Confused - Columbus, OH

A.,

If he cheated on someone else to have a relationship with you...chances are likely he will do it again.

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People who have nothing to hide.. hide nothing.

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Point Blank.....If he has nothing to hide, then he will let you see his phone and all calls and text messages that go with it. You have a great deal of untrust because of something that he was not honest about. It is HIS responsibility to earn that trust back. It is not easy. I have been dealing with the same situation. My bf(fiance) of 7 years "cheated" on me for the whole first year we dated. I did not find out about it until 2yrs and a son later. One of the reasons I fell in love with this 7yr younger man was because I thought he had always been honest with me no matter what. Had we not already had a son together, I would've left. It took a long time for me to get him to understand that he did this. He broke my trust, and HE had to earn it back. It has been a long and sometimes painful process, but we are getting closer everyday. There will be arguments, some ugly, but if you can get over it, it is worth it in the end.

First of all, I would look at your concerns or suspicions and try to figure out if he is really continuing to be unfaithful to you or if you are being paranoid and having trouble trusting him(which is completely understandable). You mentioned fighting about him working extra on weekends to make ends meet, and concerns about him taking his phone everywhere he goes. These seem like normal things to do. However, if he isn't committing to you and your baby and wants to continue seeing other people, that is something you need to force him to make a decision about. Tell him something like this: "If you really love me and our son, you will commit to being with us and only us. If you can't promise that you will be faithful to me, I can't marry you or continue to live with you." That's my advice...

OK so he's gone on the weekends to earn money for your family. That is a good thing. You should have no problem with that.
Let's face it, cell phones are rude devices. I have been thru that with my own husband. On the phone all the time, answering no matter what is going on. There has to be a limit. He needs to give you and your child some time without interruption. Maybe Sundays could be phone free. Are you worried about who he is texting? Tell him you are just insecure and need reassurance. Let him know it would help if he included you, if he tells you who & what he is texting.
If all else fails, there is counseling, but you both have to be willing to listen and compromise.
If you love this guy, try to concentrate on that. Make his life easier and make your own life good. I've been married 30 years and much of our younger days were spent arguing. Just try to accept who and how he is. No one is perfect.

It is never good when a man says that you are crazy. Either you are and you are going to ruin your relationship or your not and he just wants you think you are. Either way, relationships are based on several principles, the two most important here: trust and compromise. If he isn't willing to compromise to regain your trust then perhaps there is no trust to regain. In my estimation if one person in a relationship cheats it is thier responsibility to re-earn your trust. They should be accountable to you until you trust them. That being said, if you didn't trust him completely then why have a baby with him. I think you should validate your issues....tell him you need for him to prove he is being faithful and if he can then let it go! If he can't then let him go!

Trust your "gut"... mine has never failed me.

A., it really sounds like he is doing someting shady. Every guy I know that ever cheated acted the same way with his cell phone. After he falls asleep take his phone, turn it on and snoop. You will not be able to get this out of your mind until you know the truth. Trust your instincts. If something is telling you to be suspicous, I bet it turns out there was a good reason for it. If he isn't doing anything wrong he shouldn't care if you look at his phone. Good luck!