Conflict of Opinion

Updated on April 21, 2008
C.B. asks from Oskaloosa, KS
8 answers

ok well my husband and i were both raised in churches, he baptist and me lutheran, both pretty formal, and have both been disillusioned as young adults and have fallen away from the church. our son is now 18 months old and i am seriously wanting to find a church "home" for us, however my husband is so "anti-church" that he is pretty adamantly refusing to go to the one i had found for us. his basic problem is that they seem too "money grubbing" for him. i've tried explaining that they feel they are doing god's work and that's why they need donations to help with missionary work, etc, however he's pretty turned off by it. i know that churches depend on contributions and can't exist without them, however, is there such a thing as a church that has a nice, smallish, relaxed atmosphere, and not expansion/missions crazy and always pushing for donations? it's a touchy subject and i don't mean to judge churches that have huge budgets, but i really think that if i want him to come with me (and i really do, it would be SO much easier) i'm going to have to find one that doesn't focus on that so much. any ideas? (PS, we are located in olathe however a fifteen or twenty minute drive is not out of the question if we find the right church)

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A.S.

answers from Kansas City on

You might want to try a Unitarian Universalist church. There is one near 87th & Metcalf across from South Lake Park, and there's one on the plaza. Here's a link for more info: http://www.smuuchurch.org/ and http://youtube.com/watch?v=wezp1W2HKlU

UU is a celebration of all religions, but at the same time of no religion. You can go there if you're a Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, Agnostic, Atheist... whatever! They accept all creeds, it's about spiritual understanding and exploration. They come together to discuss ethics, they explore the worlds religions and let you decide, let you take your own path to becoming a better person to make this a better world. They believe in community and volunteering. It's very laid back and a very welcoming atmosphere. They also have day care provided by trained professionals and religion classes (which I think start at 18 months).

Good luck in your journey!

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M.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I go to a Methodist Church also and it is pretty laid back on the money giving. Once a year they ask you to pledge what you are going to give for the year but I prefer to give as I can some weeks more and some weeks less. I go to Shawnee United Methodist. I like it because it is a large enough church to have lots of activities for the kids but still small enough that you know the people you are going to church with and the minister knows your name.

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C.H.

answers from Kansas City on

This is of course just my opinion. Maybe your husband just doesn't want to attend church. As you have explained he has fallen away from the church. That doesn't mean he has fallen away from his beliefs. My daughter and i attend church but my husband does not. We both believe in christ. He worships his way and i worship my way. God knows what you can give. To me it doesn't matter how much the church may ask for. They know not everyone can give what they would like. It's want i am able to give that matters. So to find a church you must find one you are comfortable with. Stop worried about the money.
God says come as you and give what you can.

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M.A.

answers from St. Louis on

Hello Carrie,
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is one that does not have paid ministers or paid anything. Everything is done by "callings", volunteering your time. Our missionaries spend 2 years out in the field (for the young men, and 18 months for the young women), but they pay for their own missions, unless someone outside their family will give to the cause.
We go by what the Bible states, giving 10% of our income as tithes, and if we can, we will give to "fast offerings" which goes to help people who don't have.
We don't have a minister standing up at the pulpit telling us what he believes, but each of us are asked at verious times to give "talks" in our Sacrament Meeting. This causes us to research a certain topic (sometimes we are asked to talk on certain subjects, sometimes not) and the speaker really learns a lot more than the congregation. My husband and I have been asked to speak on healthy living on the last Sunday of this month, and what's neat is, I've been researching about nutrition now for about 2 weeks! We are to referece the scriptures for our talks, not just get up there and talk about whatever we found on the Internet.
Anyway, I grew up as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and my husband was converted a year after we were married, literally making me go when our children were young.
I mostly stay home now due to a physical problem with traveling and sitting for long periods of time, but I have the scriptures to read and BYU TV that I can watch.
Fellowship is great, in that each family is assigned home teachers, which are 2 men mombers who come into our home once a month to give us a message, and find out if there are any problems that need attention (physical or spiritual), and the women are assigned 2 women members to come into the home once a month to visit with the mother of the home. I enjoy these times.
I pray you find what you are looking for. Look in the phone book under churches, if you are inclined to, and ask to have the missionaries come to teach you. You are not obligated to join, just invited if you feel it is where you belong.
Prayerfully,
Jan A in MO

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P.H.

answers from Wichita on

My father was similar to your husband about attending church. As a youth he experienced a rather 'evangelical' minister at his church and said he felt that there should be more dignity at the pulpit than that minister allowed.
My mother made sure we attended church with her. My father believes in Jesus Christ, has personal belief, and is squeemish about going to church still to this day.

Did it affect us as children? Certainly, but we both grew up as Christians, have a personal relationship with Jesus, and attend different churches.

fortunately, my husband and I attend the same church growing up so it's nice. Hopefully you and your husband can find one to agree on.

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R.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Carrie - I applaud you in your search for a church home for you and your family. My husband and I are different in religion and worship styles so it took us about 4 years to find the place we could agree on. I was raised RLDS and he was raised Methodist. We now go to a Disciples of Christ church and are pretty happy there. I sometimes go to the contemporary service because I like all the music. He prefers traditional worship and I don't mind it as that is what I was raised in so we as a family go to that service mainly. There is no "perfect" church but we have found this one is one that we enjoy the "church family" and it is a min from our house which is nice. You WILL find the right place for ALL of you. Just keep looking. Our kids for awhile would get up on Sunday mornings and say, "which church are we visiting today." Lol. We just kept checking them all out until we agreed on one. When you find it you will know it.
Pray about it. Will be thinking of you and blessings in your search! :)

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M.S.

answers from Wichita on

I don't get to live in KC anymore,but I had some beautiful people that helped me learn about Christianity in a healthy way, and they are just so down to earth. Lloyd and Brenda Rindels...church is called New Day and their website it

http://www.newdaykc.com/

I love them and they are wonderful people who have walked all walks of life.

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K.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi Carrie,

There is Olathe Bible Church at 13700 W. 151st, phone nbr ###-###-####. It's a good church. I go to Grace Christian Fellowship Church. It's at 7230 Quivira Rd, Just north of 75th street in Shawnee, phone nbr ###-###-####. It is a smaller, family oriented church, you can go to the church website to get more info; family.gcfc.net
Keep praying for guidance, God will direct you to the right church.

K. H.

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