67 answers

Convincing Myself Circumcision Is Ok

My husband and I are expecting our first little boy soon and I decided to leave the circumcision decision up to him. He told me last night that he has talked to his friends with sons and has decided that if we don't circumcise ours, he will be one of the few different kids in the locker room some day. Now I just can't bear the thought that I've carried and protected this little guy for so long now and soon after he joins the world I am supposed to let something so traumatic happen to him.

I don't want to spark any debates; I just want to know how some other moms have dealt with the thought of having a painful, "cosmetic" (we have no religious reason to circumcise), procedure done to their newborns.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Just like any other hot topic, the people on either side find and embrace the information that supports THEIR decision. I did not have my son circumcised, a decision that came about after accidently walking in on a circumcision being done in the hospital after my oldest daughter was born. Say all you want about a boy/man not remembering that pain - I will never ever forget the sight of that baby strapped down spread eagle and the sounds of his screams. So, my son is now 20, and it's never been an issue for him at school nor has he had a problem with hygiene. If it bothered him, he could chose to have it done as an adult, and done with proper anesthesia, wouldn't be a big deal.

1 mom found this helpful

KT
My son was born 7 months ago and we did have him circumcised. I actually did not give it any thought and had no idea it was such a hot topic. My husband was circumcised and all the boys/men I know are also circumcised and it just seemed like the "normal" thing to do.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Well, if you don't feel good about the decision then maybe you should reexamine it. Circ is permanent. It can always be done later but it can never be undone.

I am an L & D nurse and after watching many circ procedures I can tell you there is no way I had my son circumcised. The reason babies sleep so well afterwards is becuase they are scream the whole time during the circ. Not saying that to make you feel guilty or bad about your decision, I am just pointing that out as a fact. However traumatic someone believes it is or isn't, the fact is that a baby spends the time naked, strapped to a board, having the skin pulled off the end of their penis. Even if they are given pain meds (which not all are) it is a still an injection of lidocaine in the base of the penis, which if you have ever had, it burns a lot. All of this in the first couple of days of life.

The Research that has been cited on HIV Transmission Reduction is from a flawed study- in fact the study was halted before completion due to its unscientific design. Circ rate in the US is currently about 50-50, and has been going down steaadily over the past few years. The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend circ on the basis that there are no tangible health benefits.

I'm sorry to post all of this negative information- I really don't want to make you feel worse about this but I do think that people are entitled to all of the information. Perhaps have your husband watch a video of a circumcision and print off circumcision stats to show him. As for the argument that the son should look like his father- when was the last time your husband saw his dad's penis?

Anyway, I hope this post isn't too much of a downer and I do with you luck with your upcoming birth and making yourself comfortable with whatever you decide. Please send me a message if you want any additional circumcision resources.

3 moms found this helpful

Hi K T,

I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you what I did. I have 2 boys. My oldest will be 4 next month and my youngest turned 1 at the end of July. My husband is circumsized. We did not circumsize the boys. I told my husband that my feeling is if it ain't broke, don't fix it. We don't remove any other parts of our body if there isn't anything wrong with them, unless we're doing it to donate to someone or something. So I told my husband that's how I felt but if he wanted them done then to go ahead but he had to be the one to take them. He couldn't do it either so that's how we came to our decision. I know alot of people today who didn't have their son done either. So I think by the time he's all grown up he won't be alone!!!

So I guess that's my opinion and my experience. Good luck with whatever you decide and it's only the first of many!!!

Take care,

N.

2 moms found this helpful

There is always going to be a LOT of debate on this subject so my best advice to you is to do what YOU & YOUR HUSBAND feel comfortable with. We chose to have it done and it was done when our son was still in NICU (he was a preemie). I hated teh idea of that he was going to hurt but the procedure took less time that it did for me to pump (breastmilk). Afterwards when I came back, my son was fine - he wasn't even crying and we just cuddled the rest of the day. He's 15 months old now and if there were any lingering effects, I have yet to see them.

1 mom found this helpful

We had our twin sons circumcised for two reasons. One was so they could fit in in our culture; most boys in the US are still circumcised and, whether it's fair or not, the uncircumcised boys are often the brunt of teasing (sometimes cruel taunts). I have a male friend who wasn't circumcised who was teased a lot in the locker room; partly as a result of his experience, he had his two sons circumcised. The other reason (and the main deciding factor for us) is that scientists have discovered that circumcised men are much less likely to get STDs and infections. Of course, this doesn't mean that circumcised men can't get STDs, but being circumcised does offer extra protection (and as much as we don't like to think about it, our sons will be sexually active someday). In the end, it's up to your husband and you; do your research, but whatever you decide, don't let anyone badger you about it. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Just like any other hot topic, the people on either side find and embrace the information that supports THEIR decision. I did not have my son circumcised, a decision that came about after accidently walking in on a circumcision being done in the hospital after my oldest daughter was born. Say all you want about a boy/man not remembering that pain - I will never ever forget the sight of that baby strapped down spread eagle and the sounds of his screams. So, my son is now 20, and it's never been an issue for him at school nor has he had a problem with hygiene. If it bothered him, he could chose to have it done as an adult, and done with proper anesthesia, wouldn't be a big deal.

1 mom found this helpful

The research states that getting a circumcision does lower risk of UTI. I have done a few when I worked out in san diego and not a single baby cried for more than a second...usually we either used sugar water or a finger (glove on) for the baby to suck on. Once the procedure was done, the baby was swaddled and returned to mommy and usually asleep by the time he got there.. I am indian and not a single male I know has had one w/o issue...good luck making the decision, there are pamplets adn hand outs that go over pros and cons at many of the prenatal classes as well as doctor's offices...hope that helps!

1 mom found this helpful

We made the tough decision to circumcise our son 6 years ago and although it was a tough decision, I don't regret it a bit. Instead I feel more comfortable that he will not feel different in the locker room or more importantly as an adult in an intimate relationship. Our physician recommended that we leave and walk around the area where the office is located because he knew it could be upsetting. He also has sons and chose to circumcise them as well, and said that he and his wife chose to not be present. Immediately after we returned, a nurse called us back inside, and I nursed my son for comfort and we went home. We followed the doctor's care instructions and never saw any residual trauma in our son who to this day doesn't remember it. I know that many hospitals do the procedure, if selected, before the baby goes home from the hospital. Our hospital didn't offer that option, so we had to go to the doctor's office a couple of days later for the procedure. Just know that whatever choice you make will be the perfect choice for your family. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Not to make light of this, but other kids will find something to make fun of your son about... kids are just cruel to each other!! No one is safe, and you shouldn't make a decision based on "what other people think." Trust your gut, and know that he will be just fine either way. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

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