Controlled Portions for 5 Year Old

I had the same problem, and my parents also worried- to the point that it made me "sneak" the foods that I wanted. Tell your friend whatever she does do not let the boy have different foods than the girl. Looking back if my parents would have made everyones meals, snacks etc. different I don't think I would have made the bad choices I did. I got to the point that I would eat what they wanted me to, then eat what I wanted in the first place after they weren't looking- thus eating 2x as much as I would have in the first place. Make famiy walks together a fun thing, let the kids make their own healthy snacks (their are a lot of web sights with fun healthy ideas that "trick" the kids to enjoy the healthy snacks with out them being a punishment). There is probably no "correct" answer- but I believe this would have helped me more than the alternative.

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I highly recommend the mother to read Geneen Roth's book Breaking free From Emotional Eating. Roth directly addresses the not being able to tell when you are full issue, plus a ton more or the possible issues that this gal might be dealing with. I have personally dealt with both ends of the eating spectrum (anorexia and emotional overeating). Geneen Roth's book is amazing in that what she says applies to both disorders; she gets to the root of the problems, not just slapping a quick fix on things. I have a much healthier sense of food, eating, and self-worth since I first read this book as a teenager. As I reach the end of my 20's, the content of the book is still relevant. I have recommended this book to people with teens and pre-teens, never before for someone who is so young as 5 yr old, but I think if the mom reads it and can teach some of it to her daughter, it would be money well-spent. I know for sure it is available on Amazon.com new or used. Read the reviews to get a sense of how powerful this book can be. It is NOT a diet book! It's more of a journey to understanding, befriending, and healing yourself when it comes to food. If the mom of that 5 yr old can learn even one useful thing from the book, I think it would be worth it.
best of luck.

forget about portion controls....exercise is the only way to go. Sign her up for some soccer, take families on walks after dinner, get her excited about sport.
My family did that to me when I was little, constantly criticizing my eating habits and weight, but never taking the time to actually DO anything with me. I have always been the heavier one, but I actually loved sports! I loved to run, swim, walk, it was just that my family never had those as priorities. (by the way, as an adult I now compete in marathons, and I am still a little chubby!)
I know that even heavier girls get their self-confidence with sport- and eventually those eating habits don't even mattter, they sort themselves out...
I totally believe that Girls get self-confidence in their bodies through sport, seeing and being with other girls going through the same stuff is huge!
Without it they are sure to make her feel bad about eating, and eventually she will hate her body as well.
Americans should stop focusing on food, and focus on having fun and games and being able to use your body healthfully.

I would suggest to not focus on the food, but focus on the activity level. Get everyone up and moving on a regular basis.
And if the kids are 5- doesn't the parent control the portions they get? I try to cook only enough for the two of us to have only one portion(no 2nds)- grilling makes this easy- 1 burger or chicken breast- and STAY AWAY from the drive through, I am a single mom and know only how easy that can be.

Hi H.,
If she really is eating mostly healthy foods and still gaining weight then she may have a medical condition. Your friend needs to take her daughter to her pediatrician. The pediatricain will probably have an idea as to what may be going on and will precede accordingly.

I think I would try a whole family approach. Bringing more fruit and veggies, low fat yogurt, whole grain crackers, etc into the house instead of chips, cookies, pop...Also look at the size of the meals everyone is eating.

I think a treat every once in a while would be ok. I don't think denying every sweet or treat is the best approach for anyone. There are alot of desserts that can be converted for Weight Watchers and they turn out pretty good.

I would try to incorporate family walks to get everyone moving. If mom takes the approach of having a healthy lifestyle I don't think the daughter will feel she is being singled out. Mom (or Dad) is doing the shopping so it's up to them to bring in the healthy foods. And we could all use some exercise:) I wish your friend luck in helping her daughter. I'm sure she is already feeling a bit self-conscious since you said kids have already made comments.

Hello H., I am aware of a system invented by a MD that addresses this exact situation. I can teach you about it just let me know. K. Joy G. ###-###-####
ps it is not expensive

I would not worry too much about portion control but offering more fruits and veggies for fillers would help. I'd start by emphasizing the exercise and activity levels as a family. Everyone can be more active...and it can start simple and with fun family themes, like going for family bike rides, or playing kick-ball in the back yard, etc. Hopefully, her eating habits will taper off as she grows older and her excersize habits will last a lifetime.

One thing that my parents have tried with my sister is saying that noone can eat in the house after 7:30. This way they are not eating before bed, food will have time to digest and won't pack on wieght that way. My husband and I are now trying to get in shape and have said that at least five days a week we are going to take a walk. Make it a family event, everyone goes walking and that way not one person will be singled out. Our daughter doesn't understand yet but it's also a very good bonding experience, no t.v. to interfear with conversation.

My daughter is the same way. unfortunately her aunt and cousins constantly tell her how much bigger she is than most kids her age. This has had a very bad consequense. The most important thing is to make sure that she is told how beautiful she is no matter what she looks like. Secondly have her wait 10-20 mins before allowing her to have seconds or a snack. Another thing is she might be thirsty not hungry. I give my daughter a big glass of water 10 mins before she eats. then I fill her plate remember portions should be no bigger than her fist. and then if she wants more she will sit and talk to me for 20 mins before she can have seconds. At first I made her answer questions between each bite. This gives the stomach time to let the brain know that it is full. also it gives the taste buds more time to savor her food. Plus it is just nice mother daughter time. the focus is on her. My daughter is 11 now and is still a bigger girl but that is the way she was made. but she is a lot healthier and energetic. and she is no longer gorging her self. Good luck, just keep telling her she is beautiful

Has she thought of getting her daughter's thyroid checked? Do they drink or eat alot of soy products? It's worth a shot to have that checked out. A huge percentage of people have thyroid imbalances.
A naturopathic doctor could help much better than a MD in this case. Prescription thyroid drugs are woefully out of date (as said by my MD). I hope she can find a solution! Good for her for being so sensitive to her daughters feelings and self esteem!

Maybe your friend could work with dietician, one expereienced in working with kids. This would give mom and the child some sound advice that is backed up by an education and experience in this very touchy area. IS she in omaha? If so email me for a recomendation.

I forget the average weight for a 5 year old? I thinking about 50 pounds depending on height and body type. If she is unable to stop when full, then I would take her to the doctor as she might have problems with her thyroid or another health issue and over eating is just a sypmtom.

Have they had her looked at by a doctor to address this specific issue. Sounds like she may have a thyroid problem.

H.,

First, I would suggest the mom take the girl to a doctor. I had a friend who's daughter had a physical disability where her body didn't give off "full" signals, so the daughter never knew when to stop. It could also be thyroid or another metabolic issue.

If it is not medical, it is possible the girl never learned to listen to her body or forgot how. To learn/relearn this skill, she needs to eat slowly and chew all her food before picking up another bite. She should drink lots of water with her meal and frequently take breaks during the meal. To avoid singling the daughter out, it can simply be a family exercise in improving digestion (because eating slowly does that, too.) And have lots of fun and engaging conversation at the table. No "inhale and run" approach to meals. This is a time of family gathering and bonding and should take 30-60 minutes.

Mom can serve up the food in the kitchen on plates and bring it to the table. Having food on the table encourages overeating for those who have a problem with stopping when full. Cook less so there aren't any leftovers or put them away before dinner is eaten. If the girl asks for more, mom can say that the food is simply gone and she is welcome to have more water or raw vegetables if she isn't full.

The mom can also cut out snacks. They are a problem for so many reasons - very expensive, spoils appetite in children who get full quickly and put on extra pounds for kids who don't know when to quit. With the exception of possibly a piece of fruit or cup of yogurt if there is a 6+ hour stretch between lunch and dinner, children just don't need snacks. They say "I'm hungry" but 90% of the time it is code for "I'm bored" or "I want junk because it is there."

You said there is little junk food in the house, but what constitutes junk food? Does this girl get bread or cereal or snacks containing high-fructose corn syrup? Is there lots of sugar in her yogurt? Is she allowed to have salty pretzels, crackers or chips? Are most of her foods processed? Eating foods that came from nature or have less than 5 ingredients on the label (that you can identify and pronounce) isn't just good for those who are overweight. I recently read an article that thin people can have just as many health problems if they don't eat the right foods and exercise. They just don't show it on the outside.

What the mom should avoid is putting daughter on a "diet" or try to get her to lose a significant amount of weight. Children this age are growing rapidly, and it is much safer for her young body to just stop/radically slow her weight gain until her height catches up with it.

Good luck,
S.

I agree with everyone that it has to be a family effort. Since the brother is on target or maybe under I do wonder about a thyroid problem. If he is too far under he could have a thyroid problem as well. The most important thing to remember is that there is no "bad" food. My sister-in-law is a dietician and I myself have weight issues and have all my life. I try and watch what I put into my body and try and exercise. The more I watch what I eat and exercise the more I gain. I do not have a thyroid problem according to my doctor. I know this doesn't sound very encouraging. What I wanted to let you know is that because of my parents I have a very high self-esteem. Unfortuanately cannot tell you what they did to make that happen but it is possible. I guess it was probably because they never treated me differently then my two siblings, who were always the right size if not smaller. Another things is that the other people in her life should be encouraging as well as her parents. You said she is a good friend. Do you see them often? If so you can help make a difference, too. I remember having some really good adult females, along with my mom, letting me know that I was beautiful and great.

I wish your good friend the best of luck.

Sher

They can try family walks each evening. Mom and daughter walks or other forms of exersize together. Not eating family style meals can control the portions better without singling others out. She should make sure there isn't a medical problem also.

I am not sure how your daughter eats,but maybe having a schedule or menue on a board or paper and placed in sight with what you will be having and at what time...might help.Maybe asking your daughter to help you in preparing some of the things she will be eating.Some of this could be attention seeking and or it could be a health issue.Maybe having your daughter exercise with you,but change things around and make it a fun thing.I hope this has helped in some way or another.

heres an excellent addition to her diet: FIBER!

this "magic" nutrient is NOT digested. however, the job it DOES do is important. it holds water. (so drink lots of it). when it holds water, it fills up your stomach. then when passing through the intestines, it helps to keep stool soft! bonus if the child has hard stools (otherwise known as constipation! hard stools that are difficult to pass... NOT the lack of going, although painful stools lead to that)

anyway... point is, it will fill her stomach up. the easiest way is to keep eating those high fiber fruits and vegetables. however, you can also buy milled flax seed, and sprinkle that over cereal, yogurt, cottage cheese, even in a sandwish, and that will give a boost of instant fiber! this will hopefully help her feel full longer.

also - a big part of fiber is WHOLE GRAINS. not bleached, not unbleached, not enriched, WHOLE. buy breads or make breads that are made with whole grains not cheap worthless kinds. i remember back when we ate white bread, i swear to you, no matter how many pieces we ate, i never felt full. in fact, the white breads made me feel more ravenous than before i ate! so avoid white breads or noodles... try to buy or make your own whole grain stuff.

another thing i thought of is eating slowly, or eating by "course". have a light salad. then eat the main dishes. slowly. family dinners are best, then you will be busy talking to each other and the slower eating comes naturally!

good luck!