Continued Problems W/an Episiotomy

I am so sorry that this happened to you, it is really a tragedy that women are given episiotomys at all, they are almost always unessesary and they tend to be much worse wounds than a bit of natural tearing would have been. My advise would be to go back to your doctor and tell him or her about how tender it still is, that is not normal. Maybe you could see some kind of specialist for it. In the short term, use ice packs, sitz baths, hemmoroid cream (with yor Doctor's approval), and when you use the toilet don't wipe with toilet paper, it is abrasive, use a water bottle to squirt water on yourself to clean up, then gently pat dry with a bit of toilet paper. If the tenderness persits you should really seek medical help and don't give up unitl you find someone who can really help you restore function and sensation so you feel normal again. You can also try gently massaging the scar tissure after the incision has totally healed, that will reduce the ammount of scar tissue and restore elastcity, and it wil get you used to non-painful sensations in that area again. When you finally feel ready for sex again be careful and use plenty of lubricant, if you are breastfeeding you can have pretty bad dryness and you will need a good quality water based lubricant. Good luck, I hope you feel better soon!

And for anyone reading this who has not had a baby yet or an episiotomy, DONT LET THE DOCTOR DO IT! JUST SAY NO TO EPISIOTOMIES! They are not nessesary, I have had two babies without ever getting cut, with my first the doctor wanted to cut me and I told him not to, I was very adamant that I would rather tear naturally, I ended up with a very tiny 1 centimeter tear that did not even need a stitch, it would have been a much bigger cut if he had done the episiotomy. With my second I didn't tear at all. My midwife told me that women who have an episiotomy are much more likely to get an infection afterwards and the next time they have a baby they will tear right where the episiotomy scar is because scar tissue will never be as strong as intact skin. Itis importnat also to not lay flat on your back when giving birth, this is the worse position you can possible be in as far as the risk of tearing, if you have an epidural and can't move then that makes it harder, but you should still be able to deliver sidelying with support and that will reduce the chance of tears.

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Hey there,
Though I didn't have issues with needing to have a recheck with my first pregnancy I had one and was very tender for a long time. I still to this day won't use tampoons because it just doesn't feel right. Sex at first was weird and a tad uncomfortable but it finally was fine. Just try when you feel ready and don't worry too much about pain, kind of kills the romance hee hee...
Each pregnancy is different, with my first I got preeclampsia, had to be induced and had an episiotomy, with my second child I had a breeze of a pregnancy, then had to be induced due to his size and then had to have a csection due to his size. To be honest I preferred the recovery of the csection over the sting and discomfort from the first! Believe it or not I healed from the csection quicker then I did the episiotomy.
I don't think you can sew it too much, I just think that is such a sensitive part of your body and surgery and all that damage to the tissue can just take time to heal and feel right again, BUT TO ANSWER YOU, yes it will get better, promise...! :)

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Hi D.,

I had episiotomy and 4th and 3rd degree tears inside with each child (1st child was large had a huge head; 2nd was born hands first). Anyway after the 1st one (it took about 10 months to really recover to the point of sex approaching comfortable)....

Therefore with the 2nd I just told my husband that emotionally and physically I could not handle intercourse until the baby was at least 6 months.....So we did everything but (which was actually a very awesome and educating experience for each of us)...until my baby was almost 7 months old.

The plan worked. Granted some positions were a no go for several months after the 7 month time limit....But I believe that is just due to scar tissue needing to be broken down. I also started taking a birth control pill to help me with my libido (and cysts) which has helped greatly even though I do not truly care for taking birth control. give yourself time. I also believe my yoga classes helped as well.

Good luck! I understand how you feel! I only had a second child do to the grace of God (she was not planned), and everything was just fine. Had it not been for my second being born hands first I would not have been torn up again. Oh, the period thing--I used pads for quite a while, tampons are strange for a while after such trauma....That is normal. Your body will approach normal again.
R.

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I had an episiotomy with my first child and it is what took the longest to heal. I was sore from it for many months afterward. It does eventually feel better but unfortunately it is something that takes time.
FYI-I didn't get one with my second child (also born in May) and the healing process was much quicker. I don't know if you have a choice in whether you receive one or not but if you do then I would suggest discussing with your DR if you can avoid it the second time. I did rip some without the episiotomy but it was no where near as sensitive and I was able to start having sex without any discomfort very soon after the birth of my son.

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I'm sorry you are experiencing this. The person who said you are better in 6 weeks didn't have an episiotomy. I am no expert --- but when my first son was born in 2003 --- HE gave me an episiotomy from end to end. The doctor did the stitches. I don't remember how long I suffered. But I remember being worried about healing right. I scar easily. Sex hurt. I looked in the mirror and things just didn't look right. My doctor said I wouldn't look the same again --- but I would heal fine. And I am better. I think it is good that you are consulting with a doctor. Keep doing that until you feel better. You also need to communicate with your husband. He needs to be gentle. Use KY jelly. Have a glass of wine. The skin gets tight with an injury. It will take some time for it to get elastic again. Don't use tampons while you are still tender. Use pads. I can't say my sex drive has improved --- but that's not because of the episiotomy --- it's because of my libido, children, etc. I was concerned about giving birth the second time. But as my doctor put it --- the bulldozer has already been through --- he paved the way for boy #2 --- it'll be smooth. And he was right. The second labor was much better. I wouldn't rush into anything, though. We started trying 2 years later. Our boys ended up being 3 1/2 years apart. I also remember not wanting to ride a bike or a horse, etc. I remember it hurting to go poop. Take baths. Eat foods that will make your stools softer. Sit on pillows for long car rides. Sounds like you had a rough labor. You deserve to pamper yourself. Tough to do with a baby. But take it easy on yourself and don't try and be super woman. This, too, shall pass. :)

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You aren't alone...it took me four months to heal after my first--huge episiotomy. Things were MUCH easier and healed so much quicker with my second. There is hope. Hang in there. And talk with your husband...they can't be sympathetic if they don't have the info.

Mine took awhile to heal because I tore up towards the clitorus instead of on the perinium. I swore by lost of tucks pads. You should probably stick with pads until it heals properly.

This may sound wierd but when you get out of the shower, blow dry it. My midwife told me to let it air out and the warm heat on it will speed up healing. It really worked great and on each baby has healed much faster with the warm, dry air for a couple minutes each day. Good luck.

I had a very similar problem NOT FUN! I had an episiotomy with my first. I was quite angry with the Dr for doing it, because when I saw him grab the scissors I told my Hubby to tell him no episiotomy and my Hubby did and the doc said 'you're going to rip' and just cut without another word. Made me so mad. And to top it off it didn't heal properly. When I went to my 6 week checkup and complained of the pain, the midwife that was checking me out said that I was pink and must be infected and prescribed antibiotics for me. That didn't do anything! And yes sex hurt for a long time. I ended up getting pregnant again when my son was 7 months old. And since we had moved from California to Utah I had to go see a different doctor. We didn't have insurance so I had to have a doctors note saying that I was pregnant to be able to apply for medicaid, and while I was there asked the doctor to check me out again. He said the same thing the midwife did at my 6 week visit. "It looks pink, must be infected. Here take antibiotics" I was like I have already done that it didn't do ANYTHING. He said "Well let's try it anyway". Well it didn't work. Once I got approved for medicaid I found an office of midwives that I just love, and one of them there that was checking me out saw what the problem was I had to see one of the doctors there to get their opinion on what to do, so I could tell the midwives what he said. And to make a long story short. I did not heal properly at all. After my second was born the midwife delivering stiched me back up. And again when I went in for my 6 week checkup it still wasn't healed properly, still very sore. My midwife referred me to another ob in the office and the next week I went in for surgery where he basically scraped all the scar tissue away and re-stiched me back up. And I healed just fine after that. So I know it's not fun :( and I hope my rambling helps you out some :)

3 months seems to be a long time. But do know: my best friend was bruised by forsepts. It took about three months to heal and sex wasn't that great for a year. She had another child. I torn up to the right butt cheeck and it healed. scare still hurts sometimes during sex three years later. I went on and had another kid with my OB going ahead and cutting me properly on the secodn delvery. My sister tore to the front..ouch!!!! she hsa a lot of issues but did heal and sex is okay but can be painful still three years later depending on the position. this was her third and final child. So, the amazing body should figure this out. Good thing you changed your care though. I think some OBs sort of stop after the 6 week appointment.

I have to say that Tucks pads are absolutely a life saver. It took years (sorry to scare you) before the pain went completely away for me, but I had other problems (just before I got pregnant I injured my tailbone so I may have been feeling both). Hang in there and let your hubby know so he doesnt feel like you dont want him anymore. Your doctor may know of a cream or something topical that is safe in that area that is a pain reliever as well. Asking is free... Good luck and Congrats!!

That is just a tough area. If they say it is healing nicely it should be fine, and if it was sewn up too much it will stretch again, or else fat people would be in agony. :D I'm sorry it's so painful, I remember that kind of pain and I didn't want to move or go anywhere. My first episiotomy didn't hurt, but I tore right before it and that was so painful. My last doctor said that he did not do episiotomys because it runs the risk that you could tear all the way to your rectum, which means muscles need to heal. I wish I had known that before the delivery, but nevertheless, this is something that doctors are split on, so if there's a next time be sure to discuss it so you know what to plan on.

one more note about the tenderness and healing, the healthier you eat, the more you can heal. sunflower seeds are good for your skin, that's one thing. get plenty of zinc, etc. and basically eat and drink super healthy. if you feel it itching that means it's healing, generally.

I had A LOT of pain with my episiotomy. I almost think I had a tear inside that they didn't catch. I would think it's possible to be sewn up too much, but unlikely. My husband and I tried having sex multiple times about 8 weeks after delivery. After a few months of trying and no success, we decided to take a break from trying to have tradition sex & just try other things while being together. After giving my body more time to heal (the pain was so severe when we tried - it was sharp, stabbing, burning, made me cry and want to drop to my knees). 7 1/2 months after delivering my baby boy, we were able to have sex without pain. So I think the fact that it hurt & then we would keep trying, made it so I couldn't heal properly. Now it's no issue at all, that's why I think I had a tear inside, I even went back to the Dr with the concern and they found nothing. I know 7 1/2 months seems like a long time, but childbirth does a number on your body. I had asked questions about it on here as well and a lot of women said it took over a year to have sex without pain. Hopefully your husband can be patient and you two can be together in other ways.

As far as a tampon is concerned, I would try to not use one for a while, if you can handle wearing pads. It might just aggravate the soreness & prevent you from healing all the way. If you have to wear one, then use a very small one and change it very frequently. Hopefully things get better quickly. Let me know if you have any other questions.

I had a similar problem following my first pregnancy and wondered the same thing, did they sew things up too tight? The first few months were very painful and I spotted some after sex. However, I just kept trying, using liberal lubrication and eventually things loosened up. I actually became pregnant with my second child when my first was nine months old and after that things were perfectly normal. I hope this is somewhat helpful. I don't have any quick fixes but things do get better. Good luck!

I had an episotomy with my first daughter 4 years ago, and sadly it still is painful for me at times. I have been embarrassed to ask so I am grateful that you are brave. I guess maybe that is a common problem, because my sister said she has it too. Maybe we all need to see our docs! Good luck.

I'm sorry that you are still having pain from your delivery in May. This did not happen to me to the degree that you are, but I do rememeber being sore for a while and my doctor said that it normal. It sounds like you are finally starting to heal, so give yourself more time! It takes 6 weeks to heal after a baby, so I would give yourself that much more time before getting worried. I think it was around 3 months (after healing properly) that I wasn't tender down there so be patient as you obviously have some complications.

I had a similar problem. When the Dr sewed me up she made it too tight and then I swelled which made it tighter. I ended up not being able to sit. Aweful!! Anyway I went back and was telling them of my continued pain. They checked me out and removed the stiches -that weren't disolving- and I had relief within a few days. At least I could sit. My stiches were more on the inside than outside vulva. I tore on the outside too. They didn't sew it up and now I have a 1 1/2 inch to a 2 inch skin tag that I have to have removed. I also found that "Tucks" pads laid against the sore spot really helped. Good luck. A.

To add to the other response, I also did get past the discomfort eventually- and with my 2nd and 3rd I had NO discomfort once healed! I hope this encourages you about future pregnancies- good luck!

I'm sorry you have to go through all this. If you want to have a natural childbirth next time, I'd recommend taking a Bradley class. Natural childbirth is a lot more exciting & easy than what you are and have been going through!

I am in the same boat as you are, although my daughter is 20 months and I am still a little tender when it comes to relations. I had a level 4 episiotomy with the first one (is that the level where it goes from hole to hole and into the second hole?? thats the one I had) with my second the dr didn't want me to tear in the same spot so he went diagonal, that one is still giving me some issues but I figure its a bad scar and scars tend to be tender for a while. Just I Guess my answer is a lot of lube and tell him to take it easy til it gets better. Ive been tempted to massage vitamin E oil on it or something to help it heal better. The incision is healed just the scarred :)

It's been so long I almost have forgotten how miserable my epis. was. It took 6 mos for mine to heal to the point that I could exercise (specifically jogging) pain free, and it was almost a year before I could have pain free i/c with DH.

It should get better, but it may take longer than you'd like. BTW, I had a 3rd degree tear - border line 4th they said, and it took about an hour for the doc to sew me up. They even had to call in a specialist OB to do the sewing.

I did a lot of reading with my 2nd pregnancy (kiddos were 4 yrs apart), and decided to go with all natural child birth (had an epidural and all sorts of crazy stuff with my first). Unfortunately, DS was breech, then posterior, then had the cord around his neck, and we ended up with a CS, but I'd still try for a natural CB if I were going to do it again (which I'm not). Much less chance of a bad tear.

It's never taken me quite that long, but it always seems to take longer than the standard 6 weeks for me. The last one, my doctor didn't cut me enough so in addition to the incision, I had a lovely tear. I know, gross, but she had to sew the pieces together. It took a good two months before it felt ok again, and close to 3 months before it felt normal. It will heal and get better, it just takes some of us longer than others. Good luck, I hope it heals fast!

D., I am sorry you are going through this. I had a situation after having my son where the inside skin actually grew on the outside. It was quite painful and would bleed on and off. I kept waiting for it to heal before asking my midwife to remove it. Once it was all removed, Iinstantly felt a lot better (even felt like I had more energy). If it is still bothering you, don't wait it out. Go in and be checked to see if some of the skin is left. Also, I used icepacks to help numb the pain (worked really well) and just take it easy until you feel better.

Wow D., I'm really sorry to hear this. How uncomfortable you must be. I agree, you should be completely healed by now. Your concerns are not unfounded. It sounds to me like you might have something called granulated tissue. Without getting more information about the exact sensations you're having and where, this is my best guess. Granulated tissue is where the tissue that lives on the inside of your body sneaks out and grows on the outside of your body. this can happen when you tear during birth. Sounds strange doesn't it? Well it's certainly not a normal occurrence. Although it does happen every now and then. But this would explain why you are having so much pain and tenderness. The tissue is very sensitive and can even bleed with irritation.
Rest assured it isn't possible to be sewn too tight. The purpose of suturing a tear is to bring the two torn pieces of tissue together so they will heal. Think of a butterfly bandage that just brings the tissue together. The stitches eventually dissolve as the tissue heals.
It sounds like your doc may have tried to remove the tissue but may not have been successful in removing all of it. It can be quite difficult depending on the location. I would go back and have her take another look to see if there isn't more she can do. You may also try rubbing vitamin e oil directly on the sore spot to help it heal or a product called replens which helps restore the natural lubrication that is decreased with the hormone fluctuations postpartum. Take heart, having another baby could actually resolve this issue as it could reopen the damaged area providing it an opportunity to reapproximate itself and heal normally.
I sure hope this helps.
Bestwishes to you- J. Johnstun, LDEM-CPM midwifejules.com

When I had mine, it was tender for months. It was almost as if the stitches were still there, but they weren't. I even had the same thought that they sewed a little too much. I was given the advice to massage the area, that it would make the skin more pliable. Just take your time and if you have major concerns have a discussion with your physician.

Isn't crazy that women aren't talking about things like this more to inform other women. I would have liked to have known this could be a complication, it wouldn't have deterred me....anyway I ended up with nerve damage after mine and lots of scarring. Almost two years after the baby I had scar tissue removed but they couldn't get it all and so they put me on amitryptoline for nerve pain. What a marriage saver that was. After my second child (C-section) I have been better. I had to stop the medication to get pregnant and have another child, but I don't seem to need it anymore. SO I guess what I'm hinting at is don't wait too long to seek help. There are alot of options like the massage and estrogen creams and such. But if they don't work keep seeking help.

You might try TUCKS medicaited pads. These help a lot for the pain. They're made for hemroids, but I didn't even know about them until I had my first child. She is 2 now and I just had my son a couple of months ago and even thought I didn't need an episiotomy with him, I asked for the TUCKS pads to help with the "skid marks" pain. They are great. Hope this helps!

I can relate to your problem a bit. Although I did not have an epesiotomy, I ripped during the birth, so we were dealing with similar injuries. I also had stiches, and I still find sex a bit uncomfortable (our son is almost 5 months), but the discomfort continues to dissipate. If you are still in pain, maybe you could use pads instead of tampons for a few months. As for helping the injuried area, a thought came to mind from some suggestions of my midwife during pregnancy (We are living in Germany, where midwives help a lot in the pre and postbirth phases). To prepare the perineum for the birth, there is a special massage oil which you can use to help make the perineum more flexible and to help avoid severe ripping. Maybe a similar oil would help just to soften the tissue of the affected area? If there is a midwife or doula in your area, I would contact her.

I had similar problems with my first. They didn't sew up the episiotomy right, so I was in pain for weeks. My doctor cauterized mine, too.
Don't use a tampon if it hurts, sticking with a pad is a better option until the soreness goes away. As for sex, use a lubricant and go slow. It didn't get back to normal for about 6 months in my case.
But there is hope, my second time went much better. No problems with the episiotomy, just the normal recovery.

Hi D.,

I ended up having to use an estrogen cream to help heal it and make it not so tender down there. Perhaps it is worth asking your doc about? I believe it was called Premarin.

Hi D.,
Unfortunately, I feel your pain (and I say this literally, this being 2 years after my child was born)! I was very apprehensive about having sex after the delivery since I tore from "stem to stern" (front to back)and they had to do the episiotomy in addition because my son just refused to come out. I, too, thought that they might have added a 'courtesy stich' for my husband, but was told that over time it would loosen up. I made many visits to my OB-GYN, at first the incision wouldn't heal and would 'split' at the vaginal opening, then I was told it would feel better the more it was 'used', but sex was the last thing on my mind. I was given estrogen cream and told to massage myself 'down there' with the hopes it would loosen up (I was also told that breast feeding also makes it tighter and drier, so the use of lubrication was an absolute must). I did notice some relief after I stopped nursing after 1 year, but sex was still not even remotely enjoyable, so we just stopped altogether. After many more months of severe discomfort(and having a very understanding, but very unfufilled hubby)I finally decided to just 'push through the pain' and see if that was what we needed to do. We would take things very slowly (with a ton of lubricant)and I am happy to say that things are starting to return to normal. I do still feel as though I am pretty 'tight', but it is not the excrusiating pain that I once felt. My advice would be to start having sex as soon as you feel ready...I believe my situation became worse because I let it go for so long-it was almost 6 MONTHS before we tried to have sex for the first time after my son's birth and had very little (only 2-3 times!) for the first 2 years of his life.

I know, a little T.M.I. in this post, but I hope sharing this will help you to know that you are not alone and it will get better (and this is from someone who never thought it would!)
Good luck to you!
-C.

It took me almost seven months to recover from mine. I ripped. I had infections, swelling and everything. It just takes time. I never could get used to tampons again. That was almost thirteen years ago. Just be patient. Good luck!!!