Court-ordered Visits with Father That Has Been Abusive to mother...nanny Cam?

Wow, I totally feel for you. There is absolutely NOTHING worse in the world than having to turn over the love of your life to someone you do not trust. I would suggest a new lawyer, a new custoday/visitation hearing. I was in the same situation and was awarded full custody. My ex had limited, scheduled and supervised visitation ONLY (at MY parents home). That did not last long and he hasn't seen my daughter since she was 2 (15 years ago). You need to fight what is safe and right for you and your son. Please feel free to email me I can offer any support.

I have an 8-month old son and I am in a similar situation. His dad was verbally abusive and possible substance abuser. So, I understand your plight. Unlike your situation, I know his father would not PURPOSELY harm him. Still, I have my fears about the unpurposeful harm.

If your son only cries when he goes to his dad's and not when he goes to visit other family members or friends, you may have a good reason to be suspicious. And by all means, protect your child. He cannot speak for himself and depends on you to protect him.

I'm afraid the nanny-cam may be some kind of violation of some law and may not be permissable in court if something is found to be going on. Why not ask the court to allow your son's father supervised visits? If you truly believe he is harming your child, do what you must and honor your gut.

I am still haunted by the Amy Castillo case. I cannot imagine!

This is a tough situation, and I am very sorry that you have to deal with it. I want to reassure you that what your son is doing - crying when leaving with someone else - is perfectly normal at this age and may well have nothing to do with how he is treated at his father's house. It may be a case of simple separation anxiety. He probably stops crying as soon as he's out of your sight.

AS for the nanny cam idea, even if you were to capture your son's father doing something abusive, you may not be able to use that in court. I am by no means an expert or anything, so I may be wrong. But you may want to research that before you invest in a camera.

Best of luck. My heart goes out to you and your son.
- J.

I'm sorry to hear about what is concerning you. I am very much so in agreement with the other moms responses and their reasons for why they think your baby cries when he's around his dad. My daughter who is now eight use to do the exact same thing when she was in the company of men...I couldn't make sense back then of why she would cry but eventually realizing it was because her dad was like a stranger and also she was homecared durning the day by my mother therefore limiting her social skills. It might help if you put your son in daycare or join a baby gym club where he can have lots of exposure on a day to day basis. My family and I wish you the best in whatever decisions you make. God Bless

Hello...
Your son may feel your anxiety towards his dad and go off of that. But, you are right...you don't know why he is crying, and since your ex is abusive and all...I would use a camera of some sort...know what's going on. It will set your mind at ease. Now, if there is something going on there, you may not be able to use it in court or anything...but i would check it out anyhow.
Good luck!