Contemplating Home School

Instead of the traditional "home school" programs, check out CAVA it's virtual education!! We just started this year for the first time. It was hard at first because thier was so much I didn't know. I was too new to the whole concept of home schooling. Now 45 days into it, I love it and so do my children!!! We will never return to a traditional school again. As parents we have our lives back and our kids!!!

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As you can tell from the range of replies, there are a lot of differing opinions on this one, mostly, I think, because the term homeschooling covers a wide range of practices.
There are two basic issues here: academic and social.

The academic one is actually the easier.
You have a lot of choices.
Public schools allow for Individual Study, which means the kids meet formally with a teacher on a regular schedule and follow the state curriculum. The pluses are that you get a real transcript, and a lot of structure. The minuses are that it produces a lot of busy work, and that same structure that can seem like a support can also seem like a constraint.
There are multiple charter schools, again these are associated with the public school system, but structured differently - they may offer classes, underwrite the cost of curriculum materials, and again provide structure, transcripts, and opportunities for socialization (the s-word!).
There are some private schools that provide the same kind of services.
You can also file an r-4 form with the state and become your own private school. Purchase a curriculum or just make it up as you go along. (A kid I know now doing computer sciences at UCB was what they term un-schooled.)
When you locate your local homeschooling groups, they will fill you in on the local possibilities.
I've seen people do all of these and have fine outcomes.
I homeschooled my kid 1-12th - she got into UCB, NYU,and honors programs at UWash, and UOregon.
Her peers have ended up in schools like UCB, UCSC, Kalamazoo, William and Clark, and the like.
And, yes, some of them aren't going to college at all, but instead devoting their time to other interests - one is dancing full-time, another volunteering.
I'm sure there are other homeschoolers who have done less well than the lot I know, but these are the kids my kid chose to hang out with.

Then there is the s-word: socialization.
Yes, I know there are some terribly socialized homeschoolers.
I think the same goes for kids who go to schools, you know.
It depends a lot on why a child is homeschooled.
One thing I realized was that often the schools "suggest" that a family homeschool when the kid is difficult.
Seriously, over the years, as we homeschooled, we always encountered new families turning up with seriously disturbed kids, only to discover they had been steered towards homeschooling not through their own choice so much as because the system was tired of them.
And there are also families who simply have very odd ideas of how to deal with their children: "I don't ever tell him no. I don't want to have that kind of relationship with my child."
Um?
But these weren't the majority, and frankly could be pretty much avoided.
Most of the kids I met were fine - if anything rather better socialized than the equivalent schooled kids I met through my child's other activities.
Which, brings us to what you do about the socialization issue.
First, there are homeschooling groups, lots of them.
Find them, check them out, join one.
Mostly they have regular meetings and also organized activities or classes.
Try to sponsor activities of your own - teach an art activity, plan a field trip, do things to make opportunities for your kids to spend time with the kids in the group.
And bear in mind that all the things the group offers are provided by other parents - you are all making it up as you go along - so chip in yourself, to make the group experience richer.
Second, make sure you also have non-homeschooling activities for your kids, structured interests that will continue over the years.
Get them onto a sports team, or a youth chorus, or gym classes, or dance classes, or karate - something with a lot of kids, that they can stick with for years.
This means there is always a place where they know the people, where there is a structure, a schedule, and rules.
Because even if you don't want your kids spending all the time in this sort of environment, you do want them to understand how it works.
And you do want them to know what the rest of the world lives like.
But when you displace this kind of situation from full-time school to a weekly, voluntary thing, it cuts into the strength of the peer-group pressure these kids normally feel.

I've really enjoyed the time I spent homeschooling my kid.
I'm glad we ended up doing it, and think we had a good result.
But every family's experience of it is different.
It might be that it would work beautifully for you, or it might be that it just doesn't.
Best of luck

1 mom found this helpful

You've gotten a lot of advice here. There are definately some pros & cons of home schooling. The one most talked about is socialization. Kids learn so very much from their peers, in & out of the classroom And yes, some of it is not all good but that also helps your kids cuz they need to figure out what's a good choice & what's a bad choice. I could go on about the many social benefits kids get thru traditional schools that help them thru their whole lives. Do you think you have the patience & stamina to deal w/your kids every day, all day? Not only will you be teaching 3 kids at different ages & acadmic levels but you'll still be doing all your normal household stuff...meals, cleaning, laundry, errands, dr's appt. etc. Things that the average SAHM gets done when their kids are outa the house at school. Kids need time away from us so that they grow into their own little independent people. We need that time away from them to rejuvenate ourselves Do you have any experience or background in education? I spent years working w/kids in the school system & have all kindsa child ed. units but still do not think I'm qualified to teach my own kids. I don't have the full degree/credential, I don't have the experience that a teacher has in terms of classroom management, and even tho it's just your 3, you'll still have to deal w/typical sibling squabbling while trying to educate them. Then there's the challenge of coming up w/creative, stimulating cirriculum & you'll need to do that for 3 kids at 3 different ages &/or abilities. And like one other poster commented, if your kids are currently in school, how do you think they'll feel being pulled outa their school? Involve them in this decision if possible & respect their opinions & perspectives. Even tho you could still make it a point to help them keep in touch w/their friends, those friendships will probably fade away as they won't see each other as much. Best of luck!

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Hi V., You have received a lot of great advice so I'll just mention a few things. I homeschool my 3 children and one of the reasons we chose to homeschool was because we have been around so many awesome kids that are homeschooled. Socially awkward kids that are homeschooled are not the norm. Socialization is completely up to you, the parent. There are plenty of opportunities. You just have to take advantage of them. There are about 300 families that homeschool in the Morgan Hill/Gilroy area. We have 60 families in our homeschool group and there are hundreds of families and many homeschool groups in San Jose. Today, 160 parents and kids from our homeschool group are going to Monterey Bay Aquarium for a field trip. The aquarium opens their doors for free to homeschoolers four times a year and they provide all kinds of great activities that are not available to the general public. The one persona that mentioned that you have to be a certified teacher for the records to count is incorrect. Check out hslda.com for the laws in California.

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We homeschool our oldest two kids (5 & 7). We have homeschooled form the start and love it. It offers us flexibility that a public school wouldn't. I am able to cater the lessons to my child's needs. My five year old is very precocious. She is doing mostly first and second grade work but at her maturity level. My seven year old is able to continue at grade level in everything but reading. He has a lazy eye that we are working on trianing but it makes reading difficult so he is able to do most of his work by dictation instead of writing it all and we work on reading at his pace. Also we are able to take our vacations at off peak times. We went to Santa Cruz the week after Labor Day and had the beaches all to ourselves. We are in the North Bay and belong to a group here but there are support groups all over. Go to yahoo groups and search fro your city, county or just bay area and you will find several groups. Also try www.californiahomeschool.net. It will explaing the laws and your choices here in California plus most likely inform you of local groups so you can make local contacts. We love homeschooling but like any parenting decision it has good times and bad. Also we maintain that no choice is permanant if it isn't working we can change. The other challenge we have is when something needs to happen durring the day it can be difficult to find child care. THis is new for us as our one year old has some medical issues that have required trips to UCSF to see specialists and we haven't wanted to brign the older ones along.

H.

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I don't have any ideas or adivice for you but just wanted to say that is sounds like you are going to be best advicate. If you have anything to do with it, which i am sure you well have everything to do with it, She is going to get the best help and turn out just fine.

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Lots of great advice, and it's helped me as well! My son is only 2, but homeschooling is something I really want to do. When I lived in FL, I founded the homeschool PE program at my recreation center, and I watched it grow through proud eyes and a proud heart!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVED my homeschoolers!!!! They were such a joy and so bright! I did classes for all ages: 6-17, and they seemed so much more refined than my public school kids. I had some great school kids, too, but my homeschoolers have always and will always hold a special place in my heart!!!!

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Hi V.,

My daughter just graduated this past year. She's now in college and working part time at Starbucks, going away to the university next year. We homeschooled all the the way through. She has had a great education and we have had a full, wonderful family life.

We started homeschooling mainly because I didn't want to miss out on my daughter's firsts - I loved reading together, I loved seeing the "lightbulb come on." And then it just grew from there. Each year we evaluated and made the decision together as a family. I never had planned on homeschooling through high school, it just developed one year at a time.

There are so many amazing resources. We used Sonlight Curriculum as our core - and it was fantastic. It is a literature based curriculum. Excellent teacher resources, even weekly/daily plans with questions, etc. You might want to check out their forums - you can ask any and all questions and get all the pros and cons both for their curriculum and homeschooling in general.

One other post mentioned homeschoolers being socially awkward -- I truly have seen a little of this, but what a generalization! I remember when I first started thinking about homeschooling and many folks would ask, "What about socialization?" Another Mom said to me, "Do you really want your child socialized by thirty other public school kids?" "Are the people skills you see in the majority of children the ones you really want you child to model?"

Although we aren't in your area we did drive over to SJ to be part of a wonderful band program -- they even marched in a Christmas parade. It was really fun - we participated three years, 6th - 8th. There is so much support available in the SJ area. I know of homeschool groups, debate clubs, homeschool choir, theater groups, etc.

Feel free to email me any additional questions.

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I home schooled my two chidren from 3rd to 12th grade, and they are in college now doing great. I would recommend going through a charter school to start. (They keep records for you, which is important in the high school level especially. College entrance is easier with good records.) I used Pathways, but there are many. Check the internet for local charter schools in your area.(Some supply each child with a computer to use for the school year) We met with a facilitator in my home once a month, but for the younger kids they come once a week. (you can meet with them at the center also, I just chose to meet at my home) You can go to the centers also for classes with labs, like science classes. The Independent Study programs through the school system are another option, but less available in some cities. They are both free and supply all curriculum. I also used the Jr. College system for classes in Jr High and High School. The students get three high school units for every college unit and it is great. When you home school, the kids have about 3 to 4 hours of school a day and no home work! What a concept! At schools there is so much wasted time and hours of homework because the class time is wasted. A schedule is very important to run a home school successfully. That way the kids have structure during the learning hours of the day and you as the teacher don't get frazzled. Use the library as a study and research center. My daughter took classes not offered in the school system, like latin, piano, dance and so on. I could go on and on, but it is worth it. I am told all the time that my kids are so well rounded and can communicate to people of all ages well. I believe that is because they were home schooled. My kids were average, and the thrived! Join a home school group for socialization, field trips and events that are important to kids growing up. Feel free to e-mail me with any questions.
E. ( ____@____.com )
One more tidbit - There are also DVD school programs such as "A Beka"(Christian based)(this is where the student watches a class on tape for each subject, just like being in a classroom setting) and computer education like "California Virtual Academy".

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Hi V..

Yes, I homeschooled my kids both from pre K on. I stopped this year only because I'm a single mom working full-time and could not give them the time they need and work at the same time.

Last year someone tried to make homeschooling illegal in CA, but that did not stick as the board of education and the governor all know that we need homeschoolers to keep our public schools from overcrowding. The public schools still get our tax dollars, but don't have to ever see our children. Also, homeschoolers are way ahead of public school children in test scores.

Home schooled children do go on to college and their schooling does count.

The question I have is why you want to home school. If you want to stay with the public schools, there are programs they offer and you can keep your kids at the public school pace, they monitor your schooling etc. I have friends who have done that and loved.

I home schooled because we are Christians and didn't want our kids learning the "morals" or lack thereof, that are taught in the public schools. I also wanted my kids to learn Biblical principles of life and true history. The public schools often teach history from a revisionist point of view. There are thousands and thousands of publishers out there that you can choose from for curriculum. You can either choose all your curriculum from one company or do different subjects with different curriculum. The great thing about private home schooling is that if your child is at grade level in one subject and ahead in another, you can choose whatever curriculum you want to work at their speed.

If you are not home schooling through the public schools, you need to register as a private home school every year. You can google CHEA of CA, which is a Christian homeschooling organization. There you can get info on how to start your homeschool, whether it will be Christian based or not.

Some of the publishers I used were Alpha Omega (we used both their book curriculum and their computer based curriculum. The last two years, this is all I used as they have the entire package on CD rom and it worked out great for my kids. We just took the laptop with us wherever we went and they did school at my work, in the car, in their rooms, at the beach, wherever!) I also used Sing Spell Read and Write to teach phonics. Pathway Readers are great for language arts. Saxon for math, and Beautiful Feet for history. You can also make up your own curriculum or print free pages off the internet. Depending on the ages of your kids, everyday experiences could be teaching experiments, such as going to the store and counting out apples and oranges.

There are also homeschool support groups. These are great not only for the mom to get in some fellowship and teaching ideas, but for the kids it is a great support group for socializing. My group did field trips, got together for PE a couple times a week, had graduation parties, etc. Look up SELAH homeschool groups. There are different groups under this main group in areas all over San Jose.

The last suggestion I have for you if you want a Christian organization, is to send your kids to a homeschool support school. My kids went one year to Pioneer Family Academy at my church, The Home Church in Campbell. They only meet a few hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays for science and history. You teach the other subjects from home on the other days. I think it costs about $250.00 per month per child.

All this to say I was very happy with home schooling and that my children wish we could have continued through high school. It is unfortunate that we had to stop this year, but I can tell you that their home schooling experience was the best thing for them. Not only are they well educated from the one-on-one teaching (though my jr high son is pushing the not wanting to do his homework thing now!) but they know the value of family and stand up for what they believe in at their public schools. If nothing else, home schooling promotes family togetherness and the ability to teach them your own values on a regular basis. It is a challenge, but one I think almost every homeschool mom will tell you was well worth it.

I hope you will look into it more and give it a try. You children will thank you for it! Please feel free to email me if you have any other questions.

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Hi!
I think you're considering a great thing! I was homeschooled 1st-8th grades, and I have to say that i'm grateful to my mom for it! my older and younger brothers were also homeschooled. my husband and I ae planning on homeschooling our daughter, and any other children we may have.
being in Fresno, my family went through CHEFA (I think it's only in the central valley), but i'm sure if you looked online, you could find something similar for your area. if you wanted to see what CHEFA is all about, and see if you'd want to find something similar, look up chefa.org. you could probably email someone through CHEFA and they could probably recommend something in your area, i'm sure.
someone I know is using Sonlight. they also have a website. i'm not sure if you particularly want a christian program or curriculum, but both those programs are christian. if not, you'd probably be best off using a home school program through a school, or something like the second lady here referred you too.

good luck! if you ever want to talk about homeschooling, or have more questions about it, feel free to PM me, i'd love to talk about it more. :)

Hello V.,

Frankly, I have serious questions about home schooling. I have a degree from UC Berkeley and have worked in classrooms, and I never felt qualified to home school. Of course, my son had a very oppositional personality (!), so it never would have worked for us anyway. I did take him to special science and art classes, as well as museum exhibits, to give him the background I knew he wouldn't get in school. If you think you are qualified to teach math, history/social studies, science, as well as literature, go ahead, but I think turning out truly well-educated students is quite difficult, since even the students I've met who go to good colleges are not that intellectually impressive, at least to my standards and those of my high school friends.

Good luck!

E.

We began home schooling our son this year and we have found it to be very delightful. It' was a bit rocky at first as we settled into our routine but have our groove now and it is so much fun. I am happy to be able to provide him a healthy lunch ( and know he's eating it) I know that he is getting one on one education and watching him "get" certain things is very rewarding for the time put into being "Teacher" Iam so happy to be in this age and in this Bay Area. There are soo many resources and networks here so it's not like your re-inventing the wheel your just jumping on for the ride in a different direction. We have more time in our day to enjoy the many extra curricular things that are left out of public schools. We also have more flexibility to enjoy traveling and having visitors without worrying about a rigid schedule. But no matter what we put in our school time each day! So for me I would say definately look into it!

Dear V.,
There are many different schools of thought (no pun intended) when it comes to home schooling.
I guess it all depends on how you go about it. How structured and organized you are, etc.
I often thought about home schooling my children (but got a divorce and had to work, so that went out the window).
I think it's a personal decision and one that should be considered very carefully. I am so glad I didn't home school and I'll tell you why.
All the kids I have known personally, who were/are homeschooled, are socially awkward. The parents are perfectly nice people, but the kids do not know how to interact with other kids their age when it comes to sharing, taking turns, interacting with kids in groups such as at birthday parties, etc. One boy who was of freshman high school age, although polite and incredibly intelligent, had only one friend; my son, who was in the 2nd grade. He had always been homeschooled. And although he did things like volunteer at the animal shelter, etc, he had been so protected and isolated by his parents that he had zero peers. I felt so sorry for him. He had only ever been around his parents and other adults.
Another situation I know of, three siblings being homeschooled, the children were maniacs, and the oldest boy was a flat-out bully to the other kids in the neighborhood. His mother is one of the nicest people I ever met. But, her children behaved like animals.
There is the academic aspect, of course, but I think there are just some things you can't teach your children at home. And social interaction is vital to a child's development and their sense of self....and their ability to go out into the world and function in it.
It is possible to protect your children from too much.
That is my opinion.
I'm sure you'll get some other great responses and I'm sure you'll do what you feel is right and best.

Best wishes!

I have a friend with 3 kids who started homeschooling this year and she loves it. The school she is registered with takes care of setting up lessons and field trips with other homeschooling families. I can get the information if you are interested.

HOMESCHOOLING IS SO AMAZING. V., you have gotten some PRETTY solid advice. KNow that no matter what YOU choose, homeschooling or some of the other program, will benefit your kids the best because you know them well. I have been loving every moment of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hi, if you do, make sure they get enough of a social structure and PE too-i consider doing it if i can get in with a good group of moms...not in your area tho,sorry

My husband told me that in CA if you yourself are not a teacher that it does not count on their permanent academic record. You may want to look into it closely. Good Luck!

Homeschooling is very much a personal choice, however it's also a choice that you should involve your children in. There are many opportunities for ways to homeschool and truthfully your chilren can do just fine in homeschooling if you provide the structure they need to complete assignments, you make sure that they have challenging assignments, make sure they are learning new and interesting things and provide plenty of opportunities for socialization. I personally did an individual study program (it's like homeschooling except that you meet with a teacher each week for assignments and you get the chance to work with a teacher if there are any problems)for my last 2 years of high school and 1 year in elementary school. Some big things were that if you get involved in a program where you are meeting with a teacher make sure that you like the program. The year I spent homeschooling in Elementary school was horrid, not because I didn't like doing my work at home but because the school we went through was horribe. But I LOVED my last 2 years of high school, in which I got to choose my own schedule and I even went to college classes (you can start doing that at like 15 years of age).

Back to your kids, If any of your kids are already in school they may have their own opinions abut whether they want to be taken out of school. If your child wants to continue to go to school then let your child go and provide activities outside of school that are challenging and fun in learning. As well, (as some parents who I knew who homeschooled found) if later on your child wants to go to school like them try it out. Try to find a program that is challenging for them and let them try it out for a year or so and see what its like. They may decide that they don't like it or they may decide they do.

Other than that I agree with other moms. I have known some homeschooled kids who have gone on to major universities and even Ivy schools but I've also known some who have not gone on in their lives and still live at home late into their 20s even though they are not even going to school. Different kids and parents end up with different outcomes. If you stay objective and keep up your childs chances for socialization then you will see if your child's having problems with homeschooling. Don't completely swear off schools, remember that if your child is having difficulties with homeschooling then you can seek out regular schools to put your child in that have strong programs.

I was home schooled for nine years. I was able to skip 6th grade and graduate high school at 16 years old. I got tired of my friends teasing me that I was only getting good grades because my mom just gave them to me, so I went down and took the California High School Proficiency Exam just to prove to them that I was at least as smart as they were. So, I ended with a High School Diploma as well as a certificate from the state.

I graduated from Jr. College at 19 and CSUS at 22. I started my own business the month after I graduated from CSUS. I can proudly say that home schooling worked for me!

Fast forward nine years....I am now home schooling my three younger brothers and tutoring a little girl that lives in my area. When I have children I plan on home schooling them.

I was home schooled because I was bored in public school and because my family like to travel. Instead of just reading about Mt. Rushmore and the Statue of Liberty...I got to go see them...of course that was followed by having to write a report on them. :-)

My brothers all have medical issues that put them in a disadvantage in a public school, they'd be in detention for not being able to sit still and special education because they have learning disabilities. With me they are in a classroom with a 3 to 1 ratio. At a public school it's more like 30 to 1.

I had a few difficult moments growing up, that I wished to be in public school because I thought I was missing out on what my friends were doing, like Prom...but it never lasted long and the benefits far outlasted what I thought I was missing. Benefits like taking swimming, gymnastics and karate for P.E. instead of having to run laps around a field. I was involved in the drama team and choir at church. I had friends in the neighborhood and friends at church. I did volunteer work and baby-sat. I never felt like I was getting enough "socialization".

While I am a huge supporter of home schooling, I am also an advocate of actual education. If you are not disciplined enough to sit down with your kids and follow a routine and actually teach them...don't pull them out of where they are at. Even getting bullied at school and learning something is better than staying home and playing video games all day.

My late husband had a daughter with 6 kids who decided to do home schooling. The 21-year-old still hadn't graduated from high school. These children had no social skills thus had no clue how to act around people in the real world. One of the girls decided to enroll in public high school and hated it because she had to actually work. Another gal loved public high school but ended up dropping out and never finished her education. The son couldn't hack public high school, never finished the education and joined the Army.

I'm sure there are positives but I wanted to share some of the negatives.

HI V.,
I am home schooling my 1st and 3rd grader. We just started this year. We chose CAVA (California Virtual Acadamy). My kids love it and I am glad to be away from the problems at their regular public school. You can check out the program we are doing at www.k12.com
:-)W.