26 answers

Correcting Spelling and Grammar

So another response to a question got me thinking. . . when my husband texts me he is constantly using the wrong "to" "too", "there" "their" and "they're" and it drives me nuts! Do you have husbands that can't spell / use the correct spelling of a word? Do you correct them? Man, I get in trouble when I send a message back saying, "I think you mean it's 'too' late" . . . ha ha! Am I terrible?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Rosebud: No, he just can't spell to save his life. In any situation! :)

Featured Answers

No. But my husband doesn't text me. He calls. My SON texts me. And I can't read his text messages without a secret decoder ring.

Anyone have a secret decoder ring for teen's texting?

Cheers!
D.

10 moms found this helpful

haha! I just posted that as my most hated! Yes he does it and yes I correct him and he gets SO mad sometimes..I tell him that's "to" bad, deal with it or spell it right! ;)

5 moms found this helpful

My husband does that all the time. I don't say anything. :) I think he's super smart and is especially in other ways. Every once in a while, if it trickles onto something more important or if he needs to write something to someone else, then I'll casually remind him. Other than that, I don't say anything. :)

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Good rule of thumb – don't correct unless you're asked. I'm a former paper-reader for an English department, and have found out that over-correction, or unwelcome correction, actually strains the writer's ability to communicate spontaneously and accurately (and can strain our relationship with the writer). Spelling and grammar are not usually as important as content. This is true for kids just learning to write, and adults who either never learned or are unable to learn.

There are exceptions, of course. By high school, research papers are required to have as-near-perfect spelling, grammar and punctuation as the student is able to produce. Business communication, and job resumes, should ideally be perfect, because they assure the recipient that the writer is educated, competent and reliable.

But some people just can't spell, including my husband, who writes science and math books for a living. I'm his primary spell-checker and editor (that's one of the reasons we got together in the first place ;-). Just like some people (and I'm one) can't remember names, or dates. We all have our individual strengths and weaknesses.

13 moms found this helpful

No. But my husband doesn't text me. He calls. My SON texts me. And I can't read his text messages without a secret decoder ring.

Anyone have a secret decoder ring for teen's texting?

Cheers!
D.

10 moms found this helpful

Yes, you are terrible. Nitpicky, I guess they'd call it nagging.

You're lucky, though, mine uses auto correct and sends me texts that say something like...

Your excellent peach feet thirty-nine!

What on EARTH?!

Least you have a good idea what he's tryin' to say.

I should mention, I am the only one in the family without an iphone. In fact, I don't even have a full keyboard, just numbers. So yeah, when I text, you better believe I'm not being especially careful, takes 4ever!

:)

9 moms found this helpful

Oh God NO!! My husband is truly anal about spelling....

And no, my husband doesn't text...if he texted me? I would probably faint!! :)

6 moms found this helpful

My husband is a grammar nazi. I'm scared to even text him :)

5 moms found this helpful

haha! I just posted that as my most hated! Yes he does it and yes I correct him and he gets SO mad sometimes..I tell him that's "to" bad, deal with it or spell it right! ;)

5 moms found this helpful

Does he only do this when texting?

I don't correct the spelling of my texts, because I have a crappy phone and I'm a slow texter and can't be bothered to fix misspelled words. And the phone doesn't know some words. I don't think my phone knows "they're," for example. And no way am I going to spend 4 minutes trying to type that.

So as long as he spells correctly in other situations, don't bug him.

5 moms found this helpful

If you've corrected him once, I would just let em be. Lots of brilliant people can't spell. I'm sure everyone can think of something they can never seem to do right. Would you want to be constantly told how you are doing it wrong?
Example, my husband constantly would correct my pronunciation of certain words. He says it's embarrassing when I talk incorrectly that's why he tries to "help" me. Well, I find the corrections appreciated the first time and then just belittling. Just an opinion.

5 moms found this helpful

My husband does that all the time. I don't say anything. :) I think he's super smart and is especially in other ways. Every once in a while, if it trickles onto something more important or if he needs to write something to someone else, then I'll casually remind him. Other than that, I don't say anything. :)

4 moms found this helpful

My husband types "of coarse" on FB all the time and it drives me batty. I have mentioned it to him but he hasn't corrected it...YET!!! But I do try to pick my battles since when we first met he had the bad habit of using "ain't". I.could.not.stand.it...so he did stop saying that thank God. But I had to say "what? Ain't?" every single time he said it. So since that really was the one and only thing that really bugged me about him and he did change it I don't let the other little things get to me. =)

4 moms found this helpful

I don't have text on my phone but hate messaging/internet abbreviations. Yes, I can't stand when people do not spell correctly, but no, I no longer correct my husband. He, too, cannot spell to save his life, but he can write. I learned that he's simply an awesome writer and just needs some loving and non-judgmental editing.

I learned the hard way growing up and correcting my family's grammar around the dinner table (always got in trouble for it!) and eventually found that you stand out less and people do not get as mad at you if you throw in a few incorrect words and phrases to sound more casual. (For example, saying something like "If a child hits their friend" instead of correctly saying "if a child hits his or her friend..." etc.) No, I don't like it, and still hate it when people say "there's" instead of "there are" (it isn't even the right contraction!!!!), but I try to cringe silently whenever possible. :)

3 moms found this helpful

I would say yes my husband isnt a great speller & the grammer police would have him jailed for a long time...butt I would be right there with him! I'm an awful speller and I know I dont always use correct grammer but thats just me.

3 moms found this helpful

Troy texts correctly unless he is in a hurry. Since it is so rare I usually text back "gd engish".

3 moms found this helpful

I cannot stand that! I hate text-ing in general for this very reason. I don't even like the "u" for "you" etc. I am going to tell you now, LET IT GO! Sometimes you just have to think "what is my purpose for doing this?"
"Will this better the situation for just me?" "Will it make the situation better?" I am sure the only person who benefits here is you, your husband doesn't care.

In short, your husband, I am sure, has had plenty of time in life to learn proper grammar and it didn't happen. You bringing it up to him is just going to tick him off.

Let it go. I know it's hard.

3 moms found this helpful

I tend to be a stickler for proper grammar but relax my approach a bit when it comes to texting. I don't correct my husband (or others) then but do get a little more particular when it comes to email or general conversation.

I'm so pleased that my 19 yo daughter is even more particular about grammar than I! When it seems language conventions are becoming more and more relaxed, it's refreshing to me that some young people are ready and able to carry the torch forward. Perhaps there is hope after all!

3 moms found this helpful

i would never. my husband is dyslexic. i'm lucky he texts at all. also my boss (a VP of the company) CONSTANTLY uses the wrong "to". everything is "to". drives me nuts. i don't correct either of them. one because he is sensitive about it and i love him too much, one because i respect the heck out of her and no way would i disrespect her like that. unless it is my child (or maybe, a younger sibling who i know knows better), i won't say a word. especially since i know i'm not perfect, either.

3 moms found this helpful

I do that as well....and when people are talking. Mostly just family and very close friends the KNOW how uptight I am about proper grammar and pronounciation.

The funny thing is that I'm a terrible speller! I'm constantly asking my husband how to spell things. haha

2 moms found this helpful

@ PEG. I can't remember names either.

I find spelling a problem when I try and type fast. I'm always going back to make sure I didn't add the wrong letter in my words or sentence.

That's a problem I have with mam-pedia. Why don't they have spell check, or bold or italics, or underscore? It wouldn't take much to upgrade this posting area or web site. The typing areas are so primitive.

I don't mind the texting on a phone. The keys are so small. But not using the correct there or their or they're or the correct 2 or to, or too, or two is kind of aggrivating.

But that is part of the dumbing down of American schools and not teaching phonics any more. The powers that be would rather make every one dumber than making everyone smarter. They figured it was easier and didn't care and they are right. It was easier, but worse for america.

Good luck to you and yours,

2 moms found this helpful

My hubby gets those wrong and is a horrible speller in general. He will ask me if t-a-m-a-r-o-w is tomorrow, but then somehow can spell intricate words like sesquipedalian perfectly.

2 moms found this helpful

If someone, my daughter, my hubby, friends text me in text speak I reply with a Huh?? Or a What are you trying to tell me? Or I do not answer it. Then when they call me on it I just say, "Yeah I got it and didn't understand what the hell you were trying to tell me."
Texting annoys me, can you tell?

2 moms found this helpful

I am not the best speller:( But I decided a long time ago that I want to improve all the time. So I welcome corrections, just for the fact that the next time I spell it, I will get it right. My strength however, is I love grammar. I try not to correct people unless I hear them correct others, then I feel it is fair game:)
I would just ask him if he wants help with it, if he does then great! If he doesn't then it probably is not your place to correct him. It most likely makes him feel like you are parenting him and he needs to defend himself. To spare his self-confidence as your lover, if I were you, I would refrain from doing it.
I asked my husband to help me with spelling and he does it all the time. But I only help him with grammar when he asks.
Good luck,
E.

2 moms found this helpful

My husband has this issue as well, and there is no excuse (he has an iphone).

BTW- i never correct punctuation. I don't know why. Especially not on texts

2 moms found this helpful

I'm also married to the son of an English teacher, so fortunately he's a good speller. I'd be tempted to correct him if he was not though, because the to, too, two and their, there and they're thing bugs the heck out of me to - I mean too. :)

2 moms found this helpful

No, my husband is the son of an English/literature teacher. He is my go to when I am not sure about grammar/spelling.

1 mom found this helpful

There are a ton of people I know who txt and even email and use the wrong grammatical word, but I do not correct them. The only ones I correct are my children so that they can learn how to use the words correctly. I had a spelling error on a paper and got called on it in front of a bunch of people and that was the most embarrassing thing ever for me. I would bite my tongue and just correct your kids if I were you.

1 mom found this helpful

You are helping him- would he rather look a little foolish to you, or look illiterate to the whole world? The way a person uses grammar and spelling says a lot about them. If you can't communicate in the written word it limits you.

1 mom found this helpful

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