Concerned, Worried, anxious...for My HISPANIC Toddler

Updated on May 14, 2010
J.M. asks from Hamilton, OH
26 answers

Hi, hope everything is allright. I'm from Puerto Rico and my husband and I moved here 2 years ago. We have 2 kids, a baby of 6 month old and the older is turning 2 years next month. I'm really worry about the fact that my son doesn't speak english. I'm a stay at home mom and we speak spanish. I don't know if taking him into a day care just for one or two days a week is best for him, so he can start learning some things and socialized OR by the other hand this will cause him to forget about spanish to only speaks english (my husband and I want him to be able to speak spanish against all odds). I'm also afraid that he could be tease for not been able to express himself or understand others. Add to this that my english is not so good either. Please if you have pass for something like this I will appreciate you let me know your experience since we do not have any relatives here and I hardly know anybody. I also wanted to know about a care facilities that teach spanish or that you recommend base in your experience or just because you know is trusted.
I apologized for any misspelling you may found in this but I need "the wisdom of other moms" to help me out here. Thank you very much for read this and for any input, advised and/or enlightenment you can gave me.

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J.R.

answers from Miami on

We are also a bi-lingual family -- not Spanish. I don't want to repeat the below great advice, especially by Lisa C and Beesmom, as I do agree having 2 languages is great. I will add another thought. I understand from friends that children that grow up with 2 languages -- they learn that things have more than one name, which develops their cognitive and critical thinking skills.

HTH

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My husband's family is from Mexico. The primary language his bro and cousins speak at home is Spanish. We speak Spanish and English in my home (though my toddler is the only one tht really speaks it). There were times when the kids started school that they had to press them to speak Spanish at home. The kids would want to speak only English. As long as you continue to speak Spanish at home, he should be fine. And you could benefit by learning more English as well. That is how a former sil learned-talking to people about the kids.

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M.A.

answers from Houston on

Taking your son to daycare and learning english will NOT make him forget spanish. A VERY good friend of mine is from Mexico. She speaks english and spanish, her husband only speaks english. Dont you know, that kid KNEW at the age if three, what Grandmother spoke which language!?! THEY know, believe me, they know!!! Good for you that your kiddo is bi-lingual. We should all be so fortunate.

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L.C.

answers from Dayton on

Hi J.,

I taught headstart, which is preschool for kids aged 3-5 years old, for a number of years. I happened to teach in an area that was mostly Spanish speaking. A lot of the children I taught started school speaking only Spanish. They picked up English right away. The younger they are, the easier it is. Their family spoke English when they dropped of their kids and picked them up, but in their homes they still spoke Spanish. Those kids spoke both languages fluently within 6 months. I think if you wanted to put your son in a preschool for a few days a week that would be a great way for him to make friends and learn English and he wouldn't lose Spanish as long as you were speaking it at home. I thought it was great that they spoke two languages and I loved the fact that they taught me Spanish, too.

L.

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J.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would advise you to look into a way to teach your son English-especially if you plan to stay here. It will be important for him as he gets older to communicate with his peers and teachers. He will be able to pick up English easily at this age...experts say starting young is the way to go.

Dont' worry-he won't lose his Spanish if you speak it with him at home.

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi J.,

My parents immigrated to this country and when they arrived, they did not speak or write one word of English. My siblings and I are bi-lingual; we learned English in elementary school. I remember back in school, having to attend speech class three times a week because I never attended any kind of daycare, preschool or kindergarten beforehand to learn English, so it was tough. So, good for you for giving your child an early start:) I think the earlier he learns English, the easier it will be for him. Don't worry, you can continue to speak Spanish at home. In my family, we children always spoke English outside the home and our native language at home. The great thing about being bi-lingual is that when he will be able to pick up learning other languages easily if he chooses to. You also mentioned that your English isn't very good. I encourage you to take some classes to better your English. My mother and father never perfected their English, and this made it difficult for them to understand and communicate with people. It also made if tough for their children also. Since my parents could not write or speak English well enough, my siblings and I had to do it for them. We would have to to write letters, checks, and fill out forms because they did not know how. We became our parents interpreters:)

Just my opinion,

M.

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W.T.

answers from San Diego on

I don't live near you, so I don't have any recommendations.

I would just like to say that you shouldn't worry. Your son will pick up the English he needs in school and around the other kids that he will meet at the park, etc.

My son is 2 1/2 and will be starting a German pre-school. The kids at this age just absorb language like sponges! Continue speaking Spanish to him. It is his heritage and his history.

The English will come. There is sometimes a delay with English as second language learners early in their education, but they will catch up quickly and have lots of cognitive benefits from knowing two languages!

I wouldn't worry mama!

Look on Yahoo groups for a playgroup that is Spanish speaking so that you have some community and a bilingual one for him so that he gets English and Spanish.

He seems a bit young for pre-school. Maybe look into one at a recreation center and see if they have something for September for 2 times a week.

Good luck!

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

i really feel you would be doing him a great disservice to not get him into preschool and learning english. not only will you make his life harder, there is a lot of prejudice in this country against people who don't speak english. i would simply call some local preschools/daycares and ask if they are bilingual. i bet you could find one that is. then not only will you feel more comfortable, you will know that he will be understood too. he will not forget spanish if it is what you speak at home. he will not forget your heritage if you teach him as he grows up to remember and honor your traditions. good luck!

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

your english isn't bad actually. I would try to find a bilingual daycare so he can learn english since he isn around english speaking kids. and speak only spanish at home. he will become fluental in both. I used to have a neighbor girl whos mom only spoke spanish no english she was in school and would have to translate. so she spoke both learned english at school and spanish at home. the younger they are when they start the easier it is for them to pick up.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

You're going to want to teach him English. He's going to need it. You can teach him the Spanish word and the English word at the same time. It will be a good way for you to improve your English as well. He's really going to need to be fluent in English before he starts school. It seems like you have a good command of the written language, so the spoken should come fairly easily for you.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

If you live in the United States the language is english. It is wonderful for a child to be bilingual and it is part of your heritage that you will want to make sure he keeps. But if your going to be part of the united states he and you both need to speak the language. Your setting him up to fail in this country if you don't start teaching him and have him fluent when he starts kindergarten.

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C.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

just another echo that you don't need to worry about your child losing the spanish, where it is spoken at home, it won't happen. the younger you are the easier it is to learn a language. (don't worry though it doesn't mean you can't as you are older, you just have to work harder than a little kid) I have nieces and nephews that are bilingual, as stated in another post in their homes one parent speaks english and the other parent the other language, and the kids understand it all. I grew up hearing German from my dad, and then Navajo in school when we lived in an area where I was the only white girl in my class. I learned some Navajo at that time. We moved, and I lost that except for a few phrases. I took German in school to talk it more with my dad. (he was a German teacher) I then as a young adult went on to learn Korean. I picked it up much quicker than most people. I was told because of my early exposure to other languages my mind was just more receptive to it. Imagine not losing it in between--your child will have such a wonderful advantage in life! If you don't want to put him in a day care or preschool at this stage but want to be introducing some english to him and working on your english skills at the same time, pick up some simple childrens books at the library. reading out loud to your child will expose him to the English, and the grammer and proper structure of the language. I worked as a tutor for ESL students for many years, and when working with adults I would have them read out loud from children's books. the ones who had kids to read to did so much better than the ones who didn't because they were more consistent with their reading. You are doing well with your English, probably more than you realize--and I really commend you for wanting to maintain your language of origin as well as learning the language here. You have some very lucky children.

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi , I don't really have any advice for you as I have not been through this , but I do know that younger kids pick up languages very easily , I think if you sent him to a preschool that speaks English and then continued talking in Spanish at home he will pick both up very well. I think you are right in that he needs to be able to speak English to enable him to get on better in later life.

As a note I just want to add though that although you say your English is not very good , I infact think that it is from what you have typed , don't put yourself down , I bet you could even teach your son some English yourself.

Good luck

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H.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi J.,

First, your child is only two. You're doing a great job and I understand being worried. My brothers household is bi-lingual. His wife is German, so she speaks only German with the kids, my brother speaks English. This works very well for them - the kids learn both. My nieces and nephews test ahead in BOTH languages. (They are older now oldest is 12) Childrens minds work much better at learning languages then ours. You do not have to choose one or the other, there is no reason your son can't be fluent in both. In fact, you will be giving your child a WONDERFUL gift.

If you're worried, I see no problem with a part-time two day a week daycare while he's young to increase his English vocubulary. He won't lose who he is from this. Also, you might consider taking an ESL class yourself at a local community college -- you could practice words with your son, make it a game.

When he gets older, if you're still worried his English is behind -- here in Texas the state offers free pre-k to children in Spanish speaking households, to help get them ready for kindergarten. You might see if your city has something similar? I have an Aunt in Law that teaches in Akron OH, I could ask her if she knows of anything -- if you want.

Let me tell you, both of my grandmothers are hispanic. My great grandfather on my mother's side came over during a very different time. He forbade Spanish speaking in his house and by his grandchildren. Because of that - my Mother doesn't speak Spanish, and I only know what I learned in school. I *WISH* my family had kept speaking it and I could speak it as well as my Grandmother does. Like I said, You do not have to pick one or the other. You're giving your child a gift to make sure he excels in both.

Buena suerte!

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D.G.

answers from Houston on

I have friends whose kiddos hear one language from parents at home and another from school/daycare/nanny. Their kiddos haven't had any problems at all switching back and forth and I think it is great that they are bilingual.

The younger a child is the easier it is for them to learn another language. If I were you I'd look into putting your older one in mother's day out a couple days a week. Most area churches have mother's day out programs, and you should look into signing them up now if you want them to start in the fall.

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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

Just to be upfront, I am not hispanic or bilingual so I have no real firsthand experience other than what I saw growing up with lots of bilingual friends. I grew up in california in a very diverse school district, so my opinions are based on that.

I think it would be good to put your son in some kind of program, whether it is daycare or some kind of dual language program. At 2 1/2 i don't think there is any teasing or making fun of children yet. At least not in any of the playgroups we have participated in. My son is 2 1/2 and I have never seen any of the kids his age make fun of the other kids. Some of them aren't talking at all yet. I really think there is nothing to worry about there. In a year or two, it could definitely happen. So I think it would be better to do it now, instead of later. My nephew is also 2 1/2 and doesn't talk much. Recently he was here on an extended visit, and I babysat him weekdays every day. My son is an early talker, and he and my nephew and played great together. Sometimes my son would ask me something that I knew had to do with not understanding my nephew, but there was nothing mean-spirited about it all. And it was good for them to be around each other, I think.

As far as forgetting his spanish, as long as you speak spanish regularly at home with him, I don't think he will forget it. I had a lot of bilingual friends that spoke perfect english having been brought up from birth in the US, but whose families spoke the other language (spanish, vietnamese, chinese, cambodian, filipino) at home, and they were fluent in both. And when I would go to their houses, the families would speak some english (some of the family members were more fluent than others) which was nice in my opinion, since I didn't feel uncomfortable.

I don't think you have anything to lose by getting your children in some type of program early on. It will make a world of difference in their educations, social lives, and future success if they are comfortable speaking english before they start school. Being bilingual is going to give them a huge advantage. And there is no reason to think they will forget spanish if they are exposed to it consistently. Hopefully someone will have some good advice on what kind of program to put him in. Good luck!

Oh, PS, your english is great.

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

Usually libraries have offers for free English reading lessons, they may have ideas for ESL classes.

Look into ESL (English as a second language) classes- not sure if they do them for small kids.

If you are open to relocating, certain parts of the country are majority hispanic now (Southern California is just one) and you could find that the schools accomodate spanish language and most students speak it.)

Rosetta Stone, a language publisher, might have totorial DVD's on Eglish language.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I'm responding from the place in which my 6 yo grandson has a speech learning difficulty and doesn't speak English very well. He's difficult to understand and has a great deal of difficulty in school. He becomes very frustrated because people do not understand him. Unlike your son, English is his only language which means he has difficulty everywhere.

Your son will fit in within his family and with other Spanish speaking people but if he doesn't speak English by the time he goes to school he will have difficulty therefore it is important that hespeak and understand English by the time he gets into school.

Two may be too young for him to be in day care but as others have said, it's easier to learn another language when you're young. I suggest that you introduce him to English by finding ways for him to play with English speaking children his age. Perhaps in Sunday School, at the playground, with neighbor's children or even a bi-lingual day care.if that seems appropriate.

Your city, Cincinnati, has social services for people from other cultures. I'd look into getting information from such an office. They could put you in touch with Puerto Rican social groups that you could try out. Such a group could be entertaining and helpful for your family and help him learn English. There would be other mothers with this same question.

I don't think your son would be teased. Toddlers and preschoolers are still open and curious and have not yet learned to tease. If he isn't able to speak English by the time he enters public school he will probably be teased. Another reason to expose him to English now.

We have a Spanish bi-lingual preschool in our neighborhood. I don't know the age at which a child can start there. I'm sure that your city has similar schools. If you could find one or two they could give you more information perhaps by phone.

I think the best way to get enough information to help you decide would be to talk with other Puerto Rican or Spanish speaking families who have experienced this in your city.

He will not forget Spanish as long as you are speaking spanish with him. It is a great advantage to be bi-lingual.

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

hi
it's great that you are keeping your native language alive and well... and as long as you speak it at home, he will NOT lose it. However. yes, I do think that he should begin to learn English as schools at least most here, teach in English.. why not begin to get him acclimated... you can do this by renting kids learning videos in English. Now, even if he does attend school , he will eventually learn English, but since this is a place where English is the dominant language and if for example it were the other way around you lived in the U.S. and then moved to Puerto Rico, I hoped that you would be inclined to learn the language there.... it's survival as I see it...
Whatever country one goes to.. I do believe if a person is going to live there.. one should learn that country's main language. Also, there are plenty of Adult English classes, perhaps you and your husband could learn the language as well.. it surely doesn't hurt to know as many languages as possible.... especially when a kid is young.. my son, speaks three : English, Spanish and Italian..... for which he was spoken to from the get go...

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

The human brain process language skills at an early age - I was always amazed when teaching gymnastics at how many 3-4 year old kids were completely bilingual. The longer you wait to teach English, the harder it will be for them to learn it, and the more teasing they'll receive from other kids (especially here in the midwest).

When my family immigrated from Italy, the language was lost because it was unacceptable to speak anything but English in the US. I only learned Italian by minoring in it in college.

Growing-up outside of DC, we had a ton of kids in ESL (English as a Second Language) programs. We also had a ton of friends whose parents didn't speak a lick of English having moved to the US as adults from Spanish-speaking nations, Korea, the middle East, etc.

Many families we knew spoke both English and their native language at home to help both parents and children learn and retain their language skills.

I, personally, think one of the biggest disservices we do to people immigrating from spanish-speaking nations is to have all of our information in Spanish - it never forces people to learn English if they can get by with their native tongue. If I were to go to France, Italy, Germany, Japan, I would want to learn enough of their language to be proficient until I could gain more skill.

Best wishes to you!

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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Your child at 2 years old will be able to absorb both Spanish and English at the same time. He can pick up English in day care and hearing Spanish spoken at home will make him conversant in the language as well. If you speak to him in English at home as well, then there is a big chance he will definitely not learn Spanish.

You may also allow him to watch age-appropriate English TV shows and also read some books in English to him. The latter will also help you hone your English speaking skills. As he grows up and enters school, there will be more avenues to learn English.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Are you kidding? Did you write your own post? Because if you did write it, your English is excellent. It's time to start speaking English to your son in your home. I work in a middle school, and it's not good for the kids to not speak English very well.

Speak English to your boy at home. He will learn enough Spanish.

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

put him in a preschool you feel best suits yoiur family with regaurd to how teacher child interaction is handled the style in which they allow your children to learn and flourish...the english language will come best if you throw him in there now...don't worry about him losing his home language if you and your husband speak it a home, it will remain his birth language...

as a toddler fully immersed he will learn english naturtally and any expression he needs to express he will most likely have the wonderful ability to do so in both spanish and english. i believe they call this thinking in in both languages...my birth language while not my ancestoral language is english i then think in english. your birth language is spanish, therefore you speak in spanish. you son may have the opportunity to think in both languages and have a full grasp and understanding of each foster his birth language and allow him the chance to naturally master english, his nations language and he will be ahead of the language game...

you pointed out your english was not so good and appologized for your misspellings, which to me hints at an insecurity you may have when using the english languge with native english thinkers...so you might just be able to foster your own mastery of the english language if you so desire with your sons help

good luck to you and i pride you on seeking to maintain his native language my ansestoral language was long ago abandoned gaelic is rarely spoken never fully and unreckognizable to most everyone here in california. my ancestors became americans when you either learned the native tongue or suffered the consequences, ie no work no food and there were no ways around it...remember just how lucky non english speaking immigrants are in 2010, by every means possible your language is respected and revered,

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

I think you are going to be fine! kids are pretty elastic at age 2, and he can learn English pretty easily, and if you continue to speak Spanish at home, he will be retain that. I would look for a preschool with a teacher who speaks Spanish. It might take some time, but it would be good for him to have someone who can communicate with him in both languages while he is learning.

You could also contact Help Me Grow in Ohio-this is the early intervention program and they may have services for children whose primary langague is not English, and he will qualify for ESL services once he hits school, which will help him to jugle the inconsistencies between the two languages and make sure that he does not have any difficulty with either one. I would also contact Head Start, he might be elegible for state sponsored preschool as an ESL student.

Good luck! I think your English is amazing! Welcome to Ohio!

M.

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C.S.

answers from Miami on

Dear J.,

We live in South Florida (not Miami but still a great majority here speak Spanish). All of the workers in our daycares speak Spanish and many don't speak English well enough to communicate with the English speaking parents. My son has learned a lot of bilingual songs from his daycare and has watched several children's shows: Sesame, Dora, etc in Spanish. He will actually tell me when putting on a DVD that he wants to watch that one in Spanish.

I do speak Spanish (lived / worked in a Spanish speaking country as an adult professional) but my husband speaks English and French. Since we don't have a common language besides English, we speak English at home although I do encourage the Spanish my son has picked up to date. He is 4 now.

We have had several incidences of children in my son's extracurricular activities (PlayBall, SoccerTots, Music classes) where the children come to an activity but don't speak any English. In all cases, you can see their frustration when Mom has to interpret everything the teacher / coach is saying. I honestly don't understand why a parent would prevent a child from learning the local language. If we ever have a chance to live overseas again, I will be sure that my children learn as much of the local language as possible.

I am assuming your community is primarily English speaking so if that is the case, continue speaking Spanish at home (proper Spanish - not Spanglish) but make sure that your son gets some English so he doesn't drown when he gets to school.

Best wishes to you and your family! C.

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G.R.

answers from Dallas on

hello

my 7 year old speak english and spanish try to talk to him i spanish at home and in the daycare they will talk in english at first he may not understand but in a month or so he will understand everything and we will be doing anything possible to speak in english and that way he didn'y lose the spanish but he will speak english.

also try to rent some videos in english and some in spanish that help,another thing is that in school my son is in bilingual because is the only program that teach to read and write in spanish and english.

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