! Glad to have you here in AZ!
My name is A. Lynn Glor. I'm a freelance writer from Tucson.
BOY, can I relate to what you're going through!!! Our 13-month-old daughter is the same way. I've tried all the same things you've tried to no avail, too. I wish I could offer some helpful advice.
I'm actually writing, though, to ask if you'd be willing to be quoted in an article I'm writing about children with sleep "issues" (and how their parents cope).
Would you agree to answer a few questions via e-mail and allow me to publish your answers as part of my piece?
So far, I'm just in the research phase of the writing process, but maybe by time I finish, we'll both have some new tips to get our little darlings to SLEEP :)
Please e-mail me at ____@____.com if you'd be willing to participate.
Thanks!
-- A.
this email is from another mama but i think it is great
Well, I am more of an "information geek" than a "try it out" mom. I think the evidence and studies speak for themselves.
Before I list a very few of them, I want to say that every family must do what works for them and there is no perfect way to raise a child.
I also want to urge every mother to do her own research. Be a critical reader! When reading, be aware of who wrote the information you are reading, what their credentials and motives are, and how the author is viewed by his/her peers. There is great information out there, but there are a lot of really bad books, too. Many written by people with little or no training, education, or experience. Anyone can write a book...
I also believe that a mother who mothers by her gut will usually do what is best. Any information that causes a mother to go against her natural mothering instinct is the wrong information for her. Any regrets that I have come from times when I didn't follow my gut.
Here is some of the research that I find helpful:
The studies on cortisol levels in babies while they are crying alone vs. crying in arms are astounding. The levels of cortisol measured in babies crying alone are high enough to cause damage to brain tissue and permanently alter a child's mental function. Clearly, babies are not meant to be left alone to cry.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
http://home.mweb.co.za/to/torngren/bergman-int.html
The research in the fields of sociology, psychology, and anthropology show us that families around the world as far back as history dates have shared a family bed, breastfed on demand for and average of 4 years (still the current world average), and carried babies or strapped them on during their babyhood.
This body of research also tells us that a child who has his needs met by a single care giver (most optimally the mother) is a more independent, confident child than those who spend time fearing that their needs won't be met or those who are forced to be independent before they are ready.
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lauren_lindsey_porter.html
Be sure and check out the sitations on this and any article your read.
Further, this attachment extends to the later parenting, making it easier to parent the child...
Nils Bergman on You Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcaMsZrElnE (he has several videos you can watch!)
His book, Hold On To Your Kids is a MUST READ!!!
The Discipline Book by Dr. William Sears
Here is some really compelling research:
Biology gives us a whole body of research on human milk composition which shows us that out of all mammal species, human milk has the lowest amount of fat and protein when compared to other mammal species, here is what that says:
Cache care - These animals must hid their babies and only feed them every 12 hours. They have the highest amount of fat and protien in thier milk. Rabbits, mice
Nest care - These animals have less fat and protien and feed their babies every 4 hours or so. dog, cat
Follow care - These animals have even less fat and protien than cache and nest animals. They feed every 2 hours or so. Zebra, cow, elk.
Carry care - These animals have the lowest amount of fat and protien and feed their infants every 30 to 90 minutes. Primates.
Humans have the lowest amount of fat and protien! What does this say about how our babies should be cared for? How often they should be fed, and what we should expect from them at night?
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct01p178.html
http://www.aph.gov.au/house/committee/haa/breastfeeding/s...
BTW, new research is now linking colic to babies not being fed often enough and being left alone too often.
http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/whatis03.htm
http://home.mweb.co.za/to/torngren/eng-berg.html
Dr. Sears recommends feeding your baby twice as often and half as much when colic seems to be the trouble. He also recommends holding your baby http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051300.asp
It is interesting to see the societal influences we have here compared to the rest of the world. We want our babies to be convenient, yet their very make up makes that impossible.
Again, mothers must do what their gut tells them and use information to supplement that wisdom. Don't choose sides, choose your child!
Happy Mothering!! Enjoy your babies
I've read many of the sleep books out there and although it's counter-intuitive, a couple say to put the baby to bed earlier in order to get them to sleep a bit later. Sounds crazy, especially if they are napping well during the day, but it actually worked with my first who was going to bed around 7, but getting up at 5-5:30. We started putting her to bed at 6/6:30 and after a few days she started to get up for the day around 6/6:30.
I'd try this for a few days to a week. If the am waking is still occuring, I'd give the am feeding figuring the baby's hungry. I know everyone has different expectations and can live with different situations regarding waking and feeding during the night, but personally, I've been okay (3 kids) with feeding once per night til they are close to a year, then I cut it out. Good luck with whatever you try :)
It sounds like if the bottle satisfies, she's waking up hungry.
Or the sucking comforts her to sleep.
I am an advocate of attachment parenting, but if you have this much success with your daughter away in another room...and you only need another hour or two...what is so bad about a little more food or comfort? How is hunger a habit? An empty stomach is just that. How is a baby needing physical contact or comfort a bad habit? It really is the way babies are. We can't "train" them out of needing us. We can train them to give up looking or crying for us...but we can not change their basic nature.
Would a pacifier work instead of a bottle...if you think she's getting too much food? I just hate to think of another sad baby waiting and waiting for help. Just give some kind of comfort...it sounds like everyone will be happier.
I like the cute name of your store!
Hi J.-
Crazy, crabby husband is probably right. She is hungry- and will need diaper changing, burping, cuddling, the works- it's one of those 'oh, well, she'll outgrow it someday' situations. By the way, you're really lucky it is only once nightly- you should have to deal with every hour and a half 24/7 for nine months to make you feel that you child is an absolute angel. Sooner or later, she'll get over it; you'll find yourself having to come up with more solutions - parenting is the game of playing catch-up just when you think you've got it down. Hope it helps- S.
